Fly on the Wall June 2015: The Fried Ice Cream Edition

That’s right, it’s that time of the month again… it’s Fly on the Wall!

Fly on the Wall is a monthly slice of awesomeness.  Participating bloggers share little snippets from their month all squished together into one post for your enjoyment, then put them up ALL AT THE SAME TIME JUST FOR YOU TO LOVE!

What’s not to like about that?

The cat doesn’t care about Fly on the Wall…

So where have I been?  Last month I apparently spaced off telling Karen I wanted to do this so I didn’t make it onto the list.  I wasn’t hiding and I certainly wasn’t dead… I just forgot.  Me?  Forget?  That NEVER happens!

We had lots of birthdays since the last time you heard from me…First Evil Genius turned the big 4-0.  His request was Mountain Dew cupcakes.  Get cake mix, add Mountain Dew, what could possibly go wrong, right????

ADD people trying to follow modified directions?  HA!  The first batch turned out like water.  I soon figured out that you had to put the Mountain Dew IN PLACE of all the liquid in the cake mix. Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

So not beautiful… but he seemed to like them.

Birthday #2-mine.  I turned 41.  It was uneventful.

Yes… fried ice cream. All the fried ice cream…

Then last but certainly not least was The Princess’s birthday.  She also wanted to go out for fried ice cream because that’s what Mommy did.  She got to wear a sombrero (I had declined the sombrero for personal reasons.)

We like fried ice cream a lot, can you tell?

But there was also cake.  Her mommy made a cake.  Did her mommy tell you she made a cake?  This one turned out… ok.

I said it before and I’ll say it again, I never professed to being a professional cake decorator. The kid is cute anyway.

We also finished school.  It’s kind of a big deal, because the older one will be attending middle school next year.  Hard to believe, huh?

Last day of school.

Other things went on too…

I went out to the schools to promote summer reading with a neighboring library.  I got the pleasure of speaking to my son and daughter’s classes.  What question does my son raise his hand to ask her?
“So if my mom works at one library, do I HAVE to go to that library????”
Thanks kid, I love you too.

In case you didn’t know, the Tooth Fairy has business hours: Teeth lost after 5pm will be processed the next business day. She also thanks you for your patience, because your business is very important to her.

So Evil Genius got his hands on a Go-kart. Guess which one wanted to race it?

I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for supper last night because dammit I’m a grown-up.

My Mother’s Day gift-I requested that the kids do the dishes tonight.
The Professor (as soon as his father is out of earshot): I don’t remember how to wash dishes.

My cousin gave us shower notes. Guess who has been using them?

Me: I got a reversible skirt at the consignment shop for $1.
Evil Genius:  What good is that? Who wants a skirt that only covers your stomach when you reverse it? That makes no sense whatsover…

The cat is after something in the stairway. After a moment I realize he’s after his shadow. Crazy, crazy cat.

Kitty does care about wrapping paper…

The Professor:  I just wanted you to know something happened to my gum so I threw it away.
Me: What happened to your gum?
The Professor:  I don’t know. It was too chewy.

I’m leaving work the other day and the kids head out to the car ahead of me. I stopped to bring something back inside and see the kids are just standing outside by the car.
Me: What’s the matter, is the car locked?
The Princess: There’s a bug in there.
The Professor: We believe it could be dangerous.

Things I never thought I’d say #903: “You don’t need a Captain America shield to do yoga.”

I got my hair pertied… did I forget to mention that?

I think I’ll stop there… Next month will be dedicated to the half marathon I didn’t die participating and other running things.  Because I can.  Now don’t YOU run away, check out the other blogs that are doing this too!

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                  Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                            Juicebox Confession

http://dinoheromommy.com/                               Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.angelaweight.com                                  Sanity Waiting to Happen

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                        Southern Belle Charm

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                   Searching for Sanity

http://www.gomamao.com                                            Go Mama O

http://eileensperpetuallybusy.blogspot.com/              Eileen’s Perpetually Busy

 

Fly on the Wall March 2015: The Headache Edition

Fly on the Wall is a series of snippets from my life that won’t really make up a whole blog post by themselves, but certainly together make up a fun little bit of reading!  What’s unique about this is that participating bloggers all write their posts and they are put up simultaneously for your reading pleasure.  Except mine, because mine was late (see the next paragraph for an explanation below).  Anyhoo, the links to the other blogs are at the bottom of the post.  Please take some time to visit them all, they are wonderful (and funny) people!

So I took a month off from writing, I can’t say that a lot of interesting things happened…  And seriously my computer crashed when I was writing this.  Blue screen of death!  I panicked big time!  Fortunately after shutting it down and letting it sit for awhile, it seems to be okay.  Anyhoo…

Look who got an American Girl doll. Yep. She named her Lizzie.

One night I had a dream that I was at work and it snowed only it snowed inside and I was trapped at work because I couldn’t drive my car through the snow inside the BUILDING I WORK IN. I need help. Seriously.  I think I just needed Spring.

**********

The Professor saw a commercial for what he thinks will be his new favorite thing: Bacon wrapped deep dish pizza.  Ew.

 **********

My evening spent with my husband ended with conversations about how agricultural sprayers would be advantageous in a zombie apocalypse (as opposed to a combine) and how it would feel to be kicked by a kangaroo.

All of that was just in time for Valentine’s Week. We’re so romantic.

My Valentine lovies. Aren’t they cute?

So The Princess is in that stage where she is losing lots of teeth. Two teeth were lost in a short period of time at our house. This is a lot for a tooth fairy to keep up with.

