Last Call: The Final Week in a Nutshell of 2012

I’ll be the first to admit I’m way, way behind on my reading.  I haven’t been reading other folk’s blogs like I usually do, because this is such a busy time!  Today is my Dad’s birthday and tomorrow is New Years Eve.  So I promise, I’ll be brief.  Because I’ve got stuff to do and places to go.  Well maybe nowhere to go but I certainly have things to do!

Sooo…just in case you were extremely busy like many of us were this past week, here is the week in review.

a-charlie-brown-christmasSunday  I took a good hard look (er, listen) at holiday music and picked my favorite versions and the songs that make me want to run for the hills.  Holiday Music:  The Great Ones and the Really Annoying (In My Unprofessional Opinion)


Monday I take a moment to remember why we celebrate Christmas.  The Hokey Pokey Is NOT What It’s All About

The kids on Christmas morning.

Wednesday A summary of my Christmas.  Elvis was there.  Wrapping Up Christmas





new-years-resolutions-cats-treadmill-exerciseThursday I tried out a new prompt-Theme Thursday over at Something Clever 2.0.  The theme was New Years Resolutions, which I actually don’t make. New Years Resolutions or Lack Thereof.



He probably reads my blog.  Must be a Chad Knaus fan.

Friday I looked back over some of the stuff I actually learned this year.  After I published this, I found the original list I made.  Much better than what I actually wrote down.  What I Learned in 2012:  An Introvert’s Introspective Retrospective



bats n miceSaturday was a reblog.  Shockingly, I didn’t seem to lose any followers over it.  Read here to find out why I don’t eat chocolate sprinkles.  The Scoop on the Poop:  Why I Don’t Eat Chocolate Sprinkles and Other Revelations.




I don’t have a list of favorite blog posts this week, though I assure you there were MANY great ones this week.  I’m just waaaaay behind on my reading.  Please refer to my little list here in the right hand column of all the great blogs I follow.  Each one of them is special to me for a good reason. Which reminds me, I really need to add a few blogs to it!

Coming tomorrow, the best of 2012.  If you made my list, you could be the recipient of a beautiful handmade award!  My daughter, however, does not take requests, she just creates.  Future independent artist, she is.

Her creations will be much better than the "Geller Cup".

Her creations will be much better than the “Geller Cup”.

REBLOG: The Scoop on the Poop: Why I Won’t Eat Chocolate Sprinkles and Other Revelations

Another oldie but goodie…

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

I’m afraid that people are going to think I am obsessed with poop and toilets.  I’m not, but it is quite a big subject at our house.

It’s getting cooler out.  Therefore I have to start dealing with something I haven’t had to deal with for awhile.  You see, I won’t eat chocolate sprinkles.  And there’s a big reason for that… chocolate sprinkles look remarkably like mouse poop.

Our house is 112 years old. We live in front of a cornfield.  Therefore, when the weather starts to turn cold we have many unwelcome guests.  They are really cute guests, but quite unwelcome.  They get into lots of places we don’t want them and either chew something of value up and eat our food.  They poop.  They poop a lot.

Believe me, we have tried many different things to try to keep the little buggers out of our house.  I’ve shoved…

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What I Learned in 2012: An Introverts Introspective Retrospective


Hey it’s almost 2013!  Did you know I actually LEARNED stuff this year?  I honestly can say this year was an extremely valuable learning experience!  I’m gritting my teeth and grinning like an idiot as I say this, because some of the lessons weren’t so fun.  And they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.  They are wrong.

1)  Never ever use the following words in your blog, lest ye have weirdos, pervs, and pornographic spam:  Penis, naked, sparkly boobs, poop, pee, Chad Knaus.  The others make sense, not so sure about the last one.  On a related note, any time I want a laugh, I just go look at the search engine terms that people used to find my blog.  Which ones were the best, well that’s another post (in other words, stay tuned)!

He probably reads my blog.  Must be a Chad Knaus fan.

