My husband won’t read my blog. At least I don’t think he’s read it. At one point he hollered “I just read it!” How could he do that in twelve seconds? I thin he’s lying.
Why is it so critical that one of the most important people in my life takes a look at what I’ve so carefully crafted? I really have no idea. And what would he say to me if he did? Give me a high five? Sign me up for a writing class? Throw something at me? Tell me that he doesn’t yearn for meat nearly as much as I have led the world to believe? Not sure…
In other news, I think I’m doing this all wrong. A couple of nights ago while waiting for the Ambien to kick in I googled “How to get more people to read your blog”. This is what I learned:
1) Find your audience. I didn’t know they were missing. Seriously, I was more thinking that I just need to get stuff out there and put down what’s in my head, as scary as that may be. I guess whoever likes it, well, that’s my audience. Glad I found you.
2) Dark colored background…BAD. Oh nooooooooooo… if your blog is dark no one will ever read it. Nice. Honestly, I looked high and low for a background I really liked. Sorry Charlie, I like the particular theme I chose, Dusk to Dawn. Nothing else on WordPress seemed to fit my personal style. After reading this, I actually went into the themes and looked again. I still don’t like any of the others. Dark is me (well, actually I’m quite pale.)
3) Tweet. I don’t. I know everyone is doing it. I just don’t feel a need to do it.
4) Simplify. Did you know that in this day and age people don’t actually READ blogs? They SCAN them. That’s news to me, because I still read stuff.
5) Use images to break up text. Because it’s really hard work to see all of those words. Sometimes I use pictures and sometimes I don’t. Depends on what I’m trying to do. I could just find random pictures and put them in to break stuff up, like this…
What’s really super awesome is that if I choose to use this as my only image in here that will be the “featured image” for this post. I like that. I like toilet paper.
6) Unless you’re famous, no one reads personal blogs anymore. Well that does it. Guess I’m gonna have to get famous. I’m still not going to tweet.
I really DO want people to read my blog, because I want them to be entertained. It’s cheaper than therapy. It’s also great to get feedback. It’s nice to be appreciated. I made a page on Facebook, put it out there for family and friends, and try to at least try to attract a handful or so of people who might enjoy my warped humor.
I still don’t get how I’m really supposed to use tags. I’ve read a bunch of stuff, and I don’t have the patience to watch the video tutorials. So I just pick random stuff and use it as a tag. Probably not the thing you’re supposed to do, eh? Despite my unwillingness to watch a video, through my persistence I have figured out some awesome features on WordPress. You can see the countries people are from that view your blog. I don’t know why, but I think that is very neat! So far I have people from the US, Canada, Australia, India, and Norway. Not bad for just a few days of being public. Maybe I am famous after all.
I’ve recovered from my self proclaimed “Idea Diarrhea” and am now afflicted with some sort of brain constipation (and have no cool name for it). I have some random stuff in my head but when it comes out it doesn’t come out right. Is there a sort of stool softener for your brain? Or brain fiber? If there is, please tell me where to get it…