I think I need to join a support group.
Today I stood looking at the pile of laundry that is getting pretty tall. I don’t do getting off track a little, I do it to extremes. I forget to do laundry for a few days, and then it’s out of control. Some of it is forgetfulness, a lot of it is procrastination. EXTREME PROCRASTINATION! Speaking of, I really hope my husband wore pants to work today. I threw in laundry after 10 pm last night-that was when I realized that I had seriously neglected laundry. He had no clean pants, so genius that I am I threw every pair he owned into the washing machine. I had every intention of one of us putting it in the dryer, but then we both went to bed.
They know where I live, they can come after me if they had to look at his boxer briefs all day.
We’ve watched a few episodes of Matthew Perry’s Go On this year. It’s funny, though not the fall over laughing funny I figured it would be. Support groups are funny, right? I decided that there needs to be some sort of support group for people like me. You know, people who procrastinate.
All cool groups have an acronym for their name. I can’t quite decide what this support group should be called. I have it narrowed down to two different acronyms. The first one I came up with was P.E.E.P.-“Parents Experiencing Extreme Procrastination”. Come on, that’s cool, right? If you had to go to a meeting, no one would have to know, and you certainly wouldn’t have to lie. You could just tell people you were going to hang out with your peeps. Total truthfulness, right there…
The other one I came up with was P.O.O.P-“People Overcoming Overt Procrastination”. Poop gets people attention. And you wouldn’t necessarily have to lie about that one either. Just tell people you have to go to poop. Now in my situation that would never work because I haven’t been in the bathroom alone since 2005. I either have a child, a dog, or a cat with me.
Imagine the meeting. “Hi my name is Maria. I haven’t folded laundry in 3 years. I also can’t find any of my socks.”
“My name is Sherman, I haven’t mowed my lawn in three months. I was planning on doing it tomorrow.”
“Hi I’m Willow, I have been wanting to redo my son’s nursery. He graduates from high school next week.”
So about the name, should we put it to a vote? Or should I find something different if I get around to it, because P.E.E.P. is too weird and nobody wants to come to a group that implies feces of any kind?
Of course, I’m not sure if this type of support group would actually work because people would procrastinate about coming. “Oh, maybe I’ll do it next week.” I rather imagine it would never even get started, because the person in charge of promoting it would wait to do it.
As a matter of fact, I’m procrastinating right now writing this, because I have to chop down the laundry mountain. And fold it. Yeah, I’m an expert. Perhaps I should become a Procrastination Consultant? Well…I’ll do it tomorrow.