I’m Not Going to BlogHer (And I Feel Fine…)

Is this a BlogHer ticket?

Is this a BlogHer ticket?

So apparently every female who is anyone in the blogging world shells out money to go to the wonderful, exciting, once in a lifetime every year BlogHer convention. This year (or maybe every year, I really never cared until this year) it’s in Chicago.  While not a trip I could make quickly, it’s not all that far from my neck of the woods.  I even had one of the coolest people in the world offer me a place to stay (you know who you are, admit it if you want to.)

So you ask, Ms Sarah, what is the problem?  What’s wrong with you?

Are you MENTAL?

Are you MENTAL?

Well, it is only a mere $400 a ticket.

$400!!!!!!!!!! What the hell does that do?  Does it buy you a solid gold ticket?

If I had $400 just laying around, there are so many things that I could do with it.  Fixing my dishwasher, replacing my son’s broken beyond repair glasses, and perhaps even pay for a few good nights of sleep are just a few things that come to mind.

I figure that people that go to BlogHer are all going to get really amazing t-shirts that glow in the dark or connect to the internet or something cool like that.  I thought I should make my own t-shirt that says “93% of the bloggers I know went to BlogHer, and all I did was make this stupid t-shirt.”

I imagine there will probably be gift baskets for every blogger laden with such things as solid gold “BlogHer” underwear, Godiva chocolates, diamond infused sparkly moisturizers, and silver shake weights.  Desserts are probably served for meals, complete with your choice of wine, cocktail, or an IV filled with caffeine.  A massive muscled male masseuse with a name like Sven or Antonio will lurk behind every plush velvety seat, ready to massage those worries about how that underwear is giving a solid gold wedgie right into nonexistence.

And one of these, because everyone needs one of these...

And one of these, because everyone needs one of these…

I bet there will be hot tub sessions.  Everyone will sit in a hot tub while learning how to be a better, more inspiring blogger.  There will be laundry service so good that not only will the attendees laundry be clean, their laundry back home will be washed, dried, and put away by email.

And everyone will leave with perkier breasts, because well, why not?

But no one will actually know all of this, because like Vegas, what happens at BlogHer probably stays at BlogHer.  There most likely are those devices that erase your memories (think Men in Black) positioned at every exit at the end.  All attendees will only retain the knowledge that they have gained, returning home to wonder “Where the hell did I get this USB powered toaster?”

Are you going to BlogHer?  I expect a full report if they don’t erase your memory, one full page typed single spaced.  And those little shampoos and conditioners and lotions that they give you, I’ll take some of those too.  Are you NOT going to BlogHer?  What do you think you’re missing out on?  In honor of those of us NOT going to BlogHer, there is a special event being hosted on Twitter by Jenn Rose and myself on Friday JULY 26th from 9 to 11 pm EST.  The link to the event on Facebook is HERE.  Otherwise, be sure to follow Jenn from Something Clever 2.0 (@JennSmthngClvr) and me (@sadderbutwiser) on Twitter, and find us using #HomeCon13!

My friend Terrye from The Adventures of a Misplaced Alaskan has some thoughts about BlogHer too.  Don’t hesitate to go over to her blog to fill your brain full of more BlogHer craziness.  Good times… Read 101 Excuses for not going to Blogger 2013

DISCLAIMER:  I am pleased as punch that some people that I know and love actually get to attend this.  Some people I know are even some of the Voices of the Year winners!  That is so exciting. I hope they really enjoy their drunken relaxing dessert and toast filled weekend!  😉

No hard feelings.  My cat, however, will fart in your general direction.

No hard feelings. My cat, however, will fart in your general direction.

The Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge: The Rest

I haven’t forgotten about the blogger challenge through A Little Unhinged. I’ve just been really busy with stuff like, receiving AWARDS (yes, people like me for some reason), not sleeping, and getting ready for the holidays.  Now I’m back to finish it up.  Today I’m answering all of the questions that I know won’t take a whole blog post to answer.  I realized that after we started the challenge that the questions were changed a little, so I may be answering some that aren’t on the list any longer!

