Fly on the Wall November 2013: The Princess Edition II

flyWelcome to the November 2013 edition of the Fly on the Wall.  I hope you’re ready to buzz into our house and see what’s going on here.  I promise you two things:  a)  I won’t swat you because you are a guest in our house and b)  We will do our best to entertain you.  This post is being simultaneously posted along with twelve others.  So please, enjoy yourself and then visit some of the other blogs listed at the bottom of this post!

The Princess presents her "Thanksgiving Feast!

The Princess presents her “Thanksgiving Feast! Can you tell what is what?

This post exclusively belongs to the Princess.  This is the second such post that she has starred in.  Yes there are other people that live in our house, but she far outnumbers the rest of us in quotes, funnies, and imagination. Here is just a sample of what I hear at our house.  And this was just the stuff I remembered to write down!

Grandma was sewing The Princess’s Halloween costume.  She was telling The Princess how she learned to sew when she was her age, and that she had taught her younger sister and some of her nieces how to sew when they were quite young as well.

Grandma:  “When I taught your aunt to sew, I taught her to sew by hand.”

Princess:  “You taught her to sew up her hands?????”

Grandma finishing up The Princess's tutu for her costume.  No hands were sewn in the making of this costume.

Grandma finishing up The Princess’s tutu for her costume. No hands were sewn in the making of this costume.

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I have a couple of shows I watch religiously.  Often I just dvr them and hope to watch them at night after the kids are in bed.  However sometimes we just try to watch them while the kids are in the room.  We were trying to watch an episode of The Big Bang Theory that I had dvr’d the previous week.  Two minutes into the show, The Princess starts chattering so loud we can’t hear it.

Evil Genius pauses the show and says”You have ten seconds to get anything you need to off your chest.”  Meaning of course that she says what she needs to say.

And what happens?  Both kids immediately look down and stare at their chests…

We have this recurring problem with the little kitty turning off the power strip behind the tv.  The Princess tried to put a stop to this madness.  She made signs and put them all over the living room.  I told her kitties can't read.  So she drew a picture as a visual aid.

We have this recurring problem with the little kitty turning off the power strip behind the tv. The Princess tried to put a stop to this madness. She made signs and put them all over the living room. I told her kitties can’t read. So she drew a picture as a visual aid.

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“Mommy some cheese dip is made out of something called sequin.”

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It is November, which in Iowa is also known as winter.  Since the beginning of the less than nice weather, The Princess has already lost four winter hats.  FOUR of them!  For the first time ever, I could actually say that The Professor is better at keeping track of something that his sister is.

We aren’t having any more problems with the hats.  How did I manage to get her to start keeping track of them?

“You really need to keep better track of your pretty hats.  If you keep losing them, I’ll make you start wearing ugly BOY hats!”

For those of you who don’t know my daughter, her reaction was roughly like that of Luke Skywalker when Darth Vader revealed that he is his father…

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“I think the next time we go to Grandma’s house we should see if she has some wood and build some woodpecker houses.”
“Ok, but we could probably do that here.”  I replied.
“No… we have to go to Ottumwa because it’s kind of close to China.”

Ms Imagination:  Turned a corner of her room into a "living area" as she calls it.  She and her pillow pets are watching tv, can't you tell?  (She even drew a tv).

Ms Imagination: Turned a corner of her room into a “living area” as she calls it. She and her pillow pets and dolls are watching tv, can’t you tell? (She even drew a tv).

The Princess comes barreling down the stairs one evening:  “Mommy!” she yells “What do my lips smell like????”  She totally couldn’t get why I wouldn’t smell her lips.

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Our Princess did not get her way over something, probably that she wanted chocolate for the 40th time that day.  Angrily, she went up to her room and started playing her instruments while singing very loudly.  What song was she playing?  The Imperial march…

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An observation by our resident expert:  “I know why most towns have water towers.  So you know what town you’re in!”

She sure loves her brother.  I hope she still will be so quick to say that in a few years!

She sure loves her brother. I hope she still will be so quick to say that in a few years!

