Theme Thursday: A-C-R-O-S-T-I-C-A-L-L-Y

Theme ThursdayFaster than a speeding bullet, able to leap over tall buildings in a single bound, look up in the sky-it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s THEME THURSDAY!  (Less like Superman, more like SuperGrover, but we’re cool with that.)  This week’s topic was to write an acrostic poem.  The Sadder But Wiser Girl is not responsible for eyes bleeding from the awfulness of the following post.  Please direct all complaints to Lucy at My Life as Lucille

henry-gibson

So we’re supposed to do an acrostic poem.  All I could think of was the theme song to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  “M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E”.

Oh come on, you did it too.

It has been awhile since I brought out some of my special bad poetry.  Jenn, you asked for it.  Here is my epically bad poem about parenthood.  I’d like my award to be something shiny, please.

P is for poop, sometimes as far as the eye can see.
A is aggravation of your father and me
R is for running, all the runs to town I must make
E is for the extra clothes I must take
N is for needing everything asap
T is the toys I step over carefully
I is for icky that comes from your nose
N is for “nos”, for you hear enough of those
G is for goodness gracious what have I done, for I can’t imagine not having all of this fun.

Now, let’s never speak of this again…

Don’t hesitate to go read all of the other poetry that I’m sure far outdoes mine in coolness by clicking here.

That's ok if this was your reaction to my poem.  Can't say I blame you.

That’s ok if this was your reaction to my poem. Can’t say I blame you.

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Previous Terrible Attempts at Humorous Poetry (And it Does Have A Christmas Reference in it)

I used to do poetry on my blog, and the results were somewhat terrible but also a little humorous.  I’ve had this fresh in my mind because I have been trying to enter the Twelve Days of Haiku contest over on Ninja Mom.  You basically try to modernize “The Twelve Days of Christmas” in Haiku form.  Here I thought if I could write a haiku about Taco Time (yes I really did) that I could whip one up in no time flat.  Not so much-the results have been no less than terrible.  However, there have been some really great ones (in other words not mine) submitted, stop by her blog and check them out (in her comments).  And check out her blog too if you haven’t already-she rocks!

If you’ve been following my blog for a long time, you’ve already read this.  In other words it’s sort of a reblog but one that’s much improved.  This is one of my early posts when I barely knew how to use WordPress.  This is one of those posts that drives me CRAZY because the formatting is completely messed up in the original post. I actually sort of figured out how to fix this, which is very exciting!  If this is your first time reading this, I hope you like it-most Moms can relate!

Indiana Jones and The Evil Couch of Doom (AKA Crap I Found In My Couch)

Is it an eeeeevil couch?

Is it an eeeeevil couch?

Instead of going outside to play,
I decided to clean up my house today.
I took the vacuum and to my couch I went,
What a lot of time there I spent!

What to my wondering eyes should appear
Was no miniature sleigh, but three bottlecaps from beer
A treasure trove of things that belong to my kids
Such as seven different markers without any lids.

A miniature conditioner and shampoo,
A DS Game, A Leapster game, a rawhide chew
Black and white polka dotted underwear
Three socks, none of them a matching pair.

Barrettes and rubber bands, a brush for the cat
A blue colored pencil a red lego guy hat
Seven lite Brite pegs, a crayon, some sand
A Lego Luigi who just had one hand

A spoon, a coupon, five pens, some rocks
Cheerios, a lip balm, green bristle blocks
A washrag, granola, Kleenex times four,
Puzzle pieces, stickers, beads, beads galore!

Magnets, a penny, a notebook, a racecar
My what a lot of things there are!
This is the crap I found in my couch
No wonder I always seem like such a grouch!

Dog eating couch!Disclaimer:  No animals have actually been harmed by our couch.

Dog eating couch!
Disclaimer: No animals have actually been harmed by our couch.