Top Ten Reasons Why I Haven’t Written In Like… Years

  1. I got a dishwasher.  It’s amazing.
  2.  My kids are less interesting than they used to be.
  3. I decided to write Marvel fanfiction on Tumblr. (Really… true story… then I deleted the account.)
  4. I got a job that took 98% of my brainpower.
  5. Aliens…
  6. I got depressed.  Like… really depressed…
  7. Aliens…
  8. Solar flares
  9. Robert Downey Jr.
  10. There is just no excuse

Seriously folks… it’s hard to write when you feel like nothing in your life is funny.  But sometimes there’s something that just makes you spring back to life.

Is it funny?  No it’s not.  But it drove me to write, and that’s what matters.

My son is in 7th grade and my daughter is in 4th grade.

Stay tuned… things are about to get interesting…

 

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Fly on the Wall June 2015: The Fried Ice Cream Edition

Fly on the Wall

That’s right, it’s that time of the month again… it’s Fly on the Wall!

Fly on the Wall is a monthly slice of awesomeness.  Participating bloggers share little snippets from their month all squished together into one post for your enjoyment, then put them up ALL AT THE SAME TIME JUST FOR YOU TO LOVE!

What’s not to like about that?

The cat doesn't care about Fly on the Wall...

The cat doesn’t care about Fly on the Wall…

So where have I been?  Last month I apparently spaced off telling Karen I wanted to do this so I didn’t make it onto the list.  I wasn’t hiding and I certainly wasn’t dead… I just forgot.  Me?  Forget?  That NEVER happens!

We had lots of birthdays since the last time you heard from me…First Evil Genius turned the big 4-0.  His request was Mountain Dew cupcakes.  Get cake mix, add Mountain Dew, what could possibly go wrong, right????

ADD people trying to follow modified directions?  HA!  The first batch turned out like water.  I soon figured out that you had to put the Mountain Dew IN PLACE of all the liquid in the cake mix. Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

So not beautiful... but he seemed to like them.

So not beautiful… but he seemed to like them.

Birthday #2-mine.  I turned 41.  It was uneventful.

Yes... fried ice cream.  All the fried ice cream...

Yes… fried ice cream. All the fried ice cream…

Then last but certainly not least was The Princess’s birthday.  She also wanted to go out for fried ice cream because that’s what Mommy did.  She got to wear a sombrero (I had declined the sombrero for personal reasons.)

We like fried ice cream a lot, can you tell?

We like fried ice cream a lot, can you tell?

But there was also cake.  Her mommy made a cake.  Did her mommy tell you she made a cake?  This one turned out… ok.

I said it before and I'll say it again, I never professed to being a professional cake decorator.  The kid is cute anyway.

I said it before and I’ll say it again, I never professed to being a professional cake decorator. The kid is cute anyway.

We also finished school.  It’s kind of a big deal, because the older one will be attending middle school next year.  Hard to believe, huh?

Last day of school.

Last day of school.

Other things went on too…

I went out to the schools to promote summer reading with a neighboring library.  I got the pleasure of speaking to my son and daughter’s classes.  What question does my son raise his hand to ask her?
“So if my mom works at one library, do I HAVE to go to that library????”
Thanks kid, I love you too.

In case you didn’t know, the Tooth Fairy has business hours: Teeth lost after 5pm will be processed the next business day. She also thanks you for your patience, because your business is very important to her.

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So Evil Genius got his hands on a Go-kart. Guess which one wanted to race it?

I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for supper last night because dammit I’m a grown-up.

My Mother’s Day gift-I requested that the kids do the dishes tonight.
The Professor (as soon as his father is out of earshot): I don’t remember how to wash dishes.

My cousin gave us shower notes.  Guess who has been using them?

My cousin gave us shower notes. Guess who has been using them?

Me: I got a reversible skirt at the consignment shop for $1.
Evil Genius:  What good is that? Who wants a skirt that only covers your stomach when you reverse it? That makes no sense whatsover…

The cat is after something in the stairway. After a moment I realize he’s after his shadow. Crazy, crazy cat.

Kitty does care about wrapping paper...

Kitty does care about wrapping paper…

The Professor:  I just wanted you to know something happened to my gum so I threw it away.
Me: What happened to your gum?
The Professor:  I don’t know. It was too chewy.

I’m leaving work the other day and the kids head out to the car ahead of me. I stopped to bring something back inside and see the kids are just standing outside by the car.
Me: What’s the matter, is the car locked?
The Princess: There’s a bug in there.
The Professor: We believe it could be dangerous.

Things I never thought I’d say #903: “You don’t need a Captain America shield to do yoga.”

I got my hair pertied... did I forget to mention that?

I got my hair pertied… did I forget to mention that?

I think I’ll stop there… Next month will be dedicated to the half marathon I didn’t die participating and other running things.  Because I can.  Now don’t YOU run away, check out the other blogs that are doing this too!

