Guess Who’s Coming For Dinner: Conversations With Geeklings

shieldI never understood what the big deal was about… being normal.

From time to time, we have conversations in our household that seem perfectly normal to me, but that’s because I live here.

Later on as I think about it, not so much.

We’re nerds.  Geeks.  We don’t tend to like things that the normal person would enjoy.  We’re not normal.  And really, that’s perfectly okay.  I wouldn’t want it any other way.

This week with the anticipated opening of the latest Marvel movie which I am attending on opening night (Squeeeeee!), the conversations have been centered around superheroes.

Remember, we don’t get out much.

It started with Evil Genius disagreeing with my choice of serving utensil.  The ladle was in the dirty dishes, so I grabbed a great big serving spoon for our soup.  He protested loudly.

“Steve Rogers wouldn’t disagree with my choice of serving utensil!” I shouted after him.

(For the layperson, Steve Rogers is the secret identity of Captain America.)

Captain_America_I_Understand_That_ReferenceThen I totally uninvited him to the movie.  Too bad I don’t really have any say in that.

It went downhill from there.  By Thursday we were knee deep in superhero references.  We were talking about the new movie, and pretty much every other superhero movie ever made.  This somehow led to this question:

If we were to have superheroes over for dinner, who should we invite?

(This is REALLY important stuff in our house, by the way.)

The Professor right away shouts:  “The Flash!  Supper would be ready really fast because he’d cook it.”

(Food that is done quickly is very important to him).

So not only are we inviting them over, they’re cooking for us too?

The Princess:  “I’d like Wonder Woman to come over.  She’s a girl.”

(Poor Black Widow, she’s obviously a threat. No soup for her.)

Me:  “Well obviously Captain America is the right choice.  He would have EXCELLENT table manners.”

The Princess:  “We’d have to invite Superman.  He could open the pickles.”

The Professor piped up “Batman would be cool because his secret identity is Bruce Wayne.”

Me:  “What does that have to do with anything?”

The Professor:  “I just like Bruce Wayne.  And Batman.”

He just really likes Batman.

He just really likes Batman.

The Princess got a very worried look on her face.  “We can’t invite ALL the Avengers, because the Hulk would smash the table.”

The Professor:  “But if we ALSO invited Green Lantern, he could make us a new table with his ring.”

The Princess:  “But all his stuff is always green.  I don’t want a new table that’s green.”

Me:  “So invite a red lantern.”

The Princess:  “How about a PINK Lantern.  I would looooooooove that!”

The Professor:  “There are no PINK Lanterns.  But there are purple ones.”

The Princess:  “*GASP*  INVITE THEM!!!!”

The Professor:  “OK, but no yellow ones, they’re evil.”

Me:  “Yes I think there probably needs to be a no supervillain rule.”

(I’m secretly sad about that one, I’d totally invite Loki to my house…)

The Professor:  “Some supervillains aren’t really that evil.  Justin Hammer can come.”

(Secretly not sad now, Sam Rockwell can come to my house any time.)

The Professor:  “I’m sure that if we invited the Green Lantern AND The Flash that they would get along very well.  And Spiderman-I would love that.”

The Princess:  “Spiderman?  Ewwwww.  He’d just walk around on the ceiling.”

The Professor:  “Thor.”

The Princess:  “No.  No one is going to smash things.  He’ll smash things with his hammer.”

(She’s really worried about this whole smashing thing, should we be concerned?)

Me:  “Don’t you remember The Dark World?  He hung his hammer up when he came in the house.”

The Princess:  “Oh yeah! I still don’t want him to come though.”

The Professor:  “Let’s invite Phil Coulson.”

Me:  “He’s not a superhero, he’s a SHIELD agent.”

The Professor:  “That’s okay.  Agents can come too.”

In the end, the Professor was realizing his worst worry might come true if we did indeed invite all of these people over to our house.  His fear:  If all of the Avengers AND the Fantastic Four came over, how would Chris Evans be both Johnny Storm AND Captain America?  Serious stuff.