He probably reads my blog. Must be a Chad Knaus fan.

2)  You can pour your heart and soul into a job, but in the end it don’t mean a thing.  Especially if it ain’t got that swing.  (Doo-wop doo-wop doo-wop…) We love you and all, but your position is being taken over by a taco.  It happened to me.  And I’m learning it’s not the end of the world.


3)  You can lead a man to underwear, but you can’t make him find it.  Ok, so I was a LITTLE behind on the laundry, but I did manage to get a couple of pairs clean.  I then laid out some of the clean clothes.  I even made SIGNS!


Some guys just don’t pay any attention!

4)  Twitter is where it’s at.  Mainly because Facebook is a total douche for the blogging population.  Pay for people to see my posts?  No thanks.


Why cats don’t use social media.

5)  Need friends?  Blog.  The ladies I have met in the blogging universe are the most wonderful, supportive community one could ever ask to be a part of.  I get all verklempt just thinking about it.  There are too many to name, but you know who you are!

What would we do without the internets?

What would we do without the internets?

6)  Underwear and butt are the funniest words in the universe. At least in my house.  Knock knock!  Who’s there?  Underwear! Underwear who?  Underwear Pajama Butt Pants!  Funny stuff, man.

The book the kids had to get for their little cousin for his birthday?  They think it's the funniest book ever.

The book the kids had to get for their little cousin for his birthday? They think it’s the funniest book ever.

7)  Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you need medication.  I probably still need it, I just can’t afford it.  Blogging IS terrific therapy, however.

Crazy ideas, crazy lady.

Crazy ideas, crazy lady.

8)  Four year olds only appreciate chores that have an element of danger to them.  Combined with seven year olds and grumpy genius husbands, ideas for stories on here are always an imminent possibility.


This chore did not have enough danger in it.  We put in her charge of cups, therefore she tried to make us rue the day.  You can see I’m REALLY upset about this.

9) Just like in everyday life, your blog will have ups and downs.  Some days people will make you feel like you’re on top of the world, other days you’re as popular as a booger.  You just have to roll with it, just like in real life.  Oh wait, this IS real life.  Or IS it???



I know I learned more than that, but these were the best and most interesting things I’ve learned this year.  (WHAT? Uninteresting things are in my head?  Believe it or not, I’m afraid so!)  I realize that we still have a handful of days left in 2012, but with it being almost the weekend and then a holiday, I’d rather assume that I’ve learned everything I’m going to learn this year.  Have you learned anything valuable this year?  Feel free to share!


Family. They’re important!  But I already knew that…Isn’t my family good looking?

New Years Resolutions or Lack Thereof

new years cat

My husband and I resolved early in our marriage to never do the same thing twice on New Years Eve.  While Christmas and other holidays in our family tend to be somewhat rooted in tradition, we have tried to keep this particular one tradition free.  Later on we expanded it to not making New Years Resolutions.  We used to make them.  One year I recall  putting them on paper in an envelope so that we could see if we actually kept them.  Now that I think about it, I bet we never even found the envelopes.

The idea behind the resolutions is a good one.  The idea of a new year is a fresh start.  Who wouldn’t want to start off with a clean slate?  I myself could really use a fresh start.  In years past when I have attempted said resolutions, the year got underway and by February those resolutions went by the wayside.

I’m not changing my mind about it.  It’s not that I don’t plan on making some changes.  Rather than resolutions I have instead set some goals.  Is that the same thing?  Perhaps, but by not calling the resolutions I may be more apt to stick with them.  And these are things that I have already started.  No sense in waiting for a new year to kick in.

