Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My…Purse (At Target)

guinea pig dream

This weekend I have been busily preparing for a library event that will occur on Monday afternoon.  There is no school in our district tomorrow, and since we are trying to hold more programs when there are early outs and no school, I devised this idea of having a day of “fall fun”.  I told kids to BYOP-Bring Your Own Pumpkin-to decorate.  There will also be hot apple cider in my crockpot, some crafts, some little games, and kids are allowed to wear their costumes.  Fun, right?

I am freaking out.

I have no idea what kind of turn out there will be and whether or not we will be able to keep them occupied.  When I obsess over things, I tend to a) Not sleep at all b) Have bizarre dreams c)  Sleep some and have bizarre dreams when I do sleep.

I have a feeling I’ll be having some sort of weird dream or two tonight.  And in anticipation of that I started putting together a post of dreams.  After I have weird dreams I write down what I remember in a draft here on WordPress.  As I looked through my site, I saw I had quite a few drafts.  I figured that I hadn’t written about any of my weirdo dreams in quite a while.  Those of you who have followed my blog for quite some time may recall that yeah, I have had some dreams that are pretty freaky!

What kind of dreams?  Well, for example, earlier this year in an obvious attempt by my psyche to prepare for the CMT Awards (which I didn’t watch) I had a dream about Blake Shelton.

Ok you horndogs, not THAT kind of dream…

For those of you who are new to my blog, this is the part where you will probably want to stop following me and run and hide lest you let people know that you follow a weirdo like me.

So for you who are not too afraid to keep reading here is a brief synopsis of the dream:

I dreamed that Blake Shelton was married to Sandra Bullock.  They moved here and bought a farm near me. Then they adopted a girl from China and enrolled her at the preschool that I worked at. Only it wasn’t a preschool, yet it WAS a preschool, in a Kmart.

I only hesitated to share this previously because I am deathly afraid of Miranda Lambert coming here and bashing my head in with her guitar.  She could totally do that because I’m convinced that she’s somehow related to Christopher Lambert…

A couple of weeks ago I dreamed that I had to go to my child’s elementary school with my husband. In my pajamas. When I returned home, I saw that my cat was missing part of her tail.  It was gone-chopped off.  I started bawling.  “My poor cat!”  I cried as a stepped into my living room group shower. All the while tornado sirens were going off.  The sky was black.  But you know I had to take that shower RIGHT THEN.

(You’d really think that whole living room shower thing would have made me realize that “Hey, this is a DREAM!”  Nope.  I never realize it until I wake up.)

I’ve also had dreams that involved me traveling around with a cat in my purse and going to someone’s house and leaving with one of their shoes and one of my shoes on my feet.

dream meaningIf my psyche really does have something to say, here are some facts according to my dreams:

All roads lead to Target (I really do have a lot of dreams about Target, it’s kind of disturbing when you think about it.)

Tony Stark is an excellent dancer.  We also volunteer together on a regular basis (Don’t ask, I don’t get it either.)

Toilets are only in the middle of rooms.

School and work are places that I am always going but never actually get to.  However, a lot of times I wind up at Target.  Shocker.

Random celebrities help me break into buildings.

Veterinarians drive “veterinarian vans” that are fully furnished on the inside.  Yes, at Target.

Hidden trap doors are common escape routes in your house.

My husband is going to find out that deep dark secret that apparently I keep under the pillow in my bedroom.

Nudity is not the exception to the rule, even at Target.

What kind of weird dreams do YOU have?  Are celebrities involved?  I’d love to hear all about it…


Is she going to have bizarre dreams like me when she grows up?

24 thoughts on “Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My…Purse (At Target)

  1. oh my word, cracking up over here. Not scared at all, more like intrigued:) Super cool. I love dreams. I dreamt last night that my son’s girlfriend and her friend down the street had code names on their rooftops so from an aerial view you could see on top Maddy’s house her code name rainbow and on top of her friends house the code name snail. There was way more to the dream but I will stop with the code names on their rooftops.

  2. You know that dream where you left your friend’s house with one of your shoes and one of hers? That one came true! Now I’m waiting for my Sean Connery dream to come true . . .

  3. Such a funny post! I suffer from the classic anxiety dream about not being prepared for a test or final, but over the years I’ve gone from being the student to being the professor who is trying to write the test at that last minute. Must be age.

  4. I’ve been dreaming about blogging and work. And not having enough time (shocker). Your dreams are much more awesome. Oh and mine often involve cliffs that I have to keep my son from falling off.

    • I have those too, especially when things are stressful around here. I think I must block them from my mind after a little while, unless of course it involves them running down a hill into Target.

  5. Wow! I could imagine what your dreams would be like when going to bed drunk or high! My dreams are all over the place too but I usually forget most. I wouldn’t mind dreaming about Sandra Bullock though!

  6. I have some pretty bizarre dreams too. My husband got me a dream analysis book and it’s pretty interesting but it only gives me bits and pieces of information to explain my crazy. I did a post once about dream analysis where I posted one of my dreams and invited others to analyze it and share theirs. I was going to do a series. It turned out to be a one off because nobody wanted to touch mine (what were they gonna say? “Uh…lady…you’re cray cray”) and because they didn’t want to reveal their crazy, but I think it’s excellent. I love hearing about other people’s dreams. Keep ’em comin’! And? The hamster cracked me up!

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