Wordless Wednesday: In Memory of the Tree

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We’re still not sure what caused the apple tree to give in.

Ah the apple tree.  It’s had some issues.  It had parts that just fell off, with a little help from the weather.  First it lost a limb.Then part of it fell off.  Last night at some point, the other part fell off.  Leaving a rather strange looking sight.  At least we got some great pictures while it was intact!

This hat.  The hat rocks.  Maybe I'll make a tire swing too.

Me in the tree.

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The Professor thinks this is a pretty sweet ride.

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The Princess hadn’t quite figured it out back then.

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Now she’s got it! The Princess enjoys the swing!

We’ll miss our tree!  Now we know that our tree has to be taken down, we’ll be sure to preserve its memory by using some of the seeds to plant a new apple tree!  Do you have a lot of trees in your yard?  Do you and/or your family play in them a lot?

June Secret Subject Swap Pt 1-Star Wars: Return of Red Solo (Cups)

Welcome to Take One of June’s Secret Subject Swaps. This week, 11 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

George Lucas just called you–he knows you are a HUGE Star Wars fan, and he tells you he is tweaking one of his older movies. He wants to cast YOU in the film as a new character, and lets you choose the movie and the type of character you would be. Tell us your role and how it would change the movie.

It was submitted by: http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/

Disclaimer:  I’ve been under a lot of stress due to neck, head, and back pain, therefore affecting my writing.  Read with caution.  I am not responsible for pants peed from laughing or followers running away and screaming and never coming back to my blog again.  There, you’ve been warned.  Now keep reading if you’re not too scared to do so…

What else do you do with the death star but make a death star bra?

What else do you do with the death star but make a death star bra?

It is with great pleasure that I write using this prompt, because 1)  I am a huge fan of the original movies.  2)  Marcia Doyle aka Menopausal Mother is a good friend of mine and
3)  Anyone could play the part of Anakin Skywalker better than Hayden Christiansen, including me.

Today I will be enacting the second subplot within Return of the Jedi, also known as the worst of the original trilogy and the movie “with all those teddy bear looking things.”  If you aren’t familiar with the Star Wars movies, or maybe you are, you might want to access this quick tutorial of the original movie before you read on…

Obviously I would have to be a shapely redhead with big blue eyes and mad typing skills.  I’d play Red Solo, Han Solo’s first cousin seventeen times removed.  But since it’s the Star Wars universe, and we can’t be too obvious that she’s a Solo we have to give her a pseudonym.  It can’t be anything normal, it would have to be something like Fon Doo, Lap Dans, or Shasta Windbreaker.  I like Shasta, we’ll go with that.

Shasta Windbreaker is the key to the entire Star Wars universe.  She’s the assistant to the Emperor’s assistant.  No one knows that she is a double agent.  She’s actually a member of PMS-a secret order of Jedi that Darth Vader did not find and destroy during the Clone Wars.  She organizes a resistance within the Empire luring Imperials over by bribing them with cookies.

the dark sideAlong with her droid 3M and her handsome but dumb companion Duh Mahn, she sets out to destroy the Empire from the inside out.

What she doesn’t know though is that her fellow PMSer Lady Vagisil has gone to the dark side and is planning on exposing their whole plan.  She and her accomplice, Saran Rapp, are secretly organizing the PMS army of jedis to strike against the good guys.  She also bakes better cookies, and therefore manages to lure the people that had just been lured to Shasta’s side back to her side.  So poor Shasta is left without anyone on her side other than Duh Mahn, who is just not a smart guy.

Determined to complete her mission, Shasta and Duh make plans to leave the Imperial Cruiser They attempt to leave by taking their ship, The Flatulent Penguin, but quickly realize that the ship is unable to fly very far.  Apparently Duh has a knack of picking bad spaceships.  Several previous ones that he has purchased, including The Fat Emu and The Frolicking Platypus, didn’t pan out either for some reason.  So instead they have to stow away on an Imperial Carnival Cruise Ship.

