Lego My Sanity: A Bit of a Rant

Use Your WordsWelcome to this month’s Use Your Words Challenge!  Bloggers participating in this challenge literally get to swap words to use in their posts, and the resulting masterpieces are all published at the same time for the world to read! 

The words I was given this month are: White ~ Table ~ Legos ~ Hair Brush ~ Tube

They were submitted by:

Be sure to see what other bloggers came up with by following the links at the bottom of the post.  Now read on for my little rant!

They get it honest.  Honest.

They get it honest. Honest.  I’m constantly reminded just how mean I am because I did not permit him to purchase this $400 set.

In case you haven’t figured out by reading some of my older posts, we are a lego family.

I love legos, because they encourage creativity and problem solving and all of that jazz for two children who would rather be parked in front of a television most of the time.  My kids would be content to play with legos all day long some days.  That’s cool, because it keeps them well entertained.

I also hate legos, because my children never pick them up.

Apparently legos are so much fun that we can never be done playing with them completely.  “But I’m not finished yet!” are the words of protest met most often when we have to quit building to do silly things like eat your supper, go brush your hair with a hair brush so you don’t look like an orphan child when we leave the house, or get ready for bed.

They were delighted when the Easter Bunny delivered these guys.

They were delighted when the Easter Bunny delivered these guys.

We tried establishing a specific area in the room adjacent to our living room where the legos could congregate.  There is a table set up specifically for building with legos, but instead it functions more as another place to put legos that are not being used.  The legos that are “being used” are all over the floor.

A perfect example of what really grinds my gears when the legos are out:  The Princess must only use white legos to construct her house of awesomeness.  That means that approximately 90% of the other legos must be thrown aside as she searches for those particular bricks.  On the floor.  Where they can be stepped on.

Imagine my chagrin when my husband gave in to the children’s request to bring the BIG container of legos in from storage.  So instead of just two somewhat large containers we bought at Christmas time, we also have one giant rubbermaid tub that has been sitting in the living room for quite some time.  It’s currently off limits.  Because Mom is tired of stepping on legos.  And Mom is mean.

Whoever put this up must be a parent with at least two young children.

Whoever put this up must be a parent with at least two young children.

Yep that’s right.  Currently I play the role of the bad guy because I’m constantly threatening to donate the legos lying about in the play room to a child who will take care of them and because I won’t run out and buy them a copy of The LEGO Movie.

Why haven’t I bought the LEGO movie?  Do I really want to hear “Everything is Awesome” 12000 times a day?  It’s already bad enough that I hear “Where’s my pants?” constantly.  I’m sure I’ll break down eventually-maybe when school has started and we aren’t together 24/7.

My solution to the LEGO problem naturally  would be  a big vacuum  tube.  Simply put it in the center of the room and all the bricks would be sucked up, kind of like that thing on the sand crawler on Star Wars.  You know, the one that sucks up R2D2?  Wouldn’t that horrible?  Not permanently, of course, just sucked back into their big old container.  Or to just take all the legos and make one big long road with them.  Instead of telling people to follow the yellow brick road, it would be to follow the lego brick road!  Sorry kids, you can’t use those bricks, it’s part of my road so people can find stuff.

Thank you for joining me for my little rant.  Now I want to hear from you.  Do your children possess a toy that you both love and hate? Is there something that your kids simply will not pick up no matter what you threaten?  I’d love to know that I’m not alone.                                Baking In A Tornado                          Spatulas on Parade                      Stacy Sews and Schools                              Sparkly Poetic Weirdo         Confessions of a part-time working mom                        Dates 2 Diapers 2                  The Bergham’s Life Chronicles                                    The Momisodes                   Someone Else’s Genius                 Follow me home . . .             Crumpets and Bollocks


Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: Dude You Must Chill!

Jen Kehl

This week’s Twisted Mixtape Tuesday is slow jams.  Music to chill to.  Groovy…

As an anxiety sufferer I am the exact opposite of a calm person.  I need to relax, I need to chill!  I need to find soothing things to slow my brain down.  Am I stressed out?  Take this post for instance-I have spent hours trying to figure out where “Dude YOU MUST CHILL!”  came from.  It’s NOT the quote from Say Anything.  I haven’t seen that movie enough to have that quote permanently etched in my brain.  It’s most likely from some obscure portion of some obscure movie that I’ve seen a zillion times.  But I’m going insane trying to figure it out.  The.Brain.Will.Not.Stop

I try to relax.  Music usually helps. After the other humans that live in this house have gone to bed, I stay up pretty late, reading and writing online.  Often when I’m writing late into the night I listen to Ambient music.  No one wants to hear that stuff, right?

