Why You Should NEVER Scrimp on Salon Services

autumn-leavesToday is guest blogger number two in my week-long parade of awesomeness.  Dani from Cloudy, With A Chance of Wine is another one of my favorite ladies!  She was another blogger that I have followed for almost as long as I have been blogging.  What do I love about her?  She has such a fabulous sense of humor about herself, and can turn anything into a great story!  And I like a good glass of wine too!

Why you should never scrimp on salon servicesAs the 3 of us were wandering around our neighborhood a couple of weeks ago, I noticed a new salon had opened up nearby, and I almost died when I saw a sign in their window that said: OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT!

Intrigued, I ran ahead to find out what it was all about, and 5 minutes later I walked out with an appointment to get my eyebrows threaded at 9:00 pm that night at half the price I usually pay.

I felt like I’d won the lottery.

At 8:50 pm, after my daughter was tucked in and my husband was zoned out in front of the TV, I put on my best pair of jeans and headed to the salon with the biggest smile on my face.

When I arrived, I was immediately ushered into a back room, where I was asked to lie on a bed that had a plastic sheet over it and a (very) used tea towel on the end where my head was supposed to be. Thoughts of lice and Brazilian waxes ran through my mind, but since I’m a people-pleaser, I was physically unable to ask the sweet lady that was going to thread my eyebrows me to change the plastic sheet or the towel.

To try and distract myself, I brought up the idea of eyebrow tinting. I had this done YEARS ago, and since I only get my eyebrows professionally shaped once a year these days, I felt like treating myself.

Within seconds of suggesting this, I was lying on the skanky bed with another (very) used towel over my face and eyebrow dye slathered all over my forehead. Admittedly, I was feeling a little nervous, but the sweet lady told me I had nothing to be scared about because she was “going to make me look beautiful.” So I kept my mouth shut and continued lying there as she removed the dye from my eyebrows, and I didn’t even flinch when a little dye-infused water dripped into my eye and another (very) used towel was pressed into my eye to ensure I didn’t go blind.

But once the dye had been removed and my eyebrows were ready to be threaded, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to see what they looked like. So I got off the bed and walked over to the closest mirror to take a look.

And I almost screamed.

My eyebrows, and all of the skin beneath them, were ALMOST BLACK.

And I have STRAWBERRY BLONDE hair.

But the sweet lady assured me that once she’d removed the excess dye from my skin and shaped my eyebrows, I would be thrilled with the results.

And beautiful.

So I got back on the skanky bed and started to recite Sandra Boynton’s Barnyard Dance over and over in my head while she SCRUBBED my eyebrows with rubbing alcohol.

Once she was satisfied my eyes were burning badly enough from the fumes, she started threading.

And then she continued threading.

And then she threaded some more after that.

And just as I was about to ask if I had any eyebrows left, she started tweezing those “hard to get hairs.”

When she was finally done, I shakily got off the bed and walked over to the mirror, and when I saw my reflection, it took every ounce of my willpower not to cry. My eyebrows were still virtually black, all of the surrounding skin was red and raw from all of the scrubbing and threading, and I noticed a bit of blood below my left eyebrow from those damn tweezers.

And this, my friends, is why you should never scrimp on salon services.

Then again, I overpaid for my first (and only) Brazilian wax, and that didn’t get me very far either.

Have you ever had a nightmare experience at the salon?

Love this?  Visit her blog!
Dani Ryan is a SAHM who likes to make people laugh by sharing funny stories about her functionally dysfunctional life, both before and after she became a parent. It keeps her from opening the wine at 9 am. Sometimes. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

June Secret Subject Swap Pt 1-Star Wars: Return of Red Solo (Cups)

Welcome to Take One of June’s Secret Subject Swaps. This week, 11 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

George Lucas just called you–he knows you are a HUGE Star Wars fan, and he tells you he is tweaking one of his older movies. He wants to cast YOU in the film as a new character, and lets you choose the movie and the type of character you would be. Tell us your role and how it would change the movie.

It was submitted by: http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/

Disclaimer:  I’ve been under a lot of stress due to neck, head, and back pain, therefore affecting my writing.  Read with caution.  I am not responsible for pants peed from laughing or followers running away and screaming and never coming back to my blog again.  There, you’ve been warned.  Now keep reading if you’re not too scared to do so…

What else do you do with the death star but make a death star bra?

What else do you do with the death star but make a death star bra?

It is with great pleasure that I write using this prompt, because 1)  I am a huge fan of the original movies.  2)  Marcia Doyle aka Menopausal Mother is a good friend of mine and
3)  Anyone could play the part of Anakin Skywalker better than Hayden Christiansen, including me.