It's a TrampAs they quickly discover it’s a tramp… I mean trap!

Our heroes are quickly discovered by the PMSers.  Lady Vagisil decided to put an end to Shasta once for all by challenging her to a karoake sing off.  The songs?  “It’s the End of the World As We Know It” by REM, “Informer” by Snow, and “The Morning After” by Maureen McGovern.  As Shasta goes up to sing, Lady Vagisil tries to choke her death with her Sith chokehold.  It’s Duh to the rescue.  He runs onstage with a folding chair and knocks her off the stage with it.

A duel to the death with foot long corndogs ensues.  There is ketchup, there is mustard, but there is no mercy!

In the end, Shasta spares Lady Vagisil’s life.  But why?  WHY would she do such a thing?

Because Lady Vagisil is really… Princess Leia’s siamese twin sister, Lola Skywalker.  They were joined at the feet, but were separated at birth.  Shasta was able to sense this with her super force senses and underwear that glows whenever a member of the Skywalker family is present.  Of course what really gave it away was the croissants on her head.

sisterHaving decided to go to the lighter side, Lady Vagisil and Shasta join forces to help finish the Empire once and for all.  But before they can even leave the cruise ship, breaking news is broadcast on the Cruise News Channel.  The Emperor and Lord Vader are dead, the Death Star is destroyed, the Empire is defeated, and the whole galaxy is cordially invited to a weenie roast on the forest moon of Endor.

On Endor she crosses paths with her distantly related cousin.  She sees him and nods.  He says, “Wassup?” (The Solos have never been known for being very affectionate.)

However, after a long talk, she and Han decide to go into the disposable cup business together so that Leia can stay home and take care of all of the Ewoks they ended up adopting.  Now you know where Solo Cups really come from.

HanSoloCupHere are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

http://BakingInATornado.com                                 Baking In A Tornado

http://themomisodes.com/                                    The Momisodes

http://dinoheromommy.com/                                  Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                              Just A Little Nutty

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                       Follow me home . . .

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/           Moore Organized Mayhem

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                           The Insomniac’s Dream

https://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com/                     The Sadder But Wiser Girl

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/             Stacy Sews and Schools

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/                  Menopausal Mother

http://www.noteveryonecanbeamermaid.com           Not Everyone Can Be A Mermaid

Theme Thursday: I Could So Be An Inventor

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

Theme ThursdayTheme Thursday is a once a week opportunity to observe the writing rituals of bloggers.  Hosted by the lovely Jen of Something Clever 2.0, each week has a different theme to write about.  This week’s theme is Useful Inventions.

(This post was published previously last August.)

I’ve been thinking that maybe I should be an inventor.  Maybe I should have added that to my list of potential jobs.  I’d make very ADD friendly inventions.  Why else would I want to invent something?  It probably wouldn’t be in my best interest-I’d probably lose the patents.

Here are some of my ideas to make my life easier:

1)  Automatic Lunchbox-  It remembers to pack itself.  It makes sure you have all the components for a healthy lunch.  Best of all, it chases you down if you try to leave the house without it.

2)  Snooze Button That Fights Back– It shocks…

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Weekly Wrap Up: The Pain in the Neck Edition

My neck pain-perhaps I am the victim of a Vulcan nerve pinch and just don't remember?

My neck pain-perhaps I am the victim of a Vulcan nerve pinch and just don’t remember?

Yeah, I’m still hurting.  I had my x-rays and the doctor called me a mere hours later and said it was all in my head.  Actually, it’s all in my neck.  Nothing is wrong with my spine, it’s all my muscles spazzing out.  I can have physical therapy, but I have to wait it out a little bit.

In the meantime, I’ve developed a humungous zit on my neck right where the affected muscle is and it hurts like a *$(#_!  The way it’s affecting me, I’ve gone as far to think that I might have shingles. Since I think my doctor thinks I’m crazy, I’m holding off on checking that out for now.  So I suffer…

Today I shared my final post for the WAHM series over at Mommy Writings: Daughter of Maat, entitled “Life of Pie” (because I really like pie…).  It’s actually something I’ve shared before as a guest post, but it’s a fun one that I couldn’t resist sharing.  In my current state, it’s probably just as well that I did that instead of attempting to share something witty and original (perish the thought).