Other times when I have to mellow out and chill, there are a few choices on my playlist:

It just wouldn’t be a list by me without some S and G.

The Sounds of Silence Simon and Garfunkel

A lot of times when I’m feeling stressed I’ll pop in The Division Bell by Pink Floyd.  I was introduced to Pink Floyd in college, a time in my life when I seriously needed to mellow out.  This particular CD is one of two favorites, the other being Dark Side of the Moon.  Most people are familiar with the dark side, but not so much with the bell.  I couldn’t find a lot off of this CD online, this is one song I could find.  Trust me, the whole thing is good…

Take It Back-Pink Floyd

And now for something similar yet completely different.  HA HA!  I love Enigma 2: The Cross of Changes.

Return to Innocence-Enigma

Sarah McLachlan is another musician I reach for when I need to slow down. My favorite song by her has become the signature song to depress people all over the world with images of abused animals.  So instead I share a not so slow but still mellow song.

World on Fire-Sarah McLachlan

And believe it or not, there are even some Pumpkins songs that I chill out to…

In The Arms of Sleep-Smashing Pumpkins

What do you listen to when you need to chill out?  Check out the tunes that do the trick for other bloggers by clicking on the cassette tapes at the top.  That will take you to Jen Kehl and Kristi Campbell’s awesome link up!  Link up your own if you want.  The more, the merrier.

The Dude Abides...

The Dude Abides…

Let’s Get Physical (In a Non Olivia Newton John Sort of Way)

She definitely looks better in a headband than I do.

She definitely looks better in a headband than I do.

While many of you were out enjoying the great weather earlier this week, I was lying face down on a table.  Doesn’t that sound like fun?

It was actually means to an end.  The beginning of finally getting some relief for the literal pain in my neck. Since nothing that I have been prescribed has worked thus far, I ended up getting sent to get physical with the physical therapist.

Ironically, I started physical therapy this time exactly five years ago to the day I first had physical therapy at that same facility.  I had my tiny baby little girl in her carrier and an adorable three year old boy accompanying me back then. This was when I could barely walk without excruciating pain and had a horrible pain in the neck.  Now I have two adorable and curious elementary school aged children who asked a lot of questions with me, and a neck and head that throbbed when I blinked.

deep tissue massageI filled out paperwork. I squeezed stuff.  I got smacked with one of those things they test your reflexes with. I got pushed and prodded and got my head almost yanked off of my body.  I got some great deep tissue massage.

Meanwhile, my children were so good they were practically little angels.  This may have something to do with the fact that they thought I was going to have electroshock therapy or something like that.  No, dear children, the TENS machine does NOT deliver electric shocks.  Apparently that is what my son took from the conversation we had the previous night about what physical therapy actually was.

Both children stared at me with wide eyes the whole session, whispering to one another and looked quite a bit worried.  At the end when she hooked up the electrodes to me The Professor started jabbering a billion miles a minute.  He wanted to know what exactly was going to come out of those things.  The therapist was great, explaining everything that she was doing and how it all worked.  Even then, they didn’t relax until she turned it on and I didn’t even react, or started smoking or anything interesting like that.

static electric chairThey got tootsie rolls in exchange for all of the stress that my session put them through.  I’m probably in for it on Thursday when I go back, now that they realize what I’m really having done.

I have to go for at least a few more times.  Next time I need to take a notebook, because I forgot pretty much everything she told me by the time I got home.  Something about C1 and C2 (which disappointingly has nothing to do with cookies).  Use cold instead of heat. Something about a something something muscle in my back.  I was given three exercises to do every day at home.

Oh-and I was told no more blogging on the couch.



In other words I need to stop being so lazy.  I need to sit in a chair at a table or desk with the computer at a certain height.  While sitting on my couch with my laptop most likely did not cause the problem, it certainly isn’t helping!

So I carried the desk from the bedroom down the stairs and set myself up for blogging in the living room where I could keep an eye on both kids.  I found the fold up chair with the padded seat and back, but since I have to keep my elbows at a 90 degree angle I also have to sit on pillows.

