Flaming Pillow Pets and Other Christmas List Nos

At the top of the cat's Christmas list?  A box?  And that's fine with me.

At the top of the cat’s Christmas list? A box. And that’s fine with me.  The kids are a little more complicated.

You know what is wonderful about programming on PBS for kids?  NO COMMERCIALS for toys!!!!!

Up until the last year or so, for the most part I kept my children blissfully ignorant of the hottest items out there, because the only thing I let them watch was PBS or movies rented from the kids section of Family Video (because they’re FREEEEEEEEEEEE!)

Occasionally, however, something would slip through my stronghold of noncommercialism.  My first experience with this were the Pillow Pets.  My kids saw these commercials and went nuts.  Because it’s a pillow AND it’s a pet!

OMG IT'S A PILLOW AND A PET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG IT’S A PILLOW AND A PET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, both of my children own three of them.  I like the original pillow pets when they were just a pillow and a pet and nothing else.Then apparently everything in the world had to transform from a pillow into something else, because who wants a pillow that’s just… a pillow.  Boring, right?  I got so annoyed by this last year that I had to write a whole rant about pillows that transform.

The latest annoyance by this company has got to be the “Dream Lites”.  Both of my children have wanted one since they came out.  Perhaps you’ve heard of these?  An animal pillow that lights up and projects stars on the ceiling.  Cool huh, NOT!  Every time we go to a Wal-Mart my kids have to stop and look at the Dream Lites. Both kids have picked out exactly which one they think they must have and exactly how they will use them.  I don’t get this-they’re not even soft, so I can’t understand why anyone would want a hard pillow that lights up.  Imagine my delight when I heard that one caught fire.  NO!  You can’t have one because they’re a FIRE HAZARD!  There, I said it.  Mean Mom…

Now that my children are watching things like Vortex (the current equivalent of our childhood Saturday morning cartoons) on Saturday mornings, they are inundated with all of the ridiculous things that are being marketed to kids.  And they want them.  This year they took the toy catalog long before we were even allowed to speak of Christmas and pretty much circled everything in it.  Apparently they thought they were being helpful by using different colored pens to denote who wanted what.  But when they both circle everything, does it really matter?

Then I came up with the brilliant idea of having them write Christmas lists.  The Professor didn’t really quite get that he had to ask for presents for himself.  When I pointed that out he scrapped the list.  The Princess took the idea and ran, except that when I got the list, I needed an interpreter.  Enter Grandma, the former second grade teacher, who was able to decipher the list in a jiffy.

Scan

The Princess writes her first Christmas list. Impressive, but she is not a Jedi yet.

You’ve got to love a kid who asks for belts for Christmas, especially one like her whose butt is always hanging out of her pants! AND STILTS, she asked for STILTS for Christmas.  LOL!

And no, she’s not getting a bird.  Or a computer.

(If anyone knows what the second to last item is, please enlighten me, because even with the expert help, I couldn’t figure it out.)

IMG_1503

The Professor at Christmas. One toy or book is all he really needs. That is until we’re all done, then he wonders “That’s IT?????” (You only got 200 toys this year, what do you mean that’s it?)

The Professor is still thinking over his list.  I really hope I get one before Christmas…

Aside from the aforementioned flaming pillow pet nightlight things and the bird, here are some other things that my kids won’t be seeing under the tree this year.  Or any year.  Ever.

Furby-What the hell do kids see in those things?  I think they are CREEPY!
Easy Bake Oven-Refer to the whole Dream Lite thing above.
Robot Claw Grabber Thingie-Not because my kids would get in trouble with it, I’m talking about my husband.  No, no ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Barbie Dream House With Two Separate Elevators-Since our Barbie house has no stairs of any kind, Barbie has to teleport from floor to floor.  So much better than an elevator or even two, don’t you think?
Hello Kitty Pop Star-No!  NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ugglys Pug Electronic Pet-Nobody gets anything with the word “ugly” in it… especially this.
Back to the two elevators thing… WHY would Barbie need two elevators?  Is Barbie too good to share an elevator with anyone?  Do they have elevator races?  Inquiring minds WANT TO KNOW!

What ARE my kids getting for Christmas? Aside from visiting Gamestop for a used DS for The Princess, the verdict is still out.  I guess you’ll just have to come back and see.  I might even blog about it.

making list imageSome of my awesome blogging buddies also have things that they are not wanting to see under their trees.  Here are the links to check out their Christmas “NOS”!