Eat Healthier-I’ve been to the edge and back, baby.  With depression comes some crazy comfort food.  But one can only subsist on dark chocolate and sugar for so long.  What I really need is a spell.  I need to go all Harry Potter and somehow cast a spell upon myself that the health food I once consumed regularly is the best thing for me.  This week I have consumed more vegetables.  I always eat whole grains, that is a no brainer.  But this love affair with sweeteners both natural and artificial has to be put to a stop.  More veggies, more fresh fruit, less diet pop, less junk.  Consuming less of everything-it should be simple, right?

you are what you eat

Move-As in getting moving, not as in moving to another town (though that would be nice).  Fatigue, cold weather, frustration with schedules, complaining children, and an uncooperative canine has made this not a priority to me.  I don’t have to do this to excess, simply getting back into walking some every day would be peachy.  I’ve done some yoga the last two days.  I’ve attempted to lift weights.  Last night my husband walked in the door and I walked out-not because I hate him, but because I needed to take a walk alone.  It’s less about losing the coffee cake top, more about just taking care of moi.


Attitude-The longer I’m unemployed, the more “losery” I feel.  Supposedly the state I live in has a great unemployment rate-and them proclaiming this just makes me feel that much worse.  Thanks, so glad everyone else is finding a job.  I have a feeling those numbers are greatly skewed.  I need to snap out of it and try to just feel better.  Whether or not I have a job shouldn’t define who I am.  What I do as a mom and wife should be more important.  I know, it’s all about that damn forest through the trees!  It’s hard to feel good when you’ve sent out over a hundred job applications and have had one interview, and then they took over a month to get back to you in an email.  For a cashier job.  At Lowes.

Honestly, is finding a part time job going to make me happy?  No, but being financially secure would be nice.  Can I make a job fall out of the sky?  No.  But I can try to control my attitude about it.  Take care of myself (you know, like showering and stuff).  Embrace the free time.  Appreciate what I have.  Play more with my kids.  Write more.  All the stuff I should have been doing all along.

inner demons

So that’s what I’m working on, even if I don’t call them resolutions.  Be sure to laugh at me six months from now.

I’ve seen several alternatives to making resolutions online.  My favorite is a jar with little slips of paper.  Every time you find something good, write it down on a slip of paper and put it in the jar.  At the end of the year, wouldn’t that be great to open up and read all of the good things that happened? This of course would require effort and thinking on my part.  So it’s probably not going to happen…

I’ll wrap this up with my husband’s whole take on the resolution thing.  I know he wants to try to get back into shape as well, but I’m not sure if he’s really calling it a resolution.  We were talking about me writing this post last night.  He said “My resolution is to have a good looking wife and two kids and a dog.”  Hey, he called me good looking.  I’m willing to support that.

This post was written in part because I am a follower and want to be liked, or something like that.  Actually, I wanted to start participating in Theme Thursday over on Something Clever 2.0.  Jenn was nice enough to actually write about my blog this week.  She even was kind enough to point out how much I use poop and pee in my posts.  Please come on over there and read what other folks have to say on the matter, or other matters, and read Jenn’s blog too.  It’s a win win, no matter what you do.  Good stuff, Maynard.

Wrapping Up Christmas: Illness, Elvis, Sparkly Chests, Draco, Giant Hams, and Toothpaste in My Eye

The kids on Christmas morning.

The kids on Christmas morning.

Do you do pretty much the same thing every Christmas?  Do you throw caution to the wind and do something different EVERY YEAR?

At the rate we are going, we are easily going to become tradition rebels.  Last year we decided to change up tradition, due to my husband’s graduation from Engineering School the week before Christmas and the fact that every single Christmas my son starts throwing up (true story).  So instead of splitting it up over two days, we did some of Christmas that weekend, and then on Christmas Eve we went to my parent’s house.  It worked-there was no puking of any kind.  Isn’t that nice?

THIS year we had an almost twelve days of Christmas.  Eleven days is close enough, right? Actually it was just a few days all spread out, but it’s easier to say eleven days instead of one here and then one there… It started with a cold.  A really bad cold, and ended with a clogged sink and toothpaste in my eye.