And nobody suggested Iron Man or any of the X-Men, which is a shame…

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Nobody invited Iron Man…

So there you have it, superheroes and SHIELD agents.  Dinner party at my house.

On the menu:  Pizza (shaped like a cat AND Captain America’s shield), Craisins, and baby carrots.  And if everyone behaves, chocolate/vanilla twist ice cream from DQ for dessert.

You’re all invited, you can even bring a guest.  That is as long as it’s not a super villain (except for Justin Hammer, you’re already invited).

Looks like I’m gonna need a bigger house.

This post is part of Finish the Sentence Friday, hosted by the following superheroes of the blogging universe:

Kate of Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine With My Morning Quiet Time?

Stephanie of Mommy, For Real

Kristi of Finding Ninee

Janine of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyholic

And very special guest host Katia of I Am The Milk
(one of my favoritest people on the internets!)

Check out how other people finished the sentence by popping over to see one of these ladies and the linky!

FTSF

 

 

Weekly Wrap-Up: Weak Week

It did seem a bit like a weak week to me.  My husband was on death’s door for at least two days (and missed work for three) while I’ve been suffering a bit, um, mentally (damn PMS).  But I did get new glasses this week, which was very exciting to me.  The picture is a bit blurry, but let’s just pretend that it’s on purpose, shall we?

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Monday  The ADD Kitchen 4:  Baby Its Cold Outside But We Want to be Healthy Edition  Baking when it’s cold outside makes the house warm!  Some stuff that actually worked for me for once!

Tuesday  Insomnia:  It’s Nothing to Lose Sleep Over  I’m a zombie, RAWR!

Wednesday  I am “Loded”  It’s not like it sounds at all.  This is what happens when you are all out of “v”s.

Thursday  Theme Thursday:  The ADD 80s Child Looks at 80s Teen Movies  Jenn challenges me to figure out which member of The Breakfast Club I am.  All I can think about is Sixteen Candles.  Here is the scary result.

Friday  Fly on the Wall January 2013:  The Princess Edition  Find out what man cans and lady cans are.

Saturday  The Flake Award:  The Please Don’t Hate Me Because I Forgot About My Award Post  I’m a flake and how I’m trying to make up for it.

My favorite posts this week:

(Is it sad that I really don’t remember much from this past week?  I haven’t been drunk or anything, honest!)

Depression-S*&T That Everyone Should Know  Nicole Knepper-Finally, someone who explains depression in language that I can relate to, in poop terms.  Well you know, sometimes you just feel like poop…  This is a must read!

ALL the Fly on the Wall posts this week!

Best Search Terms This Week:

Mr T Cooking-I pity the fool!

She wants my zamboni-Is this something like “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” or more like a penis reference?

What does batman eat for dinner-It really sounds like there should be a punchline.  Now I’m wondering, WHAT?

Abby’s Flying Fairy School lyrics-Look up high, in the sky, it’s a school, it can fly!  Um… I used to know all the lyrics… A quick search reveals that you can find the lyrics HERE.  So if you’re looking, now you know where!

Coming Up Next Week:

I have one very exciting thing to share:  I’ll be guest posting over at Menopausal Mother!  Yahoo!  But enough about me, go enjoy your weekend!

yay weekend

The ADD Kitchen Chapter 3: Why Duff Goldman Will Never Hire Me

It all began with a picture on Facebook.  A well known kids celebrity in these parts has three children, and his son recently celebrated a birthday.  His wife was stricken with a bug, so he made the cake.  A batman cake.  A pretty darn good cake if you ask me, with yellow frosting and black icing for the bat symbol.  He posted the finished results on Facebook, and my son spied the picture.

“That’s what I want, a batman cake for my birthday, ” he announced.