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Get it? PIE.

Despite my pain, the week went on.  Here is what I did this week:

Monday Support Groups for Bloggers That Don’t Really Exist But Should
This should really be called “Fun with acronyms.”

A Rant on the Disappearance of Clothing in America My latest feature on The Epistolarians.

Tuesday Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: Empowering Breakup Songs
Yeah I misunderstood the theme, but I made a pretty kickass list.

Confessions of a Geek
My guest post for my friend Michael at An Old and Cranky Gamer.  It took me a long time to be ok with admitting I’m a geek.  Now as you can see I don’t care!

Wednesday Wordless Wednesday: BUBBLES!
Beautiful pictures of our attempt at homemade bubbles.  It was a great success!

Thursday Delicious Evil Lurks in the Downstairs Freezer
The question was “Does Evil exist?”  Yes.  At Christmastime it existed in my freezer… If you liked this and want to read about other evil, check out this week’s Theme Thursday and click on some of the blogs in the link up!

Friday Fly on the Wall May 2013: The Birthday Edition
Snippets from our insanity make great fly on the wall posts!

funny-star-wars-han-solo

Made me laugh…

Stuff I Really Liked This Week

Chicken Soup for the Bowl-Mama, Schmama
I was so excited to see her participate in the Character Assassination Carousel created by Nicole Leigh Shaw Tyop Aretist, formerly Ninja Mom.  This is hilarious!  I’ll be participating here in a couple of weeks with my destruction of the book Bears on Wheels, I can’t wait!

May Fly on the Wall posts-Baking in a Tornado-I love doing this every month, there were some really good ones in the bunch this time.  I linked you up with the post by the big cheese, the queen bee, the creator of all the is good on the internets, Baking in a Tornado. Karen’s talking about me when she mentions the crap pockets…  Yes I have a keen eye for detail! I hope you visited some of the other participants this week.  If you’re having the disgusting weather that we are, you probably have time.  This certainly rates right up there with crappy holiday weather!  :-/

Finish the Sentence Friday:  I blog because… I would have participated in this week’s FTSF but I was doing Fly on the Wall, and I learned a long time ago that you can’t do EVERYTHING you want.  So instead I will dutifully promote these wonderful posts.  The posts range from amusing to real tearjerkers.  Start here with Sometimes I Wax Like Ralph Macchio-Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine With My Quiet Time and then check out some of the others in the link-up like I Blog Because of You, I Blog Because of Us-Finding Ninee.  Make sure you bring some kleenex!

Best and Most Disturbing Search Engine Terms
Chad Knaus and his “nakedness”-I strive to make this a family friendly blog.  However, I just can’t help it if the search terms get out of control.  I commented on a hilarious post about search engine terms by Crakgenius, letting him know some of the more interesting things that people have used to find my blog.  Somehow, a few people found my blog by googling “Naked Chad Knaus”.

Wellll, Mr Crakgenius took it a step farther.  He plugged my information into google and using his great fact finding skills he found out that ‘Chad Knaus naked penis’ has my blog as #1.

If Chad’s mom is reading this, I can assure her I have never cared about her son’s genitalia.  I don’t even root for his NASCAR team…

Homemade car antenna-I had to look this one up,if you scroll down on image results you get a picture of my car.  I was disappointed.  However, you do also get the following picture when you look it up:

RedneckAntennaAcronyms are evil-I love acronyms, does that make me evil?

Does Bon Jovi like straight or curly hair on a woman-WHY DO YOU CARE??

Ear horn-YESSSSSSSS!  I’m not so sure why I’m proud of this…

Someone broke into my house and didn’t steal anything just peed on the front of my pants-Why would you google this????