I think I’ve already beat the early Christmas story to death, so I’ll be brief.  The first day of Christmas my two kids and  me saw Elvis and my family (keep twisting the syllables and eventually you’ll get it to fit.  Trust me.)  Really, I have a relative who does a pretty great Elvis, and was the entertainment at my aunt and uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary.  The cold was the one I had (and still have a little bit) and the one that Evil Genius was dying from and ended up staying home with nice warm animals.  I can’t say that I blamed him, I had been at that same point two days prior and if I thought I had the chance to stay in bed and veg I gladly would have.  But I’m the Mom, that doesn’t happen.

While we were there we obviously got the much needed family time, ate some great food, and exchanged gifts.   I received a wonderfully warm soft purple Old Navy hoodie that unfortunately was covered with sequins (apparently this was not mentioned in the online item description).  Sequins and I do not agree-especially where they were located.  That area is big enough, let’s not turn it into a “Look at my Chest” billboard.  My Mom spent quite a long time removing them.  I don’t know if “de-sequin” is a word, but it definitely applied to what had to be done!  It is now sequin free and quite nice.  Princess Christmas got to keep the pretty sparklies.  As long as she doesn’t use them to adorn her own chest I am good with that.

Later on in the week:  Behold, A blizzard!  A blizzard lovingly dubbed “Draco” by the weather community made its way to our neck of the woods midweek.  We left for our church choir Christmas party with a little snow on the ground and a couple of hours later were sliding around in tons of snow coming home.  It was definitely worth venturing out for the chicken sandwiches and apple cider.  By morning our state was pretty much at a standstill, and continued to be for the next days.  It turned out that “Draco” (being a Harry Potter fan, I really loved the name) was the worst blizzard in more than a decade.

This obviously shut down my son’s school for the last two days before Christmas break, as well as my husband’s work for one of those days.  A lot of Christmas goodies got eaten that probably shouldn’t have.  Oh yes, I finally got the pretzels tried again and while they weren’t pretty, they were very good.  It didn’t make a very big batch, so we put a few in the teacher gifts, and we ate the rest.  If you missed the tales of the Christmas baking wins and fails read The ADD Kitchen Chapter 2: Cooking Calamities and Delicious Evil Lurks in the Downstairs Freezer

White chocolate peppermint pretzels

White chocolate peppermint pretzels

Christmas Eve Eve Eve (Saturday):  I was nearly done cleaning the house when the announcement came that my in-laws would in fact not be joining us due to the roads.  So we quit cleaning and we went to spend the day in town.  Then that evening we got the call that they WERE going to come after all.  At seven at night.  At least my house was already clean.

They brought both kids a set of lego type blocks called “Laser Pegs”, which are basically clear legos that light up.  They are REALLY neat, but chew on this for a minute- legos hurt pretty bad when you step on them.  At least if the lego is visible you have a fighting chance to avoid them.  Ouch, ouch, OUCH!  However, despite the ouchiness they have kept the kids very entertained.

Christmas Eve:  I spent an inordinate amount of time wandering through stores buying socks and ingredients to make a buffalo chicken dip.  We missed the church service.  We almost forgot cream cheese in our dip.  The potato soup was cooked too long.  But we DID have some yummy hot chocolate, and I tried hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps for the first time.  Fantastic!  I was toasty warm.

Christmas Day:  It was good.  Quiet, but good.  The kids opened the remainder of their presents, which wasn’t much.  I am very satisfied that a used Lite Brite that cost around a dollar has given them many hours of entertainment.  Princess Christmas was more than thrilled with her box of many princesses, the Professor has been ecstatic about the fact that we found him almost all of the Avengers action figures. All of the presents they have received over the course of the 11 Day Christmas are still being played with an appreciated. Even Evil Genius has been playing with the kids presents. The Professor was given a remote controlled helicopter by my in-laws, which was actually really a present for Evil Genius.  It has been flying around the house pretty frequently, even after the children were in bed for the night.  Both animals are absolutely terrified of it.  The cat stays hidden (more than usual) and if the dog could crawl in my pocket he would.

Unwrapping gifts on Christmas Day.