The Professor has never asked for any kind of character cake before.  Every year he wants the same thing-a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.  So this was a bit of a surprise.  He even continued to talk about the cake long after he saw it.  I figured he would have forgotten about it by now.  So I was on the hook for a batman cake and two dozen batman cupcakes for school. Easy feat you say?  Perhaps for you, but not for me, the ADD Chef.  Let me introduce you to the last cake I made:

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Here lies Madonna…

It’s supposed to be a princess castle cake, but it really looks like Madonna with her cone boobs lying down.  I always thought it but never said it.  When I posted it for the blogging world to see on Facebook and Twitter, people said what I was thinking.  Oh thank goodness it’s not just me.  However, I must point out that my daughter thought it was absolutely wonderful.  And I did take away a valuable lesson from this:  don’t use storebought frosting if you want to do anything remotely fancy!

SO back to the whole batman thing: I spent quite some time on Pinterest and online ahead of time, trying to find some inspiration to proceed.  All I wanted was a cake with REGULAR FROSTING.  I don’t do fondant, and I don’t do fancy cakes, because I can’t.  As I kept searching, I really started to feel pretty lousy about myself, because, well, have you BEEN on Pinterest???  My past cakes consist of the above cake and a bunch of cakes with storebought frosting tinted with food coloring and covered with sprinkles.

A typical cake by me.  Don't laugh, I can't take it.

A typical cake by me. Don’t laugh, I can’t take it.

It was a comedy of errors, only I wasn’t laughing much.  Mainly because I have been kicked in the kadoomus by some mysterious ailment (bronchitis) and was ready to cry at the drop of a hat because I felt so crappy.  I had several people tell me to just give in and go buy a cake at the HyVee bakery.  I would rather drag my body into the kitchen and make cupcakes while lying on the floor than go to the bakery for those sugary things.

I found a great template online ahead of time.  My plan was to make the cupcakes and cake, make the frosting, and then print out the template to make little bitty batman symbols and a big one.  When it was time to retrieve the template, the printer quit working.  I mean, the printer works, but my computer forgot it had a program.  Stupid HP.  My Kodak is still without a working anything, since they think I need to buy a brand new printer to replace one that isn’t even two years old.  Talk about planned obsolescence!  The other printer is an HP, and HP printers are the Dorys of the printer world.  Then I couldn’t find the cd-rom for that printer, of course, because it’s the ADD person’s law.  If I knew where the ADD handbook was, I’d happily show you the page with the rules.

Meanwhile back at the batcave: I made the cupcakes and froze them so they would be easier to frost.  I being the wonderfully organized (and sick) person I am I screwed around with the computer so much trying to get the printer to work that I started making the frosting at 10:30 at night.  I had found the Wilton food coloring paste at Hobby Lobby on clearance to tint the stuff, which was the only thing that actually worked out for me.  Surprisingly the homemade buttercream frosting turned out pretty yummy-not wonderful looking (other than the color), but good enough to use to frost.  I still didn’t have bat symbols, however, and I was running out of time.  The 11th hour desperate attempt involved me putting a piece of paper up to the screen and tracing the symbol with a dry-erase marker.  I figured I could just bypass the missing program and resize the image on the scanner.  Apparently you can’t do that.  At that point I marched back into the kitchen and started drawing on bat symbols with the sparkly black writing icing.  This was going to have to be good enough.

What does it look like to you?  Batman?  Or weird little crowns on smooshed egg yolks?

What does it look like to you? Batman? Or weird little crowns on smooshed egg yolks?

As someone who doesn’t really like cake, but is a big fan of Ace of Cakes purely for the geek factor going on there, I’m sad.  Yes I know the show was cancelled a while ago, but I know the bakery is still going.

And I still hadn’t made the other cake yet…  Actually I had, but I used the wrong kind of pan, and it literally sunk in the middle.  I even tried to flip it over to frost it, and the middle FELL OUT!  I was out of cake mix and had to go get more.  Since I bought it at the local grocery store instead of driving to town, it was like an $8 box of cake mix.  I ended up making the cake at 8:30 the next morning, but then had to leave again to go get powdered sugar for frosting, because I was out.  It takes a lot of powdered sugar to make frosting, but in the end it’s not only cheaper, but also better tasting and easier to use!

