Is Anyone Listening???

ear horn

I’d like to order one of these for every member of my family please.

Can you hear me now? How bout now?  Now?  Hello?  Does anyone hear me?????

Ranty McRanterson is back for a few minutes…

I had a little breakdown the other day and spent part of the morning sitting on the back porch, folding laundry with tears running down my face.  Despite the fact that I’m not allowed in the bathroom by myself, I’m wondering if anyone knows I’m here.This is because no one seems to hear any of the words coming out of my mouth.

For example, I am trying really really really hard to keep my house semi clean.  This as in acceptably clean in case someone comes over, not as clean as an eighteen wheeler.  I realize that part of my duties as a housewife is to clean the house on a regular basis, not just sit around and drink diet pop and play on the internet as many people think I do.  I have two children, a husband, a dog, and a cat.  This can prove difficult.  I don’t have unrealistic expectations, as proven by my children’s rooms that you must have all shots up to date before you enter.   All that I ask is that IF YOU GET SOMETHING OUT PUT IT AWAY.

The Princess enters the room with a container of legos.
I tell her “Be sure that you put those back when you’re done.”
Three minutes later she has an art project spread all over the place.
“I thought I told you to pick up those legos!”
The Princess: “I’m not done playing with them yet.”
“You’re not playing with them if you’re doing art.”
“But I’m making a picture for yooooooou!”
“You need to pick them up when you’re done playing with them.”
By the evening, we’re knee deep in everything she owns.

Me to The Professor:  “What do you want for breakfast?”
Professor:  *Stares at the tv*
I repeat this question multiple times before I finally give up.
The Professor:  “Aren’t you going to get me breakfast?”
I simply get him something for breakfast.
The Professor:  “I didn’t want that.”
Keep in mind that they may or may not actually be something on the screen…

Both kids are extremely distracted when it comes to things like opening a door.  Our dog has escaped more times than I can count this month.  Most of the time this is due to a child opening a door, and then just standing there.  I’m sure he or she is pondering the meaning of life.  “I open the door, therefore I am?”  Repeated reminders to close the door go unheard.  The Professor will even walk in the house after school and be asked sixteen times to please close the door behind him.  This often necessitates me physically going over to him, spinning him around, and asking him what he has forgotten to do.  Even then, it takes a few minutes and me telling him for the seventeenth time to CLOSE THE DOOR.

Not_ListeningEven my husband seems to have fallen victim to this.  I know that he has been around me for going on fifteen years and has perfected the art of ignoring me.  But often he just plain isn’t listening or even hearing me.

Part of it is The Sims.  Have you ever played The Sims?  It’s a video game where you create people and tell them what to do.  He doesn’t get why I don’t play.  Um, because I’ve already created people and am trying to tell them what to do?  Why make myself doubly frustrated by having two sets of people that don’t listen to me?  He likes it, and playing helps him relax and try to get his mind off of working (because he’s always thinking, ALWAYS!).  But I don’t really get it…

When he’s got the headphones in, and his Sims aren’t listening (because often they don’t and do things like running through a sprinkler in the dead of winter), he sure as heck isn’t listening to what I’m saying either.  Or answering questions that I’m asking.  He misses important things like “Are you out of shampoo?” “Supper is ready.” “I’m running off with Elliot Sadler.”

*Disclaimer:  I’ve never actually threatened to run off with Elliot Sadler.  He’s married and so am I.  But today is his birthday and he’s the first good looking famous guy that came to mind…

Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t do it on purpose.  And he still interacts with me, there are some times where I just don’t think he’s listening.

Me:  “I’d love to go insert random activity here!”
Evil Genius:  “Why don’t you put Avengers in the blu-ray player.  I don’t think I have the movie completely memorized.”

Disclaimer:  I’ve never actually heard him say he’s trying to memorize the Avengers.  He has watched it about 400 times, and I’ve watched it right along with him.

People, moms and wives are people too.  We like to be heard, listened to, and occasionally acknowledged.  Do you fall victim to not hearing/not listening/not caring from the little or big people in your house?  Do you run from the house screaming, sit and cry, or go do some retail therapy?  I’m ready for a night out and/or some retail therapy.  Anyone want to treat me?