Next Week

Tomorrow I’ll be hanging out over at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion, participating in her Oversharing series with my most famous post ever.  It’s so nice to know that I’ll always be remembered for my incontinence… This next week I’ll be telling the tale in the latest chapter of my war against the mice in my house, writing about what I sing in my car, sharing what drives me crazy, cohosting the Tattler Thursday Blog Hop, among other things. It’ll be a good week.  It would be better if I wasn’t in so much freaking pain!

dogs out

Wordless Wednesday: BUBBLES!

Last year I did something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time: the kids and I made homemade bubbles!  When I first made up the batch, I didn’t realize that the bubbles had to sit overnight.  So when the kids tried to use them with the bubble wands, they didn’t work very well.

However, the next morning we found out that they were indeed not just good bubbles but GREAT bubbles.

IMG_0632Ever since, every time we make these, they don’t last very long!

IMG_0635The recipe we used is pretty simple.  I always double the recipe and put it in a jar that you would normally use for lemonade or iced tea so the kids can get their own bubbles easily.

HOMEMADE BUBBLES

  • 1 1/2 quarts of water
  • 1/2 cup light corn syrup
  • 1 cup liquid dish soap

Mix water and corn syrup until completely blended.
Slowly stir in soap.
Let sit overnight for best results.

Homemade bubbles Round 1A word to the wise:  Be sure the lid is on tight if you attempt to pick up the full container of bubbles, lest you wind up with a soapy mess!

Yesterday I did a guest post for my friend Michael over at An Old and Cranky Gamer, but it wound up being sandwiched between these two previously scheduled posts.  So if you missed it and would like some advice on how to relate to a female geek, click here to read my post.

Am I a WAHM or a BAHM?

We're no strangers to the comic book store.

We’re no strangers to the comic book store.  Not a great picture, but it shows my daughter’s undying love for Superman, however creepy he is.

I was kind of quiet yesterday for good reason.  We were trying to squeeze in Free Comic Day, a haircut, the retrieval of my husband’s car, and my birthday celebration into one day. Evil Genius was wonderful-he said it was my day.  This meant I got to do pretty much whatever I wanted, within time and budgetary constraints of course.  So after I did a little solo shopping at the mall while they were at the comic book store, we met up and drove back home to get the haircut taken care of and headed BACK to the big city to get in line to see Iron Man 3.  This was to be followed by a light supper afterwards.  I was pretty psyched to get out because I didn’t think I could stand another day of sitting home and doing very little, and I am dying to see that particular movie.

We got three blocks from the movie theater…and heard the unmistakable sound of a child throwing up in the back seat. Not like you want to know this, but the Professor has issues with spontaneous vomiting.  We never really know if he is sick or had one of his random episodes. Being the great parents that we are (don’t laugh) we turned the car around and went home.

Sorry Mr Stark, I’m going to have to wait another week or two or twelve to experience your awesomeness. After I cleaned the backseat thoroughly, Evil Genius cooked me a delicious dinner, we watched Rise of the Guardians with the kids, and then later on watched Anchorman again-because I needed some serious comic relief.  I love lamp.

Tony Stark reads my letter of apology...

Tony Stark reads my letter of apology…

And Evil Genius’s car is still at work.  Guess who’s taking him to work tomorrow?  I’m not complaining, since it’s Princess Gimme’s birthday I’m sure she’ll be up at the crack of dawn anyway.

I did a weekly wrap-up yesterday quite late, if you missed it and want to read it click here.

On to other things, today I am participating in a series about WAHMs over at Mommy Writings: Daughter of Maat.  Today is Part 1 of how I got into blogging and writing. I realize that I can’t really consider myself a WAHM (Work At Home Mom) since I don’t really get paid for what I do (yet.)  For the time being I’m considering myself a BAHM (Blog At Home Mom).  The link to the post is here.

