How Mr Ed Could Interview for a Retail Job

It really has nothing to do with this post, but it made me smile.

It really has nothing to do with this post, but it made me smile.

I’ve had a recent uptick in readership, and this is very exciting for me!  I’ve gone from a handful of followers to over 500 in a little over half a year.  It’s wonderful and at the same time a little scary for me.  It just so happens that I have been having a period of a couple of weeks where the ideas just are not flowing like I would like them to be.  I don’t want to disappoint, especially people that are just starting to read my work.  At the same time, I’m trying not to be on the computer so much and focus on my family more.  I am on here a lot between applying for jobs, networking, writing, keeping up with this blog and others, and working on my web page.  You could say it’s a lot of work not having a job!  Ironic, isn’t it?

An explanation to those new to my blog: I’ve been unemployed for going on six months now, with the exception of a few contracted cpr jobs here and there.  It’s not something that I want to get into the details of because, well, I don’t wanna.  Though as you can imagine it weighs a bit on my mind.  Add to that the fact that I’ve been sick for what seems like forever.  And on top of it all, we are having very cold weather with “dangerous” windchills.  When I can’t get outside at all, I get reeeeeeally moody.  Therefore I’m not real inspired, at least not this week.  When I’m writing about my coffeemaker, I’m stretching it a bit.  Ok, a lot.

Anyway, back to the whole not working thing…  For those keeping track, I had a “group interview” two weeks ago for a job at a large discount clothing store opening in our area.   Anyone could walk in and be interviewed in a group. I could have been a talking horse or a plate of jello, but since I went to their website I was immediately invited to do the group thing (as in the interview, not as in that other “group” thing-get your mind out of the gutter!).  I didn’t have high hopes for it, as a matter of fact I almost cancelled, but figured I could use the interview experience and you just never know.  I’m an optimist-there’s some of that “hope” stuff left in me.

As I think back to all of the people that were in the interview and the ones I saw coming through for the next one, I wondered who the heck they would end up hiring (for the record, there were no talking horses present, at least not at the one I went to).  There was the guy who looked almost exactly like Jimmy from Raising Hope but said very little.  There was a girl who reminded me of Luna from Harry Potter. She may not have looked like her, but every time she spoke she sounded and acted freakishly like her. And then there was THIS girl: “OMG, I used to work at Hollister and it really sucked because it was dark and I fell asleep there EVERY freakin day!”  Yet somehow I think that was the girl they ended up hiring.

Obviously I was not one of the ones they hired.  It took them very little time to send that rejection letter.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they had already put it in the mail before I left the parking lot.  I shouldn’t even be remotely surprised.  After all, they did take anyone who applied.  If a talking horse actually had applied and shown up for the interview, we would have probably had equal chances.  Though I thought I had an in, considering the guy conducting the whole thing had been the one who did the last interview I had somewhere else.  Guess it wasn’t them, guess it WAS me.

sheldon suck

I’m not really upset because it was a retail job that paid minimum wage.  On the other hand, I would love to find any way to bring in some extra income at the moment, because of the lack of odd jobs and extra things that I’ve always done in the past!  It makes me wonder why I couldn’t at least be considered for that kind of work.  So I’m kind of bummed, and left wondering in that respect.  Although my husband is gainfully employed at a wonderful company, I really need a job or some sort of income (*ahem* paid writing jobs perhaps?) because we are behind on our bills and I’m not so good at this homemaker thing.  I can’t pay a lot of my bills because I don’t have a job.  Since I don’t have a job, I don’t have money.  Since I don’t have money, I DON’T HAVE MONEY!  😉

This reminds me of something, this from the movie Scrooged:

Frank Cross: You’re staying here with me. We’re working late.
Grace: But I have to take my son to the doctor.
Frank Cross: Grace! When I work late, You work late!
Grace: But I made the appointment two months ago!
Frank Cross: I care! We’re indivisible. If I’m working late, you gotta work late! If you can’t work late, I can’t work late! If I can’t work late, I CAN’T WORK LATE!

(It’s much better with the movie clip, but I couldn’t find one!)

If only I could get job offers from my command of movie quotes, I’d be living the high life.

