Did you know that every month you can be a part of something truly unique? Karen of Baking in a Tornado regularly allows me to participate in the various writing challenges that she hosts and doesn’t tell me to hit the road. At least she hasn’t yet. If she’ll let me do it, by golly she’ll let anyone in.
Use Your Words is one such challenge where participating bloggers provide four to six words or phrases. These are then assigned to another blogger who can then tear his or her hair out trying to figure out how to use them in a coherent post. These posts are simultaneously published at the same time so that you, the reader, can take in their amazingness like smelling apple pie right out of the oven. I’m also tired and haven’t slept so I am using analogies very poorly.
That’s right. It ain’t easy. But yet I keep coming back every month…
This month my words were big ~ fast ~ ink ~ teddy bear ~Rumpelstiltskin ~ fart. Oh that’s right. One of my words was fart. And I used it correctly in a sentence.
They were submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com
Can’t.Write.Anything. Nope. Not a thing.
Once upon a time in a land not so far away there was a problem. Not just a big problem, but a huge, gigantic enormous problem.
No matter how fast she scribbled, no matter how fast she typed, the writer could not get the words to come out right.
She tried different kinds of ink, she tried different kinds of paper. She even tried drinking different kinds of alcohol. No matter what she did her writing was all in vain.
She spent her nights sobbing, clutching her teddy bear, and drinking copious amounts of caffeine, hoping and praying that the words would somehow return.
“Why, why me? Why must I be a victim of this horrible brain constipation? Could I at least be lucky enough to have one giant word fart to relieve myself?”
All at once there was a deafening noise and a little man appeared on her keyboard.
“Who are you, Rumplestiltskin?”
Apparently this angered the little man so much he punched her in the nose and disappeared.
Later on that same evening after a binge of pretzels and various caffeinated beverages another person appeared to her. This time she decided to keep her mouth shut, which was fine because it was actually full of pretzels.
“Follow the light. You know the one. The red and white light in a perfect circle. This holds the key to all that you know or think you know.”
(And she may or may not have been watching Willow earlier that evening.)
So she got in her car and went to Target.
So yeah. Target holds all of life’s secrets.
The writer may not have found the words she was looking for. But she did find underwear for $1.74, chocolate for 30% off, and a package of brightly colored lined paper which she never did use. But that’s ok, because it was on clearance.
The moral of the story is that you may not be able to find the words you’re looking for, but you can certainly find something that you’re not looking for. Just go to Target. You’ll see.
This post has been brought to you by a severe case of writer’s block brought on by severe insomnia, too many pretzels, and perhaps one too many trips to Target in one week. But you can also read posts by people who can actually produce coherent sentences when they try to write a blog post by clicking on one of the links below.
Seriously. You just gonna sit there or are you going to click on one or two or all of those links? Sheesh. And I thought I procrastinated…
http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/ Spatulas on Parade
http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/ Stacy Sews and Schools
http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/ Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com Evil Joy Speaks
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/ Confessions of a part-time working mom
http://followmehome.shellybean.com Follow me home . . .
http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com The Bergham’s Life Chronicles
http://batteredhope.blogspot.com Battered Hope
You gotta love Target!!!! LOL
HILARIOUS!!!!
Thank you Stacy. I sure felt very unfunny when I wrote that, so I am glad that people are enjoying it.
All hail the big, red bullseye. Dreams come true there, man. I say it all the time. 30% off of chocolate? I’m on it.
That’s right. Cheap chocolate is definitely my dream.
If writer’s block makes you this funny. . . naaaa, I better not go there.
But seriously, if booze, coffee and a huge brain fart can’t help? Well, there are weekly writing challenges . . .oh, and pretzels, target and chocolate!
Thank you. Not so sure that writing prompts are what I need right now. Maybe just a hard kick in the butt.
I think the additional moral of the story is that chocolate makes everything better… even brain constipation that can’t helped with word farts, hahaha!
You have proved your own amazingness that is like smelling apple pie right out of the oven – with cinnamon, I hope – by turning your struggle writing that post into having all of us nodding our heads and thinking “don’t I know this feeling… good to know that a trip to Target may help…”
This had me laughing..and hoping that I can get a sale on some chocolate!
Ohh…Target…how I can get lost in you for hours. I go in for one gift…then I am sucked into its tricky vortex of amazing stuffs.
Great job and I apologize, I let my husband help me with my UYW list. That’s what happens when men get involved.
If I had a Target I’d go , sounds like some great deals.
PERFECT ANSWER to an on-going problem. I won’t forget this solution!
Ahhhh! I love it. I scared my daughter, I laughed so loud! Writer’s block is a B—-.