This Mom’s Birthday List

bday 20001_edited-1On May 1st I will turn the ripe old age of 39.  I know, don’t I look young for my age?

I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I believe I will go the extra mile and think really hard about what I want for my birthday.  I know it’s not about the gifts, but I’ve been extra good this year.  I have even kept my house clean for almost a week straight.  I am kind beyond belief, even when I want to strangle other people that I live with.  I bathe the dog.  I spend hours planning out and then executing my plan of attack for grocery shopping to maximize what we get for the money.  I make lunch AND coffee every morning for my husband.  I send him thoughtful messages.  Although I am not a fabulous cook, I don’t let my family starve.  Did I mention I have two children???

1) Permission To Be An Adult  A night out where we have a sitter and my husband is not on the verge of falling asleep, where there is a movie on that we actually WANT to see and enough funds to catch dinner somewhere beforehand (a place where we could make *gasp* reservations??  Do they DO that in Iowa?) Not having to rush home, and maybe even some grown up fun when we GET home.  Hmmmm…I don’t ask for much, do I?

2)  BOOKS.  Not just any books.  Books by my favorite people.

I told a huge lie.  I didn’t mean to.  I told Amber Dusick that I had just bought her book. Technically I had.  It was sitting in my cart on Amazon. I was GOING to buy it.  Twice.  I wanted the free bookplate, because she’s my hero. And I said ‘penis’ on her blog comments.  Therefore it was the least I could do, right?  But then real life intervened and decided that groceries and gasoline were more important than me getting to read her book.  Sigh… For those of you living under a rock, I’m talking about the Parenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures book.  I’d also take any of the books from the Life Well Blogged series, because I like to support other fellow bloggers!

3)  Complaint Free Shopping. A shopping day alone or with a willing companion (who is not four years old).  I’m no shop-a-holic.  I do, however, like to have time to actually browse in stores that don’t have a toy or a dollar section.

It’s fun to go to stores without an eight year old declaring that it is the worst day of his life because I made him put the DS down and get out of the car.  To leave the house just once without Evil Genius declaring “Let’s get this over with before I vomit!” To go eat at a place that doesn’t have fries or chicken nuggets on the menu.  To be able to try on clothes without a child licking the mirror.  To go to a scrapbook store without a time limit or a little one dismembering a whole rack of stickers.  To not have to scramble to get back home to make supper.  To go to any place that sells anything without a little voice begging “Can I have that, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease????”  (For the record, Evil Genius does that too-he still won’t forgive me for telling him he couldn’t have a Lego Death Star). To have a highly caffeinated beverage without someone pouting.

Evil Genius at the Lego Store at the Mall of America.  He dreams of a Lego Death Star.  His mean wife keeps telling him no.

Evil Genius at the Lego Store at the Mall of America. He dreams of a Lego Death Star. His mean wife keeps telling him no.

(Truth:  I love my family, but sometimes I just need a day away.)

4)  Recharge  A massage or something relaxing…HA HA HA!  I DID actually get a certificate for a massage once.  It was very, very nice.

For the record, my husband has informed me multiple times that he does NOT do subtle.  I have to flat out tell him or smack him.  So honey, here’s my list…  I want to see Iron Man 3 and Star Trek: Into Darkness, for when you take me out.  Maybe we can even hold hands in public or something.  Ooooooooooooooo…

I’d be happy with a bottle of wine and a nice homecooked dinner, but let’s pretend for a minute that I could have those other things I want, k?

Today I also dumped my purse out for Kelley’s Breakroom on her Facebook page.  My husband thought that was really weird, but I thought it was kind of fun!  So come over and check it out!  Tomorrow catch me over at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion, where I’ll be rambling about that special place where people understand me.  Also, don’t forget if you have a crazy question for Evil Genius, send it to me at thesadderbutwisergirlisme at gmail dot com with “Dear Dr Genius” in the subject line. 

47 thoughts on “This Mom’s Birthday List

  1. Hey Soul Sister! My birthday is May 2!!!! AND!!!!!!!!!! I told my sister all I wanted for my Birthday was to see Star Trek: Into Darkness!!!!!! WHO KNEW???? Now we do! Did your son say let’s get this over with before I varmit? You crazy varmint! I hope you get everything you want for your birthday! We have a similar list, I’ll take Star Trek and the massage, that would do me good 🙂

    • That is too funny about our bdays. I’m still lobbying for Iron Man 3 since it opens on May 3rd, but he wants to go see it alone to research his Iron Man suit (think I’m kidding, I’m not). Besides, I think he’s on to me and Robert Downey Jr…

      Oh no, that’s Evil Genius’s line. As a matter of fact, sometimes I beat him to the punch. “Let’s get this over with before he vomits.” He thinks he’s being funny…

      With my birthday being sandwiched between his and The Princess’s, we’ll see what goes down. One thing is for certain, there will be NO BOOB CASTLE CAKES THIS YEAR! HA HA!