Lost tooth one went three days without payment. Finally a pink bag with magical confetti hearts and four shiny quarters in it appeared on the fourth day, along with a letter of explanation. Apparently the tooth fairy had a tooth convention in Toothiana Texas.

Lost tooth two also went three days sans money. Finally a dollar miraculously appeared under Mommy’s pillow this morning. We’re thinking the tooth fairy was playing tricks. Or maybe got confused…

I’d like the record to show that the tooth fairy does not have a drinking problem. Also, my daughter is a very light sleeper.

The kids got Beanie Boos. They’re cute but a little creepy with their big eyes. They love them.

After supper I swear I heard my husband said “Great, now I can crap. I’ve been waiting and gathering things all day to do it.”

What he actually said was that he can “craft”. On Guild Wars, the online game that he plays. I’m still not sure which one actually makes more sense to me…

 **********

The Professor:  “What movie is this?”
Evil Genius: “Facing the Giants. Ever seen it?”
The Professor: Maybe I have. Unless I didn’t then I haven’t.

**********

The Headache Diaries-Facebook entries made by me during the month of the headache:

Hi I’m Sarah, and this is my headache. Maybe I should name it? What is a good name for a headache that won’t go away?
And Coming soon, Headache, the Musical…

Relief…

Evil Genius’s cheesecake: Now with divine healing powers.

I mean, yeah it’s always been heavenly and all, but tonight it made my migraine go away, and that was just the batter!

Eat his cheesecake tomorrow, gain superpowers. It could make a pretty good Friday, huh?

Help…

I give up. I surrender. Please just go away and let me be! You have made me into a completely worthless individual today!

Finally…

Just to share what a super kid I have: In an attempt to combat these terrible headaches I’m having, I quit drinking diet pop. I really gave up caffeine for the most part. I can’t say it’s really helping, but I’m trying. I’ve hardly had any caffeine other than the occasional coke in the last week.

Yesterday was hard because I had to work in the evening. I gave in and gave my son a dollar to run down to Casey’s to get me a can of Coke. He happily complied and it did help.

This morning I got up and came downstairs. He was sitting on the couch with a dollar in his hand. “What’s that for?” I asked him.

“Oh, it’s mine. I thought I’d bring it just in case you need something today mom.”

He’s my favorite today.

In conclusion…

So I am off of caffeine for the most part.  I’m still getting headaches, but not as bad.  So we’ll see.

**********

Graceful thing that I am, I dropped and broke my glasses.  Fortunately it was time to make an appointment anyway.  I got the indestructable flexon glasses, and they are PURPLE!!!!!

New glasses!

I just watched my cat flip a vhs tape across the floor and proceed to attack it… That’s right, make sure it’s dead.

 **********

Newsflash: Frozen hashbrowns are not a ready to eat food (says on the package).

 **********

The following is me online trying to find a new weight workout now that I’m running. Keep in mind I’m not a beginner, I’ve been lifting for many years:

Oh… I don’t want to watch a video…
That girl looks too happy, I can’t do that workout. Seriously, she’s enjoying that swiss ball waaaaay too much.
Our gym doesn’t have kettlebells.
I really don’t care what Reese Witherspoon does, thank you.
Last time I checked I’m not a man.

Yeah, still haven’t found a new workout…

**********

Evil Genius:  “How much snow do we have? 3 inches under the dog. Is that a standard measuring system?”

**********

Bad things to use as a bookmark for your library book #6: Your birth certificate.  True story… Not me, fortunately, but some other poor soul that is probably wondering where it went.  I sent it back to the library it came from.

**********

So upcoming things… The Professor starts baseball on Sunday.  This will be interesting for him, having to deal with other people in a team situation.  I may drink a lot the next two months.

In the next few months I will be running three 5Ks and a half marathon.  Am I crazy?  Pretty much.  I’m finally starting to see results.  Next month may very well be the running edition!

Now… don’t run away, check out these amazing people below.  You know you wanna…(My apologies to Karen, I really didn’t want to be late with this.  I still love you and will be ON TIME next month!  XOXO)

 http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                  Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                        The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://gndisney.wordpress.com                                Disneyland in Kentucky

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                            Juicebox Confession

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                      Searching for Sanity

http://www.gomamao.com                                      Go Mama O

November 2014 Fly on the Wall: The Extremely Random Edition

For those of you that read this monthly, you know what this post is all about…

For those of you that might be first-timers, let me explain what this is.  Fly on the Wall is a collection of snippets from everyday life that by themselves wouldn’t make a whole post.  Participating bloggers all post simultaneously, because the more the merrier!  You not only get to read my randomness, but other people’s fun as well.  Stay tuned at the bottom of this post for links to other Fly on the Wall posts.

Let’s face it, my life is a bunch of random snippets, folks.  Without further ado, let me present the mostly adult quotes I’ve collected this month.  It’s not that my children aren’t funny these days, it’s just that the adults have had more unusual things to say lately.

But first we have the mandatory Halloween photo:

Princess Hello Kitty and Minecraft’s Super Steve. A lot of swearing went into making that Steve head.

Me: “Thanks for the kiss before you left this morning”
Evil Genius: “I gave you a kiss before I left?”
Me: “Yes”
Evil Genius: “Are you sure it was me?”
Me: “Who else would it be?”
Evil Genius: “I don’t know, but that doesn’t sound like me at all.”

Me: “Oh forget it! Just go back to your own little world over there!”
Evil Genius: “You have it wrong. It’s a big world, just very low population density!”