Today I will be enacting the second subplot within Return of the Jedi, also known as the worst of the original trilogy and the movie “with all those teddy bear looking things.”  If you aren’t familiar with the Star Wars movies, or maybe you are, you might want to access this quick tutorial of the original movie before you read on…

Obviously I would have to be a shapely redhead with big blue eyes and mad typing skills.  I’d play Red Solo, Han Solo’s first cousin seventeen times removed.  But since it’s the Star Wars universe, and we can’t be too obvious that she’s a Solo we have to give her a pseudonym.  It can’t be anything normal, it would have to be something like Fon Doo, Lap Dans, or Shasta Windbreaker.  I like Shasta, we’ll go with that.

Shasta Windbreaker is the key to the entire Star Wars universe.  She’s the assistant to the Emperor’s assistant.  No one knows that she is a double agent.  She’s actually a member of PMS-a secret order of Jedi that Darth Vader did not find and destroy during the Clone Wars.  She organizes a resistance within the Empire luring Imperials over by bribing them with cookies.

the dark sideAlong with her droid 3M and her handsome but dumb companion Duh Mahn, she sets out to destroy the Empire from the inside out.

What she doesn’t know though is that her fellow PMSer Lady Vagisil has gone to the dark side and is planning on exposing their whole plan.  She and her accomplice, Saran Rapp, are secretly organizing the PMS army of jedis to strike against the good guys.  She also bakes better cookies, and therefore manages to lure the people that had just been lured to Shasta’s side back to her side.  So poor Shasta is left without anyone on her side other than Duh Mahn, who is just not a smart guy.

Determined to complete her mission, Shasta and Duh make plans to leave the Imperial Cruiser They attempt to leave by taking their ship, The Flatulent Penguin, but quickly realize that the ship is unable to fly very far.  Apparently Duh has a knack of picking bad spaceships.  Several previous ones that he has purchased, including The Fat Emu and The Frolicking Platypus, didn’t pan out either for some reason.  So instead they have to stow away on an Imperial Carnival Cruise Ship.

It's a TrampAs they quickly discover it’s a tramp… I mean trap!

Our heroes are quickly discovered by the PMSers.  Lady Vagisil decided to put an end to Shasta once for all by challenging her to a karoake sing off.  The songs?  “It’s the End of the World As We Know It” by REM, “Informer” by Snow, and “The Morning After” by Maureen McGovern.  As Shasta goes up to sing, Lady Vagisil tries to choke her death with her Sith chokehold.  It’s Duh to the rescue.  He runs onstage with a folding chair and knocks her off the stage with it.

A duel to the death with foot long corndogs ensues.  There is ketchup, there is mustard, but there is no mercy!

In the end, Shasta spares Lady Vagisil’s life.  But why?  WHY would she do such a thing?

Because Lady Vagisil is really… Princess Leia’s siamese twin sister, Lola Skywalker.  They were joined at the feet, but were separated at birth.  Shasta was able to sense this with her super force senses and underwear that glows whenever a member of the Skywalker family is present.  Of course what really gave it away was the croissants on her head.

sisterHaving decided to go to the lighter side, Lady Vagisil and Shasta join forces to help finish the Empire once and for all.  But before they can even leave the cruise ship, breaking news is broadcast on the Cruise News Channel.  The Emperor and Lord Vader are dead, the Death Star is destroyed, the Empire is defeated, and the whole galaxy is cordially invited to a weenie roast on the forest moon of Endor.

On Endor she crosses paths with her distantly related cousin.  She sees him and nods.  He says, “Wassup?” (The Solos have never been known for being very affectionate.)

However, after a long talk, she and Han decide to go into the disposable cup business together so that Leia can stay home and take care of all of the Ewoks they ended up adopting.  Now you know where Solo Cups really come from.

HanSoloCupHere are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

http://BakingInATornado.com                                 Baking In A Tornado

http://themomisodes.com/                                    The Momisodes

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                  Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                              Just A Little Nutty

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                       Follow me home . . .

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/           Moore Organized Mayhem

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                           The Insomniac’s Dream

http://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com/                     The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/             Stacy Sews and Schools

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/                  Menopausal Mother

http://www.noteveryonecanbeamermaid.com           Not Everyone Can Be A Mermaid

Theme Thursday: Things I Love So Much I Want To Marry Them

Theme Thursday

It’s Theme Thursday!  Each week Jenn at Something Clever 2.0 selects a theme and we faithfully follow by writing a post about it.  This week’s theme is “Things I Love”, which is FABULOUS because I have already written such a post-naturally I figured why not repackage it into a Theme Thursday post!

Theme Thursday:  Kid tested, mother approved, or something like that.