Dear Santa, Please Don’t-Jen from My Skewed View

The Gift That JUST.KEEPS.ON.GIVING-Katia from I Am The Milk

My Child Models Deserve the Best at Christmas-Jean from Mama Schmama

Santa Employs Sweatshop Labor-Rachel from Tao of Poop

Three Things I Don’t Want My Son To Get For Christmas-Kristi from Finding Ninee

Holy Testosterone, Batman!  Why Are Superheroes So ANGRY These Days?-Sarah from Left Brain Buddha

Thanks for Nothing, “American Girls”.  Why I Hate American Girl Dolls-Stephanie from Mommy Is For Real

Is there something that you hope that your child does not receive this year?  Share, share, SHARE your thoughts in the comments!

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33 thoughts on “Flaming Pillow Pets and Other Christmas List Nos

  1. Oh nononononononono! I’m not looking forward to this. My oldest is starting to tell me he wants to ask Santa for random toys he sees. The first time, I rushed out and bought it. That was the first week of advent. It has now changed twice. *hangs head in shame* I have to learn somehow…..

  2. I actually got my nephew one of those pillows. Oops! Hadn’t quite thought about it that way, Sarah. I guess it’s good your post came out before Christmas. I can take it back and no one will be the wiser (well, I’ll be sadder, but wiser. Ha! Like how I did that?) BTW, the link works and so happy to be carnivalling with you!

  3. Having been “gifted” at one point with a used Barbie house for my daughter I can tell you that the batteries in the elevator last all of about 15 minutes. Not only is Barbie’s elevator perpetually out of order, she also leaves a disproportionate carbon footprint.

  4. My son got a pillow pet thing last year but the brilliance of the toy was lost on him (as it was on all of us). Thank you for publishing her list. I miss kid writing! My best guess is that she’s asking for a movie with the number 8 at the end. A MUG? So cute.

  5. Pingback: The Gift That JUST. KEEPS. ON. GIVING. | iamthemilk

  6. 1. What is that third item? A fruit ruby fairy?
    2. I think the second-to-last item is a mug.
    3. What is Hello Kitty Pop Star? I love Hello Kitty!

  7. OMG, the list! ADORABLE! And the photos!!! I couldn’t stop laughing at the pillow pet ecstasy! This is such a wonderful post and thanks a lot, BTW, now I want a Dreamlite!!! 😀

  8. HAHA!! So funny. Those dream lights are banned here, too, simply because the stupid song that is played on the commercial is annoying and also stuck in my head. I can’t help with the second to last item Does she like V8? Furbys are scary.

  9. My kids have multiple pillow pets, including the dream lights ~ they actually make great night lights!
    And I think the second to last item is “a mug”?

  10. Furbies are the spawn of Satan; I thought we got rid of them in my teen years but apparently they are making a comeback.Oh the humanity! I happened to love my Easy Bake oven, but I suck at cooking anyway.

  11. Those FREAKING pillow pets! WTHeck? Mine had to have a ladybug one. Why does a boy need a ladybug. I mean, I’m not trying to sound all gender crazy but a ladybug? I drew the line at one. Now he does have the first generation light thing. Before it was copied by pillow pets. It’s not really a pillow. It’s a turtle that sits on you night stand. 8 years, no fire. I guess you get what you pay for 😉
    Meanwhile I think you better get the Princess the AMVB or she will be devastated.

    • That’s what Ezra wanted. He has that one and the bee.
      I used to have one of those turtles. Like so many things, I have no idea where it went!

      The PRINCESS has started a second list. Sigh…

  12. As I recall, children who wanted new pillow pets tried to lose their old ones. When the parents tried to help look for them, the kids turned into little mini exorcism candidates, growling, “Or you could just buy me the UNICORN!!!”

  13. Belts for Christmas. That is awesome. Yeah, we have three Pillow Pets too. No Dream Lite, but something similar. Hopefully ours isn’t a fire hazard- we were desperate for anything that would alleviate our bedtime whine-fest. Although, our oldest has a lava lamp in her room- pretty sure that IS a fire hazard. :/ We make sure and turn it off before she goes to bed! So, you are totally smart to avoid the toy commercial madness- mine began to sing a jingle for a product I’d never heard of while we were having dinner with friends the other day. I was so proud. :p

  14. LMFAO, Sarah. First of all, I TOTALLY agree with you about commercials. It’s insidious!!! We don’t have cable and that’s one reason why. And I love that your kids’ Barbies teleport. This is the first year H understands characters and is asking for things (sort of). You can just see how it all begins so early. Need to tamp it down now before it gets out of hand.

  15. Pingback: What You Missed These Past Few Weeks, Probably Because You Forgot I Had A Blog | The Sadder But Wiser Girl

  16. No kids here so I escape the Christmas present craziness, and my nieces are old enough now to appreciate clothes and gift cards. I agree about all the commercials, and even the cartoons nowadays are just there to sell more toys.

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