REBLOG: The ADD Mom Goes Out…Alone

Reblog from August-New and Improved with MORE PICTURES!!!!!

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

Yesterday a historic event occurred in our household.  I got out alone.  For more than 10 minutes.  I even took my car.  I overcame Mommy guilt and left the house and went to town.  It looked kind of like this picture:

When I mean going to town let me clarify-we live in the Midwest.  We don’t live in the middle of nowhere, but the nearest decent sized town is about 15 minutes away, 20 if you actually want to go anywhere there besides Wal-Mart.

We had gone to the fair the day before, so of course noone else was even interested in leaving the house.  As a matter of fact, I’m not sure that anyone even noticed that I left the house.  I decided to go walk around the lake in our nearby big town.  I wanted to take a loooooong walk, and I had enough time I could explore…

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Most Views Ever…

The following expresses how I feel having exceeded 200 views on my blog for the first time ever yesterday!

I hope it continues!  Thanks! More stuff coming soon!

The Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge: The Rest

I haven’t forgotten about the blogger challenge through A Little Unhinged. I’ve just been really busy with stuff like, receiving AWARDS (yes, people like me for some reason), not sleeping, and getting ready for the holidays.  Now I’m back to finish it up.  Today I’m answering all of the questions that I know won’t take a whole blog post to answer.  I realized that after we started the challenge that the questions were changed a little, so I may be answering some that aren’t on the list any longer!

What are your fears?

I also hate things that pop up suddenly-I can relate.

One of my biggest fears is something happening to my children.  I have lots of dreams where I’ve lost them.  I mean, like I can’t find them.  Dreams for me are so strange anyway.  I also dream about losing my husband.  Now as an ADD person, losing things is highly typical.  Just not children.

My other fear is natural disasters-specifically the more weather related ones.  I probably am afraid of these because it is something totally beyond my control.  My whole life seems beyond my control these days!  I actually have legitimate fear of tornadoes.  As a child we traveled home to see relatives during tornado season.  We were held up during one part of our route, and that turned out to be a good thing.  If we had been on schedule we would have been smack dab in the middle of a horrible tornado.  It was a scary night-I remember it vividly to this day.  The eerie cast to the sky, seeing all the destruction as we drove-telephone poles in the road.  And the radio broadcast-the stories they told. One woman got in her bathtub for safety and took a little ride in it.

A few years later when we were living in Maine my mother and I went shopping an hour and a half away from where we lived.  On the way back, a fuse went out and we were left in our Toyota in the dark, waiting for my dad to come help us.  It was a night of horrific weather with spectacular electrical storms.  This was very scary for me, even though we were probably in the safest place that we could be.  A lot of it probably had to do with that night in Iowa, but in Maine, thankfully tornadoes are very rare.

I can’t watch those shows about the super volcanoes or about the giant earthquakes or about giant asteroids smashing into the earth.  I just can’t!  They scare the bejeezus out of me.

What are your hobbies?

I scrapbook.  Or at least I used to.  Then life got in the way.  It was my release.  I am hoping getting my printhead ordered tomorrow so I can get back into it.  Much like my blogging, it takes up a lot of time because I am a perfectionist about it!

It’s true!  (ignore the typo)

The last couple of questions I saved for last.  This is because I am not real technically savvy when it comes to blogging.  If I hadn’t hooked up with A Little Unhinged, I’d probably still be walking around like a blindfolded person!

What are a couple of your favorite blog tools that you use?

Top blog tools that I use?  Ummmm… a laptop?  Maybe I should just say Bonnie Franks, she’s awesome at answering questions and helping you get things figured out on your blog!

Social Networks/Blog Communities that you want others to know you’re a part of.

Why cats are lousy with social media

Social Networks that I am a part of?  I have a fan page on Facebook, I use Twitter but not as much as I probably should (it is fun to do what I call “Twitterdropping”, where you read conversations that other people have on there.)  I have a Pinterest account that I’ve had for a long time, I just haven’t quite figured out how to link up to it yet.  I’ve joined SITS.  I’ve done a couple of Blog Hops.  I have an account on BlogHer and Networked Blogs.  I’m a member of the Bearded Iris’s #PMSClub on Twitter, does that count?  I created an account on Circle of Moms, but haven’t done anything else with it.  I have an account with SparkPeople through my other blog, Aluminum Girl, that I NEED to do more with but haven’t.  If you know of a social community that I SHOULD be a member of, or you WANT me to be a member of, please feel free to tell me about it!

