October 2013 Fly on the Wall: The Big Dork Edition

Welcome to this month’s edition of Fly on the Wall! Today 14 bloggers are inviting you to catch a glimpse of what you’d see if you were a fly on the wall in our homes. Come on in and buzz around my house!  When you’re done buzzing and getting into my poop, be sure to check out the posts by other bloggers by clicking on one (or two, or thirteen!) of the links at the bottom.

I want to apologize in advance for the short length of this post.  Ok, it’s short for ME, anyway.  There have been about 5,726 times that funny things have been said lately in or around this house.  Only a handful of times have I had the brains to stop and write it down.  And my memory isn’t so good these days.  As a matter of fact, I had to consult with my Facebook statuses to remember what HAD been said. So I am putting my right hand over my heart and my left hand on my copy of You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth (because I’m not sure where my bible is) and hereby solemnly swearing to do a better job of capturing funniness for next month!

We’re trying on our cold weather gear so I know what we need to keep our eyes out for at the thrift stores.The Princess tries on her pink peace symbol jacket with the fake sherpa lining., which sadly is too small.

“It’s too tight,” she says with a frown, and starts to take it off. “The white stuff on the inside is soooo soft though.”

Me: “Yes, like a sheep, huh?”

The Princess: “No, like cottage cheese, except without all that wet stuff.”

Yerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr OUT!

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The Professor came walking in with a notebook.  “This is my new book to sketch in.”  He announces.  He opened and exclaimed “Hey there are coupons in here!”

I cautioned him to not get too excited and check the dates.  “They’re all expired!  These are from 2010!” He exclaimed, obviously disappointed.

“That’s because a lot of those old notebooks are from when your dad was in college.”

There was a pause.  Then The Princess chimed in “DADDY WENT TO COLLEGE????”

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And now it is time for a haiku:

there is a hole in
the butt of my yoga pants
sadness fills my day

I know, don’t quit my day job…

Oh…I got new hair. It looked like that for at least 5 hours too!

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The Princess: “I think daddy needs to rebuild our basement.”

Me:  “Why?”

“Because it’s creepy and I don’t like it down there.”

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I actually remembered to pick up the Sunday paper this weekend. I handed the Fleet Farm Toy Land insert to The Professor, who instantly went crazy. He and his sister spent the evening circling everything they wanted in the catalog.

The Professor: “I hope you don’t mind, but I circled a grenade launcher in here.”

Because every kid needs a grenade launcher, right?

As I perused it later, I see that he also circled the safety goggles to go with it…

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The Professor said something to which Evil Genius replied with some sort of sarcastic remark.

“Heyyyyy….” said The Princess, “Is that starcasm?”

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The Princess:  “Mommy I will always always always love you.  Even when I’m 29.”

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The Professor comes walking out of the bathroom, holding his fingers in the Vulcan greeting position.  “In Vulcan this means live long and prosper.  But in English, it means you’re a great big dork.”

The Professor doing what he loves…

Hey!  Where are you going?  Get back here right now!  Now, click on some of these links and see what the poop is happening at their houses!

http://BakingInATornado.com     Baking In A Tornado

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/   Just a Little Nutty

http://followmehome.shellybean.com     Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/  Menopausal Mother

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/  Moore Organized Mayhem

http://www.theinsomniacsdream.com/ The Insomniac’s Dream    

http://themomisodes.com/  The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/  Spatulas on Parade

http://www.therowdybaker.com  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.trashyblog.com/  Trashy Blog

http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com   Dates 2 Diapers

http://sorrykidblog.com/  Sorry kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others