Guess what?  I hate it.

I can’t concentrate.  I’m certainly not comfortable.  I’m not inspired.  My back hurts.  Add the pounding headache that I’ve had all day and it’s SUCH a good time.  I have posts scheduled for other people that I need to write.  This with the realization that I haven’t written much that can be considered actual humorous writing lately makes me a bit frantic.

Who knew that I was really that lazy?  I’ve always known that desk work isn’t my thing, but it’s necessary.  I need to channel my inner couch so I can have some inspiration to write funny things.

What do you do when you need inspiration?  How do you make the best of a situation that isn’t ideal for you?



Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: Summer Vacation

Jen Kehl

This post was written as part of Twisted Mixtape Tuesday, Feel free to come on over to and see what other people have written on the subject of summer vacation songs at Twister Mix-Tape Tuesday at

When you think of summer vacation, you probably recall my little ranty “I never get to do anything on MY summer vacation like all the rich folks get to do every year” whiny post for Theme Thursday a few weeks back.

HOWEVER, if you put in that it is MUSIC associated with summer vacay that changes everything.  I start thinking about my summers in Maine-cool foggy weather, walking along the rocky beaches.  Also I think about my summers in Florida-that beautiful blue ocean is forever burned into my memory banks.

What occupies my mind for the most part, however, is the three summers I spent working at a waterpark as first the chick who took your pass and gave you the wristband, then the kitchen manager, and later on as a very unlikely candidate for a lifeguard (I am the whitest, freckliest chica on the planet).

So I present to you my playlist that is a mish-mosh of songs from summers past.  I have no cool visuals or videos to play, because I suck at finding the actual videos to go with the songs.  Sadly, I am not a Twisted Mixtape Tuesday Mix Master like Jen.

Just chillin'...

Just chillin’…

The Boys of Summer-The Ataris
No offense to Don Henley, but I just love this version of his 1984 hit.  More electric Geetars or something.  This song always come to mind immediately when I think of summer.

Summer Nights-John Travolta/Olivia Newton John
Oh COME ON-who doesn’t think of this song when it comes to summer?

Cannonball-The Breeders
Ah, the waterpark days.  This song was immensely popular because it was a hit at that time and because it had the word Cannonball in it. Duh.  Anytime I hear this song I am immediately taken to that place-chlorine and fried food.  Good times, good times.

No Cannonballs here, but maybe some synchronized swimming?

No Cannonballs here, but maybe some synchronized swimming?

In the Summertime-Mungo Jerry
We saw this song on some show, and it had the most stoned piano player we had ever seen in our life.  We couldn’t remember what group sang it, so naturally we had to ask my mother in law.  She could remember the record and what color it was even on.  Maybe this one is cheating, but since then I DO associate this song with summer, for whatever reason.

Chattahoochie-Alan Jackson
This makes me think of the summers in high school and college in Southeast Iowa spent at the local, county, and state fairs.  Lots of line dancing and guys wearing cowboy hats and boots.

This was presented to me as an 11th hour challenge by Jen Kehl, the creator and sith lord of the mixtape genre.  I started out writing my list as a comment, but it became very obvious that I was going to have to do more in my weakened state.  Damn you Jen Kehl!  😉

This is what I do in the summer now.  Don't be jealous of my blindingly white skin, k?

This is what I do in the summer now. Don’t be jealous of my blindingly white skin, k?


Never Judge A Mom By Where She Tries to Read Her Book

It came!  It came!

Something came in the mail for me that’s not a bill.  It’s also not the phone book, though I did get one of those recently too.  I was not nearly as excited for that as I was for this thing I’m about to reveal to you.

It’s this:


Note the awesome photography by yours truly.  Yes, I will not be quitting my day job.  Oh yeah, WHAT day job?

It’s a book. *GASP*  Yes, little ADD me is planning on attempting to read a WHOLE book!

You see, I know some ladies.  Ladies that I interact with on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, among other places.  They are moms.  They blog like I do.  They are also well known and I am not.  I’m not hatin’, I’m very excited for any bloggers that get published, especially on a scale like this!

I strongly suggested I needed asked nicely begged for a copy of the book.  I commented to one of the wonderful ladies that is featured in that thar book that I would love to read it and it would be swell if someone sent me a copy.  Not only did she send me one, she also signed it.  This MADE MY YEAR!!!