Jack-o-Lantern Pizza. Apparently it’s a tradition now.

Evil Genius: (spitting into the sink) “I don’t know where all that hair in my mouth came from”
Me: “Maybe your beard is growing inward.”
Evil Genius: “Really? Are you telling me I have an In-grown beard?”

The kids desperately wanted to carve a pumpkin. Or rather, they wanted someone ELSE to carve it. Nonsense-dad put them to work pulling out the guts.

Evil Genius’s female coworker: “Men sometimes don’t get the non verbal communication.”
Evil Genius: “No no, we get it! We just choose to ignore it.”

We had just finished watching the movie Chef.
Evil Genius: “What was that movie about?”
Me: “It was about the relationship between him and his son.  It was like Real Steel, only without giant robots.”

The Professor ran his first official 5K with dad. He ran all but about ten blocks of it!

While the Professor had a pretty good time of it, I did not.  A couple of blocks in I slipped on loose gravel and fell hard, skidding across the pavement.  I got back up and kept going, but ended up finishing fourth from the end.  I discovered later that I’d taken all the skin off of one knee and was bleeding.  Not my best moment-since then I’ve tried to get back into things.  I just downloaded the Couch to 5K app and hope to start on that next week.  We shall see!

So I went back red. It’s hard to tell just how red in this picture, but I assure you it’s very pretty.

Things overheard in my house recently:

“VETO! No one is duct taping anyone!”

“My eyes hurt having heard that.”

“Never season angry!”

“Will you get that pizza off your head?”

“I have not yet lost my superpower, my ability to determine obscure roles by actors you’ve never heard of.”

I went to the doctor this past month and she was completely honest with me.  She told me I was seriously depressed.  I’m working on getting better, but unfortunately I have a long way to go.  I have several posts just gathering dust in my inbox as I try to put the right words in them so that they can be published.  Anything coming out of this brain these days isn’t exactly publish-worthy material-so I hope you enjoyed this post.

So getting through one day at a time. An Iron Man shirt makes every day better though.

But hey, forget about me and my issues-go check out the buzz in these other blogger’s abodes:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                          Follow me home

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                        Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                 Battered Hope

http://dinoheromommy.com/                         Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                   Someone Else’s Genius 

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com                     Crumpets and Bollocks

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                          Juicebox Confession

http://www.risanye.com                                              Risa Nye

http://www.gomamao.com                                    Go Mamma O

The ABCs of Geekery

I see the world through different eyes than other people do. Like this sign. I so totally would have thought this.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I live in a geek world. I admit that on here on a regular basis.  My husband is a geek, and my kids are geeks.  I live in a small town where geekery is in short supply, so you can say that I don’t exactly have a lot of people I can talk to.

Working in a library, I must say that I have found a few more kindred spirits.  I still get a lot of strange looks when I’m ask to recommend books and I gush over Tolkien and Rick Riordan.  But at least there are a few like minded teens that wholeheartedly embrace their geekiness right along with me.

That’s right, I live in my own little world much of the time, and I like it there.

Several writer friends and I decided to do a little exercise to get the creativity flowing.  Each of us wrote an ABCs of something that we consider ourselves quite familiar with.  I chose geekery, because, well, why not?

As it turns out, this post was much harder to write than I thought, because so many of the things I wanted to write about started with the same letter.  So I had to make choices.  And decision making is NOT my strong suit…

I’m Princess Leia, my sis is an Ewok. My lightsaber ruled.

Avengers-The movie responsible for bringing me out of my geek closet that I had retreated to when I became an adult.  We’ve seen it more times than I can count.  When there’s nothing on tv, one of two movies goes in the blu-ray player, Avengers or Iron Man 2.

Big Bang Theory-Thanks to this show, geeks are almost cool.  And I would totally hang out with Sheldon Cooper. Oh wait, I do, because my son is totally Sheldon.

Comic Book Store-I am very fortunate to have a wonderful comic book store right close by.  They have pretty much everything a geek could ever want!  We spend a fair amount of time there, even though I myself don’t purchase the comics like the kids (and husband) do, it’s still fun to look!

No.  I want one that is fully functional.

Death Star-I want my own Death Star.  I do.  So I can go destroy things that make me unhappy.  It wouldn’t be actual size.  I could keep it in the garage.

Elves-I had to put something in here related to Tolkien.  This has nothing to do with Keebler elves, though I do like to eat their cookies.

Fan Fiction-Remember the books that were based on the Star Trek series that would tell other stories starring the characters?  I used to read them voraciously.  Now I think the equivalent would be fan fiction.

I never thought I’d love a tree so much until I saw this movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy-I had a hard time with this letter, so I finally picked this movie.  I didn’t think I was going to like it.  This is the latest Marvel movie to come out, and it is great.  Still not quite on par with Avengers or Captain America: Winter Soldier, but it is definitely worth seeing in the theater.  And it has a great soundtrack too!  G is also for Groot, whom I guarantee you will totally fall in love with when you see this movie.

Heinlein-When I was in grammar school, yes that’s what they call it in rural Maine, my mother was the librarian.  I discovered some wonderful things spending so much time in the library.  While other girls were reading Sweet Valley High books, I was reading Heinlein.  And Alan Dean Foster.  And Brian Daley.

So if I can’t have the Death Star, can I just have Iron Man?

Iron Man-Because it’s Iron Man.  And Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man.  That is all.

John Williams and James Horner-I got involved with music because of these guys.  In case you don’t know, they are both composers who did the scores for, well, scores of geek movies.