I know what you’re thinking-Oh hell no, not THIS post again.  I just reblogged it not that long ago, but hey, it IS slightly different from the last two and I spelled “zinfandel” right this time!  I’m actually hoping you are a new follower and are reading this for the first time instead of the third as many (ok, a few people.  Really it’s probably only two people). Upon rewriting this post, I was bitterly disappointed that I couldn’t find a video clip of Pee-Wee Herman saying “If you love it, why don’t you marry it?  Heh heh!”  I actually despise Pee-Wee, but I can’t help but think of that whenever I hear that phrase.  There are a few things that I love, besides my husband, kids, and family, of course!  You could say that I love them so much I might marry them, only I am already married and that would be wrong…

Sooooo, you ask, what do I love?  Hang on, I’m going to tell you!

diet sunkist lemonade

Diet Sunkist Lemonade Mmmmmmm, I keep saying I’m going to quit, but I keep going back.  Some might say I am addicted.  I say I just like lemonade.

rainbath

Neutrogena Pear and Green Tea Body Wash  It’s like a little spa in my shower.  It smells so good, I look forward to showering so I can smell it.  Is that weird?

Dark-chocolate

Dark chocolate  It’s health food, right?  I like the really dark stuff, but not so dark it’s bitter.  Dove dark chocolate with almonds rocks.  Hershey’s used to make a very dark chocolate that had blueberries, cranberries, and some sort of nut in it.  In a pinch I’ll settle for milk chocolate, but I prefer the dark stuff.

ipod

My Ipod I have a 16 gig ipod.  My music is extremely important to me.  I don’t make big purchases very often, but this one was well worth it.  I like the fact that I still have room to put more of my favorite songs on it.  I have some pretty weird taste in music-it’s so nice to be able to listen to what I want when I want it.

tevas

Footwear:  Tevas for warm weather, Merrells in cold weather  Or as my husband calls them, weird shoes.  I don’t care!  I’m not a “shoe” person.  I’m all about comfort, and it’s very rare that I wear anything but highly comfortable footwear.  I own Tevas in three different colors, and Merrells in two.

tie dye

Tie-dye  It’s obvious that I love tie-dye, all you have to do is see the profile pic that I use virtually everywhere!  I don’t know what it is about it, I just love it.  Maybe it’s the uniqueness of each piece, no two are ever exactly alike, kind of like snowflakes.  Note:  I was wearing tie-dye long before it was considered in fashion.

method-detox-lg

Method products  All natural, non-toxic, and affordable!  I can’t stand to breathe in any kind of fumes when I clean.  I don’t exactly need excuses not to clean.  These smell so good-though my husband claims the green antibacterial cleaner smells like pee (I disagree).  The Lavender is my favorite.

neutrogena body lotion

Neutrogena Body Lotion  In addition to the great smelling body wash, we have the great smelling body lotion.  I don’t wear cologne, except once in a great while.  I don’t feel I have to-this stuff smells so good.  I buy the super duper giant bottle and it lasts me a very, very long time.

sutter home white zin

Sutter Home White Zinfandel  I have been spelling the word “zinfandel” incorrectly for years, which is sad since I love this kind of wine.  It’s my little weekend delight-at the end of every week I get to savor a glass or two of this good stuff.  I must admit it’s not my very favorite, but when I can buy a huge bottle at Target for $11 every few weeks I’ll take it!

I don't have cheese with my wine OR my whine.

I don’t have cheese with my wine OR my whine.

Relax Riesling  When I’m feeling wealthier this stuff is wonderful.  This is my very favorite wine.  Also, the bottle looks really cool on your table.  Win win.

scentsy_candle_wax

Incense/candles/scentsy/stuff that makes your house smell awesome  Self explanatory.

Yes I love some pretty incredible things.  What do you love?

Now that you are rolling your eyes at me, go to Something Clever 2.0 under Theme Thursday and check out what other people love.  Heck, maybe you want to be amazing and write a super quick post about the stuff that you love and link up before Thursday is over and done! Really, I’m not going to stop you.

REBLOG: Things I Love So Much I Want To Marry Them (Sorry Honey…)

In the spirit of Christmas, here are a few of my favorite things! 😀

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

I thought it would be fun to do a post about some of the things I love, besides my family and friends of course!  I know that life is not about what you have.  But there are some things that if I had to live without them, while I would survive I would be very very sad.

Diet Sunkist Lemonade-A mysterious illness earlier this year robbed me of my ability to enjoy Diet Coke.  This other pop is the bomb.  I have loved it for a good portion of my adult life.  Unfortunately it’s very hard to find sometimes.  I’m addicted.  When I can’t have it I’m very sad.  But I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to, huh?

Neutrogena pear and green tea body wash-It’s like a little spa in my shower.  It smells so good, I look forward to showering so I can smell it. …

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Awards! I Got Awards!

Oh you meant “A-Wards”, not “Wards”…

I got an award!  Then I got another award!  All right, I’ll try it.  I’m never good at these thingies.  And as I have discovered, this is a LOT of work!  Let’s see here…

The Beautiful Blogger Award

First up we have the Beautiful Blogger Award. I’m assuming it refers to the blog itself, and not the writer?  What?  Yes to both?  Ok.

