Theme Thursday: Lots of Pain, So Far No Gain

Theme Thursday is a magical place where dreams come true.  All the magic is brought to you by Jenn from Something Clever 2.0.

This week’s theme was to write about what drives you crazy.

Crazy is right.  I feel absolutely nuts about now.

I have eluded to the fact that I’ve been in a lot of agony lately.  I don’t like to say a whole lot, because I don’t want to come off a complainer.  Trust me on this one, and don’t listen to a word my husband says about there always something being wrong with me.  He thinks he’s being funny, you know.

I’ve had a stiff, painful neck on one side for months, and it finally got so bad that I went in and got it looked at.  I’ve now been in there threee times.  Appointment #1-It’s stress and all in my head.  Appointment #2-I got X-rays and oh that was FUN. My spine is fine, thanks for asking.  Appointment #3-I don’t have shingles and it’s not going away on its own.

I’m sure I look like I’m possessed the way I’m walking around rolling my head these days.  I’m trying to unkink my neck, even though I know it’s not going to help.  It hurts like holy heck.  Add to that the newest member of the pain family:  The head.  Whichever part of my body decided that this was a funny joke can really just knock it off now!  Really?  A million pin pricks of hot pain on my scalp?  That’s real funny.  Not.

You find this funny? I don’t, because I’m completely out of chocolate.

As one would expect, this is a huge challenge for someone who is considered a humor writer.  It’s put a great big giant Charley Horse in my style.  Although I’ve managed to maintain somewhat of a sense of humor during all of this, I feel like a horrible mom and wife.  I’m crabby because I hurt so bad and don’t sleep well.  I can do very little around the house.  I’m sure that my husband and kids would like to auction me off very cheaply about now.  Or at least trade me in for a mom without body issues.This past Sunday I felt totally useless as I lay on the couch and my family pitched in to do everything that I have been neglecting around the house.  It was literally all I could do.  I’m so happy that they stepped up-I fall somewhere between bad and terrible when it comes to housecleaning and maintenance as it is.  This is not helping my image!

I think I’d feel about the same as I would if were to lean on a cactus…  Or maybe I’d feel better?  I’ve shared my pain with a few of the people I talk to regularly.  My blogging friends in particular have been wonderful-I’ve received plenty of advice on things I can try:

Acupuncture:  It’s needles.  IT’S NEEDLES!  Noooo!  I’m deathly afraid of anything with a needle. No wonder I don’t sew.

Supplements:  I really would like to take some, but I already take a multivitamin and I’m skeered of growing an extra head.  One that would hurt just as much as the one I have.

It would be like the cars.com commercial but scarier…

Massage:  Hell yeah!  Who wants to give me one?  Actually, Evil Genius has stepped up nicely in the department, but he can’t do much about my head.

Alternative Medicine:  I’ve had all kinds of wonderful stuff suggested to me that I’ve never heard of before, and that unfortunately aren’t available here in corn country.

Chocolate Therapy:  I understand that chocolate goes quite well with vicodin.

Alcoholism:  Maybe a glass or two, but I really like my liver, thanks.

I personally think that if I were to cut myself in half I might actually feel better.  I’d look pretty weird though.

As I said, we’ve tried to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing.  Evil Genius has made sure to make plenty of jokes at my expense.  Some of them were even funny. He’s had his own pain to deal with-his knee is going to explode any day now.  Some snippets of things said at my house this week:

“You said you wanted to tighten up. I can’t help it if you’re an overachiever.”

“Come over here and put your neck against my knee.  Maybe we can cancel out each other’s pain.”

The doctor referred me to physical therapy, FINALLY.  She said I needed deep tissue massage and a few rounds with the TENS machine.  Unfortunately I have to wait until Monday to get any relief.  I’m really hoping it helps.  I’d really hate to feel like this for the rest of my life!

Have you ever been in pain that just wouldn’t quit?  What did you end up doing for it?  Did anything work (or are you still in pain)?  I’d love to hear your story, however depressing or funny it is…

Please be sure to see what drives other bloggers batty by clicking on the Theme Thursday link at the top!

I’m doing double duty this week by cohosting the Tattler Thursday blog hop.  I’m a blog hop virgin, so I’m not really sure what I’m doing…  We can’t get the links to work, so I’m plugging it sans links for now.  If you’d like to link up, please visit The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps and/or CHill Thoughts to link up your post!

Hostess

Co-Hostess

Co-Hostess