You know, this house is full of ADD people. Many days I really think it’s the proverbial blind leading the blind. I’m surprised we all get out of bed in the morning and get out of our house with clothes on, let alone function like normal people.
Case in point-lunchboxes. It’s bad enough that the Professor is severely ADD. What’s worse is that his Mom is right there with him. On Friday he came home without his lunchbox. I did not notice this. I went all weekend and didn’t notice this. On Monday we looked at the menu and decided that he would do his one day of hot lunch that day since it was chicken strips. It was then that he informed me that he never brought his lunchbox home. We talked about it, and he agreed that he would make sure to bring it home.
That afternoon he comes home and tells me that he still forgot to bring his lunchbox home, as well as his take home folder. Ok. Late last night I emailed his teacher and asked her to please remind him to put his lunchbox back in his backpack. This morning I threw together his lunch in a Target sack-a peanut butter sandwich, raisins, and almonds. Lunch of champions, I tell ya. I open up his backpack to stick it in and find HIS LUNCHBOX. Why did he tell me he forgot it? And why did I believe him?
After he left I saw I had a new email. It was from his teacher, it said “I put it in his backpack yesterday, did it not come home?” Ah. That explained it. He had no idea it was in there. I’m sure she told him. I’m sure he forgot since he didn’t put it in there himself. I sheepishly fired an email back telling her that I did not physically check it.
This IS the child whose backpack I didn’t check for awhile because we have always had him put anything important in a folder. After several reminders, he knows to bring us the folder. And to put his lunchbox on the counter. One day last year I noticed his backpack was getting pretty bulky. I opened it and pulled out five sweatshirts.
There are a lot of things that happen that are purely my fault around here, simply for me not thinking to double check on stuff that he does. One of the jobs we have him do around the house is take the frozen groceries down into the basement and put them in the big freezer. That’s not complicated. I assumed that he could do it by himself. However, one time he left the freezer door standing wide open. Overnight. Thank goodness it was pretty much just bread in there. I don’t know why I’m worried, I think that freezer has a force field around it. This is the freezer that you bet I’ll climb in if we are ever attacked. It survived the basement flood. It floated in several feet of water, and somehow continued to work.
The kid gets it from both sides. I was diagnosed with ADD in 2003. My husband has never officially been diagnosed, but he’s a classic case. Another absent minded professor. You may recall a previous post where he had every lunch container we owned at work. He brought home a bag full of them, finally!
I am really dreading The Professor’s eye appointment coming up in a couple of weeks. He has lazy eye. He has been wearing glasses for a couple of years to try to correct it, but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. That might have something to do with the fact that he was without glasses on and off over this time. There for a while we were going in to get his glasses fixed almost weekly. Medicaid doesn’t exactly give you high quality frames. My mother finally helped us buy a pair that was considered indestructible. He broke those too. At one point he had one pair broken and one pair missing a lens. After a lot of stress, we were finally able to get the one glasses lens replaced and the other pair of glasses replaced entirely thanks to a very understanding lady at the eye place. She took one look at the good broken glasses and said, “I’m going to replace those for you. That shouldn’t happen!” Now he has two pairs of glasses, and the replacement pair has remained intact. However he looks right over the top of them. He was also given an eye patch that he was supposed to wear for an hour a day at his last appointment. That lasted a little while. Of course now it’s lost somewhere in the house. It has been for awhile. I have looked EVERYWHERE. I kept thinking that I needed to call the eye doctor and get a new one. And I kept forgetting. Now it’s been a couple of months and his appointment is coming up. I am embarrassed to take him and tell the doctor the truth: That I do not have a brain.
Glasses and our family are not friends. I have needed glasses since the 4th grade. I have a slight astigmatism/nearsightedness and basically need them to read stuff far away. According to the DMV, I don’t even need them. This is probably a good thing, since I can’t seem to hold on to a pair. I calculate that I have lost at least five pairs of prescription sunglasses. I also lost my favorite glasses. These were a pair of nifty looking plastic frames that I got as a freebie with my expensive transition lens wire frames I got a couple of years ago. Transitions are great, but not for driving, because they don’t really darken in your car. I have very light eyes, and get headaches when I don’t wear dark sunglasses. So I also had a pair of prescription sunglasses for driving, which of course I lost.
I currently use a pair of purple plastic sunglasses that cost $5 at Walmart to drive. And then I just forget to put my glasses on. And I wonder why I miss stuff.
My wedding ring is also missing. Again. It’s in our house somewhere. Since it is “pokey” (as my daughter would say) I have to take it off when I sleep so I don’t slice my face open when I sleep. So I’m sure it’s either in my bedroom because it got knocked off the nightstand, or in the living room taken off when I attempted to take a nap. I sure hope the dog hasn’t eaten it. He eats dental floss and dryer lint, why not wedding rings too? I am glad my husband isn’t easily offended. Of course he can’t talk-he used to work in a factory where if he wore a wedding ring there would be danger of his finger being torn off. So every day he would put it in his pocket. And forget about it. I would wash his pants and it would come flying out of the dryer. It became the running joke between us for the duration of his time at that job. If we had money, I’d ask him to buy me a wedding band for our anniversary, that way I wouldn’t take it off. I want a Lord of the Rings looking wedding band, but I’m afraid of the side effects.
I’m thinking another great invention for ADD people would be things that you just can’t off. Glasses, wedding rings, etc. We sure would lose them a lot less.
The Princess may be our very own Obi-Wan Kenobi. She may very well be our only hope. She seems to have escaped the curse thus far. She’s pretty on top of things. I’m not saying she’s not going to have other issues, but at least she may be able to not be distracted by everything she sees. I hope she doesn’t “develop” it later on.
Sigh… oh to just be able to pass as normal. It’s never going to happen. So bear with me. I really try. I really will keep trying when I remember to. Just don’t hate my kid. It’s not his fault, it’s all mine. Don’t worry because I worry about it plenty (anxety, remember?)