Had enough?  Want more?  Then fly yourself right over to the blogs below that are also open for business!  Want to get in on the action next month?  Then go visit Karen at Baking in a Tornado for the scoop on the poop.  See what I did there?  Flies?  Poop?  LOL!

http://BakingInATornado.com                                     Baking In A Tornado

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just a Little Nutty

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/                  Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                                     Menopausal Mother

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/                Moore Organized Mayhem

http://themomisodes.com/                                 The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                      Spatulas on Parade

http://www.therowdybaker.com                              The Rowdy Baker

http://sorrykidblog.com/                       Sorry kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others

http://momsdontsaythat.com                            Moms Don’t Say That

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                      Juicebox Confession

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Football, Food and Fashion Sense

This is from a game we attended last year.  I'm not sure why my children look so scared in this picture...

This is from a game we attended last year. I’m not sure why my children look so scared in this picture…

We’re lucky enough to be able to attend college football games as one of the perks of my husband’s workplace.  It’s a win-win situation for us because:

1)  We get extra exercise because we have to park a half hour away to avoid paying for parking.

2)  Free food!  Not just any food-junk food like nachos and all kinds of fried food.

3)  Free entertainment and shelter!  Music, satellite TV, and an RV to sit in when it’s too cold.  (This is BEFORE the game).

4)  Oh yeah, we also get to watch college football live.  (This is the least exciting part for everyone except for Evil Genius).

Not a creepy bird drinking grape Sunkist, it's a mask of our mascot Cy.

It’s not a creepy bird drinking grape Sunkist, it’s a mask of our mascot Cy.

I’ve learned a few things about how to prepare for these events.  Mostly hair related things.  In particular

1)  Never leave for a football game in Iowa with wet hair.  Ever.  Just don’t do it.

2)  Always have the appropriate hair attire with you lest you be forced to purchase an extremely expensive piece of hair equipment like this:

IMG_24643)  No matter what the weather forecast is, bring 1000 layers of clothing, blankets, and a winter coat. Apparently football stadiums and the surrounding area have their own climate.

4)  Bring your own beverages.  This applies if you dislike beer, Pepsi products and anything that isn’t lemonade flavored.  You know, if you’re a weirdo like me.

This last week hardly anyone signed up for tickets.  This is because our team has been losing.  Not by a little bit, we’re talking losing badly!  Therefore we got to go AGAIN this week.  Whoa.  As a matter of fact, I could hardly stand it because we actually got to do two entertaining things on consecutive days, since we’d gone to see Thor 2 the night before.  My heart almost can’t take this kind of stuff…

As we were walking across campus to get to the game on this particular brisk November morning, I couldn’t help but notice that all of the college girls were dressed the same.  Apparently there is some sort of dress code for university football games.  Black leggings and UGG boots. Not just any boots, UGG brand boots.  You know, the really expensive ones that are supposed to be pillows for your feet?

I was a little, ok, a lot nervous when I got to the gate.  I thought for sure that I was going to be turned away on account of my boot cut thrift store jeans and my New Balance running shoes (because I look so young you know).  Luckily, I must have gotten a really lenient ticket taking person.  Whew!

Then I remembered, I’m not a twenty year old college student.  That explains a lot.

Since then, after a trip to Target and digging through my closet I am happy to report that for once I am actually on the cutting edge of fashion.  I now own my very own outfit that would render me pretty much inconspicuous if I ever had to go undercover as a college student.  Tell, what do you think?

ugh

I’m a fashion plate, right?

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: Tell Me A Story!

twisted mixtape tuesdayHere it is almost Tuesday again and time for another Twisted Mixtape Tuesday post full o’ fun.  The theme this week is one that I kind of sort of maybe suggested and got used:  Songs That Tell A Story.

So if it was my grand idea, why am I having such a hard time coming up with songs?

While I sat around and thought, my husband beat me to the punch this week and was not only the first one linked up this week for TMT, it was also his first ever blog post.  Sadly, this debut post got more reads and comments than mine in my first three months of blogging combined.  Sad?

But seriously, I was the one that suggested this theme so I’ve got to play.  My list that I had in the beginning was sadly unoriginal. Come on, EVERYBODY thinks of American Pie  when they think of songs that tell a story.  But does everybody think of the Weird Al lyrics like I do?  No?  Just me???

blank cassette (4)But I digress…  After some thought and a little digging around in my Itunes I came up with a few songs that really do tell a story.  We have to start this list with Simon and Garfunkel, because it wouldn’t be right to start off this theme without my friends Paul and Art.