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                  Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                            Juicebox Confession

http://dinoheromommy.com/                               Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.angelaweight.com                                  Sanity Waiting to Happen

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                        Southern Belle Charm

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                   Searching for Sanity

http://www.gomamao.com                                            Go Mama O

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/              Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

 

Fly on the Wall April 2015: The Mutant Fly Edition

Fly on the WallHoly cow I think we have mutant flies. The biggest fly I’ve seen in a long time keeps landing on my screen. Heyyyyyyy wait a minute, I bet he wants to help me write my Fly on the Wall post!

Why would a fly want to help me write?  Let me explain a little about Fly on the Wall… In a nutshell, it’s snippets from life put together to make one post.  Participating bloggers then take said posts and all publish at the same time.  Magically at 10 am EST these posts all appear simultaneously once a month!  So read on to see what the fly and I wrote, then stick around and see what other bloggers wrote by clicking on one or two or ten of the links at the bottom of the post. 

So in other words, what fly WOULDN’T want to get in on that kind of awesomeness?  🙂

This is visual proof of why I get nothing accomplished often.  Cuddly animals and warm soft purple blankies.

This is visual proof of why I get nothing accomplished more often than not. Cuddly animals and warm soft purple blankies.

Me eating ice cream: “Oh ice cream how I love you! Why don’t I eat ice cream more often?”
Me two hours later: *In pain and crying* “Whyyyyyyy do I eat ice cream?????”

(Lactose intolerance, that’s why. It blows.)

That's about right... (From George Takei's Facebook page.)

That’s about right… (From George Takei’s Facebook page.)

Evil Genius to The Professor: “Did you learn anything at Baseball Camp today?”
The Professor: “Nothing that I can remember.”

Couldn’t find the library’s disposable silverware anywhere the other day at work. My choices to eat my mac and cheese were a big wooden spoon or a measuring spoon… I chose the measuring spoon.  It may have looked a little weird, but hey I was HUNGRY!

I'm the one in the purple hat.  I'm wearing three shirts and a jacket-it was COLD!  I finished 58th out of 78.  HEY I BEAT SOME PEOPLE!!!!

This is the 5K that we have in the spring in my town.  We literally can walk outside our door and participate.  I’m the one in the purple hat. It was so cold that I was wearing three shirts and a jacket! How’d I end up?  I finished 58th out of 78. HEY I BEAT SOME PEOPLE!!!!

Things not to do on the day of a 5K that you plan on actually running.
1) Drink orange juice beforehand
2) Eat blueberry waffles beforehand
3) Wear pants that won’t stay up
All bad things to do… trust me. *urp*

The Princess is learning to knit.  We have knitting needles and looms galore.  I'm still waiting for potholders.  Really, I seriously need her to make me some!

The Princess is learning to knit. We have knitting needles and looms galore. I’m still waiting for potholders. Really, I seriously need her to make me some!

*Stares at pair upon pair of black yoga pants in the laundry basket*  Is it possible to have an addiction to yoga pants?

IMG_3394The above picture is from Easter.  Why is my son wearing a button up shirt, tie, and vest?  Certainly not because we told him to. A friend gave us some of her son’s clothes that he had outgrown and he has been obsessed with that outfit ever since.  Every chance he’s got he’s tried to wear it.

The day before Easter… “Mom…”

Me without even hesitating:  “Yes you can wear the shirt and tie.”

He does look pretty cute, even though he started out wearing the shirt over a polo shirt.  He thought it would look extra nice.  We made him take it off.

Speaking of Easter, that bunny was definitely my favorite that weekend.

Speaking of Easter, that bunny was definitely my favorite that weekend.

Random things written on Facebook:

So apparently orange juice is not a viable alternative for milk in cream of chicken soup.

I really hate it when I find meat in my bra.

The Princess and I delivered cookies to my aunt and cousin in the Target parking lot recently. I’m now completely convinced that Girl Scout cookies are another form of crack. “You got the stuff?” “You got the cash?”

Yes those were my children walking to the bus stop in the pouring rain.  Brand new umbrella… Need I say more?

My pets... what a bunch of goofballs.

My pets… what a bunch of goofballs.

Me: “When I was a kid we used typewriters to type things because that was before they had computers for everyday use and things like ipads.”
The Princess: “Yeah. That was a long time before pencils too…”
Yes we etched everything on to a stone tablet…

IMG_3396

Both kids are on orange teams this year! What a coincidence!

My daughter wanted to clean for fun this past weekend.  I don’t think she’s really mine.

Yep that’s right.  Mom has been slacking in the cleaning department.  For whatever reason, my depression has reared its ugly head once again and I feel like doing nothing.  But I’m happy to say that we spent the day cleaning up our kitchen and not only has it stayed that way, I did some more organizing this week!  Now I can’t say much for the rest of the house, but by golly our kitchen looks great!

I always feel at home at Target.  This week I have proof that they really know me there.

I always feel at home at Target. This week I have proof that they really know me there.