And that’s all I’ve got for this challenge.  It’s been a lot of fun sharing.  It has also really helped me out-I’ve been inspired to change my blog to work better for me, and am trying to implement some changes that will help all of us connect better.  I have icons to load on there, and I am trying to make a blogroll on my sidebar that includes the blogs I read every day, not just the WordPress ones!  I like giving credit to people who have great blogs!

If you haven’t been participating in the challenge and want to, there’s plenty of time!  I couldn’t get the button right on my blog, but you can click on the link to A Little Unhinged and it will take you to the page where you can get going on it.

I hope you have enjoyed reading all of this!  😀  I leave you with this:

ALL THE CHALLENGE POSTS RIGHT HERE!:

This Could Be Fun:  I’m Doing The 15 Day Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge, Where I Grew Up, Favorite Childhood Memories, School, Work, Life, Friends, Family, Goals, The Why and the What, The Top Posts, The Blogs I Visit

A Letter To My Car

My poor car. You still look good old girl. Please don’t die on me…

Dear Peacemobile:

I know we have had our differences these past few years.  I just want you to know that I am truly sorry if you think that I have wronged you!

You are getting older, and are starting to have some physical issues, and as much as I want to help you I can’t.  You’ve been so good to me.  I’ve told you stories about how my old Plymouth Duster literally fell apart, when its window fell into the door in the parking lot.  You’ve been with me so long, and now you’re starting to have troubles.  It started with the front end, didn’t it?  I wanted to fix you but I couldn’t afford  it.  So we settled for a zip tie.  I know how it feels to no longer look fashionable.  My front is sagging too.  Now you have undercarriage issues.  So do I, on humans I believe it is called a “muffin top”.

Redneck repair and a repair that needs to be made, desperately…

Your insides are a mess.  So are mine.  I believe yours is from me just forgetting to pick things up.  Mine is from not eating right.

And the battery.  My husband tried to resurrect you, but the battery was a goner.  The battery transplant was a success.  So far it’s all working well.  That is one thing we could do to keep you going.  Nine years on one battery is pretty good.  And we have never done any of those no-nos, like shocking someone who was bitten by a snake-it’s actually written as a “don’t” in the American Red Cross First Aid Manual.

Yesterday I didn’t mean it to happen.  I just couldn’t get home fast enough.  The only thing I could have done was put electrical tape on it.  I sure hope that antenna didn’t harm anyone as it went flying down the interstate.  I am so sorry that you can no longer receive any radio stations.  Be happy we have an Ipod and CDs.  And I won’t apologize for all the times that I’ve gone down the highway singing “Jesus Take the Wheel” as loud as possible, or “Hillbilly Bone”, or any of that stuff.  You know I’m an excellent singer.

Oh where, oh where has my antenna gone? It’s somewhere on I-35, kind of like on the Allstate Mayhem commercials, except not as funny.

I don’t mean to stare at other cars. I can’t help it.  I wasn’t thinking when I posted that picture of the purple Prius on Pinterest.  I didn’t think you were listening when I said my next car may very well be a Volkswagon Beetle.  Come on, you know I can’t afford a new car.  I didn’t mean it!  And I know that you may be jealous of your new adopted brother, the Nissan.  He is very shiny and roomy and all, but we love all of our cars equally.

I’m not cheating on my car! I just love purple and I want a Prius someday! Just like I love my husband but put Thor on my last post!

How have I shown that I still care?  I made you jewelry.  I made you “custom” seatcovers.  I even bought you body art.

Look at all I’ve done for you!

I’m asking you to help me out.  I need you to PLEASE stick around.  Don’t leave me!  I need you.  Without you, I go nowhere.  I am stuck if you can’t run.  Please hang around, at least a couple more years!  Thank you for listening.  Your reward will be a half tank gas on payday.

Your faithful owner for the last nine years,

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

Awards! I Got Awards!

Oh you meant “A-Wards”, not “Wards”…

I got an award!  Then I got another award!  All right, I’ll try it.  I’m never good at these thingies.  And as I have discovered, this is a LOT of work!  Let’s see here…

The Beautiful Blogger Award

First up we have the Beautiful Blogger Award. I’m assuming it refers to the blog itself, and not the writer?  What?  Yes to both?  Ok.