The Boxer-Simon and Garfunkel

We couldn’t have songs that tell stories without a little Manilow.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m not a fan.  But I do love this song…

Copacabana-Barry Manilow

Country songs kept coming up and I kept a lot of them from this list, because you could have a list a mile long of country songs. This one by Kenny Chesney is on of my favorites.  And moms and dads of little girls-I dare you to not shed a tear when you listen to the last verse…

There Goes My Life-Kenny Chesney

Back in the 80s, in the early days of MTV, I heard this song 3 billion times.  It tells a story and I can tell you every word of it because it’s imbedded in my memory.

Come Dancing-The Kinks

Why is it that Paula Cole is more remembered for her lack of shaving than for her actual music?  I hear this song, I think of her armpits, it’s just that simple.  But I assure you there is a story here that has nothing whatsoever to do with underarms or unshaven pits.

I Don’t Want To Wait-Paula Cole

Here’s something a lot more recent and with much less armpit hair but just as much storyline.  Most of Carrie Underwood’s songs tell tales, this one is no exception.

Blown Away-Carrie Underwood

What songs do you think tell a great (or maybe not so great) story?  Share your songs in the comments or make your own mix to link up!  See what stories others have to tell (and maybe add your own!) by clicking on the Twisted Mixtape Tuesday button at the top!

Weekly Wrap-Up: The I Totally Forgot To Do A Wrap-Up Last Week Edition

always-forgetful-or-just-too-many-thoughts-to-rememberHey guess WHAT???? With the Halloween fallout last weekend I totally forgot to do one of these little wrap-ups!  And then this week I had a sick kid with an ear infection and all kinds of other things to keep me away from the internets.  So you get double the fun this week, not that there was that much to read but hey, humor me…

Two weeks ago we found our heroine preparing for Halloween…

Tuesday  Twisted Mixtape Tuesday:  Songs From The Big Scare  Because it was Halloween week, the theme was scary songs.  I don’t like to be scared, so this is the next best thing.

Wednesday Halloween Whine With Lots of (Cheap) Cheese  Like you still need costume ideas…  maybe you are going to a Thanksgiving costume party.  Right???

Thursday  Seven Things My Kids Have Taught Me About  Halloween  It’s not all about the things you can pin…

Just one of the things I learned this year...

Just one of the things I learned this year…

This past week there was sickness and badness and workiness and some other stuff…

Tuesday TMT Free For All: Stuff My Husband Makes Me Listen To  I’m supposed to be the music person in this relationship!!!  And yet he’s the one expanding my mind.

Friday Revelations of a Weenie:  What Scared Me The Most (But I Lived and Got Over It)  My prompt was all about what scares me the most.  Read on…

I'd say they were worth the scariness...

I’d say they were worth the scariness…

Stuff I Really Loved This Week

I really didn’t do much reading, AGAIN.  But a few things caught my eye that I of course had to read (really quickly.)

15 Things That My Friends Without Kids are Thinking When They Visit My House-Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva  I was thinking about this AGAIN as I was scrubbing toothpaste off of every surface in my bathroom and the poop smear off the toilet.  Yeah…

Jedi Names-Parenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures  LOL.  That is all…

Best and Most Disturbing Search Terms

And just think, you get TWO weeks worth of these.  You may or may not find it funny that people used these very terms to find my blog!

Darth Vader sitting on couch

Darth-Holiday-04

This made me curious, so I tried to find a picture of Darth sitting on a couch. This was as close as I could come… Hey, Vader’s gotta relax too!

I made myself incontinent

Uncontrollable hairs

big hair senior pictures

no tp

pooping ice cream grown-ups

evil murder pumpkins

is ziggy cheaper than lowes or home depot  Who is ziggy????

Hey I'll sell you those home improvement parts for really cheap!

Hey I’ll sell you those home improvement parts for really cheap!