Back home at the ranch, I’ve got a birthday cake to make for The Princess and birthday shopping to attend to today, but I’m feeling a bit *urpy* myself.  I really hope he didn’t share his germs with me!  Don’t worry, I’ll try not to breathe on you…

Wonder where we go for our geek fix?  In Central Iowa we have the coolest comic book store ever-it’s called Mayhem Comics and is located in both Des Moines and Ames.  I’m saving the rest of my information for a future post on our hopeless geekdom, but I really wanted to give a quick shout-out to this place because it is AWESOME! 

Doggone Weekly Wrap-Up

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I’m calling this the “Doggone Weekly Wrap-Up” because my dog has been gone this week more than he has been here.  He bolts every chance he gets, and he WILL NOT come to us until he is wet, miserable, and hungry.  He got out so much that on Thursday he had to hang out overnight in the puppy clinker.  When I went to retrieve him, I put the words “Bail for the Escape Artist” on the check.  Hopefully he’ll figure it out that it’s not cool to run away all the time from the place where he has shelter, food, and lots of love.  Yeah, right, I won’t hold my breath.

But I digress…other stuff happened this week too.

Monday EXTREME GREEN!  My efforts at trying to be more healthy…

Tuesday  This Mom’s Birthday List  I have a birthday coming up, so for fun I made a list.  This is one that’s a bit more realistic than my Christmas list was. At least I hope so.

I also dumped out my purse over on the Kelley’s Breakroom Facebook page.  It’s ok, I really needed to clean it out anyway!

whats in her bag

Wednesday Wordless Wednesday: Just Chillin’ (And A Link To My Guest Post)  I thought it would be fun to do both the picture as well as plug my guest post over at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion.  So I did.  Be sure to stick around and show some love to Stephanie’s blog when you’re done!

Thursday  Theme Thursday: Do-Overs  What would you do over if you had the chance?  My answers may or may not surprise people.  Complete with scenes from Star Trek IV, because I cover all the bases.

Friday  Help, HELP!  I’m Trapped At Target!  A tale for Finish the Sentence Friday for all to behold and laugh at my expense.

Cool Stuff That I Know About That I’m Not Sure That You Know About But Should And Favorite Stuff I Found This Week And This Is A Run On Sentence And I Don’t Care

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday-Here’s some fun every Tuesday that you can come over and put your two cents in.  Jen Kehl  spends some time each week making lists of songs according to whatever theme they have in mind.  This week’s list was breakup songs.  Who else breaks out into Paul Anka when they think of breaking up?

When Crazy Meets Exhaustion-Trouble Making Me-I was here this week guest blogging, and this is one of her posts that shows the awesomeness that is Stephanie.

Living on the Spectrum:The Connor Chronicles-POOP This has nothing to do with what you think it has to do with. It has everything to do with a real mom’s version of Gwyneth Paltrow’s website “GOOP”

vader no tp

Best and Most Disturbing Search Terms

Withdrawal  Who’s withdrawing what??? 

Moose yodeling  A moose that can yodel?  Or people yodeling for mooses?  Here moosey moosey moose yoh-deh-lay-hee-hooooo.

Exercise machine won’t make eye contact Do you really want your exercise machine to stare at you?  That’s weird man.

I don’t get the funny waldo post  You should because it was freaking AWESOME!  Missed it last month?  Read Where’s Waldo?  Answer: Creepytown here.

Renaissance fair cleavage  I defer this one to Menopausal Mother.  Missed this post too?  What is wrong with you people?  Read Cleavage and Kilts here.

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My lovely friend Marcia The Menopausal Mother at Renfest.

Next week

Our trip to the eye doctor, my review of I Just Want to Pee Alone (for reals this time, I promise!), a special birthday Wordless Wednesday, unusual parenting for Theme Thursday, and what I want on a desert island for FTSF (this is gonna be fun…)

Oh, and just one more thing…

I did this thing, y’all.  I’m terrible at self promotion and at asking for votes.  I submitted two of my posts to the BlogHer Voices of the Year.  If you’re a member of BlogHer and want to help little old me out, please follow the linky-dinks and vote for the posts.  I don’t know if it makes a difference, but it would be nice to be recognized!