I ended up decorating the cake in the afternoon.  My batman symbol that I had hastily drawn became the visual inspiration for the big cake.  As I’ve said before, I’m not real good at free hand.  I drew the symbol on with the black icing, and then filled it in with *gasp* chocolate sprinkles.  Due to my aversion to them, we had quite a few.  While a bit crooked and not symmetrical, given my past attempts at just normal cake, this was definitely passable.

Not too bad.  I was even complimented on my use of sprinkles by said local celebrity.

Not too bad. I was even complimented on my use of sprinkles by said local celebrity.

In the end, it all worked out.  My son came home from school and was absolutely thrilled with it.  We had a nice visit with grandma, and he got to open presents and all that fun stuff.  His sister even refrained from blowing out the candles for him this year…

I may not be able to get a job at a cake place (or anywhere else for that matter), but at least I have made the little people on the homefront happy!

Sheldon Cooper Lives At My House, And Today He Turns Eight

This is the kind of thing that leads to trouble...

There is mischeviousness and collaboration going on in the backseat… Walmart has nothing to do with it.

As we were leaving the post office the other day I notice that there is a lot of whispering going on in the backseat between the Princess and the Professor.

Finally my son pipes up and asks me the following:  “Mom did you hear about the surprise party?”

Huh?  “What surprise party?”  I inquire.

“You know, MY surprise party.”  He responds.

He must be confused, I think.  I’m speechless for a minute, not really sure how to respond.  We’re not throwing a surprise party…  I don’t want him to think that we wouldn’t WANT to throw him a party.

“Honey, grandma is coming up for our little family party.  That’s not really a surprise because you knew about that.”

“THAT’S not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the surprise party that you are throwing for me.”

Um… “But honey, we’re not throwing a surprise party.  Just a regular one.  Not to mention that the idea of surprise is that you wouldn’t know about it.”

“But I’m ok with it.  I’ve told (The Princess) all about it.”

Ahhh… so The Princess is in charge?  This could be very interesting.

This was the point where I just gave up.  Why do I feel like this could very well be an episode of “The Big Bang Theory”?  Sheldon wants a surprise party and makes someone plan one for him but he’s actually in charge?  This could so happen.

My son in a few years.  He idolizes Sheldon AND acts like him...

My son in a few years. He is much like Sheldon…

Anyway, my point being is that today is The Professor’s eighth birthday.  It’s hard to believe that he’s eight!  It seems like just yesterday that he was educating his teachers on the finer points of NASCAR-stats, cars, the drivers, and even the owners.  He was two and a half at the time, and had literally just started talking.

His requests for his birthday ranged from getting every superhero action figure ever made to driving to Minneapolis and eating at the Rainforest Cafe.  We chose the middle of the road request-he wanted to go to the Science Center and see the IMAX movie and go to the exhibits.  He and his father will be going sans his sister and me-the last time we went with her she tried to run the show.  Imagine that.

The cake?  He requested a batman cake.  He is obsessed with superheroes.  Especially batman.  He and his sister are in love with the original batman tv series.  You know, the one with Adam West, and the theme song that gets stuck in your head?  You can hear both of them going around the house singing “Batman, na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!”  I am so, so very proud of this.  My kids are cool.

batman

Come on, you’d be singing it too…

However cool my children are, however, unless the princess has some connections I’m not aware of, there will be no surprise parties.  Just a nice quiet celebration with his family.  Batman cupcakes and presents.

Happy eighth birthday Mr Professor.  You’ll probably be famous by your ninth birthday.

Sheldon Cooper would kill to have jammies as cool as these!

Sheldon Cooper would kill to have jammies as cool as these!  I just wish the picture had turned out better.  This is from the postponed pajama day due to “Draco”.