I was nominated for the Beautiful Blogger award by momtimes4, a blog that I thoroughly enjoy reading every day!  She takes all the little things that happen in her house and draws cute little illustrations to go with them.  If you’re a Mom, whether you have two or six, you’ll be able to relate to these little stories and pictures!

Beautiful Blogger Award Rules:

The idea behind the Beautiful Blogger Award is to recognize some of the bloggers we follow for their hard work and inspiration.

1. Copy the Beautiful Blogger Award logo and place it in your post.

2. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.

3. Tell 7 things about yourself.

4. Nominate 7 other bloggers for their own Beautiful Blogger Award, and comment on their blogs to let them know.

7 things about myself (I hope they don’t have to be interesting!)

1.  I am the daughter of a Navy Submariner.  I grew up all over.  I was born in Maine and wound up in Iowa, where my parents are from.  We moved back here when I was 15.  I haven’t been able to get away since.  Somewhere there is a giant tractor beam holding me in here!

2.  I am a geek.  Challenge me to a game of Star Wars trivia and I will kick your behind.

3.  I have two children, ages 4 and 7.  I also have a husband and a black cat who both hate people.  And a dog that doesn’t hate people at all.

4.  If I had better fundage (is that a word?)  I would return to vegetarianism and buy all of my food at the local co-op that I’m a member of.  It is the best smelling place in the whole wide world.  I’m the one who shops there and cries because the only thing I can afford to buy there are spices and some of the bulk foods.  Someday…

5.  I don’t have a job at the moment due to no fault of my own (and it sounds like I’m not alone).  Since I already have a degree, the next step is naturally going to get my Masters in SOMETHING.  Naturally, I don’t have any clue what it would be in.  My interests lie in writing, wellness and health, nutrition, and all of that jazz.  Someday I hope to figure out what would best suit me.  And then win the lottery so I can afford to go to school.

6.  I love NASCAR.  I even got to go to a race this year.

7.  If it’s not chocolate or caffeinated, I probably don’t consume it regularly.  I’m trying to change that…

Ok, enough of that-now the best part is that I get to nominate seven other people whose blogs I thoroughly enjoy!  The only bad part of this is that I have to CHOOSE.  And I’m assuming that I can only choose WordPress blogs?  And I know how some of you feel about the awards on here (Becca at Lady Or Not, that’s why you’re not on this list or I would SOOOOO nominate you!)

Atlantamomofthree– She JUST got this award.  Now she’s getting it again, because she’s awesome.

Motherhood Is An Art-I love this blog.  One lovely Mommy to three lovely children.  Her son Bency cracks me up!

Adrea In Wonderland-This is one of the first blogs I followed on WordPress. She is just a neat person, and posts some really interesting stuff.  If you are a C.S. Lewis fan you’ll appreciate all of the Alice in Wonderland references.

My Brain on Kids-Funny Lady.  She is Adam Levine’s future girlfriend, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Cloudy, With A Chance of Wine-Funny Mom, fellow wine lover.

Highly Irritable Blog-Not only does she write the funny stuff, she writes some wonderful stories as well.

Marj Hatzell is The Domestic Goddess-She claims to give Stay-At-Home Moms a bad name.  She does anything but.

 

The Liebster Blog Award

This was awarded to me by Valerie over at Atlantamomofthree.  And I agree, I thought it said Lobster Award when I first saw it too.

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers by bloggers. It is a way of acknowledging each other and is for blogs with 200 or less followers. This is also a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs and get them more readers and followers!  When you receive the award, you post 11 random facts about yourself and answer 11 questions from the person who nominated you. You pass the award onto 11 other blogs (make sure you tell them you nominated them!) and ask them 11 questions. You are not allowed to nominate the blog who nominated you!

11 Random Facts about Me:

I despise crunchy vegetables, except for sweet bell peppers.  See my next fact for why that is so ironic.

I was a vegetarian for many years, and a vegan for a year while they tried to figure out why I was covered with an eczema type rash, why certain types of food made me sick, and why I was doubled over with stomach pain (nothing was ever figured out, other than the rash)

I have a famous friend, Marcus Collins of the Texas Tenors (The gorgeous blonde).  We went to college together. He is the sweetest person in the whole world, and he IS as genuine as he seems.  If you didn’t watch America’s Got Talent the season they went to the finals, you should take some time and check them out.  What they do is unique, and great stuff to listen to!  I also shook Ana Gasteyer’s hand once, but we’re not friends.