Back to the running… there is kind of a happy ending here.  The next 5K was a couple of weeks later.  It was for my husband’s Live Healthy Iowa thingie.  I did decently-and I ran the whole way!  I’m not so sure where I actually finished, I have yet to see any race results.  However the hubby was so proud he got me flowers.  And they’re tie-dyed!

Now he can get flowers for me for when I’m done with the half marathon on May 30th.  He can put them on my grave, because I’ll probably die.

11149822_10204567797971835_579512764931082934_oThis weekend is Evil Genius’s birthday.  He turns the big 4-0.  We will be attempting to make Mountain Dew cupcakes.  I’m sure there will be a good story in there for next month’s Fly on the Wall.  We actually have three birthdays between now and then!  How about that?

So that’s it, short and sweet this month.  Thanks for stopping by and reading…  And how much help was the fly?  At some point the dog ate him.  How’s that for appreciation?  Don’t worry about him, there are plenty more flies out there.  Take a look at some of the blogs below.  They are just buzzing with things for you to read!

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                  Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                    Searching for Sanity

http://www.angelaweight.com                                Sanity Waiting to Happen

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                   Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                         Juicebox Confession

Fly on the Wall March 2015: The Headache Edition

Fly on the WallFly on the Wall is a series of snippets from my life that won’t really make up a whole blog post by themselves, but certainly together make up a fun little bit of reading!  What’s unique about this is that participating bloggers all write their posts and they are put up simultaneously for your reading pleasure.  Except mine, because mine was late (see the next paragraph for an explanation below).  Anyhoo, the links to the other blogs are at the bottom of the post.  Please take some time to visit them all, they are wonderful (and funny) people!

So I took a month off from writing, I can’t say that a lot of interesting things happened…  And seriously my computer crashed when I was writing this.  Blue screen of death!  I panicked big time!  Fortunately after shutting it down and letting it sit for awhile, it seems to be okay.  Anyhoo…

10993522_10204355541505556_7624171848084627542_o

Look who got an American Girl doll. Yep. She named her Lizzie.

One night I had a dream that I was at work and it snowed only it snowed inside and I was trapped at work because I couldn’t drive my car through the snow inside the BUILDING I WORK IN. I need help. Seriously.  I think I just needed Spring.

**********

The Professor saw a commercial for what he thinks will be his new favorite thing: Bacon wrapped deep dish pizza.  Ew.

 **********

My evening spent with my husband ended with conversations about how agricultural sprayers would be advantageous in a zombie apocalypse (as opposed to a combine) and how it would feel to be kicked by a kangaroo.

All of that was just in time for Valentine’s Week. We’re so romantic.

My Valentine lovies.  Aren't they cute?

My Valentine lovies. Aren’t they cute?

So The Princess is in that stage where she is losing lots of teeth. Two teeth were lost in a short period of time at our house. This is a lot for a tooth fairy to keep up with.

Lost tooth one went three days without payment. Finally a pink bag with magical confetti hearts and four shiny quarters in it appeared on the fourth day, along with a letter of explanation. Apparently the tooth fairy had a tooth convention in Toothiana Texas.

Lost tooth two also went three days sans money. Finally a dollar miraculously appeared under Mommy’s pillow this morning. We’re thinking the tooth fairy was playing tricks. Or maybe got confused…

I’d like the record to show that the tooth fairy does not have a drinking problem. Also, my daughter is a very light sleeper.

The kids got Beanie Boos.  They're cute but a little creepy with their big eyes.  They love them.

The kids got Beanie Boos. They’re cute but a little creepy with their big eyes. They love them.

After supper I swear I heard my husband said “Great, now I can crap. I’ve been waiting and gathering things all day to do it.”

What he actually said was that he can “craft”. On Guild Wars, the online game that he plays. I’m still not sure which one actually makes more sense to me…

 **********

The Professor:  “What movie is this?”
Evil Genius: “Facing the Giants. Ever seen it?”
The Professor: Maybe I have. Unless I didn’t then I haven’t.

**********

The Headache Diaries-Facebook entries made by me during the month of the headache:

Hi I’m Sarah, and this is my headache. Maybe I should name it? What is a good name for a headache that won’t go away?
And Coming soon, Headache, the Musical…

Relief…

Evil Genius’s cheesecake: Now with divine healing powers.

I mean, yeah it’s always been heavenly and all, but tonight it made my migraine go away, and that was just the batter!

Eat his cheesecake tomorrow, gain superpowers. It could make a pretty good Friday, huh?

Help…

I give up. I surrender. Please just go away and let me be! You have made me into a completely worthless individual today!

Finally…

Just to share what a super kid I have: In an attempt to combat these terrible headaches I’m having, I quit drinking diet pop. I really gave up caffeine for the most part. I can’t say it’s really helping, but I’m trying. I’ve hardly had any caffeine other than the occasional coke in the last week.

Yesterday was hard because I had to work in the evening. I gave in and gave my son a dollar to run down to Casey’s to get me a can of Coke. He happily complied and it did help.