Unwrapping gifts on Christmas Day.

Christmas dinner was a ham.  A giant prepackaged precooked Farmland ham.  It’s not that we don’t have taste, it’s just that I didn’t want to do another turkey so soon, and the idea of paying anywhere between thirty and fifty dollars for a piece of meat made me physically ill.  So instead we paid $10.53 for that.  It was good.  I foresee us getting very sick of ham leftovers here in the near future.

And just like every year, when it’s all over and the kids go to bed, I have what I can only describe as “Post-Christmas Letdown”.  I’m not sure what exactly it is, but I just feel a little sad.  Maybe it was the fact that we didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time with family this year.  Maybe it was the cookies that got made but never frosted.  Or the Christmas dinner that didn’t have a whole lot to it other than one giant ham and green bean casserole.  Or that my husband had to return to work the next day and go back to being grumpy and semi conscious.  Or perhaps this time it was the fact that we rented an Adam Sandler movie.  Every time we rent one, I’m just disappointed. Why I put as much faith as I do in Mr Sandler, I’ll never know.  You think I’d learn, after all we have a “No Kevin James Movie” rule now at our house.  If he has anything to do with a movie, it goes to the “No Watch” list.  Which is sad, because I love Kevin James and his standup.  I just hate his movies.  Except I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, that movie was actually ok.  Now that I think about it, Adam Sandler was in that one too.  Maybe it’s a sign.

After the movie, my Christmas ended with me trying to brush my teeth and someone managing to flick minty toothpaste into my left eye.  By the way, that hurts like crazy, not to mention the burning makes it very difficult to sleep.  At least it was mint toothpaste, kind of a sign that the holiday was OVER.  Back to reality.

The reality, pets that dislike each other.  At least they're on the same piece of furniture!

The reality, pets that dislike each other. At least they’re on the same piece of furniture!

Thanks for being patient with me.  I was almost in tears over not having good internet access for almost a week.  My browser would run fine for a few minutes, and then lock up for 15 minutes or so.  Often it would end up in my just either restarting or saying to hell with it and shutting down the computer.  I uninstalled a million things and messed with a million more, only to find out that I had the wrong version of Java.  Due to this pretty much everything has been real short and sweet, and not up to my usual overdone and edited a few hundred times before publishing.  This being said, I hope to get back to the good stuff here…

The Hokey Pokey Is Not What It’s All About

Where have I been?  I’ve been plagued with computer issues the last 24 hours or so.  I’m not doing well on delivering any posts due to that, Evil Genius being off of work for four days and actually wanting to be around people, and all of that last minute stuff that comes along with Christmas. Since it’s getting too late to finish and share my “Alternative Christmas Movies” post, I’m thinking I need to just move on to something else.

After wandering around for quite a while today trying to figure out what the heck was going in the kids’ stocking this year without blowing much money, I settled on socks.  They NEED socks, and what better to put in a stocking than socks?  And M&Ms candy canes-when I was a kid that was always the coolest thing to get!  And I’m still worrying about trying to even up the presents, and that I got nothing for my husband or the dog or the cat.  I had to stop and think for a minute before I drove myself crazy, that is NOT what it is all about!


star trek mind meld

(My apologies-I can’t ever think of the word remember without a Wrath of Khan reference.)

What it’s all about…

hokey pokey

Not that…this…

what christmas is all about

Have a Merry Christmas everyone!

Just like the Terminator, I’ll be back (the day after Christmas).

Holiday Music: The Great Ones and the Really Annoying (In My Unprofessional Opinion)


When I was little my parents had the Time-Life Christmas collection on records.  I grew up listening to this collection!  In an effort to recreate my childhood, I’ve been looking for the songs on CDs.  Some I’ve been able to find, others I can’t find anywhere!