Here are the links if you are interested in voting:

http://www.blogher.com/lessons-kids-life-short-play-naked

http://www.blogher.com/i-peed-my-pants-wal-mart-and-other-tales-mommy-incontinence

Have a great rest of your weekend and a FABULOUS week this next week!

How Antisocial kitty reacted to the dog running away (a reenactment of course).

How Antisocial kitty reacted to the dog running away (a reenactment of course).

This Mom’s Birthday List

bday 20001_edited-1On May 1st I will turn the ripe old age of 39.  I know, don’t I look young for my age?

I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I believe I will go the extra mile and think really hard about what I want for my birthday.  I know it’s not about the gifts, but I’ve been extra good this year.  I have even kept my house clean for almost a week straight.  I am kind beyond belief, even when I want to strangle other people that I live with.  I bathe the dog.  I spend hours planning out and then executing my plan of attack for grocery shopping to maximize what we get for the money.  I make lunch AND coffee every morning for my husband.  I send him thoughtful messages.  Although I am not a fabulous cook, I don’t let my family starve.  Did I mention I have two children???

1) Permission To Be An Adult  A night out where we have a sitter and my husband is not on the verge of falling asleep, where there is a movie on that we actually WANT to see and enough funds to catch dinner somewhere beforehand (a place where we could make *gasp* reservations??  Do they DO that in Iowa?) Not having to rush home, and maybe even some grown up fun when we GET home.  Hmmmm…I don’t ask for much, do I?

2)  BOOKS.  Not just any books.  Books by my favorite people.

I told a huge lie.  I didn’t mean to.  I told Amber Dusick that I had just bought her book. Technically I had.  It was sitting in my cart on Amazon. I was GOING to buy it.  Twice.  I wanted the free bookplate, because she’s my hero. And I said ‘penis’ on her blog comments.  Therefore it was the least I could do, right?  But then real life intervened and decided that groceries and gasoline were more important than me getting to read her book.  Sigh… For those of you living under a rock, I’m talking about the Parenting, Illustrated With Crappy Pictures book.  I’d also take any of the books from the Life Well Blogged series, because I like to support other fellow bloggers!

3)  Complaint Free Shopping. A shopping day alone or with a willing companion (who is not four years old).  I’m no shop-a-holic.  I do, however, like to have time to actually browse in stores that don’t have a toy or a dollar section.

It’s fun to go to stores without an eight year old declaring that it is the worst day of his life because I made him put the DS down and get out of the car.  To leave the house just once without Evil Genius declaring “Let’s get this over with before I vomit!” To go eat at a place that doesn’t have fries or chicken nuggets on the menu.  To be able to try on clothes without a child licking the mirror.  To go to a scrapbook store without a time limit or a little one dismembering a whole rack of stickers.  To not have to scramble to get back home to make supper.  To go to any place that sells anything without a little voice begging “Can I have that, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease????”  (For the record, Evil Genius does that too-he still won’t forgive me for telling him he couldn’t have a Lego Death Star). To have a highly caffeinated beverage without someone pouting.

Evil Genius at the Lego Store at the Mall of America.  He dreams of a Lego Death Star.  His mean wife keeps telling him no.

Evil Genius at the Lego Store at the Mall of America. He dreams of a Lego Death Star. His mean wife keeps telling him no.

(Truth:  I love my family, but sometimes I just need a day away.)

4)  Recharge  A massage or something relaxing…HA HA HA!  I DID actually get a certificate for a massage once.  It was very, very nice.

For the record, my husband has informed me multiple times that he does NOT do subtle.  I have to flat out tell him or smack him.  So honey, here’s my list…  I want to see Iron Man 3 and Star Trek: Into Darkness, for when you take me out.  Maybe we can even hold hands in public or something.  Ooooooooooooooo…

I’d be happy with a bottle of wine and a nice homecooked dinner, but let’s pretend for a minute that I could have those other things I want, k?

