Oscar the Grouch Doesn’t Live Here, So GET OUT OF MY TRASH!

Scram! Get away from my can!

My dog has an unhealthy relationship with plastic and cloth.

To be perfectly honest, he’s a pretty good dog.  He’s a bit hyper because he’s still a puppy. He lets me know when he has to go potty-he knows the word potty and gets all excited when I ask him if that’s what he needs.  He’s pretty sweet.  He used to sleep at the foot of our bed, but now that he has figured out that we aren’t going anywhere in the middle of the night, he prefers to sleep on the couch.  I let him out each night to go potty, and he is usually zonked out on the couch by the time I go to bed.

At some point in the middle of the night, however, our sweet dog becomes a maniac of sorts.  He goes crazy, I guess.  He gets into our trash, and tears everything up.  By morning there is trash strewn from one end of the house to the other.  Mainly plastic-torn up plastic bags, plastic containers, but also some paper towels and styrofoam.  I’m assuming he has eaten any food remnants that are in there, because I haven’t found any.

Interestingly enough, this is what you get when you type in “dogs at night” into Google. Not at all what I was looking for (but good music,man).

I’ve made sure his food bowl is full before I go to bed.  I make sure he has a couple of his rawhide chews, too.  Neither seems to make a difference.  We’ve yelled at him, we’ve smacked him on the nose with it, we’ve put him directly outside.  We’ve tried several different tactics, but none of them have worked.  We’ve even joked about booby trapping the trash can with mousetraps.

Honestly, I guess it could be worse.  It’s not like he’s tearing up other stuff (well, sort of, just keep reading).  There were a couple of times where he also stole some plastic cups and took them into the other room and chewed them a little.  There was also a rubbermaid lid, but he seems to be shifting his focus solely on our trash can.

Putting him into a kennel at night isn’t an option because we don’t have one, nor can we afford one.  I’ve tried looking on Craigslist for a used one, but so far I haven’t scored anything.  Putting him outside at night isn’t an option either, since the only place we can really put him is in the garage.  He tends to bark at a lot of stuff while he’s out there.  I rather imagine we’re already unpopular with our neighbors since we haven’t mowed our lawn in ages, let’s not make that any worse.

It’s probably a good thing my second grader doesn’t have homework yet.

The worse offense, however, occurred a couple of nights ago.  This surprisingly was unrelated to trash.  We had gone to bed, both of us at the same time even.  Not too long afterwards there came an awful racket from downstairs.  I went down expecting to see the trash can upside down or something.  Nooooo.  Instead there was stuffing and foam everywhere, and my couch cushion laying in the middle of the floor.  Oh the horror!  The Sheldon Cooper in me about went ballistic-I am very overprotective of my spot on the couch.  Luckily, he only managed to chew out the back corner of it.

Our puppy now has a new place of honor at night.  There is no kennel involved.  He gets to stay on his leash, in the bedroom.  Honestly, I think he kind of likes it.  He’s a weird, weird dog.

Is there an explanation for the recent couch cushion dismemberment? Maybe there’s something I missed in my couch.

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