I was nominated for the Beautiful Blogger award by momtimes4, a blog that I thoroughly enjoy reading every day!  She takes all the little things that happen in her house and draws cute little illustrations to go with them.  If you’re a Mom, whether you have two or six, you’ll be able to relate to these little stories and pictures!

Beautiful Blogger Award Rules:

The idea behind the Beautiful Blogger Award is to recognize some of the bloggers we follow for their hard work and inspiration.

1. Copy the Beautiful Blogger Award logo and place it in your post.

2. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.

3. Tell 7 things about yourself.

4. Nominate 7 other bloggers for their own Beautiful Blogger Award, and comment on their blogs to let them know.

7 things about myself (I hope they don’t have to be interesting!)

1.  I am the daughter of a Navy Submariner.  I grew up all over.  I was born in Maine and wound up in Iowa, where my parents are from.  We moved back here when I was 15.  I haven’t been able to get away since.  Somewhere there is a giant tractor beam holding me in here!

2.  I am a geek.  Challenge me to a game of Star Wars trivia and I will kick your behind.

3.  I have two children, ages 4 and 7.  I also have a husband and a black cat who both hate people.  And a dog that doesn’t hate people at all.

4.  If I had better fundage (is that a word?)  I would return to vegetarianism and buy all of my food at the local co-op that I’m a member of.  It is the best smelling place in the whole wide world.  I’m the one who shops there and cries because the only thing I can afford to buy there are spices and some of the bulk foods.  Someday…

5.  I don’t have a job at the moment due to no fault of my own (and it sounds like I’m not alone).  Since I already have a degree, the next step is naturally going to get my Masters in SOMETHING.  Naturally, I don’t have any clue what it would be in.  My interests lie in writing, wellness and health, nutrition, and all of that jazz.  Someday I hope to figure out what would best suit me.  And then win the lottery so I can afford to go to school.

6.  I love NASCAR.  I even got to go to a race this year.

7.  If it’s not chocolate or caffeinated, I probably don’t consume it regularly.  I’m trying to change that…

Ok, enough of that-now the best part is that I get to nominate seven other people whose blogs I thoroughly enjoy!  The only bad part of this is that I have to CHOOSE.  And I’m assuming that I can only choose WordPress blogs?  And I know how some of you feel about the awards on here (Becca at Lady Or Not, that’s why you’re not on this list or I would SOOOOO nominate you!)

Atlantamomofthree– She JUST got this award.  Now she’s getting it again, because she’s awesome.

Motherhood Is An Art-I love this blog.  One lovely Mommy to three lovely children.  Her son Bency cracks me up!

Adrea In Wonderland-This is one of the first blogs I followed on WordPress. She is just a neat person, and posts some really interesting stuff.  If you are a C.S. Lewis fan you’ll appreciate all of the Alice in Wonderland references.

My Brain on Kids-Funny Lady.  She is Adam Levine’s future girlfriend, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Cloudy, With A Chance of Wine-Funny Mom, fellow wine lover.

Highly Irritable Blog-Not only does she write the funny stuff, she writes some wonderful stories as well.

Marj Hatzell is The Domestic Goddess-She claims to give Stay-At-Home Moms a bad name.  She does anything but.

 

The Liebster Blog Award

This was awarded to me by Valerie over at Atlantamomofthree.  And I agree, I thought it said Lobster Award when I first saw it too.

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers by bloggers. It is a way of acknowledging each other and is for blogs with 200 or less followers. This is also a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs and get them more readers and followers!  When you receive the award, you post 11 random facts about yourself and answer 11 questions from the person who nominated you. You pass the award onto 11 other blogs (make sure you tell them you nominated them!) and ask them 11 questions. You are not allowed to nominate the blog who nominated you!

11 Random Facts about Me:

I despise crunchy vegetables, except for sweet bell peppers.  See my next fact for why that is so ironic.

I was a vegetarian for many years, and a vegan for a year while they tried to figure out why I was covered with an eczema type rash, why certain types of food made me sick, and why I was doubled over with stomach pain (nothing was ever figured out, other than the rash)

I have a famous friend, Marcus Collins of the Texas Tenors (The gorgeous blonde).  We went to college together. He is the sweetest person in the whole world, and he IS as genuine as he seems.  If you didn’t watch America’s Got Talent the season they went to the finals, you should take some time and check them out.  What they do is unique, and great stuff to listen to!  I also shook Ana Gasteyer’s hand once, but we’re not friends.

I went to school to be a music teacher-I have had to at least learn the basics for every basic band/orchestra instrument there is.  I found out that it was NOT my lot in life to be a brass player (I guess I kind of knew that already).  It sounds more like a dying cow than music…

People I hope to meet someday: Ellen Degeneres!  I am a huge fan of hers!  I’d also like to meet Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters, Seth McFarlane, George Lucas, Demetri Martin, and Michelle Obama.  And a lot of the bloggers I follow I’d love to meet in person for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.  Contact me if you’re interested.  *wink*

I don’t sleep.  At least not without assistance.

