Theme Thursday is a compilation of great writing at rock bottom prices. All blog posts, every Thursday! Everything must go! Hurry up and get your very own before they’re all sold out!
This week’s theme was about giving advice. Any advice.
I’m not so sure I’m qualified to give out any sort of advice on, well, anything. We have a theory in my house that my husband, Evil Genius, would have one of the most unpopular advice columns ever. My husband is a very, um, blunt, person.
So naturally, here to comment on this is my husband, Evil Genius.
Evil Genius: “Who are you and why am I here?”
Me: “I’m your wife and Remember, we talked about this. You said you wanted to help out with Theme Thursday this week.”
Evil Genius: *Stares at his computer screen* “Hey my Sims are playing in the sprinkler again.”
Me: “Do you want to help or not?”
Evil Genius: “Was I sleeping when you asked me this? I don’t like to help people.”
Me: *Rolling eyes*
Evil Genius: “All right, but make it quick, I have a witch to get through college tonight.”
Me: “Ok, let’s answer our first question.
Dear Dr Genius: I am the parent of two boys who are fifteen months apart. They never ever listen to me no matter what I do. I’m about to lose my mind. Please tell me what I should do.”
Evil Genius: “I find that regular beatings work well.”
Me: “Oooook. Moving on then! Question #2”
Dear Dr Genius: I think I am addicted to video games. I can’t stop playing. All I think about is video games. Should I quit playing cold turkey or should I enter a twelve step program?
Evil Genius: “What’s wrong with that? Let’s make one thing perfectly clear, you can NEVER play too many video games. I think you should play more! More! MORE!”
Me: “Annnnnyway… Question #3.”
Dear Dr Genius: My wife thinks she wants to start a blog…
Evil Genius: NEXT!!!!
Dear Dr Genius: Please, I need help. You have to help me-
Evil Genius: “I don’t have to do anything, NO ONE tells me what to do…not even me.”
Me: “Can I finish the question?”
Evil Genius: “No, I know when I’ve been insulted. Next question.”
Evil Genius: “Please.”
Dear Dr Genius: I need to prepare a special meal for an upcoming family gathering. Do you have any ideas of what I can do?
Evil Genius: “You need to make a turkey. You’ll need a gallon of chicken broth, two gallons of water, two cups of salt, put it all together in a saucepan, oh and put some other things in there that I’m sure I’m forgetting. It’s ok, it’s cooking, not rocket science.”
Me (sighing): “Ok, I think we have time for one more.”
Dear Dr Genius: I have a terrible pain in my side. I’m really worried about it. I’m afraid it might be appendicitis or cancer or syphilis! What should I do?
Evil Genius: “It’s a long way from your heart! You’re not dying! And furthermore-”
And that was when the cat jumped on my laptop and ended this Q & A session…
I hope you enjoyed our little advice session. Be sure to go over and see what other bloggers without evil husbands wrote about giving advice at the Theme Thursday link-up.