I Didn’t Go To BlogHer and Get Free Lubricant, But I Did Go To Jail

I know the feeling Spidey...

I know the feeling Spidey…

If you’re a gal that blogs, and you weren’t at BlogHer this past weekend AND you have a lot of blogging friends, you saw a lot of pictures that made you wonder why the hell you were missing out on what only could be the party of a lifetime.

From what I saw on Facebook, there were all kinds of things I missed out on. There was learning, there was bonding, there was a lot of alcohol, there was LUBRICANT.  Yes, apparently on top of everything else they gave away free lubricant and vibrators.  I am so sorry I missed it!

In case you hadn’t heard I wasn’t there.  Previously I blogged about what I thought was going to go down at the conference.  However I had a party of my own instead.  Here is what you missed out on this weekend at Not At BlogHer 2013:

I showered twice in three days (*GASP!*)
I stared in silence at a lot of pictures of people having fun at BlogHer.
My kids broke a broom among other things.
We almost ran out of cheese.
My husband worked all day Friday AND Saturday.
My kitten drew blood four times.


Everyone looks like they’re having so much fun… Now I want wine and chocolate…

Actually I DID do something while this was all going on.  I cohosted a Twitter party with Jenn from Something Clever 2.0 just for the unlucky folks that didn’t get the opportunity to be at BlogHer.  It was dubbed Home Con 13 (#HomeCon13).  It was my first real experience at a Twitter party.  While I’ve been a part of #wineparty and #spikedpunch in the past, I seriously didn’t know what I was doing and really didn’t participate all that much.  But the difference is this time I had some people in my court that were able to help me figure it all out and get the proper tools to stay with it. And it was a hoot!  It was also so popular that it was the number one thing trending on Twitter!

(For those of you that are like me and don’t know what “trending” means, it means that it was the number one thing that users on Twitter were tweeting about!)  Jenn has a very nice visual on her weekly wrap-up if you would like to see.

As a matter of fact, Home Con 13 was such a big success that we have decided that we would like to make it more of a regular thing.  Perhaps even monthly!  If you missed it, don’t despair, it will happen again.  And I have some things to help you if you are one that is not well versed in the “Twitter party” avenue.

One thing you can do is download Tweetdeck.  I always assumed this was something that you paid for, but it’s not.  Here’s what I found out about Tweetdeck after using it:
The Pros-You can separate stuff into nice, neat columns so you can see what’s going on.
The Cons-There’s nothing in this program that puts the hashtag in there for you each time.  Due to this I erred and many times I typed in homcom13, homecone13… I had several people tell me to just copy and paste it, but between the fact that my computer just plain has issues I can’t do a lot because the mouse I’m using is stolen.  Yes, my mouse had issues so I “stole” the mouse from my kids’ computer.  Shame on me-this situation will be resolved on payday, I hope.

DO NOT allow your cat to handle your social media interactions for you. wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwrf#2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222 is the kind of stuff you'll get.

DO NOT allow your cat to handle your social media interactions for you. wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwrf #2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222is the kind of stuff you’ll get.

Thanks to having the Tweetdeck, I was able to keep fairly good track of all that was happening.  It all went so fast-even with Tweetdeck there was a lot going on. So many people tweeting all at once!  But it was fun!  So many people from all over the world connecting and chatting and having a blast doing it.  Somehow I helped that happen!

Then chaos broke out.  Jenn got thrown in jail.  Then I got thrown in jail.  That’s because nothing says “party” like both of your hosts getting thrown in the slammer, right?  Not real jail of course, Twitter jail. Being thrown in Twitter jail happens when you send a certain number of texts within a certain amount of time, or follow too many people within a certain amount of time, or piss off the Twitter gods…

When it was all said and done, I may still have felt bummed for not going to Chicago and attending BlogHer, but I got to have a lot of fun without even leaving my house or having anyone come over to my place.  It’s nice to have people to talk to that understand the stuff you’ve been going through!  We know how to have a good time here!

Were you one of the lucky ducks who got to go to BlogHer?  Was there anything unusual and/or different that you would like to share from your experience?  Did you get to attend our little shindig on Friday night?  What did you think?  Did you miss out and think it sounded like fun?  Keep an eye out here on my blog or over at Jenn’s place. We’ll let you know when the next party will be held!

As close as we get to a wild and crazy conference at our house. Blogging NAKED! (Not me).

As close as we get to a wild and crazy conference at our house. Blogging NAKED! (Not me).