When I was in 4th grade, the band teacher told my mother I had no musical talent whatsoever.

I am so allergic to certain plants that my eyes swell shut if I smell them. I know one of them is a type of evergreen, but there are other mystery plants.

I wear tie-dye most days of the week.  I don’t know why.  I just like it.  I also have lots of things with mandalas and yoga-type stuff on them.

As a child, I was such a picky eater that I would only take pb&j sandwiches in my lunches.

When I had my daughter, I couldn’t walk for a long time because somehow my pelvis was out of alignment,  and still to this day I do not have full range of motion in my neck.  So you can say that she is a pain in the neck, literally.

The 11 Nominees (Please don’t be offended if you have more than 200 followers! Not everyone shows the number of followers on their blog, and I still think you deserve an award even if you have more than 200!!) :D  I tried and tried to find 11 blogs that I follow on WordPress that had less than 200 and I was wildly unsuccessful.  That says something for the blogs on here, that you all are AWESOME!  And if I nominated you and you’re not into this type of thing, just ignore this and go on with your life.  So here are the ones that I nominated:

MomTimes4-One of the bestest blogs outs there!  Illustrations of everyday family life.  Funny!  If you’re a parent you’ll find something that you can relate to here!

Front Range Scribbles-A blog that everyone can relate to because it’s about a little of everything.  Plus fantastic photos!

Sky Blue With Daisies– Check out her art.  I think she’s great!

Dancing In The Rain-Living life with chronic illness and a fabulous attitude!

ADDadultstrategies-If you’re ADD this blog is a great resource.

Bug Bytes-Another fun blog from a Mom!

Naptime WritingMoms unite!!!

The Flat Broke Blog-Show this girl some love.  She’s back on the cheese line.

11 Questions for me

~Would you rather live where they have mild winters and very hot summers, or have freezing winters and mild summers?

Freezing winters and mild summers.  I hate to be hot.  And you can always put more clothes/blankets on when you’re cold, but you can only take so much off when you’re hot!

~If you had to choose a different decade to live in for one month from 1900-1990, which would you choose? Why?

The 1960s.  I am very interested in that time period!

~Do you have children? How many?

Yes, I have two.

~Where you live are there more cars than bikes? Do you own a bike?

Cars.  I do own a bike.  I used to bike everywhere.  Another unfortunate side effect of having children.

~What is one thing you are really proud of that you’ve learned how to do as an adult? (Mine is juggling!!)

How to make good food out of a few cheap ingredients.

~What is your favorite fiction book?

The Princess Bride by William Goldman.  And I read it BEFORE I saw the movie, thank you very much!

~If you found $1000 cash on a ride at an amusement park, what would you do?

Take it to the lost and found, of course!

~What is your favorite kind of music to listen to?

Ooooo… I’m probably on a special list.  I don’t really have just one favorite.  If you were to somehow hack into my Ipod, you’d find a little of everything.

~What do you think is the best way to spend a Saturday night?

A long walk under a full moon, then watch a good movie

~Would you rather spend a week in the mountains or on a beach? Why?

In the mountains.  Quiet, many hiking opportunities, and you can’t beat that scenery!

~Do you do Pinterest? Want to share your link?

Yes I do.  And yes I will!

11 Questions for the Nominees:

-What is the neatest place you have ever visited and why?

-Favorite kind of pet?

-If you could only eat one food for a whole year, what would it be?

-Who is (or was) your celebrity crush?

-What genre of movie do you enjoy the most?

-If there was one thing that you could do that you can’t right now, what would it be and why?  (I would go back to school, and take cello lessons)

-Do you have a hobby that you enjoy?

-If you could invite influential, famous, or just people you admire over for dinner, who would you invite?

-What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

-If you were given $10,000 and were told you had to give away half of it to help someone, who would you give it to?

-What led you to start blogging?

Ok, that’s all I’ve got!  Happy reading/answering and so forth!!!!

Sisterhood of the Uncontrollable Hair: A Bad Hair Life

HA HA! I have no back hair issues, just top of head hair issues!

Some people have a bad hair day.  I lead a bad hair life.  There are better bad days than others, but it consistently hates me.  Ever been hated by your hair?  I have and let me tell you the feeling is mutual.

When I was a little girl my mother used to compare my hair to a horses tail.  I had thick, tangly, wavy strawberry blonde hair.  She would braid my hair because honestly it was the only way to control it.  And it fought back!  If you tried to make it pretty, it would literally revert back to its predone state in less than 10 minutes.  Therefore braids it was.  I was the Laura Ingalls Wilder of many different elementary schools (as a military brat I moved a lot).  Can’t you picture me running through the prairie with my flippety floppety braids?