Klingon-I have never gone to a Star Trek convention.  I think it would be great fun.  And I would love to dress up as a Klingon.  Really!  Because who wouldn’t have fun with that?

Libraries-Still the ultimate geek haven.  It’s changed a lot in the past few years.  A lot of geeks come to not only check out their favorite books, but also play games on the computers and play Magic with their friends.

So much to see in the movies these days… Thank you Marvel.

Marvel Cinematic Universe-Thank you Marvel for making superhero movies fun again. I’m not saying I dislike the dark gritty Dark Knight movies, I’d just rather be laughing.

Nerds-Now they don’t make QUITE so much fun of us…

Optimus Prime-While I’m not a huge Transformers fan, I must add this for my husband’s sake.

I never get tired of this picture. Never.

Physics-Because where would we geeks be without physics? Truth be told I barely passed Physics in high school.  But my husband took Quantum Physics for fun in college.  Science people…

Q-The best villain in the Star Trek universe.  Sorry Khan.

Role playing-Now get your mind out of the gutter!  That’s not what I’m talking about!  I’m talking about Dungeons and Dragons and Star Wars and superhero type stuff.  You get to pretend to be a character you like.  As a kid I role played Star Wars by mail.  Now it’s all technological and stuff.  Maybe it was a good thing I didn’t have the options available today as a kid.

We like Star Wars a little bit around here. Just a little. Not much at all.

Star Wars and Star Trek-A friend of mine (you know who you are) insists that if you like one you cannot like the other.  I call that theory complete BS.  I find both incredibly awesome, and for totally different reasons.  I love the story of the Star Wars universe even if I haven’t been totally enamored with the newer movies.  I grew up on it.  I saw Star Wars for the first time at the drive-in my preschool years and have been in love with it ever since.  Star Trek is the reason why I can never really say I’m bored, when all I have to do is find an episode of one of the series to watch.  Or pop in one of the many movies-we own them all except for Into Darkness.

Time Travel-Back to the Future style, of course.  Still one of my all time favorite movies!

Underoos-I had C3PO underoos as a kid.  Now my kids have superhero underoos!  If that doesn’t scream geek I don’t know what does.  I kind of wish I still had some.

Villains-I love a good villain.  Ian McKellen’s Magneto is probably still my all time favorite villain.  Q, Darth Vader, Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman), The Borg Queen, Ivan Vanko, I could sit and name the ones I love for hours.  I especially love complicated villains, and the stories behind why they went bad.  In some cases, very, very bad.  In other cases, not so much.

It’s the best website on the internets. Nothing but Wil Wheaton’s face photoshopped onto everything imaginable.  http://photoshopwilwheaton.tumblr.com/

Wil Wheaton– This guy is everywhere.  He is on every form of social media there is.  I think I follow him on every platform possible.  Why?  Because he is the ultimate geek.  He speaks to us geek folk in our language.  For the layperson, Wil played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek:The Next Generation.  He was the kid.  I had a poster of him in my bedroom, because I was a closet teenaged geek.  Now I probably look like I stalk the guy, but I don’t care. He’s our spokesperson.

X-Men-Because X is a hard letter.  I like X-Men.  And I wasn’t about to put Xbox, because Skyrim.

Yar’s Revenge-At one time I was one of those video game freaks, I had an Atari.  Then they got hard and complicated.  Now I play Tetris and that’s about it.  My husband is the major player in the house.

Remember this?

Zork-Only one of the coolest games ever made.  Do you remember Zork?  It was a game with no graphics, no visuals, nothing but words telling you what to do next.  This was something we did at school on those very first computers that we ever had in a lab.  This was even before Oregon Trail.  It.was.awesome.  Awhile back I had a copy of the game fall into my possession and was so very sad that I couldn’t get it to work on my computer.

Now I was a little late to the party, thanks to a really busy week and little inspiration to finish this, but there is a link up if you’d like to link up your very own ABC post of anything that you feel that you’re a bit of an expert in.

See my Captain America t-shirt?  I’m so proud I own one.  I just bought a sweatshirt too.  I’m not really obsessed with the Captain, I just have a really hard time finding Iron Man stuff I like.  😉

August Fly on the Wall: Bob’s Lubed Bamboo Edition

If you tell your Iphone “A whop bop-a-lu a whop bam boom” it will translate it as “What Bob lube up a lot bamboo.”

Confused? I was trying out the talk to text function in the Notes to try to help preserve all those precious quotes for future Fly on the Wall posts. And it was funny.

Yes that’s right people, it’s fly time again.  Did you know that I spend quite a bit of time each month preparing for this moment? 

But Sarah, what exactly is Fly on the Wall?  And how will it make my life deeper and more meaningful?

Glad you asked, random anonymous person who kind of sounds like me.  Fly on the Wall is a post putting together many of the random things that are said or done around the house that on their own wouldn’t make up a post on their own.  Eleven bloggers all publish their posts at the same time with links to all the participating people so that you will get to take in all of their awesomeness in the SAME TIME PERIOD. 

Hot damn.  So make sure you check out some of the links at the bottom of this post.

As far as making your life deeper and more meaningful?  I’m not so sure about that happening.  But you will laugh…

This picture from the State Fair makes me laugh every time I see it.

The kids are playing legos in the next room.
The Princess: Wait! My lego guy says to wait!
The Professor: Ok, what’s his name?
The Princess: His name is Rotisserie.
(I suppose that’s better than Victoria Secret.)

