Theme Thursday: More Dr Evil Than Dr Phil

Theme Thursday

Theme Thursday is a compilation of great writing at rock bottom prices.  All blog posts, every Thursday!  Everything must go!  Hurry up and get your very own before they’re all sold out!

This week’s theme was about giving advice.  Any advice.

lucy booth

I’m not so sure I’m qualified to give out any sort of advice on, well, anything.  We have a theory in my house that my husband, Evil Genius, would have one of the most unpopular advice columns ever.  My husband is a very, um, blunt, person.

So naturally, here to comment on this is my husband, Evil Genius.

Evil Genius:  “Who are you and why am I here?”

Me:  “I’m your wife and Remember, we talked about this.  You said you wanted to help out with Theme Thursday this week.”

Evil Genius:  *Stares at his computer screen*  “Hey my Sims are playing in the sprinkler again.”

Me:  “Do you want to help or not?”

Evil Genius:  “Was I sleeping when you asked me this?  I don’t like to help people.”

Me:  *Rolling eyes*

Evil Genius:  “All right, but make it quick, I have a witch to get through college tonight.”

This is a normal night for Evil Genius, when he's conscious.

This is a normal night for Evil Genius, when he’s conscious.

Me:  “Ok, let’s answer our first question.

Dear Dr Genius:  I am the parent of two boys who are fifteen months apart.  They never ever listen to me no matter what I do.  I’m about to lose my mind.  Please tell me what I should do.”

Evil Genius:  “I find that regular beatings work well.”

Me:  “Oooook.  Moving on then!  Question #2”

Dear Dr Genius:  I think I am addicted to video games.  I can’t stop playing. All I think about is video games.  Should I quit playing cold turkey or should I enter a twelve step program?

Evil Genius:  “What’s wrong with that?  Let’s make one thing perfectly clear, you can NEVER play too many video games.  I think you should play more! More!  MORE!”

Me:  “Annnnnyway…  Question #3.”

Dear Dr Genius:  My wife thinks she wants to start a blog… 

Evil Genius:  NEXT!!!!

Dear Dr Genius:  Please, I need help.  You have to help me-

Evil Genius:  “I don’t have to do anything, NO ONE tells me what to do…not even me.”

Me:  “Can I finish the question?”

Evil Genius:  “No, I know when I’ve been insulted.  Next question.”

Me:  *Glaring*

Evil Genius:  “Please.”

Dear Dr Genius:  I need to prepare a special meal for an upcoming family gathering.  Do you have any ideas of what I can do?

Evil Genius:  “You need to make a turkey.  You’ll need a gallon of chicken broth, two gallons of water, two cups of salt, put it all together in a saucepan, oh and put some other things in there that I’m sure I’m forgetting.  It’s ok, it’s cooking, not rocket science.”

Me (sighing):  “Ok, I think we have time for one more.”

Dear Dr Genius:  I have a terrible pain in my side.  I’m really worried about it.  I’m afraid it might be appendicitis or cancer or syphilis!  What should I do?

Evil Genius:  “It’s a long way from your heart!  You’re not dying! And furthermore-”

And that was when the cat jumped on my laptop and ended this Q & A session…

I've had enough.  You're done because I've said so.

I’ve had enough. You’re done because I’ve said so.

 I hope you enjoyed our little advice session.  Be sure to go over and see what other bloggers without evil husbands wrote about giving advice at the Theme Thursday link-up. 

Advertisements

58 thoughts on “Theme Thursday: More Dr Evil Than Dr Phil

  1. hahahahahaa, I love when the cats start helping. Nicely done with the interview – you should TOTALLY run a thing on Facebook where people submit questions to Dr. Genius!! And seriously make your husband answer them. 🙂 (unless you already do this and I’m a dolt and haven’t found it yet. then pretend I didn’t say anything)

  2. The trick is to not tell him what you’re doing. Just casually turn to him during dinner and say, “My friend has a problem….”
    P.S. First time on the laptop (not mobile) since your makeover. I like it!

  3. Love this!!! I agree w/ everyone else…you REALLY need to get his advice column up on your FB…if for nothing else but entertainment value! 😀

  4. That’s hysterical, especially the ending! I have a boy who just turned 20 who would agree w/the video game statement. He’s out of the house now, but there was a time when it was difficult to get him to turn.the.game.off. 😉

  5. It’s always amusing to see into the mind of a man, especially an evil genius. I felt like I had no good advice to give either – should’ve asked my husband! A post for another day maybe…

  6. Was that a beer in that pink coozie thing? That’s what my husband does every night – recliner with laptop minus cat. And I’m pretty sure his answers would have been quite similar!

    • I thought of your blog when I wrote this one with your Dr Evil. I do believe that would be: THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT! I’m currently trying to get Evil Genius to open a WordPress account so he can not only comment on all of this but also do a rant or two. Now if I could just drag him away from the Sims long enough to do it.

  7. Can you ask Evil Genius if it’s okay to wear white before Memorial Day. I’ve heard so many conflicting reports about this and I don’t know what to do?????
    Sincerely,
    Fashionably Confused

    • So your asking me how to conform and do what’s expected? Sorry, you’ve come to the wrong place. Who cares what your wearing? I think white is definitely NOTOk at any time of year. BORING! Besides, I work for living. Anything I wear that is white turns into 50 shades of grey in about 38 seconds.

  8. This IS pure genius! I loved it!!! Your husband is very much like mine–he would answer the questions the same way. But instead of being glued to a laptop, my Hubs is glued to the sports network all night!

Whatcha Thinkin?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s