I went to school to be a music teacher-I have had to at least learn the basics for every basic band/orchestra instrument there is.  I found out that it was NOT my lot in life to be a brass player (I guess I kind of knew that already).  It sounds more like a dying cow than music…

People I hope to meet someday: Ellen Degeneres!  I am a huge fan of hers!  I’d also like to meet Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters, Seth McFarlane, George Lucas, Demetri Martin, and Michelle Obama.  And a lot of the bloggers I follow I’d love to meet in person for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.  Contact me if you’re interested.  *wink*

I don’t sleep.  At least not without assistance.

When I was in 4th grade, the band teacher told my mother I had no musical talent whatsoever.

I am so allergic to certain plants that my eyes swell shut if I smell them. I know one of them is a type of evergreen, but there are other mystery plants.

I wear tie-dye most days of the week.  I don’t know why.  I just like it.  I also have lots of things with mandalas and yoga-type stuff on them.

As a child, I was such a picky eater that I would only take pb&j sandwiches in my lunches.

When I had my daughter, I couldn’t walk for a long time because somehow my pelvis was out of alignment,  and still to this day I do not have full range of motion in my neck.  So you can say that she is a pain in the neck, literally.

The 11 Nominees (Please don’t be offended if you have more than 200 followers! Not everyone shows the number of followers on their blog, and I still think you deserve an award even if you have more than 200!!) :D  I tried and tried to find 11 blogs that I follow on WordPress that had less than 200 and I was wildly unsuccessful.  That says something for the blogs on here, that you all are AWESOME!  And if I nominated you and you’re not into this type of thing, just ignore this and go on with your life.  So here are the ones that I nominated:

MomTimes4-One of the bestest blogs outs there!  Illustrations of everyday family life.  Funny!  If you’re a parent you’ll find something that you can relate to here!

Front Range Scribbles-A blog that everyone can relate to because it’s about a little of everything.  Plus fantastic photos!

Sky Blue With Daisies– Check out her art.  I think she’s great!

Dancing In The Rain-Living life with chronic illness and a fabulous attitude!

ADDadultstrategies-If you’re ADD this blog is a great resource.

Bug Bytes-Another fun blog from a Mom!

Naptime WritingMoms unite!!!

The Flat Broke Blog-Show this girl some love.  She’s back on the cheese line.

11 Questions for me

~Would you rather live where they have mild winters and very hot summers, or have freezing winters and mild summers?

Freezing winters and mild summers.  I hate to be hot.  And you can always put more clothes/blankets on when you’re cold, but you can only take so much off when you’re hot!

~If you had to choose a different decade to live in for one month from 1900-1990, which would you choose? Why?

The 1960s.  I am very interested in that time period!

~Do you have children? How many?

Yes, I have two.

~Where you live are there more cars than bikes? Do you own a bike?

Cars.  I do own a bike.  I used to bike everywhere.  Another unfortunate side effect of having children.

~What is one thing you are really proud of that you’ve learned how to do as an adult? (Mine is juggling!!)

How to make good food out of a few cheap ingredients.

~What is your favorite fiction book?

The Princess Bride by William Goldman.  And I read it BEFORE I saw the movie, thank you very much!

~If you found $1000 cash on a ride at an amusement park, what would you do?

Take it to the lost and found, of course!

~What is your favorite kind of music to listen to?

Ooooo… I’m probably on a special list.  I don’t really have just one favorite.  If you were to somehow hack into my Ipod, you’d find a little of everything.

~What do you think is the best way to spend a Saturday night?

A long walk under a full moon, then watch a good movie

~Would you rather spend a week in the mountains or on a beach? Why?

In the mountains.  Quiet, many hiking opportunities, and you can’t beat that scenery!

~Do you do Pinterest? Want to share your link?

Yes I do.  And yes I will!

11 Questions for the Nominees:

-What is the neatest place you have ever visited and why?

-Favorite kind of pet?

-If you could only eat one food for a whole year, what would it be?

-Who is (or was) your celebrity crush?

-What genre of movie do you enjoy the most?

