December 2013 Fly on the Wall: The Holiday Edition

Fly on the WallGuess what time it is, it’s time to get buzzed!

It’s not what you’re thinking, no eggnog or spiked holiday punch here, just some things you might overhear if you were a little fly on the wall of someone’s home.  Today fifteen bloggers are sharing little snippets of their lives simultaneously.  Sit down with a hot mug of coffee or hot chocolate and take a peek into my life. 

(Peppermint schnapps in your drink is totally optional.)

When you’ve finished with my post and have changed your pants and am not totally scared away, then please check out some of the other bloggers links at the bottom of the post!

Christmas 2013

Evolution of a holiday card…

Ok so let’s start with the evolution of a Christmas card.  I had this bright idea to have the animals pose with the kids.  At least the two semi cooperative ones, because we don’t want to have any trips to the emergency room by trying to get the female cat in on it.
Picture 1:  Dog is licking his butt.  If you look really hard you can see where the cat escaped to back on the piano.
Picture 2:  Weird positioning of participants.  You can see all my crap in the spare room.
Picture 3:  The Professor is looking at his sister.  As you can see she wants peace on Earth.
Picture 4:  Cute but blurry.  What?  The camera cooperate?  NEVER!
Picture 5:  The dog is obviously savoring one of the treats I’ve been bribing him with.
At this point I had my picture. But as I was editing it Evil Genius leaned in, looked, and said “Our daughter’s underwear is showing.”  I missed that.  Since a lady reveals nothing, I made the kids put their Christmas stuff back on and made them go back into the room with the tree.
Picture 6:  The Princess is covering her unmentionables, but The Professor’s eyes are closed.
Picture 7:  Bad lighting, Professor eyes are closed AND he’s not looking at the camera.
Picture 8:  The Princess looks like she’s wearing a fur hat.

I finally got a good picture. I uploaded it to Snapfish, added a cute border, and ordered copies for pickup at Walgreens.  As it turned out, it cropped it closer than it looked on the website, so while still cute it wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for.  Sigh…

card

It looked like this only the Professor was much more cut off than this.  My kids are cute, so hopefully people will like it just fine!

Evil Genius:  “What else do we need for Thanksgiving?”
Me:  “We need to get a gravy boat.  Mom said she found us one.”
Evil Genius:  “Yeah, but I was thinking of something more along the lines of a gravy barge.”

The Princess, aghast upon hearing that chicken nuggets come from chickens.
“No, chicken nuggets grow in the GROUND!”  Duh…

Since we had company coming for Thanksgiving, as in my husband’s boss and his wife, I actually made a decent attempt at cleaning the house despite having a stomach bug.  Obviously my kids became suspicious.  The Professor came flying down the stairs hollering “Mom, why is the bathroom clean?”

Evil Genius outdid himself this year on Thanksgiving dinner.  As you can see, it's very hard work.

Evil Genius outdid himself this year on Thanksgiving dinner. As you can see, it’s very hard work.

Me: “We need to make some homemade dog biscuits this Christmas so we can give some to Neo and Jackson.”
The Princess: “GREAT! We need to get a dog treat maker!”
Um, I was thinking more along the lines of a buying a bone shaped cookie cutter to cut out the biscuits. Kids these days!

The kids have been wanting to watch some Christmas movies.  This particular night they had chosen A Walt Disney Christmas.  In one part, someone was painting a checkerboard onto a canvas.
The Professor remarked. “Oh look, they’re painting like French people.”
Me: “How do French people paint?”
The Professor: “Very neatly.”

Yup, this is pretty clever.  And probably the closet I'll ever get to making one!  HA HA!

Yup, this is pretty clever. And probably the closet I’ll ever get to making one! HA HA!

Evil Genius arrived home from work a few weeks ago and announced the following:
“We are not allowed to discuss three subjects in our office now.  No religion, politics, or superheroes.”

The kids were trying to name Santa’s reindeer.
The Professor:  “Well there’s Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Nixon…”
Just so you know, he’s not a crook!

The cat would like to point out that he photographed just fine, thank you very much.

The cat would like to point out that he photographed just fine, but is very put out that he was not included on the holiday card.

The dog WILL NOT leave the Santa hats alone.  At one point, when I caught him carrying one around in his mouth, I yelled in frustration “DON’T EAT SANTA!”

The Professor has been studying the plausibility of how Santa can enter people’s houses.  We were watching a movie when he suddenly had an AHA moment.
“That’s IT!  Santa turns to liquid!”

The Princess: “Mommy, my friend said that when you’re a mommy they check your boobs at the doctor.”
Me (a bit taken aback): “They give you a mammogram when you turn 40.”
The Princess: “Ohhhhhh… So you have to get one at your next birthday.”
Me: “I’m afraid so.”
The Princess: “And Daddy?”
Me: “No he’s a man.”
A pause…then…
The Princess: “Oh, I get it now! You’re a ma’am, so you have to get a “ma’am oh gram”!”
Makes sense to me…

christmas fly

Buzz buzz buzz, Happy Holidays!

Now go visit these other fine blogs to see what stories they have to tell from their respective abodes!

Baking In A Tornado

Just a Little Nutty

Follow me home . . .

Menopausal Mother

The Momisodes

Spatulas on Parade

The Rowdy Baker

Sorry kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others

Juicebox Confession

Writer B is Me

Dates 2 Diapers

Kiss My List

Moms Don’t Say That

Adventure into Domesticland

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9 thoughts on “December 2013 Fly on the Wall: The Holiday Edition

  1. Oh my… how I love how the Christmas card came together.
    *snickers* The story is priceless but the kiddos are so darn cute. I love it! ❤
    “ma’am oh gram”- I love where her noggin goes. That was some pretty great thinking!
    Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and fabulous New Year!

  2. I don’t know what I loved more; the gingerbread house or the ma’am-o-gram. So funny. I can relate to your Christmas card debacle. We haven’t had even sent ours in yet.
    I have to tell my son about the liquifying of Santa. He will love that.

  3. My mom never had us do the Christmas card thing. Maybe because we would never sit still long enough. The gingerbread house was brilliant!

  4. without animals and kids I swear we’d having nothing to write about and life would be boring. For a joke you should have printed out one card using the couch! LOL and yes the kids are cute, we all know the camera never ever cooperates.

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