    • Michael-fiction or nonfiction? Ms Short Attention Span here… 😉 I used to read a book a day. I remember when “V” came out, it was about 700 pages and I stayed up for 48 hours with no sleep to read it (V as in lizard aliens, not as in Vendetta-though that would be a good book too I think.) Now that I have kids, I’m lucky to read one a month! I finally finished “I Just Want To Pee Alone” and am hoping to get the review done sometime this week. We’ll talk-let me know!

      • My books are listed at my Store page at I have two in the Travelers’ Club Series that are steampunk fiction, think sci-fi in the 1880s like the recent Sherlock Holmes movies, Jules Verne, or HG Wells. The third is Twisted History, an anthology of unique alternative history. The fourth, coming out in a week or so, is Twisted Nightmares, an anthology of short stories and poetry all in the horror genre. I write non-fiction columns for three magazines too, but I find that less exciting.

      • I have a friend who has been involved in the horror genre for quite some time. He left the computer industry to do art, I think some of it through Deviant Art. He also does movie stuff. Everything so often he sends me something to look at online. Me with my super weak stomach, HA HA! He recently published a graphic novel. I wish I could find the link. Too cool!

  2. I actually pictured your kids licking the mirror while I was reading that!! What a great time of year for a birthday and I hope you get ALL that you’re asking for. If I lived a little closer, I’d gladly watch your kids with you ~ we could play with Lego’s and lick mirrors!!

  3. Happy early birthday! My husband does not do subtle either. After years of being bummed about my gift, I finally started telling him exactly what I wanted. It worked!

  4. Star Trek *and* a massage
    thank god I straightened that out, in my head! For reasons that no doubt should remain non-understood, the first time I read the line, it came out as (a) ‘Star Trek Massage’.
    Given that I have followed the series (and numerous spinoffs) and movies, my brain was coming up with some very strange visuals.
    But now I understand.
    I have enjoyed reading this Post.

  5. The Lego Death Star is the Holy Grail around here, too. We have two May birthdays, and my husband doesn’t do subtle hints, either. The similarities keep coming!

    Happy almost birthday week!

    • The Death Star actually replaced the lego Millenium Falcon which he coveted up until then. I love Star Wars, but that much.

      Incidentally, have you been to Pottery Barn Kids? This is the other thing he’s been pining for: It’s pretty darn cool, but also pricey. I blame Palpatine, I think he’s artificially inflating prices on Death Star related items, but maybe that’s just me…

      I’m thinking it’s going to have to go beyond a blog post at this point. Like me wearing a sandwich board with “Guess What I Want For My Birthday?!” written on it, followed by my list. It could so work.

  6. I did this once. I wrote on Facebook exactly what my birthday wishes were, and between four of them they still screwed it up. Sure hope you get those things, they are well deserved!

  7. Oh girl I feel ya. I always feel so bad when my family asks “What would you like for your birthday or Mother’s Day?” because the answer in my head is “A whole day and night to myself or with friends. Not any of you. I love you.” The answer is being screamed, by the way. In my head. The outside world usually hears, “A nice family breakfast and a day at the beach sounds fun.” And it is. It’s fun. Cutting up other people’s food, insisitng they eat so the money isn’t wasted and theyd don’t ask for a snack 20 minutes later, dragging 35 pounds of sand toys, boogie boards and other paraphonilia around is TOTALLY how I want to spend my day;) You’re not alone.

  8. This is the first confession I’ve read in a blogged birthday list. Nice.

    I wish you all the luck in getting just one of your items. I went 0 for 5 on my blogged birthday list. It’s like no one was listening, and not a single one had anything to do with Diana Krall or Jennifer Lawrence. I just don’t understand.

  9. aww I agree with you!! I would LOVE to have the things that you mentioned for MY birthday! At this point though I would be happy just having a hot shower with no interruptions! 🙂

  10. Happy early birthday and I hope you get what you want. Reservations? So fancy! I feel luck when the place doesn’t have a giant M on the front. lol.
    I’m hoping when the Mathemagician comes to town we’ll be able to see Iron Man 3. *fingers crossed*

  11. Pingback: Doggone Weekly Wrap-Up | The Sadder But Wiser Girl

Whatcha Thinkin?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s