This morning I got up and came downstairs. He was sitting on the couch with a dollar in his hand. “What’s that for?” I asked him.

“Oh, it’s mine. I thought I’d bring it just in case you need something today mom.”

He’s my favorite today.

In conclusion…

So I am off of caffeine for the most part.  I’m still getting headaches, but not as bad.  So we’ll see.

**********

Graceful thing that I am, I dropped and broke my glasses.  Fortunately it was time to make an appointment anyway.  I got the indestructable flexon glasses, and they are PURPLE!!!!!

New glasses!

New glasses!

I just watched my cat flip a vhs tape across the floor and proceed to attack it… That’s right, make sure it’s dead.

 **********

Newsflash: Frozen hashbrowns are not a ready to eat food (says on the package).

 **********

The following is me online trying to find a new weight workout now that I’m running. Keep in mind I’m not a beginner, I’ve been lifting for many years:

Oh… I don’t want to watch a video…
That girl looks too happy, I can’t do that workout. Seriously, she’s enjoying that swiss ball waaaaay too much.
Our gym doesn’t have kettlebells.
I really don’t care what Reese Witherspoon does, thank you.
Last time I checked I’m not a man.

Yeah, still haven’t found a new workout…

**********

Evil Genius:  “How much snow do we have? 3 inches under the dog. Is that a standard measuring system?”

**********

Bad things to use as a bookmark for your library book #6: Your birth certificate.  True story… Not me, fortunately, but some other poor soul that is probably wondering where it went.  I sent it back to the library it came from.

**********

So upcoming things… The Professor starts baseball on Sunday.  This will be interesting for him, having to deal with other people in a team situation.  I may drink a lot the next two months.

In the next few months I will be running three 5Ks and a half marathon.  Am I crazy?  Pretty much.  I’m finally starting to see results.  Next month may very well be the running edition!

Now… don’t run away, check out these amazing people below.  You know you wanna…(My apologies to Karen, I really didn’t want to be late with this.  I still love you and will be ON TIME next month!  XOXO)

 http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                  Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                            Juicebox Confession

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                      Searching for Sanity

http://www.gomamao.com                                      Go Mama O

December 2014 Fly on the Wall: The Extra Bearded Edition

Fly on the WallWelcome to the December edition of the Fly on the Wall.  If you haven’t been here before, here’s a simple explanation:  These are snippets of life from my house.  I am simultaneously posting these snippets along with other participating bloggers.  Please, please, pretty please stop by the links of the other participants at the bottom of the post or you may find reindeer poop in your stocking!!!!!

We last left our superheroes starting to get ready for Thanksgiving dinner… We hosted Thanksgiving again this year.  We had Evil Genius’s now traditional turkey in a bucket and the not so traditional turkey made of cheese, sausage, and crackers…

10620237_10203670796387356_8976289056525414897_oWords uttered the week of Thanksgiving:  “It’s Tuesday. Do you know where your turkey bucket is?”

IMG_3267

My parents came up for Thanksgiving. Can you tell who the dog was most taken with?

Conversations held on Thanksgiving in our house:

Me to the Professor: “Are your pants on inside out?”
The Professor: “Oh.” Looks down at his pants, inspects them for a bit. “I guess they are” (Goes right back to watching tv).
Evil Genius: “Go fix them please!”

Tell me, what is wrong with this picture?

Tell me, what is wrong with this picture?

Now we are busy prepping for Christmas here at the house of nuts Almond.

There was Christmas shopping.  He bought himself an early present.  He's so good to him.

There was Christmas shopping. He bought himself an early present. He’s so good to him.

Here are the roles currently assumed by the people who occupy this place:

The Princess:  Craft Nazi
The Professor:  Christmas Expert
Evil Genius:  Evil Baker and Evil Chef
Me:  Space Occupier

The craft Nazi busy at work.  She wants to do crafts every second of every day!

The craft Nazi busy at work. She wants to do crafts every second of every day!

Me to The Princess: What are you going to make for Christmas gifts this year?
Princess: I don’t know.
Me (thinking I’m very smart and clever): Should we look on the internet for some ideas?
Princess: SURE!

I pull out my laptop and stupidly google “homemade gifts kids can make”. At search result #1, she gasps. At result #2 she squees… At result #154 she’s still ooing and ahhing.

An hour later, it’s quite apparent that she wants to make ALL the presents.
“All” as in every.single.craft on the internet. Be ready, people, be ready for all the crafts!

Evil Genius gets back from the ISU game to see me frantically trying to paint The Princess’s nails because it was bedtime and we had almost run out of time to do it.

Evil Genius: “I thought Moms enjoyed doing that with their daughters?”
Me: *Angry glare as I manage to paint my thumb holiday red*

Christmas nails.

Christmas nails.

Princess: Daddy what’s in these enchiladas?
Evil Genius: Chicken, sour cream, cheese, cumin-
Princess: Ew, HUMAN????
Evil Genius: No, CUMIN!