In 5th grade I decided to stage a rebellion against the “Hair From Hell”.  I asked to chop it off.  Not all of it, but quite a bit of it.  Before we did the deed, my Mom took a picture of it-my hair was down to my butt.  Then I had it chopped.  Still braidable, but I chose to do very little.  Thus setting up the stage for the rest of my life.

In 8th grade big hair was cool, and since I had all of the texture but none of the ringlets of wickedly curly hair, I opted to get a perm.  The girl who did it kept raving that I would look just like Jon Bon Jovi.  It was curly.  BIG.  Definitely an improvement over what I had.  Thus became the routine for many years.  Perm it, grow it out, perm it, grow it out.  Permity perm perm.  I thought it was too curly, but once it relaxed I liked it.

Nice.  I’m talking about the sunflowers.  I’m surprised you can see them through my big permed hair.

As I got older, big hair was replaced with small hair, and I pretty much quit doing the perming thing.  What was left was wild frizzy hair that had no control.  I’ve had that pretty much ever since.  No matter how much work I put into, an hour later it will look like I didn’t even try anything.  It is evil hair.  I may even go as far as to say cursed.  Don’t give me advice.  Don’t tell me it will look better if I don’t wash it for a few days.  Tried that, disgusting.  Don’t tell me to go buy the Suave Professionals line that is supposed to be JUST LIKE the other stuff.  Maybe if you have normal person hair.  It made my hair the opposite of what Rumplestiltskin would do, it turned it to straw.  I’m shocked that animals didn’t mistake my hair for bedding, it was so bad.  Don’t tell me to go online and research my hair, because I’ve done it.  NO ONE ELSE HAS HAIR LIKE ME!

Not only can you not use affordable hair products on my Hair From Satan, it is very difficult to find a good haircut.  Or rather, find someone who knows HOW to cut my hair.  I went through stylists like underwear there for awhile.  Finally after years of searching, I thought I had found my hair whisperer.  I went to her for several years.  My hair could be almost passable as normal.  Then she moved.  NOOOOOOO!  How could she do this to me?  In the meantime, I tried in vain to find a new hair whisperer, but alas I wound up with one terrible haircut.  A girl who was convinced that she could give me a new look now that I was a mommy chopped all of my hair off.  I looked like Kristy McNichol had a baby with Ronald McDonald.  It was BAD.

Fortunately, when I went back I found a new gal who knew how to talk to my hair.  She was able to take her whip and chair and calm it into some sort of near normal hairstyle.  I’ve been with her ever since, I’ve followed her to a couple of different places, and considering what a mess my hair is she does a good job.

My current hair. Messy. I don’t even know what color my hair color is called.

But much like stupid, some hair is just not fixable.  When I lost my school job, I decided to go all earth mother and grow it out.  Unfortunately unlike an earth mothery type gal, I can’t just make do with homemade hair products.  Or cheap hair products.  So now we are here in the present day, a year and a half after I lost my full time job and unemployed for four months.  I need a haircut badly, but I have no money.  If I go so long without a cut, my hair loses interest in living and just exists.  So I am here.  Hair Purgatory.  I am out of the good stuff that makes it almost passable.  There is no love here.  I just wash, put stuff in it, and occasionally it cooperates for a couple of hours after drying before it poofs into Hexed Hair.

I thought she had escaped the trap of the Hell Hair, but my daughter’s hair is mutating rapidly into the same type.  Poor thing.  It doesn’t help that she avoids hair brushing like the plague.  Most of the time I’m convinced that she looks like an orphan with that wild crazy tangled mop.  She had no idea what challenges lie ahead of her.  The tears, the frustration, the urge to shave her head.  (For the record I have never shaved my head.  I think I would be one ugly bald person.)  Maybe she’ll take an interest in hats.  Maybe perms will be back in by the time she gets old enough to care.  Or maybe she’ll be better than I am and just NOT care.

My crazy kid. Her hair shall soon follow. You can’t really tell by this picture, but it’s turning on her.

Unintentional Hoarding: I Really DON’T Do It On Purpose

I’m not a hoarder, at least not on purpose.  However,  I’m convinced my kids are.

My daughter HAD to have the foam pieces that came out of the fake pumpkins I carved the other day.  She carries them around in a Halloween bucket.  Then she set up her “store” and featured them.  Her store was basically a bunch of random things she has collected laid out on the piano bench, her desk, and a big rubbermaid container.  If you “bought” something, you got a “free sample” (which was as far as I could tell a small Halloween stamp.)  She was paying attention when we went to the Origins counter.