Disclaimer:  I love my family to pieces.  I wouldn’t trade them for all the chocolate in the world.  I do get frustrated though and therefore vent by joking about it… so nobody take offense, okay?  Yeah, I worry too much…

Before you dash out, run over to Jen Kehl’s blog and check out Twisted Mixtape Tuesday where she finds some great music to stalk people by.  That’s right…

mixtapes

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69 thoughts on “Is Anyone Listening???

  1. You make me want to grab my pom poms and cheer for you. I think we mums need to start carrying bull horns around with us to speak into. See if they can hear us then. If it makes you feel any better, I hear you, and if I was there now I’d be shutting the door or cleaning up the legos, or whatever else you needed doing. Then I’d tell you that I appreciate everything you do around here. Mum’s don’t hear that nearly enough I feel. Well enough creepy messages from random strangers, I just wanted to tell you I feel your pain, and maybe you need to take a mental health day tomorrow. If they complain, just pretend you can’t hear them.

      • I agree moms dont get mental health day, i dont get breaks, I started on another site that had to do with sensory disorder, and i was wondering are any of these children Autistic, I have one and he goes through all most every thing listed on that list, eating disorders, one time he wants lots of touching another he doesnt, yes certain types of dirt or sticky can NOT be on his hands, No really load sounds. All those things listed also relate to Autism to not just sensory disorders, So can some one please explain the difference, My son was diagnosed with Autism, and all so has all put one listed on the list on the previous site that had to do with sensory disorder. I’m trying to educate myself as much as possible to help my 3 1/2 yr old. So anyone out there that can give any info i would appreciate it.

      • There are some awesome bloggers out there who could probably help you Stacy! My email is thesadderbutwisergirlisme at gmail dot com. I know several bloggers who have children either diagnosed with autism or sensory disorders. My son is ADD, but is also suspected of being on the spectrum. He certainly has some sensory issues. There is help! Some blogs I can think of are
        http://www.findingninee.com/
        http://jenkehl.com/
        http://thedgoddess.com/
        http://www.starkravingmadmommy.com/
        Hope this helps! 😀

  2. Oh, I feel your pain. I simultaneously felt like laughing, crying, and nodding while I read this. I have a little FB post series called “Why Do I Even Bother?” It’s pretty much my motto these days. What’s the point??? I don’t know how many more times I have to announce my plan to not leave crap all over the kitchen table before somebody finally hears me… Solidarity, Sister! You’re not alone!

    • I have the same problem with my son, i cant keep up with all the appointments, the house cleaning, trying to deal with melt downs, I cant get him to understand pick up toys, even when i try to make a game out of it. Single mom trying to find ways to have a clean house, and still have time to work with my son. So he comes first and everything else is getting put on hold and those that know me knows it absolutely drives me crazy not being able to have a really clean home. I have paper work every where, along with toys intermixed with it. Laundry, messes my son makes sometimes its from acting out due to autism, other times its alot of spills and accidents, that i spend several times cleaning the same floors i just cleaned and some days i have to clean them same floors over and over. I try to engage him to help cause some times he likes to help mommy and i try and tell him he has done a good job, then after he is asleep i go back and do it right, but at least he tried, i dont want to discourage him, its easy for one with autism to get discourage when they are trying to please you even though he made the mess he sometimes tries to clean it up and even though he didnt really get the job done I tell him what a really good job he did. But he is only 3 1/2 limited speech, goes to school for his IEP. I just want to do what is best for my child. Im open to new suggestions. His eating disorder is really bad, it almost impossible to get food in him.

      • Don’t hesitate to hang with us chicas here online. It’s so great to just talk about stuff our kids are doing and what seems right and what isn’t right and yada yada. No one said that parenting is easy. It’s especially interesting when you throw in a special need in there!