Rest assured that all of the cooking the Evil Genius does is 100% human free!

One thing that has recently come out of the Evil Genius's kitchen: Chocolate Peanut Butter trees!  (Yes they washed their hands but apparently not their faces!)

One thing that has recently come out of the Evil Genius’s kitchen: Chocolate Peanut Butter trees! (Yes they washed their hands but apparently not their faces!)

Speaking of holidays, today marks a special day.  After a few months of growth, my husband will finally be allowed to shave his beard.  They were not allowed to even trim them lest pay the fine of $100!  The picture below is almost three weeks old, so his beard is much scragglier even now.  There will be a lot of happy wives this weekend.  I hope to get a before and after picture that I can share!

He looks annoyed, but he loves it when she cuddles with him, because at least she's warm!

He looks annoyed, but he loves it when she cuddles with him, because at least she’s warm!

That’s all I’ve got.  Have a Happy Holiday!  And be sure to check out the links down below this picture of Christmas cuties or they just might very well tell Santa on you!

IMG_3288This month’s Fly Participants.  Give them a round of buzzzzzzzzzzzz…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                 Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                            Battered Hope

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                 Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com                    Juicebox Confession

http://www.risanye.com                                     Risa Nye

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com               The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://www.clutteredgenius.com                          Cluttered Genius

 

October Fly on the Wall: The Too Many Pictures Edition

Fly on the WallSo you think you wanna be a fly on my wall?  You want to know what goes on in my house?  Read on… then be sure to click on some of the blogs at the bottom of the post.  They need love too!  That’s because we all compiled these nice little snippets of our lives into posts and are sharing them simultaneously to give you the ultimate fly experience. It will be like traveling all over the world except different.  And less expensive.  Certainly less expensive.

So one or two of you might recall my epic screw-up last month when I discovered that it was Fly on the Wall week too close to fake it.  Damn it.  Normally I’d stay up all night and finish it but that wasn’t happening this time.

And so thrilled about getting his picture taken.

As you can see my husband so thrilled about getting his picture taken.

You see, the Friday of last Fly on the Wall my husband and I were about to embark upon the celebration of our 15th wedding anniversary.  We got to stay overnight without children and got to eat really good food.  It was a good night!  So I apologize for the lack of fun (for you) as I got to have all the fun to myself (for me).

I also discovered a possible career that night.  Think Blogger Vs Fried Ice Cream?

I have decided to make it my life's work to travel to different Mexican restaurants around the world, trying to see which one has the best fried ice cream.  This one was pretty good.

I have decided to make it my life’s work to travel to different Mexican restaurants around the world, trying to see which one has the best fried ice cream. This one was pretty good.

We’ve also had a lot of other things going on this last couple of months…

New school year, new teachers…

Both kids are obviously back in school.

What a great idea, and extra ammunition for this little ham. Naturally the Professor demanded to know where his picture was. Sigh…

They are doing pretty well thus far.

test

Yep. She can read.

We’ve also had sports, as in the Professor started flag football and Evil Genius was his coach… Because I’m terrified of being sued for using the only good picture of The Professor in football which happened to be the one taken by the professional, here is a picture of The Princess at the football game instead…

The Princess at The Professor's football game: Wow it's chilly out here." Reaches into her bag. "It's a good thing I brought slippers to keep my hands warm!" Weirdo

The Princess at The Professor’s football game: Wow it’s chilly out here.” Reaches into her bag. “It’s a good thing I brought slippers to keep my hands warm!” Weirdo

The Princess started Girl Scouts this month. You know what that means, right?  Her father is actually quite addicted to Thin Mints.  Think I’m kidding?  I’m not.  It’s going to be like having a live in crack dealer come Spring.

Thank goodness she doesn’t sell this stuff… this would get me in trouble.

I got addicted to something new.

I got addicted to something new.  Mmmmmm.

The Princess spends a lot of time arguing with Daddy these days:

The Princess: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a princess!”
Evil Genius (jokingly):  “You’ll never be a princess. And if you are, I’ll burn your kingdom to the ground.”
The Princess (Not joking): “You’ll be dead by then!”

We a little tailgating recently:

Betcha can't tell what team we're rooting for.

Betcha can’t tell what team we’re rooting for.

I’ve spent a lot of time up late planning things.  Then I start thinking (I really need to stop doing that):

What I think of at 11:30 at night-How do stormtroopers go to the bathroom? I would think that wouldn’t be a good career choice for yours truly seeing as being able to pee quickly is very important to me.

Speaking of stormtroopers…

My children for Star Wars Reads Day.  1)  Princess Leia's braids are a family traditon-every photo of her mother at that age has braids just like hers, half in and half out! 2)  Yoda refused to let me finish the ears because he wanted to wear them so badly...

