The Bog of Undetermined Stench: Tight Pants Not Included

baking in a tornadoThis month in an effort to get my butt back to writing, I took part in a new challenge hosted by the brilliant mistress of mouthwatering recipes Karen of Baking in a Tornado.  The peeps involved in this group post picked 4-6 words or short phrases for someone else to turn into a masterpiece.  Each word is used at least once, and each blogger receives their own unique set of words submitted by another blogger.

Fun?  Of course! I received the following words to use in this post:  unexplained phenomena ~ beastly ~ evidence ~ hair ~ investigative journalist ~ backwoods

They were submitted by the lovely Robin at Someone Else’s Genius!

In my house these days there is this unexplained phenomena known as the “undetermined stench”.  This is not to be confused with the bog of eternal stench, believe me there is no David Bowie in tight pants dancing around singing about it.

And that is such a pity.  This smell just may very well merit a song or two in tight pants.  However since we don’t have actually own any such things in our house, you’ll have to settle for me typing this in yoga pants.

Being the mother of two children with questionable toileting habits as well as working in child care for more than ten years, you would think that I would have built up considerable tolerance to all things stinky.

As it turns out not so much.

You see, much like the piles of laundry and the legos that seem to breed in the playroom, I seem to be the only one who even takes note of this foul fetor.  I notice it most when I first return to my house after being gone.  I come inside and start running around the house, smelling everything in my quest to figure out what the heck that beastly stench is and where it’s coming from!  Despite all the evidence that my nose seems to be gathering, I’m at a loss.

I can’t say it’s my power of super smell, because if that’s the case don’t you think I’d already have located it?

I shouldn’t be surprised, after all my abode seems to be the breeding ground for all kinds of hair-cat hair, dog hair, human hair.  Why not add a bit of funky smell to the mix as well?

At one point this week I attacked my couch, convinced that there was some sort of evil stanky force at work.  I washed everything that was washable, vacuumed and febrezed what was left.  While it gave my mind a little rest, the next time I came downstairs, there was that icky smell!

Nooooooooooo!

The sink with its neverending pile of dishes doesn’t always smell so wonderful, it would certainly help if Evil Genius would replace the leaky garbage disposal with the brand new one in the box.  The one sitting next to the cupboard that the cat uses as a perch to stare at us from.

But I figured that’s not where the stench is coming from either.

The basement has its own brand of special scent.  Yucky icky smelly we’ve had a little too much rain at a time loveliness.  And cat box.  Yet that is not the source of the p.u.

I’m quite close to throwing in the towel and hiring some sort of private eye or investigative journalist to sniff it out and expose this thing wide open.

I don’t know why I should be concerned.  After all, it was only this past Christmas that we were up to our ankles in our own deep doo doo in the aforementioned basement, thanks to the tree in the front yard and a few too many doses of miralax.  What smells worse than that?  My nose should have long thrown in the towel, er, kleenex, after inhaling that particular odor.  It was enough to make me want to live like they do in the backwoods… nothing to flush, just a hole in the ground.

Yes folks it’s a good mystery. One that may continue to confound me for the rest of my days before I simply run from the house screaming.  At least I’ll be out in the fresh air!

Do you have stink in your sink?  A smell where you dwell?  Is it simply your loo that smells like poo?  Or an undetermined stench in your bench?  I’d love to know.

I’d like the record to note that I came up with multiple synonyms for something that stinks.  Now, unplug your nose and read on to see what words my fellow writers utilized so splendiferously.

http://bakinginatornado.com                                Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                      Stacy Sews and Schools

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/                      The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                      Juicebox Confession

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/                    Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                     Someone Else’s Genius

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                      Battered Hope

http://www.healingtomato.com                         Healing Tomato

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com             Evil Joy Speaks

Advertisements

22 thoughts on “The Bog of Undetermined Stench: Tight Pants Not Included

  1. I hear you – or better “I can smell your house” – as the mommy to a boy I have my share of questionable toileting habits…

    You know I was a little afraid you would end up finding a dead body in your basement…

    Great fun, great rhymes!

  2. This is too funny, Sarah. I’m thinking maybe something died in the walls of your house? Rat? Mouse? We get a peculiar odor sometime too, and it has always come from the walls—-a sour smell, right? That might be the problem. Hope I’ve solved the mystery!

  3. Seriously. When I came up with the words, I was watching Evidence of Bigfoot… honestly, despite the smell, I like your version. And a Labyrinth reference = double score! Love it!

  4. I have only one child, one husband, and one dog. It’s always a toss up as to where the stench is coming from. And it doesn’t help that they’re all male.

    • Maybe we can make a whole series on mystery stench. It’d be like those ghost shows only someone would come in and try to find the smell! I may be the poop detective, but this one really has me stumped!

  5. Nice to connect with you on Use Your Words — I loved your style of writing – the flow, the humor – all of it. I have a nose like a dog. I will stop by soon and smell your house? You game?

    Carol of Battered Hope

  6. I’d go nuts. I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I found it. I loved your use of your words. I giggled frequently, but I assure you… I’m giggling with you, not at you. Right?!

  7. I can see where you’re coming from with this quest to locate the source of a stinky. We had a similar problem in our kitchen; an intermittent bad-egg smell. Eventually we discovered that it was rotting food dregs in the piping from the sink that was only disturbed when we used the dishwater.

  8. Sometimes Undetermined Stench is safer than Determined Stench because then you have to deal with said stench. Like baseball clothing he forgot to bring up but managed to get wet after it was already stinky and then left on his bathroom floor. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  9. I think there are evil goblins who lay random unidentifiable smells in our homes. These smells are impossible to remove with normal cleaning products, and air freshener just makes them worse.
    The current one in my house is an intermittent waft of stinky sneakers. I don’t think I can blame this one on the dogs as they don’t wear shoes. 😀
    I like how you’ve used the suggested words!

Whatcha Thinkin?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s