Despite all the money worries, I am very happy to be able to spend so much time with my kids.  They are the reason WHY it’s such a big worry, but they are also the thing that drives me to try to find my niche.  I hope that all of the frustration, all of the rejection, all of the not hearing anything from some of these businesses is all part of my little journey of finding out what I’ve really been put here on this earth to do.  I’ve written about the fact that I feel like it should be coming to the denouement quite soon (the final resolution of the intricacies of a plot, as of a drama or novel-I had GREAT English teachers in high school which is why I know what this is).  If My Life Were A Movie I’d Hire Better Writers.  But like any good story, there are additional twists and turns in the plot that have to totally throw me off.  Like a mystery, except I’m not a big fan of mysteries…

It's a mystery.  I don't like mysteries.

It’s a mystery. I don’t like mysteries.

For other funny but disturbing stories about my job search, you can check these out:
What I Think Potential Employers Are REALLY Saying About Me
The Job Search:  How It’s Kind of Like Dating

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24 thoughts on “How Mr Ed Could Interview for a Retail Job

  1. You know, blogger alone is a huge time suck. I find it hard to squish writing, tweeting, facebooking, etc. in on a daily basis without scrimping on sleep. 🙂 It’s a full time job! So if you’re adding in the whole process of looking for a job, I just really don’t know how you cope. Do you ever sleep?

    Don’t stress – something will come along soon enough and then you’ll be thinking, “man, I should’ve enjoyed my time off more”. That’s always what happens.

    Best of luck!

  2. It’s funny, while I was reading this, my son started questioning me on why he used to go to day care and why I don’t work anymore. “Uh, they didn’t want me to work there anymore.” “Why?” “Don’t question me.”

  3. Hubbs and I were both laid off for an excruciatingly long time when the housing market (and then everything else) crashed. We actually had to change States to get out of “that rut” – a.k.a. South Carolina or The Job Pit Of Doom. It’s really hard. I just kept telling myself that “things will change. I just know they will. They have to cause how could they get any worse?”… I guess I am just trying to say that I feel ya and I love ya. Come live with me! We would have too much fun!

  4. I’m recently unemployed, and I can’t even begin to bear the thought of searching for a job. I mean…obviously I have to do so, since I was the family’s primary breadwinner and all. But there’s a big ball of dread in my stomach every time I think about it. Wouldn’t it be nice if decent jobs could just fall in our laps? Sigh…

  5. Group interviews are the absolute worst. Don’t feel bad that you didn’t get offered a position. They knew you were overqualified, and would (understandably) leave the second something better came along. The half-wit from Hollister wasn’t going anywhere!

  6. The last time I had a group interview it got delayed for 2 hours (while we waited) and then canceled. I’m about to submit myself to the job market again, and according to most, my sites are too low (I want to work at a coffee shop). If I get a group interview, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep a straight face, because I’ll be associating people with plates of jello and talking horses. haha. Great post.

    • I had to leave a bloodborne pathogens training years ago because I was laughing too hard and still have to laugh when I have to do one. It’s because it showed a guy cutting his arm off in one of those old fashioned paper cutters. One other teacher and I found that uproariously funny-who is that stupid? No one else found it as funny as we did.

      • LOL What?!? How many hacks did he have to make before…nevermind, no. I don’t want to know. That reminds me of a really bad infomercial for a new type of paper cutter… “Has this ever happened to you?” *hack* well darn, I needed that arm…

      • The one where they say “Can’t cut straight?” and shows the person cutting something like they were drunk. It was a paper cutter with a light on it. I think I just may have a new blog post here…

  7. What’s even worse than looking for a job is looking when SO many others are too. You can’t possibly let the fact that you didn’t get a job from a group interview affect your self esteem. That just wasn’t the job for you. It may take your actually finding the one that’s for you to realize that. Or you could always just take my word for it. . .

  8. You know I’m right there with you, girl. The Hubs is still unemployed 3 months now and we are just draining what little savings we have left. I say go for full time writing if you can afford to–you are THAT good, that I believe you could sell a book (perhaps a compilation of all your top blog posts?). Think about it…..

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