My children at Star Wars Reads Day.  Important things to note- 1) Princess Leia’s braids are a family tradition-every photo of her mother at that age has braids just like hers, half in and half out! 2) Yoda refused to let me finish the ears because he wanted to wear them so badly…

There’s been LOTS of work stuff, which is why I’m insane and have mashed potato brains:

I find it fascinating how much the Professor recalls for someone who barely seems to be paying attention most of the time!  Every program we have at the library he is quite the font of wisdom.  For example, he knew all about jousting when many other kids had no clue.  Guess I’m doing something right?

I'd like to say he was being knighted, but this gentleman was trying to prove a point of how armor protects your head!

I’d like to say he was being knighted, but this gentleman was trying to prove a point of how armor protects your head using The Professor as an example!

And we’ve generally been having fun…

When it's "Girls Night", that means that you watch girl movies, and you get to hold the baby unicorn and mommy gets to hold the mommy unicorn.  True story.

When it’s “Girls Night”, that means that you watch girl movies, and you get to hold the baby unicorn and mommy gets to hold the mommy unicorn. True story.

Well more often than not.  This was my Facebook status earlier this month:
Windows 8 should come with chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. *sob*
There’s also that whole writing thing, which reminds me…  I’m in a book.  Me and a bunch of other lovely bloggers.  Really!  I wouldn’t lie to you about this…
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Believe it or not, someone let me be in a book. They’ll learn… Go to Amazon to find out all the juicy details of how to get your mitts on this book!

Now don’t run away just yet.  Click on these blogs for more shenanigans…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                 Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                             Battered Hope

http://dinoheromommy.com/                         Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                 Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com               Crumpets and Bollocks

Fly on the Wall September 2014: The Stupidity Edition

Fly on the WallTwo weeks ago I got an email reminding me about the Fly on the Wall just like I get every month.

I sent a reply to Karen letting her know that I had received the email and knew that it was coming up.

I had a busy week.  An insanely busy week.  Like an I wasn’t even here type of week.

And then I thought it was next Friday, not this Friday.  Why?  I know how to check a calendar.  I know how to read.  But my brain failed me.

Stupid brain.

Normally I would stay up and write and write and write until it was done, even if it meant staying up all night.  But this weekend my mother is coming to watch our children so that my husband and I can go out and celebrate 15 years of marriage.  I need my sleep, even though at this point it will not be much sleep.

So instead of subjecting you to a poorly written last minute post, I will direct you to visit these wonderful bloggers so that you can see what it’s like to be a fly on the wall in their houses. PLEASE go check them out and let them know just how wonderful they are.  🙂

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                           Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                         The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                       Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                  Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                             Menopausal Mother

http://www.gomamao.com                                        Go Momma O

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                     Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                           Juicebox Confession

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                         Someone Else’s Genius

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                               Battered Hope

Beneath the Clearance Rack: A Tale of Unresolved Writer’s Block

Use Your WordsDid you know that every month you can be a part of something truly unique?  Karen of Baking in a Tornado regularly allows me to participate in the various writing challenges that she hosts and doesn’t tell me to hit the road.  At least she hasn’t yet.  If she’ll let me do it, by golly she’ll let anyone in. 

Use Your Words is one such challenge where participating bloggers provide four to six words or phrases.  These are then assigned to another blogger who can then tear his or her hair out trying to figure out how to use them in a coherent post.  These posts are simultaneously published at the same time so that you, the reader, can take in their amazingness like smelling apple pie right out of the oven.  I’m also tired and haven’t slept so I am using analogies very poorly.

That’s right.  It ain’t easy.  But yet I keep coming back every month…

This month my words were big ~ fast ~ ink ~ teddy bear ~Rumpelstiltskin ~ fart.  Oh that’s right.  One of my words was fart.  And I used it correctly in a sentence.

They were submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

Can't.Write.Anything.

Can’t.Write.Anything.  Nope.  Not a thing.

Once upon a time in a land not so far away there was a problem.  Not just a big problem, but a huge, gigantic enormous problem.

No matter how fast she scribbled, no matter how fast she typed,  the writer could not get the words to come out right.

She tried different kinds of ink, she tried different kinds of paper.  She even tried drinking different kinds of alcohol. No matter what she did her writing was all in vain.

She spent her nights sobbing, clutching her teddy bear, and drinking copious amounts of caffeine, hoping and praying that the words would somehow return.

“Why, why me?  Why must I be a victim of this horrible brain constipation?  Could I at least be lucky enough to have one giant word fart to relieve myself?”

All at once there was a deafening noise and a little man appeared on her keyboard.

“Who are you, Rumplestiltskin?”

Apparently this angered the little man so much he punched her in the nose and disappeared.

Later on that same evening after a binge of pretzels and various caffeinated beverages another person appeared to her.  This time she decided to keep her mouth shut, which was fine because it was actually full of pretzels.

“Follow the light.  You know the one. The red and white light in a perfect circle.  This holds the key to all that you know or think you know.”

(And she may or may not have been watching Willow earlier that evening.)

So she got in her car and went to Target.

So yeah.  Target holds all of life's secrets.

So yeah. Target holds all of life’s secrets.

