In our house we have three birthdays very close to each other. Evil Genius has a birthday on April 19th. For eleven days we are the same age, because I am a year older than him. My birthday is May 1st, followed by The Princess’s birthday on May 6th. Because of this fact, I present to you the Fly on the Wall Birthday Edition!
The Princess: “Will Daddy be 40 on his birthday?”
Me: “No, he’ll be 38.”
The Princess: “Will you be 40 on your birthday?”
Me: “No, I’ll be 39.”
The Princess: “Oh good, because when you turn 41 you die.”
So she’s saying I’ve got two years. I’d better make the most of it (Yes I did tell her that she was misinformed…)
The Princess: “Mommy, a Cheeto is the fastest animal on land.”
I was really concerned about the conversation my kids kept having. I kept hearing about some “hot girl”. Who do they think is hot and why? I finally asked them. As it turns out, “hot girl” is actually “Hawk Girl”-a comic book character.
The kids were putting pennies in the big coin thing-the kind where they go around and around forever until they finally plop in the hole in the bottom.
The Princess: “Where do the pennies go when they go in the hole?”
Evil Genius: “There’s a big coin monster in there that eats them when.”
The Princess (obviously NOT believing his story): “I wish I was a penny so I can go in there and see what’s REALLY there.”
Evil Genius and I were discussing that sleeping naked causes some people (including me) to have weird naked dreams.
Me: “So if you don’t normally sleep with pants on and you fall asleep in them then you must have the opposite.”
Evil Genius: “Can you imagine that? Hey I fell asleep with my pants on last night and I dreamed I went to a nudist colony and I HAD MY CLOTHES ON.”
This is just a sampling of some of the weird conversations we have in bed.
The Princess: “I wish we had a magic TV. I wish we had one so that if we wanted something it would just throw it out at us!”
The Professor: “WOW!”
Evil Genius: “What?”
The Professor: “What?”
Evil Genius: “Wow what?”
The Professor: “?????”
Evil Genius: “You said wow. Wow what?”
The Professor: “I did?”
Evil Genius: “Yes.”
The Professor: “Oh, I guess didn’t hear myself say that.”
Evil Genius: “I need a full body scan. You know, so I can upload it somehow to my computer and get going on an actual Iron Man suit.”
Me: “Can I interest you in lying down on the floor and having us trace around your body instead?”
When we went out for Evil Genius’s birthday, The Princess ordered the Naked Chicken Tenders, because they had the word naked in them of course!
Evil Genius to the kids: “If you had your choice, what would you rather have, my ’53 Ford or my Ram?”
The Professor: “I’d have to take a look at them first, then I’d decide. What’s the difference?”
Evil Genius: “One is a four wheel drive and one is a two wheel drive.”
The Professor: “Oh, I’d rather have a four wheel drive. It would be really weird to drive a truck with only two of the wheels.”
The Princess: “If saltines didn’t have salt on them they’d just be ‘teens'”
Now that the weather is finally nice, we are trying to get our yard and garden up to snuff. Evil Genius was cutting up some branches to put in the fire pit for future burning.
The Princess has been a bit concerned about the nature in our yard being hurt.
He heard the Professor comfort his sister “Don’t worry, the branches don’t feel anything!”
The Princess: “Daddy I think your barb looks good!”
Evil Genius: “You mean my RHUBARB looks good!”
Our pediatrician informed me that kindergarten will be challenged by my daughter. Yes you saw that right, it’s not the other way around.
Me to the family: “Keep on saying all this great stuff. I’ll have my whole Fly on the Wall post done before the day is out!”
Have a Happy May! Buzz buzz!
Here are the links to all of the other bloggers who are participating. Please go buzz around their homes for a bit too!