I’m planning on reading it, and then reviewing it here shortly.  This makes me think that I should be working on a ratings scale.  Instead of five stars, maybe four snotty kleenexes?  Five messy handprints?

But if I want to read it, I need to FIND time and secret places to look at it and get this accomplished.  So if I’m not cleaning my house/blogging/feeding my children/pretending to care about my husband’s Sims 3 game as much as I probably should be, I’m probably in one of the following places with the book:

  • Up in my bedroom with a flashlight under the covers, hoping no one will realize I’m missing.
  • On the couch pretending to make a list of chores for the kids.
  • In the closet back behind a few rubbermaid containers claiming I am just “making the switch to the Spring clothes”.
  • In the kitchen making dishwashing sounds-oh hell no one is going to believe that one.
  • Inside the mountain of laundry with the camping lantern on the back porch.
  • In the car. (Interestingly enough, not in the garage because there are a few things preventing my car from fitting in there, including a bathtub.  I’m dead serious.)
  • On the toilet-duh.
  • In the basement, pretending to defrost the freezer, clean the dead mouse out of the furnace, and/or clean out the litterbox.

Meanwhile, I’m also dreaming up how I’m going to work the whole “poop roulette” thing into a post so that maybe I can be featured in the next one.  I can dream, right?

If you can’t wait for my review, and I am by no means telling you that you should (this IS me you know, I haven’t read a whole book since I had kids) then go to Amazon and take a look-see and order yourself up a fresh copy HERE.  And in case you’re wondering, I don’t get any credit for this.  BUT you can sure give me some brownie points by somehow working my name in there.  Something like writing in the review area there “Sarah from The Sadder But Wiser Girl, a fine humor writer (who ISN’T IN THIS BOOK and what a tragedy that is and should really be in the next one) recommended that I buy this book even though she hasn’t finished reading it herself yet…”

I begged for the book.  I have to find time to read it.  Think they'll find me back here?

I begged for the book. Now I have to find time to read it. Think they’ll find me back here?


Helloooooo February! Week In Review

Help me Obi Wan Groundhog, you're my only hope!

Help me Obi Wan Groundhog, you’re my only hope!

The groundhog didn’t see his shadow this past weekend.  This is good news to me, though I still wonder why our country seems so dependent on a rodent to forecast the weather…  I understand folks on the East Coast are really hoping he’s correct.  I think they found Nemo, or Nemo found them.

Stuff I did this week, besides taking on a long term sub job:

Monday  This is Your Body on Stress:  Insane in the Brain  My body lashes out and tries to kill me.

Tuesday  My Life of Crime: Subliminal Criminal  Instead of getting to jump right into work like I wanted to I had to wait-my background check revealed I might be a criminal.  Too bad I didn’t know this, I could have been shoplifting this whole time.

Wednesday  Almost Wordless Wednesday:  BRAT  Some dogs are just not very smart.  MY pooch is one of them.

Thursday  Theme Thursday:  SHOW ME THE CANDY!  Valentine’s Day-my kids already know what it’s all about.
I also had my first post featured on The Epistolarians.  I’m very excited to be a part of this group of women!

Friday  February Secret Subject Swap Take 2:  Public Humiliation-I Pee Therefore I Am  Because pee happens.  Sometimes bad things happen when you pee, and I’m not talking about itching and burning.

And for those of you that were wondering about my criminal past:

I AM NOT A CROOK!  As it turns out, there must have been some glitch.  The fax came and there was no record found.  Too bad the paperwork sat on a desk for almost a week.

I AM NOT A CROOK! As it turns out, there must have been some glitch. The fax came and there was no record found. Too bad the paperwork sat on a desk for almost a week.

Favorite Posts by Other Blogs:

I am seriously behind on all of my reading for obvious reasons, but I did read some great stuff this week!

Mommy, How Did I Get Out of Your Tummy? The Bearded Iris  This conversation could have totally taken place in my house…

Ten Bad Valentine’s Day Gifts Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva  Meat underwear.  That’s all I have to say about this.

Secret Subject Swap Take 2 Baking in a Tornado  Be sure to check all of the posts-she has them all linked up!