The writer may not have found the words she was looking for.  But she did find underwear for $1.74, chocolate for 30% off, and a package of brightly colored lined paper which she never did use.  But that’s ok, because it was on clearance.

The moral of the story is that you may not be able to find the words you’re looking for, but you can certainly find something that you’re not looking for.  Just go to Target.  You’ll see.

This post has been brought to you by a severe case of writer’s block brought on by severe insomnia, too many pretzels, and perhaps one too many trips to Target in one week.  But you can also read posts by people who can actually produce coherent sentences when they try to write a blog post by clicking on one of the links below.

Seriously.  You just gonna sit there or are you going to click on one or two or all of those links?  Sheesh.  And I thought I procrastinated…

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                              Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                     Stacy Sews and Schools

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                                   Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                       Evil Joy Speaks 

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/        Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                            Follow me home . . .

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com               The Bergham’s Life Chronicles   

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                Battered Hope   

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: The Soundtrack of My Summer 2014

twisted mixtape tuesdayWelcome to the return of Twisted Mixtape Tuesday.  Aren’t you excited?  I am! 

What is Twisted Mixtape Tuesday?  It’s a once a month opportunity to share the songs you love according to the chosen theme!  This week’s theme is the Soundtrack of Your Summer. When you’re done with my post, be sure to hop over to the link up on My Skewed View!

So what did I listen to this summer?  A quick look at my most played songs painted the picture pretty clearly.

This first one?  Because awesome!!!!

Happy-Pharrell Williams

The next one is just one of several other songs I’ve listened to constantly from the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack.

Spirit in the Sky-Norman Greenbaum 

Another sky related song that is wildly catchy…

Sky Full of Stars-Coldplay

I don’t know why but I’ve been totally stuck on this next song all summer.  Lady Antebellum is one of my favorite crossover groups.  This is the most played, but there are many other songs by this group that I listen to on a playlist pretty regularly.

Just A Kiss-Lady Antebellum

The last one is an oldie but a goodie.  At least compared to the others.  Fun.

I’m A Believer-Smash Mouth

What songs have been the soundtrack of your summer?  Let me know in the comments, or better yet, make your own post and share by linking it up at My Skewed View!

The ABCs of Geekery

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I see the world through different eyes than other people do. Like this sign. I so totally would have thought this.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I live in a geek world. I admit that on here on a regular basis.  My husband is a geek, and my kids are geeks.  I live in a small town where geekery is in short supply, so you can say that I don’t exactly have a lot of people I can talk to.

Working in a library, I must say that I have found a few more kindred spirits.  I still get a lot of strange looks when I’m ask to recommend books and I gush over Tolkien and Rick Riordan.  But at least there are a few like minded teens that wholeheartedly embrace their geekiness right along with me.

That’s right, I live in my own little world much of the time, and I like it there.

Several writer friends and I decided to do a little exercise to get the creativity flowing.  Each of us wrote an ABCs of something that we consider ourselves quite familiar with.  I chose geekery, because, well, why not?

As it turns out, this post was much harder to write than I thought, because so many of the things I wanted to write about started with the same letter.  So I had to make choices.  And decision making is NOT my strong suit…

Yep, even as a kid I was a pretty big geek.

I’m Princess Leia, my sis is an Ewok. My lightsaber ruled.

Avengers-The movie responsible for bringing me out of my geek closet that I had retreated to when I became an adult.  We’ve seen it more times than I can count.  When there’s nothing on tv, one of two movies goes in the blu-ray player, Avengers or Iron Man 2.

Big Bang Theory-Thanks to this show, geeks are almost cool.  And I would totally hang out with Sheldon Cooper. Oh wait, I do, because my son is totally Sheldon.

Comic Book Store-I am very fortunate to have a wonderful comic book store right close by.  They have pretty much everything a geek could ever want!  We spend a fair amount of time there, even though I myself don’t purchase the comics like the kids (and husband) do, it’s still fun to look!

No.

No.  I want one that is fully functional.

Death Star-I want my own Death Star.  I do.  So I can go destroy things that make me unhappy.  It wouldn’t be actual size.  I could keep it in the garage.

Elves-I had to put something in here related to Tolkien.  This has nothing to do with Keebler elves, though I do like to eat their cookies.

Fan Fiction-Remember the books that were based on the Star Trek series that would tell other stories starring the characters?  I used to read them voraciously.  Now I think the equivalent would be fan fiction.

I never thought I'd love a tree so much until I saw this movie.

I never thought I’d love a tree so much until I saw this movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy-I had a hard time with this letter, so I finally picked this movie.  I didn’t think I was going to like it.  This is the latest Marvel movie to come out, and it is great.  Still not quite on par with Avengers or Captain America: Winter Soldier, but it is definitely worth seeing in the theater.  And it has a great soundtrack too!  G is also for Groot, whom I guarantee you will totally fall in love with when you see this movie.