Next Week

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday will feature songs that tell a story.  it was my idea, so I had better share some excellent tuneage, right?  I’ll also share the story of how I am almost trendy when it comes to fashion, almost.  Otherwise, I’ll be discovering a new element and making some significant contributions to the world of scientific research.  Not really, but it sounds good, right?  Have a most excellent rest of your weekend!

They're supposedly doing a new Bill and Ted, so only appropriate to add to the "excellent" end of my post...

Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (They’re supposedly doing a new Bill and Ted, so only appropriate to add to the “excellent” end of my post…)

Revelations of a Weenie: What Scared Me The Most (But I Lived and Got Over It)

secretWelcome to the first round of this month’s Secret Subject Swap.  Can’t you hear the Mission Impossible theme song in the background?  That’s right, it’s about time I put all of that flute knowledge to good use!  Twelve bloggers and myself are simultaneously releasing our posts into the wild.  Once you’re done with my post, please please pretty please follow the links at the bottom and read their stories!  Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.  Oh wait, you don’t pay to read these! How about your satisfaction is guaranteed or I will make silly faces to make you laugh, or at least pretend that you can see me through the computer…

My prompt is “What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?”  It was submitted by Moore Organized Mayhem.

Upon sitting down to write this, I turned to my husband and asked him “What do you suppose the scariest thing I’ve ever done is?”

He immediately replied:  “You married me.”

(By the way, I knew he was going to say that.)

Hey I DID have a waist at one time...

Hey I DID have a waist at one time…

In some respects that is very scary, but not the scariest thing I’ve  ever done.

Having kids.  That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever done.

Picture me years ago when I was but a young newly wedded lass.  I was terrified of the idea of having kids, not because I didn’t want them, but because I’m a weenie.  I was frightened of the whole pregnancy thing and the way it changes a woman’s body as it was.  But the thought of enduring the actual childbirth scared the pee out of me.  I don’t like pain of any kind, and really who does?

Since I was so terrified of the prospect of childbirth, naturally I got pregnant on the first try.  Once we decided we wanted a baby those sperm apparently couldn’t wait to get to their destination.  And even though I had finally decided it was worth the scariness and done the deed I was so freaked out by the idea of the actual labor that I didn’t want to hear ANY stories about childbirth.  I’m not saying that people didn’t still try to tell me, I was just one step away from sticking my fingers in my ears and singing at the top of my lungs at all times.  Being the wuss that I am I elected to take the breastfeeding preparation classes but declined to take the childbirth classes because I DID NOT want to know what was going to happen.  I mean, I knew WHAT was going to happen, I just didn’t want any details.

When I planned the whole birth thing, I was asked whether or not I was going to have drugs for the pain. I said SIGN ME UP.  Give me everything you have.  And I was still freaking out right up until the bitter end.

When I went into labor with The Professor, he had to announce his impending arrival with grand fashion.  My water broke all over the kitchen floor, only I didn’t know it, because I was gushing blood all over the house.  Nice, huh?  My husband calmly called the hospital, and they sent paramedics out to my house.

Oh, add to that we were having a blizzard at the time.

When they arrived, I was laying on the kitchen floor wrapped up in a blanket.  They came in and did their thing, but were having a hard time hearing the baby’s heartbeat.  Of course I was concerned about this, but I was also concerned about the state I would be arriving at the hospital in.  When I was informed that I would be taken by ambulance I had to inform them of the news:

“I’m not wearing any underwear!”  I said worriedly.

To which the female paramedic responded “Oh that’s okay honey, I’m not either.”

So we traveled by ambulance to the hospital.  In a blizzard.  And the freezing cold.

And yes, they found the baby’s heartbeat just fine.

Here I was so scared about the pain, but that’s not the part I really remember.  It’s funny how your mind works like that!  I do remember that I was in labor for fourteen hours.  I know that when they did the epidural that my husband got really weirded out.

After fourteen hours of labor the doctor pretty much walked in and caught the little guy as he was on his way out.  And he was cute.  Very, very cute.  Not all smooshed like a lot of newborns look (no offense to anyone who had a smooshed looking baby-they do get cuter).  All the nurses were in love with him.  And so were we.

As you already know, he came out just fine...

He came out just fine, but you knew that.

