Living With An Evil Genius (or Two)

There seems to be two of them in my house. It makes life interesting.

Living with an Evil Genius means that life is more interesting in our house.  Well, ok I take that back, it can be boring at times.  Like when football is on and he’s on the computer trying to figure out how to put a waterslide in his office.  Or doing research on how he can convert the old satellite dish into some sort of super antenna so he can get all kinds of TV stations out in the garage. (It’s the research stage-that’s not so interesting compared to the outcome).  Or when he’s playing the Sims 3 on his computer-he doesn’t understand why I don’t get into those games.   Come on, I spend so much of my time trying to get the REAL people in my life to do what I want.  WHY on earth would I get on my computer to tell fake people what I want them to do?  This one is a little better than most, and he’s interested because he can create Evil Sims.  Though I will say if nothing else, though, his latest obsession with a game has produced some very interesting things being uttered in our house:

“Gee, I wish I could find someone who’d have kids with me.”

“I’m so glad she died, she wouldn’t play chess with me.”

“I’m dating a crazy chick.  I proposed to her like twelve times and she still wouldn’t say ‘yes’.

“Is this guy dead yet?” (He had a character that lived to be almost 120.  That was weird).

“I have triplets!”

Add to that the little brainstorms that go in his head that just come tumbling out.  The latest one went sort of like this:

Evil Genius:  “You know what I should get out?”

Me (Very afraid):  “What?”

Evil Genius:  “My domino rally set.  The kids would love it.”

What followed was two hours of footage of dominoes toppling playing on his laptop, with two sets of eyes right behind him.  I should have taken a picture of it-Princess Imagination’s eyes were bugging out of her head and The Professor couldn’t stop jumping up and down and dancing to the music that accompanied it.  What he loved best was the sound of the dominoes falling.  I have to agree with this, it reminds me of a rainstick.

We have the domino rally set up in our game room.  It kept the kids interested for a little while.  Most of the evening the previous night, and about 10 minutes today.  My only complaint about this is that it takes them FOREVER to clean it up.

I have to pat myself on the back a little bit for having a little bit of genius in myself.  When we were at the library a few weeks back I spied The Lego Idea Book on the shelf.  We checked it out and brought it home.  My kids are lego nuts-so this was a hit.  The next week The Professor put his first book on hold, The Lego Batman Visual Dictionary.  He was quite pleased when he was able to pick it up.  However, he has barely put it down.  AND this particular one wasn’t quite as cool as the other one, because I really feel it more is just an advertisement for batman legos.

However I must be ok with this, because the next week I went back and spied the Star Wars Lego Visual Dictionary on the shelf by the bathroom and picked that up, as well as another one.  My son has barely put them down, and now we hear many lego random facts all day long, such as what goes in what set and what versions are from what year.  He is the only child I know who can look at a picture of a lego set and know what year it’s from.  He informed me that the lego ewok set that I found in the basement is the 2002 edition, and that his clone trooper mask is the phase 1 mask.  I probably have heard well over a thousand facts about legos in that little monotone voice of his.  The little stinker keeps reading over my shoulder as I write and has been correcting my facts on here…

The Professor showing me some of the cool stuff in the “Lego Star Wars Visual Dictionary”.

While all of this is fine and dandy, I wish the geniuses would put their heads together and solve some of my first world problems I have going on here:

How to find and extract dead rodents from our heating system and/or walls.  I looked, there’s nothing dead in the furnace itself, but it stinks like nobody’s business somewhere around our upstairs.  I really have to put a scent in our Scentsy burner that compliments the rotting dead rodent smell.  Yummy.

Why no matter how close to hamper these males in my house are, their socks can’t seem to make it in there.  I find their socks everywhere in the house-inside the couch, on the floor next to the shower, next to the bed, shoved under the chair, in the gameroom…

Explore how we can fix the annoying things in the kitchen, like the trim that won’t stay on the pantry shelves no matter how many nails you put in it, and the sink with the dead garbage disposal that won’t drain right,  or ways to raise the table up so I don’t suffer from back problems every time I have to bend way over to chop something up on it.  Incidentally, I found a temporary fix to the drain problem-I bought a sink plunger at Walmart.

Yeah, we got problems right here in River City.  But like most Evil Geniuses, they consider these small potatoes compared to figuring out solutions to bigger issues like how to turn our stairway into a giant slide or how to install a zipline in the backyard…  Ah yes, like I said, having him around certainly keeps things interesting.

Invasion warning:  Be prepared, I understand that he would like to write a rebuttal to this post after I publish it. 

11 thoughts on “Living With An Evil Genius (or Two)

  1. Oh honey, I hear ya. No rebuttal could stand in the way of your brilliant servitude. Hang in there. I hear one day aliens will come take over and none of this will really matter in yhe first place…

  2. When they do figure out the furnace/dead mouse thing or when you figure out a scent that compliments it, let me know. I’ll pay!

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