Previous Terrible Attempts at Humorous Poetry (And it Does Have A Christmas Reference in it)

I used to do poetry on my blog, and the results were somewhat terrible but also a little humorous.  I’ve had this fresh in my mind because I have been trying to enter the Twelve Days of Haiku contest over on Ninja Mom.  You basically try to modernize “The Twelve Days of Christmas” in Haiku form.  Here I thought if I could write a haiku about Taco Time (yes I really did) that I could whip one up in no time flat.  Not so much-the results have been no less than terrible.  However, there have been some really great ones (in other words not mine) submitted, stop by her blog and check them out (in her comments).  And check out her blog too if you haven’t already-she rocks!

If you’ve been following my blog for a long time, you’ve already read this.  In other words it’s sort of a reblog but one that’s much improved.  This is one of my early posts when I barely knew how to use WordPress.  This is one of those posts that drives me CRAZY because the formatting is completely messed up in the original post. I actually sort of figured out how to fix this, which is very exciting!  If this is your first time reading this, I hope you like it-most Moms can relate!

Indiana Jones and The Evil Couch of Doom (AKA Crap I Found In My Couch)

Is it an eeeeevil couch?

Is it an eeeeevil couch?

Instead of going outside to play,
I decided to clean up my house today.
I took the vacuum and to my couch I went,
What a lot of time there I spent!

What to my wondering eyes should appear
Was no miniature sleigh, but three bottlecaps from beer
A treasure trove of things that belong to my kids
Such as seven different markers without any lids.

A miniature conditioner and shampoo,
A DS Game, A Leapster game, a rawhide chew
Black and white polka dotted underwear
Three socks, none of them a matching pair.

Barrettes and rubber bands, a brush for the cat
A blue colored pencil a red lego guy hat
Seven lite Brite pegs, a crayon, some sand
A Lego Luigi who just had one hand

A spoon, a coupon, five pens, some rocks
Cheerios, a lip balm, green bristle blocks
A washrag, granola, Kleenex times four,
Puzzle pieces, stickers, beads, beads galore!

Magnets, a penny, a notebook, a racecar
My what a lot of things there are!
This is the crap I found in my couch
No wonder I always seem like such a grouch!

Dog eating couch!Disclaimer:  No animals have actually been harmed by our couch.

Dog eating couch!
Disclaimer: No animals have actually been harmed by our couch.

6 thoughts on “Previous Terrible Attempts at Humorous Poetry (And it Does Have A Christmas Reference in it)

  1. I don’t have a sofa anymore just for this reason. I have allergies and I have to clean the thing ALL the time… It’s to much I GIVE UP!!!! Congrats on your new found fortune you had stashed in your sofa!!! Great Post!

  2. I love this! My new(ish) couch reclines, so I can pop the footrests up and have easy access to clean the nastiness. I don’t though, and when we have company, the footrests go up and my personal shame is exposed to all.

    Awesome post!

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