Work is going pretty well now that I am exonerated.  This blog?  Unfortunately it’s losing views due to the fact that I can’t post updates during the day, or something.  Please check in on me and keep reading.  And you can still vote in the Circle of Moms contest up through 4 pm Wednesday-the last time I looked I was up to #99.  I never cared about getting into the Top 25, but I did want to get in the Top 100.  Thanks to everyone who has voted for me!

I’ve got some awards and a funny sort of q and a thing that I need to share coming up, and Friday is the next round of Fly on the Wall.  Hope to see you all next week!



This Is Your Body On Stress: Insane in the Brain

anxiety cat

I love anxiety cat.

I started writing this post before I found out I was going to be doing a long term sub job.  I decided to share it today because this is the day I start that job and, well hell I’m stressed about ridiculous stuff like having enough money in the account so my husband can get to HIS job too… Is it payday yet?

Stress Is As Stress Does

I haven’t been as productive as I would like to be these days.  This is partially because of the mysterious neck problem continues to plague me.  Instead of blogging and writing like I shoudl be I’ve spent a lot of time trying to self diagnose any fatal illness it might be.  My doctor says it’s extreme stress-and I need to RELAX. Whhaaaaaaat?  I need to relax?

I guess I would know firsthand about how stress affects the body.  Example:

Job I disliked where people would rather have a colonoscopy than listen to me=I was sick all the time

Job I loved with great coworkers=illness was rare for me.  (This is that same place that I am subbing at for the next couple of months.)

(I wanted to make a chart or a graph to illustrate this point, but I don’t know how to do that.  So I won’t.)

Being unemployed for quite some time and feeling utterly hopeless and unhirable, as well as worrying that any day now we’ll be moving into a refrigerator box, I guess it makes sense that I have a little, ok a lot of muscle tension.  My shoulders, my back, the back of my neck-it all bothers me.  But one side of my neck is particularly bothersome.  It’s tight, a little swollen, and sometimes aches.  It sucks.  Remember, the doctor says it’s stress…

stress calories

The Mole

Needless to say, every little thing bothers me these days, because I start thinking about it obsessively because my brain goes nuts.  My thought process is quite screwed up these days. To illustrate this point:  one day last week I had an itch on my back.  I scratched the itch, only in the process felt a scabbed over mole in the same instance that I SCRATCHED IT RIGHT OFF.  Then I freaked out.  Oh my god, why was it scabbed over?  Is it cancerous?  Surely it must be cancerous if it has a big scab on it!  It hurt-well of course it hurt because I just scratched an entire mole right off of my body!  I couldn’t reach it to put a band-aid on it, and everything I did that came anywhere near it irritated it and made it hurt.

When my husband walked in the door I immediately told him that I needed him to do something.  He looked at me suspiciously.  I told him I needed him to put a Band-aid on my back, and to seriously tell me if it was something that needed to be looked at by a doctor.  I raised my shirt.


I turned around and looked at him.  He was grinning from ear to ear.  “It looks fine dear.  Now let me put the band-aid on before you die of anxiety.”

I surmised and he agreed that mole was in the precise spot where I turn my bra around to put it on and take it off.  I must have caught it on my bra. Is this how normal people put bras on and take them off?  Just wondering…now I’m going to worry about that.

peanuts anxiety

A Day In the Life of a Stress-a-Holic

Last week I kind of sort of kept track of what I was obsessing about throughout the course of one day.  Read it, and then go ahead, LAUGH.  You know you want to.

Disclaimer:  Things on this little timelinemay or may not be slightly exaggerated…

8 am-Hey no pain, this is great!  Let’s eat some Cheerios, but not too many, because they have to last until payday.

9 am-We have two dollars in our checking account.  Joy.  At least we’re not overdrawn. But dammit my check from the last class I taught still hasn’t arrived.

10 am-Neck is bothering me a bit.  Let’s take a little Aleve before we get non blog stuff accomplished.

11 am-Still haven’t done a thing around the house.

12 pm-I think I have finally conquered the neck issue.  YEAH!

12:30 pm-My phone apparently died because I haven’t constantly kept it on the charger.  I have six missed calls from bill collectors.  Yay.

sallie mae

1 pm-Look at job boards.  Unless I want to be a Navy SEAL or work on an oil rig, I won’t be applying for any jobs today.  Ouch.  Tense muscles!