Today I also dumped my purse out for Kelley’s Breakroom on her Facebook page.  My husband thought that was really weird, but I thought it was kind of fun!  So come over and check it out!  Tomorrow catch me over at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion, where I’ll be rambling about that special place where people understand me.  Also, don’t forget if you have a crazy question for Evil Genius, send it to me at thesadderbutwisergirlisme at gmail dot com with “Dear Dr Genius” in the subject line. 

EXTREME GREEN!

It's not necessarily easy being green.

It’s not necessarily easy being green.

In honor of Earth Day I thought I’d share a little about our efforts to be a little more healthy.

The other night I asked Evil Genius if his pants were sufficiently wrinkle free.

“HUH?”

“Well, I noticed that they looked kind of, well, creasy.  And do your clothes smell acceptable?”

Blank look.

Obviously he has no clue.  “I bought different detergent and fabric softener.”

“Oh.”  Apparently he didn’t notice nor did he care.

Not only did I buy different stuff, I bought the stuff I’ve always wanted to buy.  The kind that Evil Genius likes to refer to as that “All Natural Crap”.  That’s what he called my Method dish detergent.  I notice he didn’t make fun of the Norwex stuff, that’s because that stuff actually works.  Which reminds me, I still need to get me a Norwex dish rag.

The stuff was on sale.  I was weak (I was probably hungry).  And it smelled of lavender and blue eucalyptus.  That sounded so nice, like it was made by little koalas in a tree or something.

Smells sooooo good...

Smells sooooo good…

I’ve blogged on here in the past about my efforts to do things more naturally, and my whole laughable attempt at real food.  The real food thing went down the drain when I was working all the time.  I cringed and bought the cans of Pillsbury biscuits to eat with our soup.  Actually it was more at the thought of having to pop those cans open than it was of eating all that stuff that will probably kill us tomorrow.

It would be a lot more realistic doing that sort of eating if I would lay off the diet pop.  Coke Zero was my friend while I was working and I probably already have given myself spleen cancer or some other rare thing by drinking those giant mugs of it every day.

So the whole green thing not going so well until now.  My laundry smells really nice and other than it being more “creasy” I’m happy with it.

Over in the food department, I’ve been trying to avoid artificial colors and whatnot.  Especially when it comes to things like mac and cheese.  My kids are obsessed with the Kraft kind.  We haven’t been eating stuff in a box for years, except the occasional tuna helper and mac and cheese that Grandma brings us.  So of course when Target had a big sale on Annie’s Naturals we had to get some.  They have the best stuff!  So I went a little overboard.

She had to be in the picture.  Ham...

She had to be in the picture. What a ham…

What do you think?  Too much?

So now that I am a full time SAHM we’re eating better again.  And our clothes smell great-though I will insert my complaint here that after I bought that fabric softener every store within 100 miles of here has quit carrying it.  Just like my Crystal Light Pure.  Damn.  I settled on Method fabric softener this time.  Lavender and Lilac.  Happy face.

Although I’m having a devil of a time of keeping up on much of anything these days, there are some websites that I like to visit that are “green”.  A few of my favorite healthy/green sites:
Green Moms and Kids
100 Days of Real Food
My Whole Food Life
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I hope you have a happy Earth Day!  Go forth and be green and healthy!

happy earth day

 

Theme Thursday: What I Did Not Do On My Summer Vacation

Theme ThursdayTheme Thursday is a weekly party where women get together and write their takes on a particular topic.  It is non fattening, good for your heart, and may actually reduce your bad cholesterol, kind of like Honey Nut Cheerios.

Today’s theme is summer vacation.

*Ahem*  This is my report on what I did on my summer vacation… nothing.

