July 2013 Fly on the Wall: The Knee Licker Edition

flyWelcome to a Fly on the Wall group post. Today 12 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house.  Don’t be scared, I promise we don’t bite very hard!  

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We did crafts. He thinks he needs to wear this everywhere now!

On a recent visit to my sister’s house, I mentioned that The Professor thinks that having a mohawk would be pretty cool.  My brother in law turns and hollers across the room to him “Hey, do you want a mohawk?”
The Professor:  “No thank you.  My mom says I can’t have one.”

The Princess to the Professor: “Have you ever had a blood transformation?”
The Professor: “Yeah, but it wasn’t blood, it was just liquid.”
(It took me a minute to realize what he was talking about-he was referring to when he was in the hospital for dehydration and had to have an IV!)

We returned from our travels to find that the dog had destroyed an eraser, an ink pen, and part of my beloved yoga mat.  Upon thinking the situation over, we decided that he had done some yoga, then got hungry and ate the yoga mat.  Afterwards he made a pro con list and must have decided to destroy the evidence.  Makes sense, right?

We were watching the clouds getting darker and darker as a thunderstorm rolled in.
The Professor:  “According to my research, those are stratus clouds.”
Where was he doing research?

The Princess sat on the couch, making a weird face.  I asked her what was wrong.
“Every time I lick my knee it hurts.”

The Princess and her sparkly visor.

The Princess and her sparkly visor.

I was worrying about the fact that I couldn’t find the kitten’s little blanket to put in the bathroom with him at night.  Evil Genius replied: “That’s ok, he sleeps on your bra.”

The other day my daughter went upstairs and started having a pillow fight.
With herself.
Should I have been concerned?

At the park, other children are playing on the equipment.  But not my son, he’s analyzing it.  I hear him say to one of the other children “My knowledge of engineering is not great, but I’m pretty sure this was built in the 1950s or 60s.”

Out on one of our nature walks, the Princess asked me “Mommy, what does a dick look like?”
Me (hoping I’d heard her wrong):  A what?
The Princess:  “A dick.  You know, you saw one when we were walking to the park.”
Me:  “Ummmmm… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
What the hell was she talking about???? I saw no dicks of any kind yesterday.
Finally it dawned on me:  “OHHHH, you mean a DITCH!”
Thank goodness that was what she meant…

One of the unfortunate victims of our latest round of storms was our neighbor’s tree.  We had some pretty big branches in our yard and on our roof.
Me:  “The neighbor guy hauled off the tree branches, except for the ones still on the roof of course.”
Evil Genius: “That’s ok, the grass in our yard will cover it up before the end of the week.”

Eating dinner at a Chinese restaurant, The Professor explains to us that “Eating fish makes you a good swimmer.”

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Mommy this does not work. It must be BROKEN!

The Princess was having a little play time before her T-ball game at the park.  She sat on the merry go round.  And sat.  And sat.  Finally she starts yelling to me: “Mommy, this thing doesn’t work.  It must be broken!”

The Professor is wearing a blue shirt, red shorts, and yellow socks.  When I asked him about it, he replied “MOM, I’m wearing the primary colors!”

The Princess sits next to Evil Genius and says “I like doing things for you, because doing things for someone you love is making love.”
Evil Genius: “Um, nooooooo… not exactly.”

I hope you enjoyed this little glimpse around the little world that I call home.  Now check out some other people’s lives:

http://BakingInATornado.com                                     Baking In A Tornado

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just a Little Nutty

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/                Stacy Sews and Schools

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/                   Menopausal Mother

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/            Moore Organized Mayhem

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                            The Insomniac’s Dream       

http://themomisodes.com/                                      The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                      Spatulas on Parade

http://www.therowdybaker.com                              The Rowdy Baker

http://sorrykidblog.com/                  Sorry kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others

 

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48 thoughts on “July 2013 Fly on the Wall: The Knee Licker Edition

  1. OMG OMG….she just sat on the merry go round….that is just too cute…Dino would have done the same thing if he hadn’t seen some kids using it. Though those things are dangerous.

    I can’t breathe after the DITCH, knee licking, and making love comments…OMG OMG OMG

  2. The dick comment–holy crap you weren’t kidding when you told me you were going to have a penis in this blog post. Hilarious! And your son talking about the engineering of the play equipment—that kid is too smart. You’ve got some comedic little geniuses on your hands, Sarah!

  3. So funny – you have a comedy team there! The ditch conversation reminded me of taking my youngest son to the park. He was screaming “Look, a black pecker!” over and over. I realized finally that he meant black woodpecker. Only it was a crow. Red face.

    And I tested your daughter’s theory, and she’s right. Trying to lick my knee hurts!

  4. I can totally see the dog sitting down after a good workout on the mat and weighing his options. 😉
    “I like doing things for you, because doing things for someone you love is making love.” I love her little mind and that sweet little heart… I also laughed my butt off.
    I LOVED this post!

  5. Love all of this, Sarah. I would have been the kid wondering why the merry go round wasn’t working. The ditch story is one you need to remember forever!
    Hey, remember, I have half of a bra from my dog. You can have it if you’re looking for a new kitty bed…
    Wouldn’t you like to actually be a fly on the wall when your animals are eating yoga mats or kids are trying to lick their knees? Good times.

    • I never did put in there WHY she thought it wasn’t working-at the park in the town we live in there is a merry go round that is like a giant sit and spin!

      My kitty would probably take you up on your half a bra offer! 😀

  6. Tears streaming…oh my goodness. When C was potty training, we would clap for her when she did a good job. Then she switched it up. When she’d poop, she say, “Crap for me, Crap for me!!” This is only mildly funny compared to the ditch and making love. I almost lost myself completely when I got to the black pecker comment.

    • And I thought that the little boy at our work calling the fire hydrants “spider hiders” was funny, he’s got nothing on our kids! Oh your funny little girl-what’s extra funny is that I can totally see and hear her doing that (in my head)! I LOL’d and both of my kids turned around and looked at me funny!

  7. Oh Sarah, I’m laughing SO hard right now. “My knowledge of engineering is not that great…”. And of course the dick conversation was hysterical. So much laughter must go on in your house. What an amazing gift that is!

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  9. Love all of this and I think you need to start marketing bras for kitty beds! I think it could be the next big thing! Sorry I couldn’t make it on Twitter last night. We got a last minute babysitter and went out for the night! Was it a good time?

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  12. Sarah this is totally hilarious! HAHAHA 🙂
    I can’t even choose a favorite but the wondering what a dick looks like might win. That or whether you should be concerned that your daughter had a pillowfight by herself. Really awesome funny post, you!

    • Thank you! She had the pillow fight with herself because her brother didn’t want to join. I guess it’s good that she’ll entertain herself if no one else wants to join in!

  13. The dick conversation would have sent me into an immediate panic then manhunt for the person who said that in front of her! Also, I didn’t know what fly on the wall was before. I LOVE this! Also, did you ever find out how your son knew about the 50’s/60’s playground construction?

  14. How in the world did you figure out that dick meant ditch? And how did you have the presence of mind not to just freak out?? Too much. Man, your kids keep you on your toes, Sarah! They are just too darn smart for words!

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