2 pm-Taking a walk, I think I have an alien in my carotid artery trying to break out.  WTH?  OW!

3:45 pm-It’s time for a nice relaxing shower.  (Yes I’m showering this late in the day.  I have a problem organizing my time.  Don’t judge.)

3:46 pm-Who is screaming? Open the shower door to yell at the kids to stop screaming at each other.

3:48 pm-Realize I haven’t heard anything out of the kids since I yelled at them.  I begin to worry that they are too quiet…

4 pm-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… What’s wrong with my face?  My face feels like it is getting all hard! I must have that disease that makes your skin get all hard!

4:05 pm-It dawns on me that I don’t have scleroderma.  I just didn’t get all the hair gel off my hands before I put on facial moisturizer.  That would explain things.

5 pm-Here we go, everything is tensing up.  I’m doing dishes.  I HATE dishes.  Quit clenching your jaw!  Quit it!  Stop!

5:05 pm-The children are banned from using the purple exercise ball in the living room after it nearly knocks the tv over.

5:15 pm-Garbage disposal locks up.  I still don’t know how to fix it.  I take the tool and wiggle it around in the drain.  Husband comes back from his run and shows me that I need to put the tool in a hole UNDERNEATH the garbage disposal.  Ohhhh… no wonder that didn’t work…

5:30 pm-Quit touching your neck.  QUIT TOUCHING YOUR NECK!  Oh wait, I think I feel a bump.  More than one?  OH MY GAWD I have tumors and they are multiplying by the minute.

5:45 pm-Cry into the tuna casserole while making it.  Tears are salty, adds flavor.  Mmmmm…

6 pm-Take another Aleve.  I can’t decide if this stuff is really working.  Resist looking up any more symptoms on Google.

7 pm-The icepack is brought out.  I can’t afford physical therapy.  Dammit.

8 pm-The heating pad is turned on.  That’s better.  Maybe I don’t need physical therapy.  Thank goodness.

9 pm-The muscle massager is brought out to loosen up those muscles.  All it does is make the snot in my head vibrate, which is a really strange sensation.

10 pm-I’ve only been on the computer most of the day.  Why would my neck and shoulders be bothering me?

11 pm-Go to sleep.  Quit touching your neck.  Go to sleep…

It can’t POSSIBLY be stress, can it???  Do you have anxiety?  Do you stress out about little things?  I’d love it if you’d share with me, so that I know I’m not the only crazy one on the face of this earth.

Speaking of stress, last month I posted about being sick and how you should NEVER EVER look up your symptoms on Google.  Susan over at Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva was reading my mind, and posted this video that made me LOL and feel much better… Yes she did it just for me, I swear!  Her WebMD: Just Say ‘NO’ video is on YouTube as well as on her blog.  Please go experience her awesomeness!

Was writing this post therapeutic?  Sort of.  Will we make it until payday?  If my husband has to move in with a coworker until then so he can get to work, I’ll let you know.

big anxiety


New Years Resolutions or Lack Thereof

new years cat

My husband and I resolved early in our marriage to never do the same thing twice on New Years Eve.  While Christmas and other holidays in our family tend to be somewhat rooted in tradition, we have tried to keep this particular one tradition free.  Later on we expanded it to not making New Years Resolutions.  We used to make them.  One year I recall  putting them on paper in an envelope so that we could see if we actually kept them.  Now that I think about it, I bet we never even found the envelopes.

The idea behind the resolutions is a good one.  The idea of a new year is a fresh start.  Who wouldn’t want to start off with a clean slate?  I myself could really use a fresh start.  In years past when I have attempted said resolutions, the year got underway and by February those resolutions went by the wayside.

I’m not changing my mind about it.  It’s not that I don’t plan on making some changes.  Rather than resolutions I have instead set some goals.  Is that the same thing?  Perhaps, but by not calling the resolutions I may be more apt to stick with them.  And these are things that I have already started.  No sense in waiting for a new year to kick in.