-If there was one thing that you could do that you can’t right now, what would it be and why?  (I would go back to school, and take cello lessons)

-Do you have a hobby that you enjoy?

-If you could invite influential, famous, or just people you admire over for dinner, who would you invite?

-What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

-If you were given $10,000 and were told you had to give away half of it to help someone, who would you give it to?

-What led you to start blogging?

Ok, that’s all I’ve got!  Happy reading/answering and so forth!!!!

My Christmas List, No Holds Barred

This really has nothing to do with my Christmas list but man did it make me laugh!

Now that we’re starting to get into the swing of the holiday season, I have something I want to share.  I know that Jesus is the reason for the season, and I know that I’m an adult and should be wishing for stuff like world peace and all that jazz for Christmas.  But I don’t want to.  I’m too broke to do much for Christmas.  My husband and I won’t be exchanging gifts and the kids will be getting precious little this year. So for now I just want to dream a little.  Today I want to be totally immature and selfish and think about all the stuff that I really wish I could get for Christmas. Then I’ll drown my sorrows in cheap wine.  So anyhoo, if you’re not offended by the fact that I’m not thinking about anyone but myself for the duration of this post, please read on. If you ARE offended, then, well… I got nothin.

MY CHRISTMAS LIST 2012

1)  A fake fireplace.  Really!  I AM DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT WANTING THIS!  I have always wanted a fireplace in my living room.  Insurance companies don’t really like them much and we really can’t afford to knock a wall out to put one in our living room.  But a fake one would work-all of the perks without the hassle, not to mention that we could mount our TV right above it.  They also have models with a place for all of your electronics.  I could bask in the warmth of the crackling fire while he watches… football.  Not a total win win, but I’d gladly take it.  Lowes sells them.  If anyone wants to donate one to me, I’ll point you in the right direction.  I’ll even drive you there.

Chestnuts not roasting on an open fire (because it’s faaaaaaake…)

2)  My gym membership paid in full for one year.  If I wanted to get really wild and crazy I’d also wish for someone to watch my kids while I went.  Of all the things I have had to give up in order to save money, this is the one I miss the most.  That and my newspaper subscription-but reading the news wasn’t really doing me much good. This was!  I have the flabby post gym membership booty to prove it, and that makes me sad.

3)  Wine of the week club.  Imagine the possibilities.  Wine delivered weekly to my front door.  So much more useful that a fruit of the month.  Add a chocolate of the week to go along with it and it would be way too perfect.  SIGN ME UP!  Oh yeah, I also need some wine glasses…

I want one. Or two. These are from a local winery here in Ioway.

4)  Mandatory Massages– This would go nicely with the wine.  A certain time each week set aside for a nice massage.  No exceptions.  Hold my calls, I’m relaxing.  These would be given by my husband.  Or a person of his choosing.

5)  A deeper bathtub– I love to take baths.  My problem is that even if I fill our bathtub all the way up and lay down as far as I can in the water, certain, um,  parts of me are barely submerged.  And I am not a big person.  If Matt Muenster and Bath Crashers ever come to my town, look out!

I could go for this too.  That’s neat.  But this bathtub isn’t deep enough.

6)  Drawers that are not baskets-Imagine if you will a bedroom set with many drawers.  You slide the drawers open to get clothes.  You slide them closed after you take the clothes out.  Slide out, slide in, slide out, slide in.  It’s a dream of mine.  My dresser drawers do not function as drawers, but rather baskets that stack on top of each other.  Except for one-the one that has been fixed.  There are five more.  Waiting…  Waiting to be fixed.

7)  Unlimited ITunes downloads (or access to your CD collection so I can steal music from you, which is much cheaper)-Music is my thang, yo!  I have quite a collection of ditties all on one IPOD nano. I’m just getting warmed up.  There is so much I want, yet so little that I can afford.

8)  Clothes Shopping Spree-Realize that a shopping spree for you may be waaaay different than a shopping spree for me.  I shop at Goodwill, consignment shops, and clearance racks.  This may very well be the cheapest shopping spree ever.  The catch?  You have to watch my kids.

9)  Unlimited Time To Peruse Scrapbook Stores Plus Store Credit– I always get slapped with a time limit and  mocked when I go to these places.  An ADD person let loose in a scrapbook store may never come out.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Too bad I can’t afford either of them right now. WAAAAAAAH!