  3. Oh Sarah, I just want to hug you right now and tell you that I feel your pain. Sadly, you are not alone. I will try to have an important (financial or parenting) conversation with my husband and he has one eye on the laptop and the other on the TV. He says “but I AM listening”. I always tell him I need full on eye contact before I’ll believe that is true. Remember Charlie Brown’s teacher? All you heard was Waa Waa Waa……that’s what I’m sure he hears. We should just get in the car and go somewhere without a word. See how long it takes the families to even notice we’re gone. In my case, it wouldn’t be until they discovered the toilet paper roll needed changing!!

  4. I’m listening and do I ever feel your pain. Add in a husband with ADD and you can be pretty sure NO ONE ever hears anything you say. Last night. Child + Husband, me: please be home from the park by 8 so child can have a well needed shower. I hear an OK.
    8:56 who saunters in the door? When I’m all pissy about late shower = late bed = mom doesn’t get to write until late. Everyone looks at me like I’m nuts.
    It’s everything from not leaving crumbs all over the counter, to when the child needs to sleep. Yesterday was a killer for me too.
    I would treat you to that night out if you would move next door!

  5. I hear you! I think the whole “they can’t hear me” thing is why I’ve taken to knitting and spinning so much. I figure that since there’s pretty much no point in my trying to run around like a maniac cleaning up after everyone here, I might as well do something in enjoy while the crap piles up around me. Plus, it’s easy to fume and nurse grudges while my hands are busy. And in the end, I get a hat, a sweater, a pair of socks…it’s really a win-win. For me, that is.
    Karen

  6. Wow, you hit home on this one. Talking to two kids all day, up to seven when the neighborhood asylum releases their children and they congregate at my house, is like talking to a wall – a hearing impaired wall, at that. After generally being ignored for many of the same things you wrote of, at the end of the day, I feel as useless as Nikki Minaj’s copy of “Standard Ettiquette In High Society.”

  7. With you completely and I have lost track of how times I have said out loud to no one in particular, “Is this thing on?” Seriously, I feel your pain and it is so true when you are a mom that it is the most ungrateful job in the world many times!! And like you I could use a day or night out!!

  8. You totally nailed this one.

    I’ve been known to start going “Waa waa waa…” like Charlie Brown’s teacher to the hubby and kids when I know they’re not listening. That usually gets their attention. I’ve also been known to shriek like a crazy woman (not as effective). Sometimes just threatening the silent treatment works too (“I don’t know why I even bother talking, since no one listens to me anyway. I’m just going to stop.”) Wish I had a fail-proof solution! 🙂

  9. I totally get you! For me, things changed when I actually expected to be listened to. Before that, I would WANT to be listened to, but when I wasn’t, I grumbled about it but didn’t make them change. I really believe that we teach people how to treat us. I spoke with my husband about it and he does do a lot better when he saw how it was hurting me. With the KIDS, I started expecting them to listen and let them know there would be consequences for NOT listening. I had to get my husband’s support to begin enforcing this rule too. Things dramatically. 😀

  10. I feel like all I do is pick up the crap my kids leave in their wake. Just this morning I tripped over a sneaker, found a sock on the couch, a cereal bowl left on the table, and a piece of chewed gum on a shelf in the fridge. I pity my kids’ college roommates and spouses.

      • a Hug to you. I feel the same way. The more i try to make and work at getting it clean it just keeps getting worse. I feel i’m loosing control over my own apartment. I used to clean walls every other day. Now i can barley get laundry or dishes done and spend the right amount working with my son. To all the moms out there doing all this, just REMEMBER YOU ARE ACTUALLY A SUPER MOM. i SEE IT IN ALL THESE POST AND i FEEL YOU AND RESPECT YOU FOR ALL YOU DO FOR YOUR FAMILIES EVEN IF THEY MIGHT NOT THANK YOU, i WILL, THANKS MOMS FOR ALL THE SACRIFICES YOU HAVE GIVEN OF YOUR SELVES UNSELFISHLY. BLESS ALL

  11. I used to go through this on a daily basis when my kids were young. The Hubs still doesn’t listen to me. He has “selective hearing” which he claims is a trait of ADD. Yeah, right. Well, paybacks are hell. I now have “selective hearing” when I am on the commuter. My kids will call and I only give them short answers like, “Uh-huh. Yup. Ok.” Then they get all mad and yell, “MOM! GET OFF FACEBOOK! YOU’RE NOT LISTENING TO ME!!!” Yup. Paybacks are hell but ohhh they feel so good! Btw–the SIMS comments—HYSTERICAL!