My son had a fit of sorts the other day when he saw that I had thrown away some of his school papers.  I was trying really hard to be discreet.  He just can’t believe that we would throw ANYTHING away, unless he doesn’t want to clean it up-then it’s fair game.  I explained to him that I DO keep the important stuff, like his special artwork, some of his  stories, benchmark stuff, etc.  He looked skeptical, and also like he was about to cry.  Think Mom, THINK!  Suddenly it came to me:

“Do you remember that episode of Spongebob where he wouldn’t throw anything away, and he had so much stuff it came out of his house and buried everything?”  He nodded, smiling. “Well, if I didn’t throw anything away, we’d get there real quick.”  He agreed, and walked away smiling and chuckling to himself.   Whew!  Probably the only time Spongebob will save the day in our house.

I don’t need to keep every piece of paper that comes home. I have enough on my plate to deal with right now, thank you very much.

Back to my original thought-I have a problem with accidentally holding on to things.  I seriously don’t do this on purpose.  The other day I was looking for something and started going through some of my bags.  I have a lot of bags, which is another problem.  I have a big brown Sherpani bag with lots of pockets that was my work bag, a big purple tie-dyed bag that holds everything when we travel with kids, two purses, and lots of random other bags that I use occasionally.  As I am going through these bags, I start finding lots of different bars:  Three Kashi bars of three different flavors, a Lara bar, and a Kellogg’s Fiber plus Antidioxants chocolate caramel bar.  I also find several packages of strawberry fruit snacks, and a whole container of cinnamon almonds.

Why all the food?  The reason is two fold.  I get a little loopy when I get hungry.  Actually a lot loopy.  I literally can’t function.  I get really shaky and my already foggy brain goes into a fog advisory of sorts.  I have two choices when this happens 1)  eat something I brought along, provided I can find it or 2) seek out food, which can get really expensive or really unhealthy, or both.  In other words I gots to eat.  Right then.  Secondly, I am a mom.  My kids are hungry.  Even if they’re not hungry, if they see me eat anything they are automatically starving.  My choices are 1)  give them something I brought along or 2) seek out food, which WILL get expensive.  Do you see a theme here?

So I tend to overdo it a bit.  And I throw something in whatever bag I have every time we leave the house.  Usually lots of food we’ll never eat.  And since no one ever helps me bring anything into the house, I get distracted when we get home and forget to unpack my bag.  Then the next time I don’t check it before I throw anything else in there.  Sometimes this doesn’t end well when I finally do getting around to cleaning out the bags.  There have been bad things that I’ve found later-a bag of moldy grapes, a stick of string cheese that had to have been there for months, an apple that had seen much better days.  Due to this, I have been sticking to, well, less perishable items.

This unintentional hoarding has saved my life on a few occasions when I have forgotten to put something in my purse and have started feeling a little woozy.  Like the football game we went to a couple of weeks ago when it dawned on me I never really ate anything at the tailgate. It was an odd time of day to eat, and the food wasn’t quite ready when we got there.  I had a few chips with nacho cheese, but that was about it.  Feeling really shaky, I reached down deep into my purse and found a Kashi bar.  A miracle!

There are other things that I tend to have multiples of that I find in odd places.  Like lip gloss.  I don’t wear lipstick, because it would look garish on me, but I do wear Neutrogena Moisture Shine Lip Soother in the clear sparkly color.  Clear sparkly because it’s the only shade I can wear, and with spf because I’m terrified of cancer.  I have approximately twelve tubes.  I’ll slip it in my pocket, or in my purse, or someplace else, and then forget and lose it.  I’ve washed every tube at least once.

I’m not sure if there is a name for this accidental hoarding.  Oh wait, there is-it’s ADD!  And all of this reminds me that I have a bag to get ready…

This could totally happen in my house. I may have several purses with cats in them.

Things I Love So Much I Want to Marry Them (Sorry Honey…)

I thought it would be fun to do a post about some of the things I love, besides my family and friends of course!  I know that life is not about what you have.  But there are some things that if I had to live without them, while I would survive I would be very very sad.

Diet Sunkist Lemonade-A mysterious illness earlier this year robbed me of my ability to enjoy Diet Coke.  This other pop is the bomb.  I have loved it for a good portion of my adult life.  Unfortunately it’s very hard to find sometimes.  I’m addicted.  When I can’t have it I’m very sad.  But I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to, huh?

Neutrogena pear and green tea body wash-It’s like a little spa in my shower.  It smells so good, I look forward to showering so I can smell it.  Is that weird?

Dark chocolate-  It’s health food, right?  I like the really dark stuff, but not so dark it’s bitter.  Dove dark chocolate with almonds rocks.  Hershey’s used to make a very dark chocolate that had blueberries, cranberries, and some sort of nut in it.  In a pinch I’ll settle for milk chocolate, but I prefer the dark stuff.