95 thoughts on “I Didn’t Go To BlogHer and Get Free Lubricant, But I Did Go To Jail

  1. My battery was so low by the time I saw your tweets that I couldn’t do much. I loved seeing some of your tweets though. I was laughing and laughing at you guys getting in Twitter jail and the fact that you were trending! That’s so awesome! I just finished my post about BlogHer. Not surprisingly, I wrote more about the parties and other stuff than the actual sessions.

  2. This might be the best title for a blog post ever. I was getting so annoyed with BlogHer tweets blowing up my feed. How many times did I need to see someone with the Shark vaccum.

    I am so twitter illiterate. I attempted a twitter party once and just sat there while ppl were tweeting away. I will have to check out Twitter Deck. Oh, and never knew Twitter jail existed, but it does sound bad ass.

    • I missed the Shark vacuum pictures. Should I feel deprived? If put together with the lubricant, would something unthinkable happen?

      Please come to the next Twitter party. It’s so scary when you don’t know what’s happening, but I’ll provide support to all the people just learning!

  3. I had no idea there was such a thing as Twitter jail or doing too much tweeting! Good to know. I love the idea of regular home bloggy conferences. I was at BlogHer and it was amazing. And I probably have enough lube to get me through til BlogHer ’17. 🙂

  4. I feel like I missed something big with homecon13 but I’m thinking that no one will have ANY sympathy for me, so I’ll keep my mouth shut and just wait for the next one!

  5. Two things: you did an awesome job cohosting #HomeCon13…and you shoulda come to OUR bloggy event! It involved cough syrup, funny hats, and male strippers. Oh, and bacon marmalade. You’re definitely invited for next year. ❤

    Also, how much free lube can one person use? No, never mind. Don't answer that.

  6. Well great. I didn’t go to BlogHer and I didn’t attend your Twitter party, but I also don’t have Tweetdeck, so there’s that. However, I did celebrate Swiffer Sunday, write a blog post and scoop out the cat’s crap box, so the weekend wasn’t a complete loss…right? Right?!?

  7. Home Con 13 was awesome – thank you Sarah (and Jenn) for being such fabulous hostesses. I was unfollowed by 7 people this week, and I’m pretty sure it was because they were sick of my constant tweets between 10 and 11:30 pm on Friday night. But I was followed people who were more fun anyway.

  8. love all your posts babe…so flipping funny. I missed the twitter party on Friday…maybe next time babe.

    I so have to get that lap top tray.

  9. The twitter party was brilliant! I had fun. I couldn’t believe I stayed up until midnight. That’s major. It was like the high before the low of finding out what we were really missing. Don’t you still want at least one person to write that it sucked though? So what happens in Twitter jail. I left at midnighOfive so I didn’t see it go down. Do they lock you out until the next day or what? And now dumb question of the day, that I’ve been wanting someone else to ask first – what does Home Con stand for?

  10. i didn’t go either and by late saturday had pretty much sworn off twitter for the rest of the weekend. Someday I hope to go. It sounds like an amazing place to learn and grow as a blogger.
    Maybe I’ll see you there too!

  11. I guess I’m the only one who just had no interest in attending BlogHer. Maybe that’s ’cause I know the secret of how to buy your own Lube.

  12. Hey girl! You aren’t showing up on my reader – it’s totally annoying! Anyway, I love this post!! My favorite part is the picture of you on the computer – I swear that is what I look like when I am on the computer. You are so funny!

  13. Oh man, I missed out on the lube and vibrators?

    So, what’s it like taking a shower in Twitter jail? Just don’t drop the soap right? 😉

  14. Well, I’m glad you did not go to jail alone! And it certainly made for a great post. I have to say that my favorite part of this post was “we almost ran out of cheese”. I don’t know why, but that really made me laugh. Although, if you HAD run out of cheese, that would NOT have been very funny. What is also NOT very funny is that I missed your twitter party, especially since I was probably also at home, not at BlogHer and likewise worrying about things like our household supply of cheese. On the bright side, I am glad that I did not go to twitter jail.

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  16. The blogging naked image at the end is so adorable! You know, I thought Twitter jail was a joke! I didn’t realize it actually existed until I learned that this happened to you. I’d be really proud of myself if I was the number 1 trending topic on Twitter! I’d be even prouder if I could finally say “I got thrown into jail”. 🙂 I am still trying to organize my thoughts about BlogHer into a coherent post. I’d love to share my thoughts with you.

    • She really has a pull up on there-LOL no actual nakedness! That was back when I was working for the Red Cross and I was on conference calls all the time. She wanted to be just like Mommy, even insisting I decorate her computer with sparkly flowers like mine!