  12. All. The. Time. Just last night I started a conversation with my husband, told him something that had happened in the day, walked out of the room for 2 seconds to make sure our 2-year-old was okay, then came back to finish off the conversation. But when I started talking to him again, he looked at me like an alien and said, “what the heck are you talking about?” REALLY? Did you REALLY just ask me that?

    So yes, I am ignored a lot too! 🙂

  13. Sending some hugs your way….I understand what you feel on a slight level with just the hubby; I don’t even know what having some crazy munchkins running around. I keep remembering back to my poor mother and how hard she tried to keep on us girls and my dad to pick up stuff and to listen to her, and I wish I had done better. However, I am the most like my mother and was also the child who kept my room the cleanest. (This is true; my sisters are awful!)

  14. Yeah, nobody listens to me, either. Often, when husband does listen, he thinks I’m being mean because I’m telling him to get off his phone and play with our kid. His game? Age of Empires. I know he needs it. Drives me insane. And when somebody sponsors your retail therapy, can I come and they’ll find me a sponsor too?

  15. Girl I feel your pain…I go unheard myself in our house…and when I do get heard …which is very seldomly I may add…it’s only because they are sick of me yapping in their ear and they want me to shut up. To rectify this I carry a wiffleball bat around with me…and when I have to repeat myself…I do it with the bat upside the head.

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  17. You are not alone–sung like the late, great Michael Jackson. I’ve found that if I physically position myself in between my son and whatever he’s doing (TV, book, etc.) he listens to me. My husband? Now that’s a different story!

  18. so glad I’m not alone in being ignored…. I sometimes will repeat a sentence over and over till son listens and after about seven times he will turn to be cover his ears and say, “Why do you keep saying that?” ……BECAUSE YOU AREN’T LISTENING.

  19. Just an example of today’s conversation with my son (and every weekday morning before today). Me: Don’t forget your lunch. Grab your lunch. Don’t forget your lunch. Do you have your lunch? Don’t forget your lunch. Your lunch is on the counter. Grab your lunch.

    And every day, he comes back to the house from the bus stop because he forgot his lunch.

  20. I have a made up foreign language I start screaming in when my family isn’t listening. After, I tell them that I was just trying other options for communicating because they clearly can’t understand English. I feel your pain. My daughter is much older than your kids and I still find myself acting like a crazy person. Not nearly as often as I used to so there’s hope!

  21. Well, I guess I should be thankful – firstly that I’m not alone, and secondly that at least my listens to half of what I say! Sometimes I’m weighing up options and decide the first one wasn’t a good idea after all but he’s stopped listening by then. Makes for a lot of confusion, but at least I guess he’s trying.
    BTW, my kids used to play Sims constantly!

  22. Oh girl, I feel ya! I actually took my youngest to the audiologist in the fall. I was secretly hoping he had a hearing problem. I would’ve felt so much better. Sadly, his hearing was fine. And to top it off, the audiologist laughed at me. Hard. So I’ve pretty much given up hope on that. As for the husband? I totally solved that problem. Read this;)
    vicky
    http://thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com/2013/01/honey-we-need-to-talk-hey-look-im-naked.html

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  24. New follow from Let’s Get Social Sunday Hop! Love this and totally agree and feel your pain. Most days I feel like Charlie Brown’s teacher, “Wa wa wawa wa!” LOL! Sharing some love by sharing as well!
    Stacey @ This Momma’s Ramblings

  25. That exchange between The Princess and you is exactly what happens in my home. It’s to the point where I want to be like, “I don’t care if you’re making that card for me. Pick up your legos or they’re going to serve as drainage pebbles for the potted plants.

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