What are your fears?

I also hate things that pop up suddenly-I can relate.

One of my biggest fears is something happening to my children.  I have lots of dreams where I’ve lost them.  I mean, like I can’t find them.  Dreams for me are so strange anyway.  I also dream about losing my husband.  Now as an ADD person, losing things is highly typical.  Just not children.

My other fear is natural disasters-specifically the more weather related ones.  I probably am afraid of these because it is something totally beyond my control.  My whole life seems beyond my control these days!  I actually have legitimate fear of tornadoes.  As a child we traveled home to see relatives during tornado season.  We were held up during one part of our route, and that turned out to be a good thing.  If we had been on schedule we would have been smack dab in the middle of a horrible tornado.  It was a scary night-I remember it vividly to this day.  The eerie cast to the sky, seeing all the destruction as we drove-telephone poles in the road.  And the radio broadcast-the stories they told. One woman got in her bathtub for safety and took a little ride in it.

A few years later when we were living in Maine my mother and I went shopping an hour and a half away from where we lived.  On the way back, a fuse went out and we were left in our Toyota in the dark, waiting for my dad to come help us.  It was a night of horrific weather with spectacular electrical storms.  This was very scary for me, even though we were probably in the safest place that we could be.  A lot of it probably had to do with that night in Iowa, but in Maine, thankfully tornadoes are very rare.

I can’t watch those shows about the super volcanoes or about the giant earthquakes or about giant asteroids smashing into the earth.  I just can’t!  They scare the bejeezus out of me.

What are your hobbies?

I scrapbook.  Or at least I used to.  Then life got in the way.  It was my release.  I am hoping getting my printhead ordered tomorrow so I can get back into it.  Much like my blogging, it takes up a lot of time because I am a perfectionist about it!

It’s true!  (ignore the typo)

The last couple of questions I saved for last.  This is because I am not real technically savvy when it comes to blogging.  If I hadn’t hooked up with A Little Unhinged, I’d probably still be walking around like a blindfolded person!

What are a couple of your favorite blog tools that you use?

Top blog tools that I use?  Ummmm… a laptop?  Maybe I should just say Bonnie Franks, she’s awesome at answering questions and helping you get things figured out on your blog!

Social Networks/Blog Communities that you want others to know you’re a part of.

Why cats are lousy with social media

Social Networks that I am a part of?  I have a fan page on Facebook, I use Twitter but not as much as I probably should (it is fun to do what I call “Twitterdropping”, where you read conversations that other people have on there.)  I have a Pinterest account that I’ve had for a long time, I just haven’t quite figured out how to link up to it yet.  I’ve joined SITS.  I’ve done a couple of Blog Hops.  I have an account on BlogHer and Networked Blogs.  I’m a member of the Bearded Iris’s #PMSClub on Twitter, does that count?  I created an account on Circle of Moms, but haven’t done anything else with it.  I have an account with SparkPeople through my other blog, Aluminum Girl, that I NEED to do more with but haven’t.  If you know of a social community that I SHOULD be a member of, or you WANT me to be a member of, please feel free to tell me about it!

And that’s all I’ve got for this challenge.  It’s been a lot of fun sharing.  It has also really helped me out-I’ve been inspired to change my blog to work better for me, and am trying to implement some changes that will help all of us connect better.  I have icons to load on there, and I am trying to make a blogroll on my sidebar that includes the blogs I read every day, not just the WordPress ones!  I like giving credit to people who have great blogs!

If you haven’t been participating in the challenge and want to, there’s plenty of time!  I couldn’t get the button right on my blog, but you can click on the link to A Little Unhinged and it will take you to the page where you can get going on it.

I hope you have enjoyed reading all of this!  😀  I leave you with this:


This Could Be Fun:  I’m Doing The 15 Day Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge, Where I Grew Up, Favorite Childhood Memories, School, Work, Life, Friends, Family, Goals, The Why and the What, The Top Posts, The Blogs I Visit