My IPOD-I have a 16 gig ipod.  My music is extremely important to me.  I don’t make big purchases very often, but this one was well worth it.  I like the fact that I still have room to put more of my favorite songs on it.  I have some pretty weird taste in music-it’s so nice to be able to listen to what I want when I want it.

My tevas.  I love teva sandals.  My feet practically cry when the weather gets too cold to wear them.  The fact that I finally was able to get a couple of pairs of Merrells this last winter helped to ease the pain a little.  Just a little.  I have them in three different colors. I do a lot of online surveys to be able to buy footwear!

Tie-dye-I can’t get enough of it.  Note:  I was wearing tie-dye long before it was considered in fashion.

Method products-All natural, non-toxic, and affordable!  I can’t stand to breathe in any kind of fumes when I clean.  I don’t exactly need excuses not to clean.  These smell so good-though my husband claims the green antibacterial cleaner smells like pee (I disagree).  The Lavender is my favorite.

Neutrogena Body Lotion-In addition to the great smelling body wash, we have the great smelling body lotion.  I don’t wear cologne, except once in a great while.  I don’t feel I have to-this stuff smells so good.  I buy the super duper giant bottle and it lasts me a very very long time.

Sutter Home White Zinfadel-My weekend delight.  Not my very favorite, but when I can buy a huge bottle at Target for $9 every few weeks I’ll take it!

Relax Riesling-when I’m feeling wealthier this stuff is wonderful.  This is my very favorite.  Also, the bottle looks really cool on your table.  I hope to someday make a whole bunch of lighted Relax bottles for decoration.  As soon as I figure out how.

Incense-I love all things that smell, but nothing beats the smell of incense when you’re trying to relax.  It’s the best smell ever!

Everyone is so different-what are your favorite things?  What do you feel you would be very sad without?

Frugality: Trying to Save While Not Existing on Just Ramen Noodles

I have always tried to be a frugal person.  I admit, it isn’t easy.  I come from a military family-my dad was in the navy and was often out to sea for months at a time, not to mention we moved frequently.  My Mom was a stay at home mom-therefore we didn’t have a lot of money.  We always pinched pennies and it was a lifestyle that we just always knew.  My wonderful husband also hails from a family that never had a ton of dough, but alas, does not get the whole “frugal thing”.

So I bet you know where I’m going with this.  We have been through several job losses and then through my husband returning to school full-time during the last thirteen years.  He graduated at the end of last year, and accepted an internship which last week became a full time engineering position.  Yay!  Buuuuuuuuuut-we are also trying to get back on our feet after having been working either part-time and/or not at all the last couple of years.  And lately it has really gotten tight.  Not a ramen noodle every night type of thing (HAHAHA-what is THAT from.  *ahem*  I watch too much TV).  But I am being a lot more diligent about cracking down on our grocery spending.  We are not extravagant people.  But when I am standing in the grocery aisle I would MUCH rather purchase the frozen stir fry mix as opposed to making my own from scratch.  Did I mention I don’t exactly cook like Martha Stewart?  Or any good cook for that matter.  I do make a mean taco soup (if tacos are a secret ingredient and I ever get to compete on Iron Chef let me tell you I am SET!)  I also love diet pop and sugar free frozen treats like nothing else.

Giving up the pop is not going well, but we did set out this past week to make our own pudding pops.  For some reason I have accumulated many packages of sugar free pudding.  Maybe there was a sale.  Or maybe I just really wanted pudding.  Either way, I looked up recipes and decided that it was waaaaaaaaaaay cheaper to make my own.  So I did.  And they were pretty good.  I have some tupperware mickey mouse ear popsicle molds I bought at a rummage sale years ago.  This was back when I could still GO to rummage sales (that’s a story for another post).  I found a recipe that I found and modified a bit.  Now this is really complicated, you might want to get a pen with a lot of ink and then follow this recipe EXACTLY or you will screw it up:

Frugal Pudding Pops (not Bill Cosby Approved)

1 pkg pudding (we used chocolate)

1 cup milk

1 cup cool whip

Directions:  Mix together and put in molds.  Freeze.  Eat.

See what I did there? That was hard…  My son would not get that because he’s sarcasm impaired.

We decided that maybe we could make more than one kind since we really like frozen stuff and wanted variety, so when we went grocery shopping we looked for molds.  These were $1 at Wal-Mart.  There were ones at Target for $5, so I figured DAMN that’s a GREAT deal!  Then I realized that it may be hard to get the frozen stuff out of the mold. Was it?  I dont know because I have not been motivated to make more yet.  Hey, it’s been a busy week!

I’ve also been toying with the idea of making homemade laundry detergent and fabric softener.  The idea has become more and more appealing to me.  I actually put the ingredients on my shopping list, but we’ll see if it actually happens.  I see all of these things online-I WANT to be more natural and organic and all that jazz.  I must admit putting stuff like that when I see it on Pinterest sure gets me a lot of repins!