10) Replacing the electronic things I keep putting off replacing to save money-A new printhead for my printer, and a memory card with tons of memory for my digital picture frame that does not cause my computer to crash when I attempt to add new images to it.  The whole purpose of the digital picture frame is to be able to ADD pictures to it, am I right?  My daughter hasn’t been two for a couple of years now.

11)  KITCHEN THINGS FIXED!!! Now I’m really stretching it (like I wasn’t before).  As I have shared recently, nothing in my kitchen really works right.  Last night I was trying to do the thing I hate most-DISHES of course.  I had the little sink plunger I had bought and was furiously plunging the sink I was rinsing dishes in because it backed up every time I ran water into it.  This is because my garbage disposal DOES NOT WORK.  Nor does my dishwasher.  You also take your life into your own hands every time you open my fridge because you just never know what’s going to come out of it at you.  That’s because there are multiple broken shelves and drawers in there.  Yeah, I could really use some appliance love right now.

That’s really, really nice. Now fix my dishwasher.

12) BLOG UPGRADE!  I got to thinking about this after I initially published it. Thought I’d throw it in here.  I’d love to be able to have my own domain and all of that fun stuff that you have to pay *GASP* money for.  I could do a whole lot more with more features and could customize it the way I wanted, not to mention would have unlimited space for images!   Just a thought.  Hint, hint.

That really IS it.  What would you ask for on your ultimate Christmas list?  I’ve seen some others around and I’m seeing some great ideas!  If you made your own list on your blog already I’d love for you to send me the link so I can read it too!

TSBWG Exclusive Guide to Getting Ready for the Holidays

Some Christmas trees will just stand there and stare at you if you don’t decorate them in a timely manner. This is kind of creepy.

I lied to all of my readers.  I said we always decorate the day after Thanksgiving.  As it turned out, we got busy doing other things and did not get around to it.  However, Saturday morning rolled around and it was obviously time to prepare for another holiday.  Time to decorate!  Princess Christmas made sure that Evil Genius was aware that it was time to set up the tree.  She marched upstairs, went into the bedroom where he had just awakened (because we are very nice to him and let him sleep sometimes) and informed him that he needed to “Go downstairs and get the Christmas!”

In our house there is a certain way that you need to prepare for the upcoming holiday.  It’s very important to follow the steps.  I thought I’d publish this very important guide to getting ready.  You know, just in case you need some guidance.  As you read this, just imagine you’re hearing a little four year old voice saying “Let the Christmas Tree decorating COMMENCE!” (She really did say that…)

 

 

 

1)  Getting Started:  Say the words “Christmas”.  That’s all you have to do.  When you have little kids and you say the word, it causes planets to align and sets everything in to motion.

 

Christmas!

2)  Decide where the tree is going to go this year.  If your house is like ours this changes from year to year.  Make sure that you choose the most inconvenient location in the house.  This year Evil Genius chose to put it in the living room.  This is fine, but we had to move a half dozen pieces of furniture that we don’t have any place for.  That’s ok, do we really need to get out our front door or go into the adjoining room?  Nah.

3) Bring the tree and decorations up out of the basement, or wherever you store them.  Try not to kill yourself doing so.  If you’re one of those people who isn’t deathly allergic to pine like I am (my eyes swell shut and everything) then go chop down a tree.  THEN try not to kill yourself bringing decorations out.

4) Inspect containers for stowaways.  Last year I went down to the basement to get the wreath hanger.  I opened up one of the Christmas containers, and a little mouse peeked out through the Christmas lights at me, as if to say “HEY I’m SLEEPING in here!”  I made my husband go through the container looking for mousies after the fact.  He didn’t find any, but he did throw something small and mouse sized at me and made me FREAK OUT!

It was not this cute.

5)  Restrain the four year old.  Duct tape works well.  If you don’t, every decoration that you own will be taken out and inspected, and then left on the floor.

6)  Put up the tree.  Realize you put it together wrong.  Undo.  Redo correctly.

7)  Put the lights on the tree.  See how many bulbs are burnt out.  Take the lights back off.  Replace with lights that work.  Our lights would not light up on one side.  The Grinch would have had a perfectly good reason to steal our tree.

He could have so taken our tree. Then we fixed it.