The Professor:  “These shorts make me better. I’m like Ezra 2.0.”

My Facebook status a little more than halfway through our week of vacation:  So a week of vacation thus far: Sunday we took a trip to the zoo, yesterday we bought American cheese and cat litter, and tomorrow my husband gets an oil change. Bet you’re so jealous.

The Professor, upon hearing about Pigs in Space:  This pigs in space, is that an angry birds thing?

My children are deprived. They had never had cotton candy before!

We went to the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha.  The most interesting animal name we saw was a Screaming Hairy Armadillo.  No I did not take a picture, because it was dark and I couldn’t see it. Couldn’t hear it either.

I don’t have a bucket list, I have a Dixie cup list.

A good app to invent for those long car rides:  A where’s the next potty app, so we how long we have to wait until we can stop and pee at an actual restroom.  Somebody get on that, will ya?

Perhaps you saw my husband and I out on a date at the Piggly Wiggly? Apparently we also brought Scott and Pa.

Recently we decided to do something that normal people do for a change and watch Game of Thrones.  Since we have it at the library we have rented it and have been watching it as we can.  It’s pretty good, though I can do without the very graphic killings and whatnot (unless you live in a box, you know what I mean by the whatnot). I literally sit and watch it, ready to turn my head at a moment’s notice so I don’t see heads being sliced off/throats being cut/etc.  Here are some things that have been uttered or typed on Facebook chat while watching Game of Thrones in our living room:

“I have to get off here now and go watch all the sex.  Evil Genius just put Game of Thrones in.”

“I wonder if they have breast auditions.”

“This is going to end badly.”

“Hey look, it’s John Oates.”

I really have to get off of Facebook while I’m watching this, because so far I keep seeing “Everybody diiiiiiiiessssss!”

(Maybe this is where Bob’s lubed bamboo fits in?)

Look! A four leaf clover!

After arguing with my kids about the fact that they NEED to go outside and then MAKING them go outside for a bit, the thing that irks me is this: I wish someone would make ME go play outside while they do all my chores.

The Princess:  “Mommy, look, the Science Center has a MOAT!”  Hmmm, must be to keep unwanted science out?

Evil Genius:  “I’ll take a triple shot soy vanilla latte.  That’s right, that’s a man’s coffee.”

The Professor:  “These sunglasses make me look like a man.”

Played slow pitch softball for the first time ever.  My kids were the ones on the bleachers, biting each other on the butt.  Just in case you were wondering.

The first day of school. Adorable. Especially when they aren’t biting each other on the butt.

Now don’t forget-go visit my other friends (yes I have those.)

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                            Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                   Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                                Menopausal Mother

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                          Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.gomamao.com                                          Go Mamma O

Racecar is a Palindrome And Other Racing Stuff: My Family’s Experience With NASCAR

Why yes, there aren’t any rules prohibiting you from rooting for multiple teams at once as you can see by my attire. My Kevin Harvick shirt is there, underneath all the layers (it was COLD!)

I might have shared once or twice that my family is huge into NASCAR.  Recently I was asked to share my family’s experience with the sport with
Fanatics, and I figured it would be good inspiration to perhaps get me to do some more writing.  Naturally the more part didn’t happen, but I did have a lot of fun writing this post!

I myself didn’t always follow the sport, my husband being the fanatic (not just of NASCAR, he is into sports, period). I simply watched from afar, poking a good bit of fun at him.

The first race I ever really watched was Daytona in 2001.  Ironically, that was the day that Dale Earnhardt died, and I just happened to be watching.  How sad is that introduction to the sport?  Not too long after that a show was created that showed NASCAR drivers in their natural habitats.  It was called NASCAR 360 and it followed around several drivers as they went about their day.  I developed quite the affinity for one Mr. Kevin Harvick and his wife Delana, and have been a big fan ever since.  I also root for Matt Kenseth, and also have been known to cheer for Mark Martin, Kent Schrader, and Jeff Burton when they were racing full-time.

I love the fact that you can look right in the pit box and see Delana Harvick sitting there!  Now Kevin has moved on to a different team since then, but he will always be the driver of the 29 to me!

My husband has been a race fan all his life.  He’s from Oskaloosa, Iowa, where there is a racetrack right uptown.  He grew up rooting for Awesome Bill from Dawsonville, the amazing Bill Elliot.

By the time he came around, my son was born into a family that loved racing.  At the tender age of two he stole my thick NASCAR preview magazine and memorized all the names of the drivers, their numbers, their owners, and so forth.  He was TWO.

This two year old also decided that Jeff Gordon was his favorite driver.  In my household at that time, it was almost blasphemy.  Eventually as Jeff became less whiney, we learned to tolerate this decision.  It could have been worse, he could have chosen Tony Stewart.  This child was so into Jeff Gordon that he was Jeff Gordon for Halloween three years in a row, and still has a Jeff Gordon themed bedroom!

He decided he was a Jeff Gordon fan at the age of two. I swear his first words were “Dupont Chevrolet”.

My daughter has been dragging her feet about NASCAR.  She likes it but not like we do.  Greg Biffle is her man.  She also roots for Kyle Busch because she likes M&Ms.  Once or twice she has uttered the words “Go Danica Patrick.”  Them’s fightin words in this house…

I would like the record to note that I have done quite well in two different NASCAR fantasy leagues.  I kicked butt.  I was awesome.  I’m only throwing that in because it will probably be the only time I will be able to say I did well at anything involving sports.

