This Is Your Brain on ADD and Anxiety (Cue The Frying Pan)

I bet you’ve noticed that often I post twice a day.  I’m not overzealous.  Well maybe a little (remember the idea diarrhea?)  It’s more because I have ADD.

When I have an idea, I’ve found that I have to go with it.  Quickly.  If I don’t get it down then the general thing I’m wanting to convey is gone.  So when an idea strikes I go to my computer and start typing.  Sometimes it all comes together and sometimes it doesn’t.  At least not right away.  I actually have as many as five posts being written at a time.  That’s how my brain works.  It’s like a bunch of firecrackers being lit and thrown up in the air, landing in the yard randomly. OR maybe it’s just the rocks in there smacking together.

The rocks in my head probably aren’t this pretty…

I believe I mentioned a while ago that I had a notebook to write this stuff down.  I can’t find it.  Imagine that.  I guess it really doesn’t matter, I tend to do my best thinking when I’m out walking.  I have to rush home and quickly get the stuff down in writing.  Might as well just type it in.

Once I get a post partially written, my brain starts wandering and I think to things that this particular post reminds me of.  Sometimes I have a picture in my brain that I want to find.  Then I get on Google and try to find the images that fit the story.  Some do, some don’t.  For example, I really really wanted a picture of a guy hugging a football.  I couldn’t find one, and I searched a very long time using all sorts of search criteria.  Evil Genius was kind enough to offer to pose with a football for me.  By the way, he still hasn’t read my blog.

This searching for pictures can sometimes go on for quite some time before I give up and go on to another idea.  This is where things start to get hairy.  I’ve been working on it off and on for a total of over an hour now.  Distractions are coming to a peak level because Princess Demanding is annoyed all to heck at this point.  I try to have her doing some sort of fun project when I blog, because heaven forbid she actually play by herself.  “Mommy are you done yet?”  “Mommy can I have some (insert food or drink here)?”  “Mommy can I paint the ceiling?”  “Mommy… Mommy… Mommy…”  Never mind that I have already played Littlest Pet Shop and Princess Bingo with her for an hour.  It’s hard to please the Princess.

If I had found a picture I felt fit, I would have put it right HERE…

Then on comes the Anxiety to accompany the ADD.  Is it good enough to publish?  Should I add more?  Will this possibly offend anyone?   Why can’t I find the stuff I need?  Did I put on a bra this morning?  I can smell myself-where’s my deoderant?  And I also worry about past posts.  What if that person that I mentioned realizes who I am and gets mad?  What if somebody reads totally too much into it?

I’m a huge fan of Bill Engvall, not just because he is funny, but because I think his brain works much like mine.  On fishing:  “And this thought led to this one.  How did fish acquire a taste for worms?  Cause worms live under the ground.  Fish-in the water.”  He’s never claimed to be ADD, but I’d like to think that as successful as he is, maybe I too have a chance!

Along with all this there’s a lot of other stuff going on in my head.  No I’m not suffering from any other kind of disorder (that I know of), I just like to think that the stuff in my head is much like the cast of characters of a show.  We owe a lot of the stuff happening on my blog to the happy positive thoughts that have been coming out these days.  They’re kind of like cheerleaders.

The cheerleaders in my head… they’re not very good, but they’re very enthusiastic.

Today they’ve been kind of quiet.  Partly due to the freaky dream I had last night.  Partly due to the fact that I spent a large amount of time filling out applications for jobs that I will probably never hear back from.  I’m hearing from that very loud negative voice in my head…  “Why do you waste time on this blog?  Enough about your ADD already!  No one cares!  You have no marketable skills!  You have made all of the wrong choices!  You are solely responsible for your family’s financial situation because you’re out of a job! You will be unemployed FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!  BWAH HA HA!” (cue thunder and lightning)

Queen Bavmorda. She’s evil and loud… she’s the negativity in my head.

Ok, so that’s a little over dramatic.  And Bavmorda wasn’t exactly a Mom with her child’s best interests in mind as I am, but the evil negativity fits.  Today in my head a battle is brewing, Since cheerleaders aren’t very good when it comes to battle, she’s winning.  But I’m trying very very hard to be positive!  Think Happy Thoughts!  Come on cheerleaders, where are you hiding?

2 thoughts on “This Is Your Brain on ADD and Anxiety (Cue The Frying Pan)

  1. Maybe you don’t need cheerleaders. Maybe you need Michael–as in the John Travolta Michael–ready to do BATTLE with your evil negativity! Watch it–Princess Whoever would no doubt love the dog–it’s a funny, feel-good movie to lift your spirits!

    • You know I DO have a free rental at the video store. I should use it. I won the quote contest for the week. An easy one, “Are you supposed to make me pretty?” “No, I’m supposed to make an impression.” 😀

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