Thanks to being able to stream Pandora, we’ve been listening to a lot of Christmas music here at our house.  That has been really nice to hear some of our favorites but also hear some new ones.  I’m not real thrilled with the selection from our local radio station. Keep in mind that I have a hard time adjusting to new versions of my favorites, but over the years there are some that I have grown to like.  Not to mention, my tastes are rather eclectic due to being a musician.  Here are some of the favorites at our house.

Christmastime Is Here-The Vince Guaraldi Trio.  Child of the 80s here.  If you read my 80s Child post, you know why I like this.  It’s not Christmastime until I hear this song and the next one.

It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas-Bing Crosby.  This one really takes me back.   I want to write a modern day version of this. Ipads instead of dolls that can talk and go for a walk?  😉

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year-Andy Williams.  Oh yeah this one also signals the start of the Christmas season.  It could have been the back to school Staples commercial that sealed the deal for me.

O Holy Night-Josh Groban.  Did I mention I have a crush on his voice?

Twas the Night Before Christmas-Fred Waring and His Pennsylvanians.  I did this in college, and to this day it remains one of my very favorites.  It’s a choral retelling of the story.  It is very, very good.  If you listen to it, it will get stuck in your head.

Mary Did You Know-Kenny Rogers.  This is so pretty.  My husband and I did this as a duet in church this weekend.

For Unto Us A Child Is Born-Georg Friedrich Handel.  The first of two on here.  Anyone who is a fan of The Messiah will know why this song is so cool!

Peace on Earth/The Little Drummer Boy-David Bowie/Bing Crosby.  Talk about an odd pairing, but the combination of voices works.

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)-Darlene Love.  This song plays at the beginning of Gremlins.  Don’t ask me why I know this…

I’ll Be Home for Christmas-Rascal Flatts.  This a capella version is so pretty.  I’ve never been a huge fan, but for some reason this group is growing on me.

Welcome Christmas-The Who Village Choir.  I was ecstatic to find this one on ITunes a while back.  I’m an 80s kid, I love it.

Christmas/Sarajevo 12/24-Trans-Siberian Orchestra.  I won’t lie when I say that I love a lot of alternative music.  The first time I ever heard this group, it absolutely blew me away!  There’s nothing like hard rock played on orchestral instruments coupled with electric guitars.

The Hannakah Song-Adam Sandler.  Ok, I’m not Jewish, but I love this song.  It’s probably the only funny song I like.

O Come, O Come Emmanuel-Enya.  This is so hauntingly beautiful.  I am a huge fan of Enya.  I have every one of her CDs.

All I Want For Christmas-Mariah Carey.  My husband would kill me if he knew I put this on the list.  I just love this version, and I don’t know why!

The Hallelujah Chorus-Georg Friedrich Handel.  Handel is the man.  And I never hear this without chills.  I have performed this many, many times.  And it keeps getting better every time I do it!

And then there’s stuff that may make me change the station or run screaming into the cornfield behind my house.  Please don’t hate me because I hate these songs:

Santa Baby-I HATE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!

Michael Buble– Why this guy annoys the pee out of me, I don’t know.

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer-Please.  Enough is enough.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus-Especially the John Mellencamp version.  Go dance naked, John, and leave Santa and Mommy out of this.

Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime-Sorry Paul.  I just hate this song.  It may have been all those Christmases working at Kmart and having to hear it over and over and over…

Father Christmas-The Kinks.  I believe it’s the same as the aforementioned Paul McCartney song.  Bleh.

Jingle Bells-performed by barking dogs.  And my kids loooooove this one.  The commercial with the different animals is cute, but not the song.

Do you have very favorite versions of Christmas songs?  Are there ones that make your ears bleed?  I’d love to hear what you love (And hate).


End of the Week Holiday Spectacular: Wrapped Up and Delivered With a Big Bow


Well it’s the weekend and we are all still here.  Happy Non Apocalypse Weekend!  Here is a wrap up of the week.

MONDAY-Gift Ideas For Broke Folks, Part I (Maybe)

TUESDAY-Delicious Evil Lurks in the Downstairs Freezer 

WEDNESDAY-Excellently Weird Gifts Just In Time for the Giving

THURSDAY- Ooooooh Those Christmas Eyes!