8)  Decorate.  We start with “the big necklace” (which normal people refer to as the garland).  Then add the ornaments.  Half will be dropped.  Some will be broken.  There will be yelling.  This year at one point Princess Christmas tried to hang just hooks on the tree.  No ornaments on them.  Because they were there, of course.

This one turned out pretty sweet. The picture, I mean. She’s pretty sweet too sometimes.

9)  Take pictures of the decorating.  Because you can.  I took 57 pictures and had not one shot that I would consider Christmas card material.  Yet.  My children will be forced to pose for at least 28 more times before I let them off the hook.  I AM GOING TO GET GOOD CHRISTMAS CARD PICTURES THIS YEAR IF IT KILLS ME!  I can’t order a card with different shots on it from Target this year.  I can’t afford it.  I must make them myself.

10)  Booby trap the area.  Do this so that no one can actually approach the tree and contaminate it.  Use ornaments, hooks, and decorations.

11) Rearrange The kids do this to the ornaments about every 36 minutes or so.

12) Turn off the overhead lights.   Stand back and admire your tree.  Remember what the room looked like in the light, because for the next month you will not be allowed to turn on any lights in there except for the ones on the tree.  Your children may or may not have vision problems as a direct result of sitting in front of the tree and staring at it.

Ooooooooooooooooooo….

13)  Now, go decorate the rest of the house.  Like that matters!  The tree is up, my kids care about nothing else except that and the stockings!  Spend the rest of the weekend on Pinterest, trying to find ideas to accomplish this feat.  I’m trying to find ideas to make a wreath.  I’m thinking shiny and noisy-jingle bells and Christmas balls.  Stay tuned.

The Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge: Blogs I Visit

I am participating in the Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge sponsored by A Little Unhinged.

13)  Three blogs you visit enthusiastically

Ooooo… this is hard.  Since I’ve started doing more reaching out and participating in more stuff it’s really hard to play favorites.  I don’t want anyone to be upset that I didn’t say that I love their blog.  Truth be known I follow well over 50 blogs!  I follow mainly funny blogs, Mommy blogs, food blogs, and a few others. I really enjoy them all! I’ve thought this over very very carefully.  Here are some I have been reading since before I started really seriously blogging.

1.  Parenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures– This was the first blog I ever read.  I never paid much attention to blogs before that.  It was the Target post that a friend shared on her wall on Facebook that got me started (any time I refer to the hypnotic eye, that’s what I’m talking about!).  After seeing this post I sat down and read THE ENTIRE BLOG.  I laughed and laughed, and have followed religiously ever since.  This blog got me started blogging.  I love how she tells her stories. I have a lot of stories to tell!

See? Funny?

2.  Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva-OMG!  This is a seriously funny blog.  Love it love it love it!

Some families have an Elf On A Shelf. She has a Troll in the Hole!

3.  (A Tie) 100 Days of Real Food and Super Healthy Kids– I consult these blogs almost constantly for ideas. I’m not saying I follow a lot of them, but I try.  100 Days focuses on living on food that is unprocessed.  She has a lot of great ideas that we use in our recipes.  The whole wheat biscuit recipe in there is awesome!  Super Healthy Kids focuses on making food that is fun and healthy, and how to get the most nutrition out of different recipes.  I have a list of things that I want to try this next month.

What kid wouldn’t want to eat these cuties? Oh yeah, my son.

In case you haven’t figured it out, I like funny Mom blogs and healthy food blogs. You’d think that I’d be happier and healthier…

So there are all of those other blogs-I love you, I read your posts regularly, sometimes I get a little behind but I do try to keep up. You are all special to me and I am going to start making a weekly list of my favorite blog posts, just like another friend of mine does.  It’s nice to recognize everyone who works so hard to get their writing read!

Let the Holidays Commence!

I do.

This is what I’ve been looking forward to-the next few weeks will most likely be an unending stream of idea diarrhea.  The stuff just keeps flowing because I love the holidays. Christmas is one of my very favorite times of the year.  Despite all of the poopy stuff we have going on (SHINY PENNIES FOR CHRISTMAS!  SHINY PENNIES FOR CHRISTMAS!) I am determined I am going to delight in the things that I love most for the next month.  Here are all of the reasons why I love this time of year so much.

1)  Excuses to watch my favorite movies.  What honey?  You said you want to see “ELF”?  Well let me pop it in.  No movie makes me smile as much as that one.

