Fly on the Wall June 2014: The Pants Party Edition

Fly on the Wall

Some flies have all the fun… welcome to the June edition of Fly on the Wall, where you can spend time spying on us and hearing all those little conversations we’re having in our house that sometimes are even amusing. 

Each month I partake in this special group event.  All of the participants write their posts and they all go live at the same time!  It’s like a marathon of your favorite TV show just much, much better!

For those of you who know how prolific a writer I used to be, thanks to a busy schedule and a major depressive episode that has now dragged on for far too long I have not been able to write much of anything.  This is the one thing that I have been able to stay active in as a blogger, and I just wanted to give a shout out to Karen of Baking in a Tornado for being understanding and not telling me to go away.  Will I ever get back to writing on a regular basis?  Will I ever feel funny again?  That remains to be seen…

Now, read the nonsense and foolishness that goes on in my house and then be sure to see what goes on in my friend’s houses by clicking on the links at the bottom of the post!


We have entered the dreaded stage of childhood in my house where everything inappropriate is funny.  It does not matter, if it contains the word underwear or toilet in it, it is HILARIOUS to my children.  I’m talking rolling on the floor laughing because a song had underwear in it.  So the cuteness doesn’t exactly abound in my house because my children are too busy trying to make each other laugh by saying inappropriate words:  poop, butt, fart, you name it.

As a humor writer whose most famous posts involve peeing my own pants and being a poop detective, yeahhhh… not so funny.

I am easily amused by brand names.  I truly think this is one of the best names ever.  Now I must decide if I want a regular or an overnight party in my pants...

I am easily amused by brand names. I truly think this is one of the best names ever. Now I must decide if I want a regular or an overnight party in my pants…

Evil Genius: “FINALLY! I got turned into a vampire. Now all I have to do is make my imaginary friend real and turn him into a werewolf so I can marry him and get on with what I’ve been trying to do.”
He’s been playing the Sims.  What did you think he was talking about?

From the living room I can hear what sounds like screams of torture from the backyard.  I go outside to see both kids sitting on the swings, screaming at the top of their lungs.
“HEY!  Knock that off!”  I yell.
“But mom, we’re doing burps!”
I might want to rethink what kind of food I’m serving my family…

Evil Genius:  “Leave some milk for morning. I eat my Fruity Pebbles like a MAN! With milk!”

I told the kids for every minute that they played outside this afternoon, they could play Minecraft. It was tough, but they stuck it out and played for a whole HOUR in the great outdoors.  Guess what?  They didn’t die!

This is part of what I do for my paid job.  These are marshmallows, each plate microwaved at a different time interval.  All in the name of science, right?

This is part of what I do for my paid job. These are marshmallows, each plate microwaved at a different time interval. All in the name of science, right?

Evil Genius:  “I hope we have enough sugar.”
Me:  “I just bought you a new thing of sugar, it’s sitting on the counter!”
Evil Genius:  “Yeah, but it’s only five pounds, and I’m making a cheesecake.”

Memorial Day weekend:  There was racing on all day and we were making fried food.  According to The Professor it was the best day ever.

Evil Genius:  “By the way, there’s an egg in the butter.”
The Professor: “Why is there an egg in the butter?”
Me: “Didn’t you know, it’s reproducing. Butter lays eggs.”
Just a little normal dinnertime conversation in our house…

The Princess of Pink Perfection at the Park.  Priceless.

The Princess of Pink Perfection at the Park. Priceless.

Take any noun and insert it in the blanks:

“Why did the guy put the _________ in the refrigerator?”
“Because he wanted a cool_________.”

Now, repeat 700,000 times in a row, inserting a different noun EVERY time you tell it. Make sure to laugh hysterically EVERY time.

My children. That’s right, they will never be comedians.

The Professor tries out tennis this summer, and looked very cool doing it.

The Professor tried out tennis this summer, and looked very cool doing it.

I almost missed going to the gym because my husband was out shopping for shoes.  Then he came home and made a cheesecake… backwards?

Did you know I’m famous?  Good things happen when you share recipes with friends.  I’m sharing this on here, because my friend Amy is awesome and so is this recipe!

Don’t forget to visit these other homes and buzz around a bit!                          Baking In A Tornado                                  The Rowdy Baker                                Just A Little Nutty                          Spatulas on Parade                  Stacy Sews and Schools                          Menopausal Mother                               Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                      Juicebox Confession                     Someone Else’s Genius                         Black Sheep Mom                                Go Mama O                            Battered Hope                                      The Momisodes                                      elleroy was here

27 thoughts on “Fly on the Wall June 2014: The Pants Party Edition

  1. Potty talking (when it got too crazy, I used to make my kids go in the bathroom where they could potty talk to their heart’s content) burping, and constant repetition of not-so-funny jokes…yes, yes, I love my empty nest! But you’re keeping track of all this funny stuff and it will be priceless someday. Embrace the craziness, Sarah!

    • The kids did a little when they came out of the microwave. They poked them and it got on their fingers and had a little taste. Not a very sanitary project, I’m afraid, but very fun in the name of science!

  2. I’m so glad you do these Fly on the Wall posts, I’m always so entertained by what goes on in your house.
    I do have to say, though, that it sounds like your husband needs to serve his cheesecake with a shot of insulin.

  3. I laughed out loud at this post – sadly, some of us never grow out of toilet humour. One of the many things I miss about being a child is rolling around on the floor in uninhibited hilarity.:D
    Sorry to hear you’ve had a depressive episode – depression is NOT funny. 😦

  4. I think you should splurge…
    daytime pants party and the overnight party in the pants as well!
    One party in your pants may not be enough!
    You are certainly not alone in the funky place even though it is super uncomfortable, it does not decrease your awesome in the slightest. xo

  5. So glad to have connected with you here and on Use Your Words. So sorry to hear of your depressive state and for those of us who relate only too well, this too shall pass! Loved your humor and your style, as always. Hope the party in your pants is everything you hoped it would be! Carol @ Battered Hope

  6. sorry babe, I totally understand and hope you feel like yourself again. Your kids are so awesome and I would crack up right along with them.

    • Thanks Karen! This week some good things have happened that have shaken the funk a little. Hopefully it will keep up. The biggest thing is that I haven’t been able to get out and exercise much-that makes a huge difference for me!

  7. Oh do I want to come live in your house!! TOO funny! And also? Just TOO damn cute too…
    LOVE those pics! I want to scream on the swings with your kiddos!

    And as for you. This place you are in. This season of suffering. I want you to know that I will be praying for a ‘lift’ in the weight of that darkness. Oh, how my heart aches for you, my friend.

  8. You totally want the overnight party in your pants of course. That’s for real? For real? LOL Definitely worth the $13.99 and I think I know what Grandma’s getting for a stocking stuffer this year. Because I’m warped.

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