Fly On The Wall-The Holiday Edition 2012

christmas fly

Have you ever thought about what people might think if they saw what goes on behind-the-scenes at your house? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to catch a glimpse of someone else’s daily life? Here’s your chance! Today 12 bloggers are inviting you into their homes to be a fly on the wall.

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on the links below my post for a peek into some other homes:

I’ve often wondered if someone were to ever listen in on the bizarre conversations that take place in our humble abode, they would really wonder about us. It’s ok because I wonder about us too. Especially myself, I can’t even seem to type “abode” today. I keep typing “adobe”. Anyhoo, I heard about this “Fly on the Wall” thingie and had to take part in it. It’s a compilation of little bits of things said in our house.

For those who don’t regularly read my blog:
Evil Genius is my hard working, very tired engineer husband.
The Professor is my almost eight year old son, like Sheldon Cooper but without the germ phobia.
Princess Whatever We Are Calling Her That Day is my four and half year old daughter who very soon will be ruling the world.
And I am The Sadder But Wiser Girl, unemployed anxious mother, blogger, aspiring writer, and professional procrastinator.

Yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.

It’s the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and the princess is ready to decorate. She marched right upstairs and yelled at her father to “Go downstairs and get the Christmas!!!” That must have been an order.

The Professor comes running out of his room, a bit alarmed. “Are you ok?” I ask him.
“Yes,” he says breathlessly, and continues to stand there.
“Well what’s going on?” I ask, a little concerned.
“Oh nothing Mom, I was just reading the warnings under the chair in my room.”

We have been wanting to make waffles for awhile. I usually try to make stuff healthy, so I found a great recipe online.
The Professor is suspicious, of course: “What’s in it?” he asks, wrinkling up his nose a bit.
“Whole wheat and wheat germ.” I reply.
“Germs? You’re going to give me GERMS???”

Princess Difficult: “Mommy is that Ralph the Red-nosed Reindeer?”
Me: “Rudolph?”
Princess Difficult: “Who’s that?”

Evil Genius: “I sure go through a lot of deodorant. I must have large armpits or something.”

School lunch has been a bit of a struggle for the child who eats nothing. Often if it’s something that doesn’t get eaten we “recycle” it for another time, like if it’s peanut butter and crackers or a peanut butter sandwich. The other day I asked The Professor what meal he wanted to eat his sandwich-tomorrow’s lunch, snack, or breakfast. “BREAKFAST? You can eat peanut butter for BREAKFAST?” he asked incredulously.

Princess Difficult: “A damanshen is a big house that people live in.”

Princess Difficult: “Mommy what are you doing? Oh, you’re bunning.”
Me: “What’s bunning?”
Princess “It means you’re putting something on a plate.”

Evil Genius to kids: “You need to use elbow grease to clean the table.”*Silence and strange looks from the kids*
“Do you know what elbow grease is?”
The Professor “It’s stuff that comes out of your elbow.”

We’re drinking hot chocolate. I take a sip and burn my tongue a little on it.
My daughter reacts: “Oh no Mommy, you had a HOT ATTACK!” 😀

The Professor: “Why is your underwear in my laundry?”
Evil Genius: “Why is your laundry in my underwear?”

Princess “If I got eaten by a shark, I would miss my Mommy.”
Professor: “No, you’d be dead.”

We went to leave the nursing home where my aunt is staying. My uncle followed us out, and commented on the fact that I must have entered the door code correctly. “I don’t hear any bells and whistles!”
The Professor ducked and yelled “Missiles? What missiles?”
First I told he said ‘whistles’ not ‘missiles’. I then had to spend a little bit explaining that they don’t shoot missiles at people who try to leave the home.

Princess Difficult: “Let the decorating COMMENCE!”
The Professor: “What does commence mean?”
Princess Difficult: “It means BEGIN!”

Me: “We need ugly Christmas sweaters.”
Evil Genius: “OK, but only if mine lights up.”

Princess Difficult, upon pulling up at the Animal Rescue League, “Oh good, maybe we can adopt a reindeer.”

Princess Difficult: “Can you open these window markers for me?”
Me: “No, we’re not using those today.”
A minute later I see her going upstairs carrying the markers.
“Where are you going with those?” I ask.
“I’m taking them upstairs to think about them.”

Direct orders given recently at our house:
“Quit licking the spider!”
“Don’t punch the Christmas tree.”
“Don’t lick her head.”

We got about a foot of snow and blizzard conditions as well as very cold wind chills here this week. Princess Christmas doesn’t remember snow that actually sticks around. She kept checking outside every few minutes. “Yep, the snow is still there!”

Scared yet?