In April of 2012 we got the opportunity to attend our first race as a family at the Kansas Speedway in Kansas City, Kansas.  I being the anxious one naturally balked at the cost of attending such an event, but in the end it came out okay.  It was definitely a unique experience, and here are a few things we took away from it:

Squeeeeee! We were so close to the cars!!!!

1)  No matter what they say the weather is going to be, prepare for the opposite.  It was supposed to be 75 and beautiful.  It was in the 40s and freezing.

2)  Kettlecorn is a wonderful way to satiate two starving young children.

3)  Choose your seats wisely. The ones we got weren’t overly expensive, and we got to see the drivers pretty close when they had driver introductions.

4)  Bring a good camera.  My camera was so awesome that I got a picture of Delana Harvick sitting in the pit booth, and I was pretty far away.  So.Awesome.

5)  Earplugs.  You’ll need them.  Trust me.

6)  It’s nothing, absolutely nothing like watching it on tv.  You can see and hear everything.  And experience things like when they say that a car doesn’t sound right, you know it when you’re there in person.

7)  Races are kind of boring when no one wrecks.  There was one caution for Bobby Labonte blowing up.  That was it.  Booo.

8)  Get a souvenir t-shirt.  Get two.  Hell get seven of every driver and wear them all over the top of one another.

9)  Preschoolers will sleep where they lie, even at a noisy racetrack.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

NASCAR is a family thing in our household.  It’s probably the only thing we can agree on.  Forget football, soccer, tennis, curling, etc-we all enjoy this sport.  We may not like the same drivers, but it is fun watching it together!

One year, Daytona fell on Valentine’s Day. They did that just for us, right? 🙂

 

Lego My Sanity: A Bit of a Rant

Welcome to this month’s Use Your Words Challenge!  Bloggers participating in this challenge literally get to swap words to use in their posts, and the resulting masterpieces are all published at the same time for the world to read! 

The words I was given this month are: White ~ Table ~ Legos ~ Hair Brush ~ Tube

They were submitted by: http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/

Be sure to see what other bloggers came up with by following the links at the bottom of the post.  Now read on for my little rant!

They get it honest. Honest.  I’m constantly reminded just how mean I am because I did not permit him to purchase this $400 set.

In case you haven’t figured out by reading some of my older posts, we are a lego family.

I love legos, because they encourage creativity and problem solving and all of that jazz for two children who would rather be parked in front of a television most of the time.  My kids would be content to play with legos all day long some days.  That’s cool, because it keeps them well entertained.

I also hate legos, because my children never pick them up.

Apparently legos are so much fun that we can never be done playing with them completely.  “But I’m not finished yet!” are the words of protest met most often when we have to quit building to do silly things like eat your supper, go brush your hair with a hair brush so you don’t look like an orphan child when we leave the house, or get ready for bed.

They were delighted when the Easter Bunny delivered these guys.

We tried establishing a specific area in the room adjacent to our living room where the legos could congregate.  There is a table set up specifically for building with legos, but instead it functions more as another place to put legos that are not being used.  The legos that are “being used” are all over the floor.

A perfect example of what really grinds my gears when the legos are out:  The Princess must only use white legos to construct her house of awesomeness.  That means that approximately 90% of the other legos must be thrown aside as she searches for those particular bricks.  On the floor.  Where they can be stepped on.

Imagine my chagrin when my husband gave in to the children’s request to bring the BIG container of legos in from storage.  So instead of just two somewhat large containers we bought at Christmas time, we also have one giant rubbermaid tub that has been sitting in the living room for quite some time.  It’s currently off limits.  Because Mom is tired of stepping on legos.  And Mom is mean.

Whoever put this up must be a parent with at least two young children.

Yep that’s right.  Currently I play the role of the bad guy because I’m constantly threatening to donate the legos lying about in the play room to a child who will take care of them and because I won’t run out and buy them a copy of The LEGO Movie.

Why haven’t I bought the LEGO movie?  Do I really want to hear “Everything is Awesome” 12000 times a day?  It’s already bad enough that I hear “Where’s my pants?” constantly.  I’m sure I’ll break down eventually-maybe when school has started and we aren’t together 24/7.

My solution to the LEGO problem naturally  would be  a big vacuum  tube.  Simply put it in the center of the room and all the bricks would be sucked up, kind of like that thing on the sand crawler on Star Wars.  You know, the one that sucks up R2D2?  Wouldn’t that horrible?  Not permanently, of course, just sucked back into their big old container.  Or to just take all the legos and make one big long road with them.  Instead of telling people to follow the yellow brick road, it would be to follow the lego brick road!  Sorry kids, you can’t use those bricks, it’s part of my road so people can find stuff.

Thank you for joining me for my little rant.  Now I want to hear from you.  Do your children possess a toy that you both love and hate? Is there something that your kids simply will not pick up no matter what you threaten?  I’d love to know that I’m not alone.

http://bakinginatornado.com                                Baking In A Tornado

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                      Stacy Sews and Schools

http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/                              Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/         Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                        Dates 2 Diapers 2

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com/                  The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://themomisodes.com                                    The Momisodes

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                   Someone Else’s Genius

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                 Follow me home . . .

http://www.crumpetsandbollocks.com             Crumpets and Bollocks

Fly on the Wall May 2014: The Second Breakfast Edition

Welcome to the May 2014 edition of the Fly on the Wall!  This month we are still abuzz at our house. Where have I been?  Interestingly enough, my boss was called for jury duty.  No big deal, right?  Wrong!  The poor lady ended up being at justice’s beck and call for THREE WEEKS!  I was barely staying in the blogging game before that happened.  The good news is that I have several things that occurred over the past month that should give me plenty of fodder for posts, if I would only WRITE THEM!!!!

