Theme Thursday: Do-Overs

Theme Thursday is an opportunity to mind meld with the most amazing people online.  Today’s topic is Do-Overs.  After you read my mind blowing post, please click on the link at the top to view other even more mind blowing posts about doing stuff over.

This post is a bit off from my usual clean fun.  I may pepper it with some colorful metaphors.  If you do not like colorful metaphors, then please please just do not read. 

What, do you ask, is a colorful metaphor?  Oh please allow me…

Colorful Metaphors, Star Trek Style:  You Tube Video Link Here

Yes, only I could work Star Trek into a post like that, because that’s how I roll.

*Ahem*

It’s tempting to write a bunch of baloney this evening as reality is starting to rear its ugly head here in the land of cornfields and wind turbines.  The sub job is over, and we’re quickly getting back to living paycheck to paycheck.  I’m spending waaaaaay more time than I should looking at job postings.  Gee, it’s the SAME jobs over and over.  How many more rejection letters can I receive from McFarland Clinic?  Is Iowa State ever even going to look at my resume before setting it aflame?  And part-time stuff in the evenings and weekends?  HA!  It’s positively abysmal.  I really hope that this writing thing takes off pretty soon, but I’m not holding my breath.

Please don’t get me wrong.  I’m very happy with how some things turned out.  I’m crazy about my husband and kids. While life hasn’t always dealt us the greatest hand we are pretty awesome, dammit.

But there are some things in my life that I just wish I could go back and DO OVER, mainly because they were STUPID.

The following is a list of “Do-Over” Opportunities.  Please note that these are different from Photo Opportunities…  Each scenario in itself would negate the other opportunities, because it would create a time paradox, the result of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroy the entire universe!  Or something like that.

OH NO! Not the fabric of time!

Do-Over Opportunities

Do-Over Opportunity:  In high school you will be presented with many opportunities that for some reason or other, someone will try to talk you out of.  Do me a favor and do this over-ignore the naysayers and do what the hell you want to.  This could possibly lead to a more interesting life and fewer regrets.

Do-Over Opportunity:  That really super hot guy with the motorcycle, the really tall one with the blue eyes, the one you spent an entire semester staring at in math class, avoid at all costs.  Yes, do this over the right away.  When he walks up to you the following semester after chorus, WALK AWAY.  When he comes to your house, tell him to GO AWAY!  When he calls, hang up.  As a matter of fact, maybe do that with every guy that approaches you between the years of 1990-1997.  It will be so much better and so much less complicated.

Do-Over Opportunity:  When the Student Ambassadors at Lord Voldemort College approach you about majoring in Music Education, tell them thanks but no thanks, and then run and hide amongst the Elementary/Early Childhood majors. They’ll protect you.

Do-Over Opportunity:  When you realize how much the department you’re in at Lord Voldemort College is not doing you any good, you’ll try to transfer your buns out of there.  They’ll call you in to threaten you with all kinds of bullshit.  Here’s when your do-over comes in.  DON’T BELIEVE THEM.  It’s all lies.  Transfer and get the “h” out.  Go to a different school and go on with your life.  It’s much better than having student loans the rest of your life that you can’t pay.

Do-Over Opportunity:  When you’re called into your boss’s office and handed a paper with the word “failure”on it seven times and told to either resign or be terminated, don’t retreat into anonyminity.  Fight.  Get a lawyer.  SUE THEIR ARSES!

But Wait, Hold the phone…

You know there is the stuff I did right too, like making some of the friends I did in high school and college.  Like holding out for the hot smart guy with the weird but awesome sense of humor who actually can hold a conversation with me and likes many of the same things I do.  Yes, the one who proposed to me on a playground and I said “Yes!”  And those two kids, they’re pretty neat too.  The blogging thing, while as of yet it hasn’t paid out anything other than self satisfaction and some great friends, I think I did well to stick it out with that as well.

This was put on my Facebook wall by Menopausal Mother. She gets me…

Don’t forget to go see what all the fuss is about-check out all the other Theme Thursday posts and all of the other awesomeness over at Something Clever 2.0

I couldn’t resist one more thing about those damn colorful metaphors…YouTube Video Link Here.