  17. HomeCon13!! awesome, genius, fun! The first time I ever used the Tweetdeck thing instead of following the hashtag on “real Twitter,” I was SO amazed at how much FUN it was! That’s when the party really comes to life and it’s like a big chat room 🙂 btw, I love your post title 😀

  18. Maybe you guys could get a sponsor for the next party and they could give out a prize. Like lube. Or maybe not. That would attract a lot of pervs to the party-you know, all the ones at BlogHer13 🙂

  19. I missed it all. I’m queen of Losers. But I can throw a mean naked party when I’m solo (non-masturbatorily)

  20. No BlogHer and I didn’t even get to go to jail. I live in San Diego. BlogHer was in San Diego last year. I didn’t even go then! I’m so lame! I’m hoping it comes west next year? Let’s see… what did i do Saturday night? Oh yeah! I remember! I sat upright in a stiff chair because I havd a pinched never in my shoulder blade and my husband hosted a board game open house all day and into the night. I did not board game as I was, as mentioned, upright in a chair. In my room. I’m lame. I didn’t shower at all either;)

  21. hahahaha i did NOT go to BlogHer, I barely consider myself a blogger. just started end of January and I have NO CLUE what I’m doing. Thanks for the tips on the Twitter, I need as much help as I can get! So, when you get thrown in Twitter jail, do other Tweeters have to e-bail you out? By like vouching for your non-spammy tweets or something? How do you get out? An e-card with a picture of a cake with a file in it??

  22. I’ve always imagined Twitter jail is full of vodka and bacon. Yes? No?

    I’m thankful I was busy with my favorite party weekend of the year, so I didn’t have time to see how much fun everyone was having without me at BlogHer.

    • No vodka, no bacon. There was one lonely can of strawberita though.

      You are in luck, because HomeCon is happening again, and you have to be there! Or else! Plllleeeeeease?????

  23. Don’t feel bad! I’m in Facebook Time Out for liking too many people and leaving my own page address. I tried to appeal since I was working off the Cool People Going To BlogHer list — meaning these were people who wanted their pages liked. But no avail. I was probably flagged by a bot. They’re not known for their understanding nature.
    But I am sorry I missed the HomeCon13. If this turns into a monthly event or even weekly or biweekly — SITS hosts a Saturday morning ShareFest that’s fun — I will definitely be there with my hashtags on.
    As for BlogHer … well, you were right. To me, it did feel like the party of the year. The info sessions were good. I got a lot out of the Making the Most of Pinterest and FB session I went to. But for me, it was much more about the connections made. I was there when SOPs new bestie Martinis and Minivans who we met for the first time IRL at BH, grabbed the mike at Guy Kawasaki’s keynote and became a Twitter sensation. We were fortunate enough to invite a woman to breakfast with us before Sheryl Sandberg’s keynote … and have her turn out to be a reporter for CNN. She ended up quoting both of us for a reaction story that posted Monday. And because we were sitting with our new blogging friends, they got quoted too.
    What’s also helpful is the opportunity to get to know your blogging idols … and discovering they’re sweet as pie and eager to help you make your blog great too. I was a little nervous about asking Jen of PIWTPITT to read a few chapters of my book and write a blurb for my book proposal. But she was pleased to be asked and readily agreed. And even cooler: When someone wanted to take pix with ANOTHER blogger, she happily took on the role of photog on the spot to snap the pix. Several times. My point here is not that *I* got to run with the Big Girls. But that *anyone* can run with the Big Girls. Big Girl Bloggers are just like everyone else and very approachable, very accessible, very nice. But the only way I was able to take the Big Girl Bloggers like Jen and Nikki Knepper of Moms Who Drink and Swear off the pedestal *I’d* put them on myself, was to meet them and hang with them at BlogHer. And THAT’S what made the conference all worthwhile for me.

  24. Sadly, I was at work and missed all the action. I think I would have liked your party more anyway!

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  26. Oh sign me UP for the next #HomeCon13! I have never really figured out how to successfully participate in a Twitter party (shocking, I know, given how much I loves me some Twitter). Maybe you can hold my hand a little. But I’m keeping my clothes on! (You’re welcome.)

  27. I would love to play next time. I lost my phone at blogher so was off the radar for a whole day. Not only that, I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t post anything on Facebook or even check out what other people were doing. I’m sorry, that’s just too much multi-tasking for me. So although I can’t promise I can keep up, I would love to play!

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