As of publication of this edition, my kids will be out of school for the year at 11:15 Central Time.  Today.  Yes you saw that right.  This is starting on May 23rd and out until August 14th.  Can you believe that????  

While you’re pondering that, read below what has occurred in my place of residence this past month.  Then afterwards visit some of the other participants in this month’s fly post by following the links at the bottom of the post.

First things first. Will insomnia render someone completely crazy or just mildly insane?
Asking for a friend.

The Princess:  “You’re my favorite Mommy that I’ve ever had.”
Me:  “I’m the only Mommy that you’ve ever had.  Unless you have one stashed under your bed somewhere.”
The Princess:  “I wouldn’t feed her so no.”

Words uttered in my house this past month: “Do you have the sound remote? I can’t hear the TV over the chicken.”

Evil Cheesecake Version #4. White Chocolate Raspberry. I at least got to have some of the batter. I didn’t get any cheesecake.

Evil Genius (to the kids): What are you two talking about?
The Professor: Onions.
Me: Onions?
The Professor: The Princess thought the Memorial Union was the Memorial Onion.
Yeah I always get those two mixed up too…

We have something known as experimental music at our house.  This is when my children experiment playing the piano using various parts of their body.
“Use your feet!  Play the piano with your head!  Play it with your BUTT!”
How about not.

The cat kept sampling Evil Genius’s Diet Dr Pepper. I wasn’t sure if I should take it away or keep watching to see what it does to him…

The Princess made her own scrapbook with her own pictures in it as reasonable fascimiles to real life. Can you tell what she wrote as the caption on this one?

Keep in mind that there are some very important questions to ask in life.
Like what kind of wine best compliments microwaveable macaroni and cheese?

The Professor spies me eating nutrigrain waffles.  His reaction?
The Professor:  Are you eating breakfast AGAIN????
I had to think about this for awhile.  Then it dawned on me that I had indeed eaten breakfast earlier that morning.  I had just forgotten.
Ah…Second breakfast.

The Princess played soccer this Spring.  Unfortunately, the silly weather we’ve had this spring has really mucked it up for some of us parents.  I got to attend one game the whole season.
I went and peed my pants from coughing so much.
The end.

Signs that maybe I need to NOT be on Facebook at all hours of the night when I can’t sleep: At some point I put Jay and Silent Bob on my list of inspirational people.

I just never know who is going to be waiting for me after school…

A few weeks ago they had themed days at school.  One of the days the kids were supposed to dress as a career that they wanted to pursue someday.  The Princess announces that she is going to dress like a Princess.
Me:  “A Princess is not a career, pick something else.  A career is like a job.”
The Princess:  “Oh yes it is.  A Princess’s job is to take care of her castle.  AND her people.”
She set me straight, yes she did.

Childhood Myth #491: If the dog pees on it, as soon as it’s dry it’s ok to play with.

I picked up the kids at school for The Princess’s six year old checkup.  As we were walking to my car, The Professor points to an apartment building and says “That is where my friend from school lives.  She lives in apartment 3D.”
He knows me too well, before I could even say anything he quickly added with a sigh “No mom, they do not do everything in 3D there.”
Fine, ruin all my fun.

I got the ultimate nerd compliments this past month.
1)  I was asked to list all of the Marvel movies in correct viewing order.
2)  I was asked all about the phone booth at the edge of town by several people assuming that I would know why there was a Tardis in rural Iowa.

This has got to be the most awesome t-shirt ever made in the history of universe. I must have one.

So as I said, today is the 11:15 dismissal.  Then we shall launch into 11 1/2 weeks of total togetherness with my two lovely children… Hold me.

Don’t forget to check out these wonderful blogs that are also participating in the Fly on the Wall this month! 

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                                   The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                     Stacy Sews and Schools

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                                   Battered Hope

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                      Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                                 Menopausal Mother

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                 Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://sorrykidblog.com/                              Sorry kid, your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others

 

Fabulous 5Ks With Kids and Other Far-Fetched Fiction

Once upon a time I had a notion that I would simply let my children come with me while I ran a 5K.

It will be fun.  We will be active AND spend time together.  After all, I’ve seen the pictures of smiling, happy families exercising together.

At this point everyone was still smiling.

Guess what?  As it turns out, my family is NOT one of those families!

I should have seen the signs.  After all, getting my kids to venture outdoors is something I liken to having teeth pulled.  Getting outdoors AND doing something active is even worse.  A prime example:  I forcibly signed my children up for soccer this Spring.  I bribed the younger one with pink shin guards, the older one with shin guards that you can insert different colors into.  Hopefully the shin guards will provide wonderful attitudes too!  Right?

For the last few years our little town has held a 5K in March.  It literally starts two blocks from our house and goes past our house.  How convenient.  We only had to walk out the front door to participate.

Evil Genius is training for a marathon.  Since he is actually one who runs the whole way, he decided to run the race as training.  I also wanted to do the race, since I am doing one in July and need the experience.  Therefore this meant I got to walk with the kids.  We used up our babysitter points the weekend before (remember the wine bar?)

There were serious runners too, like Evil Genius.

So no big deal, right?  HA!

To help you envision what exactly my race was like, I have painstakingly prepared this little visual for you so you can see just what happened where!  As you can see, I have very advanced skills when it comes to this stuff.  Go ahead, offer me a job…

As you can see, once dad took the kids it was a breeze…

Afterwards we met up for pancakes.  They were delicious.

