Diary of a Sock: A Story of Hosiery Infidelity

secretWelcome to Take One of August’s Secret Subject Swaps. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 


My prompt was : “You are a sock that has been separated from its mate” submitted by Just A Little Nutty.

sock divorceDear Diary:

I can’t believe this is happening!  My dearest Hildegard has betrayed me.

Before the incident we spent our days rolled up together in the drawer between the underwear and the boxer shorts.  It was cozy, especially when the cat came to keep us warm.  We were happy.  Life was good.

And then HE appeared.  The envy of the sock drawer. 100% cashmere, black herringbone print. I should have known then that I was no match.  I was just a lowly 100% cotton black sock.  Why was he alone in the drawer?  Something was not right.

I had heard the rumors, the stories of other socks that had gone astray.  The crew socks that had paired up with no show socks and produced the anklets that populated our drawer.  I never thought it would happen to me.

That particular day, that fateful day when she was taken from me, we had just frolicked in the soft soggy mud down at the river.  We were filthy and wet.  Naturally we were thrown in the washer.

In recent days I had noticed her distractedness, her seemingly total lack of caring about me.

Could it be?  Had my worst nightmare come true?  She didn’t love me any longer?

As we approached the final spin cycle she spun closer and closer to HIM. I yelled out for her, and she acted as if she couldn’t hear me.  As I started to yell for her again a fitted sheet reached out and grabbed me.  I was trapped! Wrapped up within the elastic prison of the corner.

Into the dryer I went, trapped, helpless, but not alone as a pair of Barbie underpants had joined me. The heat from the dryer was soothing, but I could not rest between her incessant chatter and the breaking of my 100% cotton heart.

Finally I found some relief as I drifted off for just a moment…

Suddenly, escape!  Barbie panties and I were flipped out of the confines of our entrapment.  As I lay on the floor, I saw Hildegard across the room.

“My darling!  My dearest Hildy it is I!  Your love!  Please answer me!”

She did not answer.  She just lay there, her toe touching HIM.

And then, just like that, they were wrapped up together and gleefully tossed into the laundry basket.

“Nooooooooooooooo!”  I cried “You DON’T EVEN MATCH!”

I was relegated, broken hearted,  to the mateless sock basket.  The cold cruel world of socks with no partners.  I did not belong here.  What did I do to deserve this?

socks-without-partnersIt is horrible! The rainbow toe socks mock me.  The athletic socks are too busy high fiving each other to speak to me.  The gold toe socks are too good to speak to me.  The pantyhose knee high is so transparent that I can see right through her.  Even wise old Menghzi the wise bamboo sock offers me little help.  “He who learns but does not think is LOST!”

As I am learning, there are worse things than being dirty.

At least Dr Argyle Sockk is here to console me.  “Laddy,” he said gently in a thick Scottish accent, “You must let her go.”

I’m not ready to live my life without her.  I am ready to fight.  I just have to get Hildegard back, I just have to!

Sadly yours, Rupert the lonely sock

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there!


http://BakingInATornado.com                              Baking In A Tornado

http://themomisodes.com/                                  The Momisodes

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                           Just A Little Nutty

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                    Follow me home . . .

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/        Moore Organized Mayhem

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/           Stacy Sews and Schools

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/                 Menopausal Mother              

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                 Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                         The Insomniac’s Dream

 http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                  Searching For Sanity

 www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                         Evil Joy Speaks


35 thoughts on “Diary of a Sock: A Story of Hosiery Infidelity

  1. You make my day. This is awesome! I love it. I can totally hear the Scottish sock talking…. And you know…they may be having a long distance affair – the number of MIA sock partners in my house is simply astounding!!!!

  2. You had me at: The Divorce Rate Among My Socks and lured me in a little more when “HE appeared!!”. I feel like I haven’t gotten enough of Wise Old Mengzhi. I hope he gets a spin off. You write sock opera like no one else!

  3. after I cleaned the coffee off my laptop…and stopped laughing, I had to read it again. What a great story from a prompt. First it was toy story where I worry about Dino’s toys coming to life, then the food after reading Food Fight. Now I am worried about my poor socks, LOL

  4. Amazing perspective on this post. I laughed myself right off the couch. I think we should see about a patent for your brain.

  5. You are TOTALLY coming to my house to watch “Sock Divorce Court” and then “Sock Wife Swap”. Can you hear the sound of money? Everyone can relate. My orphan sock box is over flowing. Perhaps int’s time to pour it out and see if I can’t find any matched loves. You rockd the prompt, as usual 🙂

  6. My heart breaks for Rupert. But maybe it’s for the best that Hildy is gone. When she figures out this new guy isn’t her match she’ll be tossed in the basket as well. She’ll have to fight her way past all of Rupert’s new friends and he can have the upper hand… toe.

  7. So glad you had those Barbie undies to keep you company for a little while. I hope you can find peace with yourself and maybe even find a new mate in the near future. :0)

  8. I say one big mismatched sock orgy. That will cheer dear Rupert up and fast. Very creative, Sarah! I don’t know what I would have done with that prompt. Probably cried in my socks!

  9. Pingback: Diary of a Sock: A Story of Hosiery Infidelity...

  10. You are very clever! I just learned last year that many of the missing socks are between the washer barrel and the washer frame (or whatever it’s called). If the washer is too full, water and small pieces of clothing can overflow and fall into that in-between. Blew my mind!

  11. But it’s so warm and cozy in the dryer… how could anything so horrid happen there! I feel so bad, maybe I have a friend for her here? Loved – loved. Sharing the heck out of this one chica!

  12. Pingback: Weekly Wrap-Up: The Employed Edition | The Sadder But Wiser Girl

  13. The ending of your tale left me feeling a lot sadder…but a little wiser…

    I enjoyed your creative take on this epidemic!

  14. It seems as though my socks try to escape my feet and end up folded in the stack of T-Shirts more than not. At one time I thought that the ghosts in the house had cold feet and took one every now and again to keep warm. I tried to blame the cats, later, but found they would give those socks thrown in the floor a great distance for some reason (smell???). Great Post!

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