There is nothing funnier than this…

2)  CHRISTMAS MUSIC!  I like the older music.  I’m not a big fan of most of the newer stuff.  My parents had the original Time Life Christmas records.  The best music ever.  I thought I had found it on CD a few years back, but it wasn’t the same.  I’m still looking for the recording of Jack Jones singing “Do You Hear What I Hear?”  Can’t find it anywhere!  I love Handel’s Messiah, and of course I couldn’t be a band geek without mentioning Sleigh Ride.  I have a story about that, you’ll hear it later this month.

3)  Christmas lights They are even supposed to be up and lit this time of year!  It’s so much fun to drive around and see all of the different displays people have in their yards and on their houses.  We never decorate the outside of our house, so it’s especially fun to see what others have come up with.

I must admit I’ve never seen anything like this yet!

4)  The goodies.  I’m not going to lie and say that I won’t worry about how much I’m consuming, because I will.  But when else do you get to eat so many homemade goodies.  I hope to make some this year.  I want to try to make the big pretzels dipped in chocolate.  YUM!

I’ve never made these. Maybe I should!

5)  Wrapping paper.  I love beautiful wrapping paper adorned with ribbon and bows.  One year I used wide gauzy ribbon to wrap all the packages for the growm-ups.  I just love the way they look under the tree.  I may be wrapping empty boxes this year but dammit they will be pretty!!!!

Not pretty, but quite useful.

6)  Creative decorations. Oh darn, I have to spend lots of time on Pinterest finding ideas for decorating.  Breaks my heart.  This year I’m looking for ideas for a new wreath.  Ours was looking pretty shabby last year.  I’m thinking jingle bells and ball ornaments.  We’ll see what I come up with!

Hmmmmm…

7)  The Wonder of It All.  My kids are at very fun ages.  It’s all so magical to them.  I know that they are most concerned about what they are getting on the big day, but they are so excited about everything.  The next few weeks we will see time and time again what we refer to in my family as “The Christmas Eyes”.  I will find pictures of my sister and I with our Christmas eyes on, and will post them.  I see these on my kids every year.

See? Christmas eyes!

So keep an eye out for all of my crazy posts.  I have drafts galore lined up for the next few days!  To paraphrase my daughter:  “Let the holidays COMMENCE!”

The Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge: The Top Posts

I’m doing the Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge sponsored by A Little Unhinged.

12. Your top 5 posts and why you think they were successful.

Hmmmmm… Ummmmmmm…. Uhhhhhhhhhhh….

Ok, I’ve got this:

1)   The one that started it all-Does This Look Infected To You?

The dog didn’t get shingles, my husband did.

My husband went on a business trip and came home with shingles.  It practically wrote itself.  And it was all downhill from that one.

2)  The one that almost didn’t get published-Indiana Jones and the Evil Couch of Doom (aka Crap I Found In My Couch)

Is it an eeeeevil couch?

A poem I wrote one day after cleaning. I deleted it, but then rescued it from the trash.  My husband shared it with his coworkers and they actually liked it!

3)  The one that made people either laugh or say HUH?-The Sadder But Wiser Girl, Poop Detective

“I’ve got something in my diaper and it’s not a toaster.”

Trying to laugh about rejection, I started thinking of jobs that I KNOW I could do.  Hence the very strange but definitely unique blog post.  And also one of the most visited on my blog, shockingly enough.

4)  One of my personal favorites-Yo, P.E.E.P.s and P.O.O.P.s! A Support Group That Doesn’t Exist That Really Should

Wonder what this group’s name would be?

This one bounced around in my head for a long time before coming to fruition.  I’m glad I finally got it all out of there.

5)  The one that I think I am most proud of-Lessons From Kids:  Life Is Short, Play Naked

Honorable mentions:

The Five Stages of Dishes, From Procrastination to Exasperation

The Recessive Gene:  My Pool Needs A Lifeguard

A little DNA humor for you.

If Unicorns Fart Glitter and Poop Rainbows, Where Does Glitter Glue Come From?

Post Apocalyptic Hello Kitty and Grandpa Snake…Adventures in Imagination

Grandpa Snake is caught in many compromising positions.

Whoever Has The Brain Today Please Stand Up:  When ADD People Marry Each Other