FRIDAY-This is interesting, two posts in one day with the word “Edition” in them.  Perhaps you should listen to New Edition while reading them?  Limited Edition Cat Butt Christmas Cards and Fly on the Wall-The Holiday Edition 2012

Bestest Stuff of the Week-I mean it!

All of the Fly On The Wall posts-links to all on Friday’s Fly on the Wall-The Holiday Edition 2012

Motherhood Is An Art-Does Christmas Time Make You Feel Like Crying?  🙂

You Know It Happens At Your House Too-Things I Need To Know Before the End of the World

Buzzfeed-26 Moments That Restored Our Faith In Humanity This Year-I dare you to read this without shedding a tear.

I’m not sure what will come out of my head between now and Christmas.  I may have time to post and I may not.  Enjoy your holidays and I’ll see ya when I see ya…


Fly On The Wall-The Holiday Edition 2012

christmas fly

Have you ever thought about what people might think if they saw what goes on behind-the-scenes at your house? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to catch a glimpse of someone else’s daily life? Here’s your chance! Today 12 bloggers are inviting you into their homes to be a fly on the wall.

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on the links below my post for a peek into some other homes:

I’ve often wondered if someone were to ever listen in on the bizarre conversations that take place in our humble abode, they would really wonder about us.  It’s ok because I wonder about us too.  Especially myself, I can’t even seem to type “abode” today.  I keep typing “adobe”.  Anyhoo, I heard about this “Fly on the Wall” thingie and had to take part in it.  It’s a compilation of little bits of things said in our house. 

For those who don’t regularly read my blog:
Evil Genius is my hard working, very tired engineer husband.
The Professor is my
almost eight year old son, like Sheldon Cooper but without the germ phobia.
Princess Whatever We Are Calling Her That Day is my four and half year old daughter who very soon will be ruling the world.
And I am The Sadder But Wiser Girl, unemployed anxious mother, blogger, aspiring writer, and
professional procrastinator.

Yes, be afraid.  Be very afraid.

It’s the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and the princess is ready to decorate.  She marched right upstairs and yelled at her father to “Go downstairs and get the Christmas!!!”  That must have been an order.

The Professor comes running out of his room, a bit alarmed. “Are you ok?” I ask him.
“Yes,” he says breathlessly, and continues to stand there.
“Well what’s going on?” I ask, a little concerned.
“Oh nothing Mom, I was just reading the warnings under the chair in my room.”

We have been wanting to make waffles for awhile.  I usually try to make stuff healthy, so I found a great recipe online.
The Professor is suspicious, of course:  “What’s in it?” he asks, wrinkling up his nose a bit.
“Whole wheat and wheat germ.” I reply.
“Germs?  You’re going to give me GERMS???”

Princess Difficult:  “Mommy is that Ralph the Red-nosed Reindeer?”
Me:  “Rudolph?”
Princess Difficult:  “Who’s that?”

Evil Genius:  “I sure go through a lot of deodorant.  I must have large armpits or something.”

School lunch has been a bit of a struggle for the child who eats nothing.  Often if it’s something that doesn’t get eaten we “recycle” it for another time, like if it’s peanut butter and crackers or a peanut butter sandwich.  The other day I asked The Professor what meal he wanted to eat his sandwich-tomorrow’s lunch, snack, or breakfast.  “BREAKFAST?  You can eat peanut butter for BREAKFAST?” he asked incredulously.

Princess Difficult:  “A damanshen is a big house that people live in.”

Princess Difficult:  “Mommy what are you doing?  Oh, you’re bunning.”
Me:  “What’s bunning?”
Princess “It means you’re putting something on a plate.”

Evil Genius to kids:  “You need to use elbow grease to clean the table.”*Silence and strange looks from the kids*
“Do you know what elbow grease is?”
The Professor “It’s stuff that comes out of your elbow.”