It obviously went okay, because I decided to do it a second time three years later.  With this one, I certainly do remember the pain.  Maybe it was because I was in labor with The Princess for what seemed like two weeks before my due date.  The doctor told me that if I didn’t have her by my due date that they would take pity on me and induce me. Nice.

I went into the hospital a few hours early because I was so miserable I couldn’t stand it, and they decided to try breaking my water around 8 am to see if this would get things moving.  It worked.  This angered my daughter, and she decided that she had to come right then, because according to Evil Genius they had “drained her pool”.  They couldn’t get that anesthesiologist in there fast enough.  I mean, he made it, but not fast enough for my taste.  I’d had a nice dose of morphine in the meantime.  Morphine=good stuff.

And that was that.  The Princess arrived.  She was more smooshed looking than The Professor, but got much cuter as time went on.  Which was a very good thing, because she rarely slept and cried a bunch… The fact I couldn’t walk or turn my neck for quite some time afterwards meant that yeah, cuteness was definitely on her side.

She came out okay too.  But more importantly, don't I look sexy in that hospital gown?

She came out okay too. But more importantly, don’t I look sexy in that hospital gown?

I survived the thing that scared me most-childbirth.  But the scariest thing that has ever happened to me has been simply having children.  It has also been the most wonderful thing that has happened too.  It continues to be wonderful, and scary, every single day.

Here are the links to the other participants in this round of the Secret Subject Swap.  Please check their posts out too!

http://BakingInATornado.com                        Baking In A Tornado

http://themomisodes.com/                         The Momisodes

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                     Just A Little Nutty

http://followmehome.shellybean.com              Follow me home . . .

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/    Moore Organized Mayhem

http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                       The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://crazyasnormal.com                                     Crazy As Normal

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                   Searching for Sanity

http://dawnsdisaster.blogspot.com                           Dawn’s Disaster

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                               Menopausal Mother

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                           Evil Joy Speaks

What?  You're still here?  Go read some other posts or I'll get you with my glowy claws!  RAWR!

What? You’re still here? Go read some other posts or I’ll get you with my glowy claws! RAWR!

TMT Free For All: Stuff My Husband Makes Me Listen To

twisted mixtape tuesdayToday is another Free for All on Twisted Mixtape Tuesday.  Whatever we want.  That could be truly scary, to be honest. 

Truth be told, the only music I seem to be cranking lately is the ambient music on my laptop waiting for that sweet sleep to come to me late at night.

So my husband has to keep me in the loop with music.  In my gmail inbox nestled in the accepted invitations to my annual exam (not because he’s planning on coming, just so it’s on his calendar) and reminders of boring stuff like flu shots are the occasional YouTube videos.  These remind me that I should really remember to turn on Pandora once in awhile.

Hey, I’m supposed to be the music person in this relationship!  But among the things he can do that I can’t, like quantum physics and reaching the stuff on top of the refrigerator easily, is that he can listen to music AND do other things at the same time.  This simply is not possible for me…

Damn my ADD.  Must.Have.Silence.  Or at least something with no words.  So if there is music, ambient music it is.

Therefore I thought that this would be a GREAT Free For All.  Stuff my husband sends me, or at least comes home and turns on and makes me listen to.

blank cassette (3)This first one, as a matter of fact, came today.  This band is kick butt.  And if you recall, I have an appreciation for acoustic versions of songs.  This works.

The Diary of Jane (Acoustic Version)-Breaking Benjamin

One night he turned this on.  I don’t remember this being from The Social Network, but it’s been on my radar before.

Creep-Scala Choir

Which reminds me, he’s also the one who introduced me to these guys…

Smooth Criminal-2Cellos

And this…

Crystallize-Lindsey Stirling

As much of a Linkin Park fan as I am, I had no idea that Mike Shinoda had other irons in the fire, like this one.

Where’d You Go-Fort Minor

And then for something completely different.  You know the “What Does The Fox Say” guys have done other stuff?  Including this one, not to be confused with the Spinal Tap song, k?

Stonehenge-Ylvis

I’d heard the song, but hadn’t seen the video.  It’s a bit weird…

Imagine Dragons-Radioactive

Does your significant other introduce you to new music, or find you versions of things you like that you didn’t know about?  I’m extremely lucky!  Now… back to my ambient music…