Heinlein-When I was in grammar school, yes that’s what they call it in rural Maine, my mother was the librarian.  I discovered some wonderful things spending so much time in the library.  While other girls were reading Sweet Valley High books, I was reading Heinlein.  And Alan Dean Foster.  And Brian Daley.

So if I can't have the Death Star, can I just have Iron Man?

So if I can’t have the Death Star, can I just have Iron Man?

Iron Man-Because it’s Iron Man.  And Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man.  That is all.

John Williams and James Horner-I got involved with music because of these guys.  In case you don’t know, they are both composers who did the scores for, well, scores of geek movies.

Klingon-I have never gone to a Star Trek convention.  I think it would be great fun.  And I would love to dress up as a Klingon.  Really!  Because who wouldn’t have fun with that?

Libraries-Still the ultimate geek haven.  It’s changed a lot in the past few years.  A lot of geeks come to not only check out their favorite books, but also play games on the computers and play Magic with their friends.

Avengers Magic Mike

So much to see in the movies these days… Thank you Marvel.

Marvel Cinematic Universe-Thank you Marvel for making superhero movies fun again. I’m not saying I dislike the dark gritty Dark Knight movies, I’d just rather be laughing.

Nerds-Now they don’t make QUITE so much fun of us…

Optimus Prime-While I’m not a huge Transformers fan, I must add this for my husband’s sake.

I never get tired of this picture.  Never.

I never get tired of this picture. Never.

Physics-Because where would we geeks be without physics? Truth be told I barely passed Physics in high school.  But my husband took Quantum Physics for fun in college.  Science people…

Q-The best villain in the Star Trek universe.  Sorry Khan.

Role playing-Now get your mind out of the gutter!  That’s not what I’m talking about!  I’m talking about Dungeons and Dragons and Star Wars and superhero type stuff.  You get to pretend to be a character you like.  As a kid I role played Star Wars by mail.  Now it’s all technological and stuff.  Maybe it was a good thing I didn’t have the options available today as a kid.

We like Star Wars a little bit around here. Just a little.  Not much at all.

We like Star Wars a little bit around here. Just a little. Not much at all.

Star Wars and Star Trek-A friend of mine (you know who you are) insists that if you like one you cannot like the other.  I call that theory complete BS.  I find both incredibly awesome, and for totally different reasons.  I love the story of the Star Wars universe even if I haven’t been totally enamored with the newer movies.  I grew up on it.  I saw Star Wars for the first time at the drive-in my preschool years and have been in love with it ever since.  Star Trek is the reason why I can never really say I’m bored, when all I have to do is find an episode of one of the series to watch.  Or pop in one of the many movies-we own them all except for Into Darkness.

Time Travel-Back to the Future style, of course.  Still one of my all time favorite movies!

Underoos-I had C3PO underoos as a kid.  Now my kids have superhero underoos!  If that doesn’t scream geek I don’t know what does.  I kind of wish I still had some.

Villains-I love a good villain.  Ian McKellen’s Magneto is probably still my all time favorite villain.  Q, Darth Vader, Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman), The Borg Queen, Ivan Vanko, I could sit and name the ones I love for hours.  I especially love complicated villains, and the stories behind why they went bad.  In some cases, very, very bad.  In other cases, not so much.

It's the best website on the internets.  Nothing but Wil Wheaton's face photoshopped onto everything imaginable.

It’s the best website on the internets. Nothing but Wil Wheaton’s face photoshopped onto everything imaginable.  http://photoshopwilwheaton.tumblr.com/

Wil Wheaton– This guy is everywhere.  He is on every form of social media there is.  I think I follow him on every platform possible.  Why?  Because he is the ultimate geek.  He speaks to us geek folk in our language.  For the layperson, Wil played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek:The Next Generation.  He was the kid.  I had a poster of him in my bedroom, because I was a closet teenaged geek.  Now I probably look like I stalk the guy, but I don’t care. He’s our spokesperson.

X-Men-Because X is a hard letter.  I like X-Men.  And I wasn’t about to put Xbox, because Skyrim.

Yar’s Revenge-At one time I was one of those video game freaks, I had an Atari.  Then they got hard and complicated.  Now I play Tetris and that’s about it.  My husband is the major player in the house.

Remember this?

Remember this?

Zork-Only one of the coolest games ever made.  Do you remember Zork?  It was a game with no graphics, no visuals, nothing but words telling you what to do next.  This was something we did at school on those very first computers that we ever had in a lab.  This was even before Oregon Trail.  It.was.awesome.  Awhile back I had a copy of the game fall into my possession and was so very sad that I couldn’t get it to work on my computer.

Now I was a little late to the party, thanks to a really busy week and little inspiration to finish this, but there is a link up if you’d like to link up your very own ABC post of anything that you feel that you’re a bit of an expert in.

Selfies at the races.  Not sure who the guy is.

See my Captain America t-shirt?  I’m so proud I own one.  I just bought a sweatshirt too.  I’m not really obsessed with the Captain, I just have a really hard time finding Iron Man stuff I like.  😉