We’re drinking hot chocolate.  I take a sip and burn my tongue a little on it.
My daughter reacts:  “Oh no Mommy, you had a HOT ATTACK!”  😀

The Professor:  “Why is your underwear in my laundry?”
Evil Genius:  “Why is your laundry in my underwear?”

Princess “If I got eaten by a shark, I would miss my Mommy.”
Professor: “No, you’d be dead.”

We went to leave the nursing home where my aunt is staying.  My uncle followed us out, and commented on the fact that I must have entered the door code correctly.  “I don’t hear any bells and whistles!”
The Professor ducked and yelled “Missiles?  What missiles?”
First I told he said ‘whistles’ not ‘missiles’.  I then had to spend a little bit explaining that they don’t shoot missiles at people who try to leave the home.

Princess Difficult:  “Let the decorating COMMENCE!”
The Professor: “What does commence mean?”
Princess Difficult:  “It means BEGIN!”

Me:  “We need ugly Christmas sweaters.”
Evil Genius:  “OK, but only if mine lights up.”

Princess Difficult, upon pulling up at the Animal Rescue League, “Oh good, maybe we can adopt a reindeer.”

Princess Difficult:  “Can you open these window markers for me?”
Me:  “No, we’re not using those today.”
A minute later I see her going upstairs carrying the markers.
“Where are you going with those?” I ask.
“I’m taking them upstairs to think about them.”

Direct orders given recently at our house:
“Quit licking the spider!”
“Don’t punch the Christmas tree.”
“Don’t lick her head.”

We got about a foot of snow and blizzard conditions as well as very cold wind chills here this week.  Princess Christmas doesn’t remember snow that actually sticks around.  She kept checking outside every few minutes.  “Yep, the snow is still there!”

Scared yet?

Peace and goodwill to all this holiday season.

Peace and goodwill to all this holiday season.

Please check out these other blogs to see what the flies hear in their house!!!!

Limited Edition Cat Butt Christmas Cards

We've done a few, but we have many cards to go...

We’ve done a few, but we have many cards to go…

A picture is worth a thousand words, and since my son has been little, I have started making picture Christmas cards.  The first year it was simply a photo on nice Christmas cardstock with a little message in it.  Since then I’ve gotten a bit more elaborate, even shelling out the dough for the store bought ones you do online.

This year we’re going back to basics.  Princess Artistic is EXTREMELY interested in making cards for everyone, and since we are buried in a blizzard I figured this would be a prime opportunity for her to do just that.  And with her brother home to help this made it even better.  I figure at this point it’s pretty hopeless to get all of that done in time.  They will get there when they get there, and that’s ok.

Fortunately in the past I have way over bought on the card making supplies, and have inherited some as well through some relatives.  I took down the big box of cards from the shelf, dug out all of the Christmas stickers, punches, stamps, and Christmas colored ink and paints.  I let them create with some supervision.  They look pretty nice!  We have many more to make, though.

We’ve done some card making before.  We’ve always sent the photo cards in the mail and sometimes make homemade ones for people we see often (in other words, they already know what my kids look like.)  One year my cat even tried to get into the whole Christmas card making thing.  One year my son wanted to make cards for everyone at school, from the principal to the lunch ladies (and we all know with what they put up with, they deserve them most of all).  I gathered Christmas shaped sponges, Christmas colored paint, construction paper, and glitter.  He sat and stamped for quite awhile.  Once done we proudly laid them out to dry in the game room.  Not even five minutes after we finished the cat decided that the cards would be an excellent place-for him to sit on.  He proudly turned the sparkly green Christmas tree prints into sparkly green cat butt prints.  He had a green sparkly butt for a bit after that, and we ended up making different cards to replace the three that he sat upon.  Now that he is gone, I kind of wish I had saved those butt print cards!

Ah sweet kitty, he was always willing to lend a hand, or rather a butt.

Ah sweet kitty, he was always willing to lend a hand, or rather a butt.