Eat Healthier-I’ve been to the edge and back, baby.  With depression comes some crazy comfort food.  But one can only subsist on dark chocolate and sugar for so long.  What I really need is a spell.  I need to go all Harry Potter and somehow cast a spell upon myself that the health food I once consumed regularly is the best thing for me.  This week I have consumed more vegetables.  I always eat whole grains, that is a no brainer.  But this love affair with sweeteners both natural and artificial has to be put to a stop.  More veggies, more fresh fruit, less diet pop, less junk.  Consuming less of everything-it should be simple, right?

you are what you eat

Move-As in getting moving, not as in moving to another town (though that would be nice).  Fatigue, cold weather, frustration with schedules, complaining children, and an uncooperative canine has made this not a priority to me.  I don’t have to do this to excess, simply getting back into walking some every day would be peachy.  I’ve done some yoga the last two days.  I’ve attempted to lift weights.  Last night my husband walked in the door and I walked out-not because I hate him, but because I needed to take a walk alone.  It’s less about losing the coffee cake top, more about just taking care of moi.


Attitude-The longer I’m unemployed, the more “losery” I feel.  Supposedly the state I live in has a great unemployment rate-and them proclaiming this just makes me feel that much worse.  Thanks, so glad everyone else is finding a job.  I have a feeling those numbers are greatly skewed.  I need to snap out of it and try to just feel better.  Whether or not I have a job shouldn’t define who I am.  What I do as a mom and wife should be more important.  I know, it’s all about that damn forest through the trees!  It’s hard to feel good when you’ve sent out over a hundred job applications and have had one interview, and then they took over a month to get back to you in an email.  For a cashier job.  At Lowes.

Honestly, is finding a part time job going to make me happy?  No, but being financially secure would be nice.  Can I make a job fall out of the sky?  No.  But I can try to control my attitude about it.  Take care of myself (you know, like showering and stuff).  Embrace the free time.  Appreciate what I have.  Play more with my kids.  Write more.  All the stuff I should have been doing all along.

inner demons

So that’s what I’m working on, even if I don’t call them resolutions.  Be sure to laugh at me six months from now.

I’ve seen several alternatives to making resolutions online.  My favorite is a jar with little slips of paper.  Every time you find something good, write it down on a slip of paper and put it in the jar.  At the end of the year, wouldn’t that be great to open up and read all of the good things that happened? This of course would require effort and thinking on my part.  So it’s probably not going to happen…

I’ll wrap this up with my husband’s whole take on the resolution thing.  I know he wants to try to get back into shape as well, but I’m not sure if he’s really calling it a resolution.  We were talking about me writing this post last night.  He said “My resolution is to have a good looking wife and two kids and a dog.”  Hey, he called me good looking.  I’m willing to support that.

This post was written in part because I am a follower and want to be liked, or something like that.  Actually, I wanted to start participating in Theme Thursday over on Something Clever 2.0.  Jenn was nice enough to actually write about my blog this week.  She even was kind enough to point out how much I use poop and pee in my posts.  Please come on over there and read what other folks have to say on the matter, or other matters, and read Jenn’s blog too.  It’s a win win, no matter what you do.  Good stuff, Maynard.


One Starship Captain, A Cat, And Some Fish Get Hung On A Tree (Among Other Things)

The Mediocre Christmas Tree

The Mediocre Christmas Tree

We were a day late getting the tree up and decorated this year, mainly because we hosted Thanksgiving.  Now that’s not as glamorous as it sounds.  Really as soon as I typed that I pictured Pat Sajak and Vanna White standing in my living room.  Since I don’t have letters on my tree, they aren’t necessary.

BUT I DIGRESS.  Focus lady, focus.  I’m fighting some sort of mutated alien respiratory virus that’s sure to keep me sick for awhile.  It’s hard to concentrate under these conditions.

As the kids decorated the tree and then for the next two weeks continued to undecorate and redecorate it, I found it very interesting what ornaments they thought were neat and which ones they barely paid attention to.  I thought it would be cool to take a closer look at some of these ornaments and their story.  This past week I read that Three Monkeys and a Martini is having a contest.  A favorite Christmas tree contest.  At first I wasn’t really interested because I don’t consider my tree to be very awesome.  It’s not very big.  It’s fake-because I am ALLERGIC.  I really am!  Evil Genius doesn’t believe me.  I figured the trip to the ER here a few years back would have been the kicker.

It’s just a Mediocre tree, but it’s full of memories and stories and that’s what really counts.  The more I thought about it, I decided it would be good to do the contest after all as well as do this post.  So here are some of the things you’ll find on our tree:

Plastic icicles and snowflakes-Totally cheesy.  But we had the icicles as a kid and I always thought they were cool.  Mom and I were at a thrift store and they had some.  They do look very sparkly on the tree.  And they must look good under the easy chair because that is where I keep finding them, every stinking night.

