August 2013 Fly on the Wall: The Free Fat Edition

flyGood morning blogging land! It’s time for a buzzing good time!  Today fifteen bloggers are inviting you into their homes to catch a glimpse of what you’d see and hear if you were a fly on the wall of their house.  Come on in and buzzzzzzzzzzzz around my house!

Time to get ready and share some funny… let me get stretched out and loosened up…I’ve got to admit I’ve missed a lot of opportunities this past month.  I know there have been many more moments than this, I’ve just been extremely busy!  This one is short for a post written by me.  Maybe that’s a good thing?

Both of my children participated in t-ball this summer.  This meant many bathroom trips, and the facilities at this particular location are way up at the top of a hill.  The second or third trip of the evening brought extra entertainment to anyone who happened to walk by when my daughter happened to be in there.  She was singing at the top of her lungs:  “Dancing on the pole, dancing on the pole, I’m dancing on the pole…”

For those of you who are thinking that we encourage the wrong kind of thing, I’ll inform you that there is a bar on the wall to help people get off the potty in this particular bathroom.  Apparently she thinks this is a pole that you dance on.  Sorry to disappoint anyone…

Just in case you were thinking that YOUR kids were weird, think again.  My kids wanted their picture taken with the "cute little fridge" at Wal-Mart.  The Professor brought socks.

Just in case you were thinking that YOUR kids were weird, think again. My kids wanted their picture taken with the “cute little fridge” at Wal-Mart. The Professor brought socks.

One Saturday morning my son came out of the shower and said this to me:
“Mom, I’ll take an English muffin.  I want colby jack cheese on it.  Toasted.”
Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that I was living at Subway…

My phone has been giving me a lot of trouble again.  I’m trying to avoid throwing it against a wall.  It gets too hot, locks up, or like yesterday it chooses to call random people like our utility company.  Last weekend I was on my way to pick up Evil Genius.  My phone chose this time to completely lock up on me, no matter how many times I removed the battery, blew on the inside of it, or cussed at it.

It eventually decided to power on, only it wasn’t quite working right.  I have recently discovered the Talk to Text feature, and was trying to send my husband the message that I would be pulling up to his location very soon.  It didn’t seem to understand anything I told it.  As a matter of fact, the results it was returning were no less than hilarious.

Me being me, I had to put the phone to the test.  I started shouting random words and phrases at it.  Some it half understood and some it didn’t get at all.  I totally lost it when I yelled “Stingalingadingdangdong” at it, and after it thought a long time about it, the phrase registered as “Hang a dong”.

Mommy, I'm an "M"!

Mommy, I’m an “M”!

Only in my house will you hear this:  “Good night dear.  I’m going upstairs to study quantum physics.”

The Princess couldn’t wait to show me what she had found at the checkout lane at Target.  She pointed to a box of fruit snacks.  She exclaimed excitedly “Look Mommy, free fat!!!!!!

The Professor managed to break his glasses AGAIN, this time by swinging them around by the earpiece while running them to the car so he wouldn’t break them (Yes I’m well aware of the irony here too…)  We went to the glasses place after a few days of being without.  The nice ladies once again put the poor things together for him.  The Professor put them on his face, beamed and yelled: “Look everyone, I’m ME again!”

I asked The Princess what she likes best about kindergarten.  “Mrs Johnson has LOTS of Polly Pockets and a Huge Littlest Pet Shop town.”  Yup, we know the way to her heart!

The Professor has been eating Frosted Mini Wheats for breakfast.  Of course we buy the generic Malt O Meal ones since it’s pretty much the same thing.  For those of you that don’t have to buy that stuff, Malt O Meal cereals come in a big bag instead of a box for the most part.  For some reason, Wal-Mart had it in boxes for $1 so of course I bought it.
He most enjoyed this when I brought it out for breakfast the following morning:
“It’s a bag of cereal wearing a box disguise!”

I can't help but laugh every time I see this picture.  It's just too funny!  This is from our state fair.

I can’t help but laugh every time I see this picture. It’s just too funny!

I know I’ve been scarce these days, but rest assured that if nothing else, this new position I have taken over will bring plenty of fodder for Fly on the Wall.  At the preschool storytime yesterday I announced that it was snacktime.  A little boy exclaimed “Oh thank goodness, I’m HUNGRY!  Do you have french fries?”

Don’t you forget about all the other houses you can buzz on over to!  Go check out what flies on the wall might have to hear at these abodes:                                     Baking In A Tornado                                Just a Little Nutty                          Follow me home . . .             Stacy Sews and Schools                              The Sadder But Wiser Girl                   Menopausal Mother           Moore Organized Mayhem                           The Insomniac’s Dream                                        The Momisodes                      Spatulas on Parade                          Dates 2 Diapers          Sorry kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others                                The Rowdy Baker                                       Trashy Blog                                    Barbara & 1923

38 thoughts on “August 2013 Fly on the Wall: The Free Fat Edition

  1. I’ll pass on the free fat! LOL
    I about died laughing over your phone!!!! HILARIOUS!! The phone I had last year kept changing the word rabbits into rabbis. I was trying to tell The Hubby that there was a new rabbit in the yard. He texts back, “I wasn’t aware that we had an old rabbi!”

  2. Damn. I dropped my son off at college yesterday and forgot to have my picture taken with his mini fridge before I left. Of course I forgot to sing about dancing on a poll too. What’s wrong with me?

  3. “Dancing on the pole, dancing on the pole, I’m dancing on the pole…” I LOVE it! That is just excellent and then you got to hang a dong.
    Is it a little sad that I was instantly replacing the words to bang a gong with hang a dong?
    It is a rather catchy tune. 😉
    I love that sweet family of yours… mini fridge and all.

  4. Where do I start? I love the bag/box of cereal story. I always buy the bags and the kids say I’d buy the boxes if I loved them more…
    Your “Stingalingadingdangdong” line would so happen to me; probably at the in laws…
    I’m absolutely taking a pic of my kids standing in front of the soda fridge at Walmart. You can start a new trend!

  5. Oh this cracked me up! And glad to know I’m not the only one who wants to throw my phone against the wall on a daily basis. I think mine is because I have an almost 1-year old drooling on it all the time. hehe

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  7. Aw, “look, mommy, I’m me again”! That made my night! What a sweetheart! Did that adorable comment make up for breaking the glasses? And I am laughing so hard about the pic with the mini-fridge. Just the other day, my daughter was absolutely obsessed with the refrigerator that held the bags of ice in the grocery store.

  8. I’d love to post a rediculously clever and insightful comment here (your post deserves it)… But, I smiled at the pole dancing, was laughing by the time I go to the fridge photo and… I’ve got nothing but smiles left! Thanks!

  9. Pingback: Weekly Wrap-Up: The Forgetful Edition | The Sadder But Wiser Girl

  10. Sarah,
    Your kids are EEEP ADORABLE! I love that they wanted their photo taken at Walmart with the cute fridge. And quantum physics. And she’s an M. Awesome. Sorry your phone is being such a jerk. hang a dong!

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