She has her pancakes. She is now happy.  Mission accomplished.

And there was sausage too.  Now happiness abounded.

To the victors go the spoils, and in this case, the sausage.

Great… huh?  Below I model my cool free t-shirt.  Sexy, huh?

The Princess took this picture for me. Her horrified reaction after she took it and saw it on my computer: “Mommy, where are your FEET????”

So yes, I did a 5K.  So I didn’t run it the whole time but I did make it to the the end.  I beat nine people.  I think there should be a handicap for bringing two children with you during a race!

Have you ever run a 5K?  Walked a 5K?  Dragged one or two or more children along with you?

Guess Who’s Coming For Dinner: Conversations With Geeklings

I never understood what the big deal was about… being normal.

From time to time, we have conversations in our household that seem perfectly normal to me, but that’s because I live here.

Later on as I think about it, not so much.

We’re nerds.  Geeks.  We don’t tend to like things that the normal person would enjoy.  We’re not normal.  And really, that’s perfectly okay.  I wouldn’t want it any other way.

This week with the anticipated opening of the latest Marvel movie which I am attending on opening night (Squeeeeee!), the conversations have been centered around superheroes.

Remember, we don’t get out much.

It started with Evil Genius disagreeing with my choice of serving utensil.  The ladle was in the dirty dishes, so I grabbed a great big serving spoon for our soup.  He protested loudly.

“Steve Rogers wouldn’t disagree with my choice of serving utensil!” I shouted after him.

(For the layperson, Steve Rogers is the secret identity of Captain America.)

Then I totally uninvited him to the movie.  Too bad I don’t really have any say in that.

It went downhill from there.  By Thursday we were knee deep in superhero references.  We were talking about the new movie, and pretty much every other superhero movie ever made.  This somehow led to this question:

If we were to have superheroes over for dinner, who should we invite?

(This is REALLY important stuff in our house, by the way.)

The Professor right away shouts:  “The Flash!  Supper would be ready really fast because he’d cook it.”

(Food that is done quickly is very important to him).

So not only are we inviting them over, they’re cooking for us too?

The Princess:  “I’d like Wonder Woman to come over.  She’s a girl.”

(Poor Black Widow, she’s obviously a threat. No soup for her.)

Me:  “Well obviously Captain America is the right choice.  He would have EXCELLENT table manners.”

The Princess:  “We’d have to invite Superman.  He could open the pickles.”

The Professor piped up “Batman would be cool because his secret identity is Bruce Wayne.”

Me:  “What does that have to do with anything?”

The Professor:  “I just like Bruce Wayne.  And Batman.”

He just really likes Batman.

The Princess got a very worried look on her face.  “We can’t invite ALL the Avengers, because the Hulk would smash the table.”

The Professor:  “But if we ALSO invited Green Lantern, he could make us a new table with his ring.”

The Princess:  “But all his stuff is always green.  I don’t want a new table that’s green.”

Me:  “So invite a red lantern.”

The Princess:  “How about a PINK Lantern.  I would looooooooove that!”

The Professor:  “There are no PINK Lanterns.  But there are purple ones.”

The Princess:  “*GASP*  INVITE THEM!!!!”

The Professor:  “OK, but no yellow ones, they’re evil.”

Me:  “Yes I think there probably needs to be a no supervillain rule.”

(I’m secretly sad about that one, I’d totally invite Loki to my house…)

The Professor:  “Some supervillains aren’t really that evil.  Justin Hammer can come.”

(Secretly not sad now, Sam Rockwell can come to my house any time.)

The Professor:  “I’m sure that if we invited the Green Lantern AND The Flash that they would get along very well.  And Spiderman-I would love that.”

The Princess:  “Spiderman?  Ewwwww.  He’d just walk around on the ceiling.”

The Professor:  “Thor.”

The Princess:  “No.  No one is going to smash things.  He’ll smash things with his hammer.”

(She’s really worried about this whole smashing thing, should we be concerned?)

Me:  “Don’t you remember The Dark World?  He hung his hammer up when he came in the house.”

The Princess:  “Oh yeah! I still don’t want him to come though.”

The Professor:  “Let’s invite Phil Coulson.”

Me:  “He’s not a superhero, he’s a SHIELD agent.”

The Professor:  “That’s okay.  Agents can come too.”

In the end, the Professor was realizing his worst worry might come true if we did indeed invite all of these people over to our house.  His fear:  If all of the Avengers AND the Fantastic Four came over, how would Chris Evans be both Johnny Storm AND Captain America?  Serious stuff.

And nobody suggested Iron Man or any of the X-Men, which is a shame…

Nobody invited Iron Man…

So there you have it, superheroes and SHIELD agents.  Dinner party at my house.

On the menu:  Pizza (shaped like a cat AND Captain America’s shield), Craisins, and baby carrots.  And if everyone behaves, chocolate/vanilla twist ice cream from DQ for dessert.

You’re all invited, you can even bring a guest.  That is as long as it’s not a super villain (except for Justin Hammer, you’re already invited).

Looks like I’m gonna need a bigger house.

This post is part of Finish the Sentence Friday, hosted by the following superheroes of the blogging universe:

Kate of Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine With My Morning Quiet Time?

Stephanie of Mommy, For Real

Kristi of Finding Ninee

Janine of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyholic

And very special guest host Katia of I Am The Milk
(one of my favoritest people on the internets!)

Check out how other people finished the sentence by popping over to see one of these ladies and the linky!