This is really getting out of hand.
My sister’s birthday is on Thursday. In true ADD fashion I am just now getting around to doing stuff for it. I’ve thought about it quite a bit, as usual I realized “Hey it’s in TWO days!” today. And we’re making stuff, because that’s what we do.
Hey sis, if you read my blog, your present is going to be late. Mainly because stuff needs to dry. Scared yet? By the way, I wrote this yesterday. I DO know when your birthday is.
Princess Impatient loves to help Mommy make stuff. Especially if there is any sort of art involved. I scrapbook and I make my own cards. Ahem, I used to scrapbook and I used to make my own cards. That’s because whenever I get stuff out she must be involved, and take over. So now WE make cards. My goal is to start scrapbooking again before the month is over. I have a couple of days. We’ll see how that goes. I can give the princess a scrapbook page of her own to make, but somehow I don’t think that will fly with the dog. That will be another post: The Dog Ate My Scrapbook Page, He’s Dead Now.
So WE made a card today. It started out simple. After she got done with it, I think it could possibly be used to reflect the sun away from the earth. It’s THAT sparkly. Four year olds don’t have any form of sparkle self-control. There’s no glitter, just lots and lots of sparkly stuff. I don’t want to go there, because to paraphrase Demetri Martin “Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies”. Because once it gets on you, you’ve got it forever.
(For the comedically uninformed, Demetri Martin is one of the funniest people who’ve ever walked this earth. He not only does stand up comedy but draws lots of pictures and stuff. Here is an example of his funniness. I understand he just wrote a book. I need to make money so I can buy it.)
I mentioned the “worm” that she crafted out of sparkly pom poms and craft sticks yesterday. This worm thing is also getting out of hand. We now are on to our second worm, second worm house, a worm slide, and a worm teeter totter. She wants to make many more worms, mainly because she’s obsessed with those sparkly pom poms. I hate pom poms because no matter what kind of glue you use they won’t stick to anything (I haven’t tried Super Glue-I’m not giving that to a 4 year old. I have visions of the dog wearing permanent sparkles, glued to the side of the stove). She also wants to make worm chew toys, because apparently worms are notorious for chewing stuff up (who knew?) By the way, the worms are named Worma and Wormy. Worma has issues with her head-I think it must be some sort of genetic mutation that only sparkly worms get. Her head won’t stay on. She’d be an easy target for The Highlander. Oh wait, worms don’t have hands (no sword fighting going on at that worm house). Maybe if Princess Impatient would just WAIT FOR THE GLUE TO DRY!
Anyway, back to the gift making process. We have a very sparkly card, various artwork, and before the end of the day we may have a human sized sculpture to send through the mail. I can’t afford that kind of postage. I hope I can find the postage I have. I hope she likes Christmas stamps.
(Mom-I made you a card for Mother’s Day. It was very cool. I had it. I never sent it. Then I meant to give it to you but I forgot. Then I lost it. Maybe you’ll get it by next Mother’s Day.)
Oh wait, we’re back to the worms again. Now she wants the worms to have pets. Adhesive google eyes on a sparkly pom pom-BAM! You got pets. Oh wait, now they’re worm babies. I don’t have the heart to tell her how worms reproduce.
This could go on for days…