Bride and Groom Snowpeople– My Mom made these for me for our first Christmas as a married couple.  Another one that my daughter will  not leave alone.  She thinks they are so cute!  As I took the picture, I see the groom is MIA.  Typical.

One Fish, Two Fish-I love Dr Seuss.  I think I need a Green Eggs and Ham to go with it, don’t you?

Captain Picard-I actually had more than one Star Trek guy once upon a time.  We also had the doctor from Voyager.  First he lost his arm and then was seriously maimed beyond recognition.  This was a joint effort between a toddler boy and a very evil kitty cat.  Now I think the Borg are after Picard-he keeps trying to get out of his little doorway.

Celestial-I have a thing for the heavens, and celestial stuff.  Not as much as I used to, I mean I used to have a whole celestial bathroom for pete’s sake.  it was kind of scary.  I’ve toned it down, saving my celestial stuff for a few places here and there.  I’m more into mandalas and stuff like that now.  I guess it’s part of my lifelong search for peace and zen.

Starbucks-Oh yeah, I have two.  Probably the cheapest thing I’ve ever bought there!

Ms Thing keeps a close eye on things.

Ms Thing keeps a close eye on things.

Dough Ornaments-We used to make a lot of ornaments out of dough that my mom would mix up for us when we were kids.  After they were baked, we would paint them.  Unfortunately, between humidity and kids they don’t last as long as I would like them to.  The one in the picture is one my mom made of our family recently.

Cat Ornaments-I used to have a lot of cat ornaments.  Now I don’t.  Most have disappeared or have been physically destroyed.  This time I’m looking at the black kitty, who is trying to be the alpha kitty in the household…

Recycled-My very favorites.  I am into that kind of stuff.  I used to work at Eddie Bauer, and they would always have these neat recycled ornaments.  A couple of years I bought some to give and some to keep.  One is recycled glass and the other is some sort of recycled metal (probably made from cans and then painted to look like its copper).

The tree in a raindrop (or is it a teardrop)??-My daughter thinks this is the most beautiful thing on the face of the planet.  It’s a plastic teardrop with a little silver christmas tree inside of it.  She has taken the tree out of the teardrop about 3,000 times since we put the tree up.  I had to hide it to keep it from her.  That’s because it’s very old.  I had to call my Mom to ask about that one because I wasn’t sure of the story.  It was my grandmothers and her mothers before that.  Now of course this is the one I really wanted to take a picture of it, and it is missing.  Again.

There are many other notable ornaments on my tree. Like the ornament I got my first year of teaching from one student who made me tear my hair out.  As crazy as he drove me, that kid could sing, and I convinced him to try out for a local music group.  He made it, and has been singing ever since.  There are ornaments from my childhood.  And many others that tell a story.  I really don’t want this post to take ten hours to read, do you?

There are a few things that you WILL NOT see on my tree.  Like anything breakable. If I had anything breakable it’s long gone.  Again due to Evil Kitty, my kids, and this year a dog with a big lethal tail.  Also I have yet to really have any ornaments made for me by my kids.  One is not inclined to do it, the other whisks her creations away to be found later.  And really only ONE Star Wars ornament, and it’s not a Death Star that lights up.  Some day I WILL HAVE ONE!

My tree may not be the grandest, but it is definitely our tree because we have made it our own.  Do you have any ornaments on your tree that are special?


REBLOG: Things I Love So Much I Want To Marry Them (Sorry Honey…)

In the spirit of Christmas, here are a few of my favorite things! 😀

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

I thought it would be fun to do a post about some of the things I love, besides my family and friends of course!  I know that life is not about what you have.  But there are some things that if I had to live without them, while I would survive I would be very very sad.

Diet Sunkist Lemonade-A mysterious illness earlier this year robbed me of my ability to enjoy Diet Coke.  This other pop is the bomb.  I have loved it for a good portion of my adult life.  Unfortunately it’s very hard to find sometimes.  I’m addicted.  When I can’t have it I’m very sad.  But I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to, huh?

Neutrogena pear and green tea body wash-It’s like a little spa in my shower.  It smells so good, I look forward to showering so I can smell it. …

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