I remember when I was a kid-we always seemed to do something cool when we were on vacation.  Now that I am an adult, I am the queen of the Nonvacation Summer Vacation.  I long to go somewhere and do something without us getting seriously behind on our bills and then having to play catch up for the next year.  When you’re living on the edge, and not in the fun Aerosmith song way, then taking a vacation isn’t always an option.  Evil Genius and I have been married thirteen years and together almost fifteen.  We’ve never really taken a REAL vacation, though we both would like to very much.  I see different places that people go, and just wondering how the heck they can do it.  And EVERY year, even!  A little of it’s Facebook envy, a lot of it is just wanting to go somewhere, anywhere.

For example, where did I go for my honeymoon?  Nowhere.  I was teaching school at the time.  A job that I got after we planned our wedding, booked the church and so forth.  I got to have one day off, the day of my wedding rehearsal.  I had to be back the following Monday.  I believe I called in sick.  I remember one of my coworkers remarking “What kind of teacher gets married in September?”  Me.  Because our church was booked every weekend clear through midsummer, and we didn’t want to get married in 100 degree Iowa heat.  So there.  I WOULD have got married over my summer vacation, but I couldn’t.

As close as we have come to an actual vacation in the summer was the year we went to the zoo.  We took my adorable two year old son to the Omaha Zoo.  We had to drive over and back because we didn’t think we’d be able to foot the bill to stay over.  It was fun, but upon planning it I overlooked one very important detail: The Collegiate World Series happened to be that very day, and it was right across the street from the zoo.  We spent a lot of time waiting in traffic.  We did have a good time, though a good piece of advice for anyone thinking about doing this is to BRING YOUR OWN FOOD.  You are allowed to bring you own stuff in, which is pretty much a must considering a sandwich costs eight dollars.

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He was so little in this picture! So was I.

Speaking of expensive sandwiches, two years ago my husband took me to the Iowa State Fair so we could see Def Leppard and Heart live.  We camped overnight and my sister in law watched the kids so that we could make that happen (and even get some grown-up time together).  It was awesome-one of only two rock concerts I have ever attended.  What’s the expensive part?  If you have ever been to a State Fair, it is one gigantic money suck.  A corn dog is at least four dollars.  And it gets worse-often they jack the prices of stuff up later a night:  a beer after the concert cost eleven dollars.  I’m not kidding.  That beer my husband had afterwards will live in infamy, at least as long as I’m alive and can bring it up.

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Proof I was there, double chin and all.

This was also the famous weekend that my husband’s sister swore she’d never watch our children overnight again.  They weren’t bad, just needy.  They also needed to pee 50,000 times.

Our one and only time where we have really gone anywhere and stayed overnight as a family wasn’t technically over the summer.  A year ago this weekend we went to Kansas and attended the NASCAR Sprint Cup race at the Kansas Speedway.  It was fun but COLD.

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The world’s coldest NASCAR race. Except for maybe the one where Kurt Busch did a snow angel.

I worried a little about writing this post because I didn’t want to come off as whiny.  I’m not complaining.  I love my children and my husband, and I wouldn’t trade them for any old vacation.  I’m just talking as well as dreaming. Summer vacation the last few years has consisted of two kids resisting the outdoors and very hot weather.

So what do I WANT to do?  Drive somewhere.  I’d love to go to Chicago or Minneapolis or St Louis for a couple of days.  See mountains.  Go to the Grand Canyon.  See some ocean again.  Go to Seattle.  Go back to Maine. I’d go with my whole family, or even just a couple of days with Evil Genius (he won’t have his laptop, he’ll HAVE to pay attention to me).

Nothing expensive, nothing fancy, just something that isn’t the same old surroundings.  Are you one of the lucky ones that actually gets to travel over summer vacation or do you have to stick close to home?

This post has been brought to you courtesy of a cold cold Spring and cabin fever.

If you went on an a three month tour of Europe, took a long cruise through exotic locales, or bathed topless along the Riviera, just shut up already and DON’T comment.  Post your pictures on Facebook and then I can be plenty jealous. 

Be sure to check out all of the other Theme Thursday posts by clicking on the Theme Thursday icon at the top of this post.  Thanks for playing.