I’ve told my husband on several occasions that if he finds that my head has exploded, to please just clean up the brains on the floor. I know it sounds gross, but if you get bad headaches then you know that it might just make you feel better if it happens.
I have allergies. Runny OR stuffy nose (yeah, I get both, obviously not at the same time), eczema, watery eyes, all that stuff that makes for a rockin good time. I’m allergic to dust, mold, animal dander, pollen, grass, outdoors, indoors, etc. I not only have the allergies, I really look the part. I have what is called “allergic shiners”-super duper dark circles under my eyes that combines with my ghostly pale skin makes me look like I have never had a good nights’ sleep. I figure I could make a really good zombie with minimal makeup required, although I don’t have a taste for human flesh and brains. Maybe I should add that to my repertoire of potential jobs.
I take allergy meds, but they don’t help a whole lot. Which is sad, and very frustrating. Along with the allergies comes all kinds of fun stuff, including sinus headaches and the occasional MIGRAINE. I spelled MIGRAINE in all caps because it’s that intense. Want to know what a migraine feels like? Go to your local bowling alley and ask someone to throw a bowling ball at your head. If you don’t get knocked unconscious, you’ll wish you would be. It sucks. It’s not your everyday headache. When I get one, I can’t do anything. I can’t eat, read, watch TV, comprehend stuff. I lie in a dark room and wish for sleep. I used to take something for it, but that made me throw up. I’m already nauseous, let’s not add to the fun. Even once they subside, I have this lingering ache. I can function, but I still feel like poop. At least then I can eat. I have to eat what I call the migraine meal. The blandest food possible, usually some sort of noodle with butter. Food with taste, go away. I don’t like you today.
At least I often get a warning when they’re coming. I see stuff. No not fun stuff like dead people. I see what I call the twisty DNA lights. Sparkly lights that dance almost in a helix shape. I also tend to lose part of my vision. I literally can’t see. I’m sure I was real popular at my last job the one time it happened there-I was supposed to be conducting a reading session with kids. I couldn’t see the page. I had to cancel it for the day and go put my head down on my desk. That was fun! Not. When I taught preschool, my coteacher was the most awesome understanding person there was. There were several days when I would be reading to the kids and all of a sudden I couldn’t see the words. She would just jump right in and take over while I ran to take something to try to head it off at the pass. When I was pregnant, in addition to all of that, really weird stuff would happen. I couldn’t think straight and I almost couldn’t talk.
I guess I can’t just blame allergies, some of it is hormonal. I can always predict when its almost that time of the month by the severity of the headache. I also have a barometer head. You know the old guy who says when his knee hurts he knows its going to rain? My head is like that-I can often tell you when bad weather is headed this way. Tension headaches? Stress headaches? Yup, I get those too. And there is just good old fashioned caffeine withdrawal. I don’t have a problem with caffeine, I have a problem without it. But we won’t go there right now.
If you asked my husband he will tell you that I always have a headache. He thinks he’s being funny by saying that. I do get periods when I get them over several days. This would be when the pollen count is very high, it’s really hot and humid, etc. I remember a drawing of our family the Professor did in preschool, over stick figure that was supposed to be me the teacher had written “This is my Mom. She has a headache.” Ouch! I really don’t have them all the time, but I’ve never been one to get just a little headache. When I get them, they are whoppers. I wish I could just take my head off and put it away sometimes.
I really hope my kids don’t inherit my headachy tendencies. If they do, maybe they won’t be as much of a wuss as I am.