Meltdowns… Reviewed

I agreed to review this book and all I got was this PDF.

Crap.  I wish I was in a book, besides the phone book.

Did you hear the news?  Crystal Ponti of Mommifried gathered together some terrifically talented bloggers to write a compilation!  Isn’t that exciting?  I thought so, especially since I know several of the ladies that are in it!

But hey, this isn’t just any anthology.  This is a book about that point.  The adult version of a tantrum.  Something that I have referred to in the past as a “hissy fit”.  An incident that I’m sure I’ve had in the past, but the details are blurry because I’ve most likely repressed it to the deepest darkest corners of my little mind.

Ironically, after I wrote those words this very week that I am publishing this review, I had a meltdown of my very own. Only mine was in private where there were no witnesses.  I sat in my car and bawled my eyes out and thought for sure there for a little while there that my whole world was going to come crashing down.  My trigger?  Not really any specific thing, other than maybe PMS, lack of sleep, crabby kids, and my sixth sense alarming me to the fact that it was going to snow.  In October.  Not cool…

I just had to share that.

moam

This is what the book would like look, if I had one.  I have the lovely PDF version.  It’s REALLY hard to turn the pages (ha ha)!

So what about this book?

Why should you read this book? So you too can have that “meltdown connection” with people just like me and you!  Because we all have those moments, because we are all HUMAN (unless you are an extraterrestrial who is reading my blog, then kindly disregard that remark.)  Here is a little tease of some of stories in the book:

Lisa Witherspoon of The Golden Spoons reveals how her first mommy meltdown occurred just hours before she even became a mommy.  She also sums up some of the most epic celebrity meltdowns of all time.

Danielle Herzog of Martinis and Minivans discloses how being in denial of being pregnant can make you look like a shoplifter.

Jen Kehl of My Skewed View and Raised on the Radio finds out what happens when you give your spare dryer to a deconstructionist (and the title of this one got me singing Annie Lennox…)

Dana Hemelt of Kiss My List discovers that there really is crying at Disneyworld, as well as provides a handy manual of what to do to recover from your epic meltdown.

Melissa Swedowski of Home on Deranged includes a practical guide on what to do if you are faced with a meltdown of your very own (I took notes), and spins a harrowing yarn of her “food emergency” while pregnant and out with an impatient (and hungry) nine month old.

Debra Cole of Urban Moo Cow relives the time that a hat set her off.  It’s usually unmatched socks that do me in!

Kristi Campbell of Finding Ninee shares that perhaps “soccer tots” is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Rachel Demas of Tao of Poop gave me an earworm with her unplanned rendition of “Turn the Crib Around…” (Think Gloria Estefan… YES!  Got the earworm now?)  A bonus story doles out excellent advice when dealing with a child taken from her experiences in the “trenches” of elementary school.

Norinne Dworkin-McDaniel of Science of Parenthood explains what exactly Lego Stress Land is.  And shockingly it has nothing to do with stepping on legos without protection!

Janine Huldie of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyholic and J9 Designs reveals the boiling point at which having nonfunctioning a/c plus small children is especially maddening when Play-doh is added.

Karen Blessing of Baking in a Tornado tells the tale of when her son got in trouble with the video feature on his phone, though not in the way that one might necessarily expect.

Chris Carter of The Mom Cafe recalls the time that multitasking failed her when it came to finished grilled cheese sandwiches.

Marcia Kester Doyle of Menopausal Mother shows the stress relief benefits that a bag of powdered sugar can provide!

Look at this face... surely you don't believe that we have had our share of tantrums of the child kind here at this house...

Look at this face… surely you don’t believe that we have had our share of tantrums of the child kind here at this house…

Like other blogger anthologies, I not only enjoyed stories by my beloved favorites, but also introduced me to quite a few bloggers that I hadn’t yet had the pleasure of reading!  This book features a total of thirty stories.  If you do the math, oh, never mind…  Let’s just say that’s an unbelievable amount of talent in one place.  So much that if I tried to share something from each one this post would be terribly long.  Regardless, I want to make sure that everyone involved is mentioned.  I included links to everyone’s blog.  You know, because you want to visit EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!  😉

Anne Marie Gubenko of Tidbits from the Queen of Chaos
Alexa B of No Holding Back
C. Lee Reed of Helicopter Mom and Just Plane Dad
Natasha Peter of Epic Mommy Adventures
Tamara Bowman of Tamara (Like) Camera
Rabia Lieber of The Liebers
Nicole Goodman of Work in Sweats Mama
Michelle Nahom of A Dish of Daily Life
Ginnie Marie of Lemon Drop Pie
Stephanie Farley of Crayon Marks and Tiger Stripes
Melissa Galileo of Completely Eclipsed
Jennifer Barbour of Another Jennifer
Angela Keck of Writer Mom’s Blog
Marie Bollman of Make Your Own Damn Dinner
Jennifer West of PinkWhen
Andrea Moore of BeQuoted
Kristin Daukas of Four Hens and a Rooster

To learn more about the book visit The Mother of All Meltdowns, the website.  And coming soon, The Mother of All Meltdowns, the action figures! (Yeah I totally made that last part up, but wouldn’t that be super cool?)

So what are you waiting for?  Don’t walk, RUN to your nearest computer and GET THIS BOOK!  Oh wait, you probably are already in front of a computer if you’re reading this!

I was not compensated in any way to write this review, unless you count that whole good karma coming my way thing…  However if you really liked my review I DO like dark chocolate and wine…

Relax

I found this picture oddly appropriate for this post…

I reviewed another book once.  I can’t believe I was permitted to do one again.  Read my review of I Just Want To Pee Alone, complete with questionable pictures of me reading next to my toilet here.

I Review Famous Toilets, Or At Least A Book With a Toilet On It

I thought it would be funny to preface this book review with a review of famous toilets.  I found out quickly that there are not really that many toilets that would be considered famous.  Sad?  However there are a few.  For example, did you know that Elvis died on the toilet?  The toilet played a prominent role in Lethal Weapon 2.  How about the entrance to the Ministry of Magic in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1?  And who can forget how prominently the toilet has played a role in this blog.  Remember the toilet tractor beam, and an event so horrifying that I wrote about it twice? Oh yes.  Famous indeed.

Then I was charged with the task of reading a book with a toilet on the cover.  This is quite possibly the most famous toilet I have come into contact with!

See?  Famous toilet.

See? Famous toilet.

When I heard that many of my favorite bloggers were banding together to put out a book, my first reaction was “YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”

When I heard the name of the book, I knew that I could relate.  It’s called “I Just Want to Pee Alone.”  I haven’t peed alone in years.  I always have a kid or a dog following me in there.

I cried, whined, and begged until Susan from The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva took pity on me and sent me the book in the mail. I was so excited I almost threw up!  Thank goodness I didn’t, because 90% of the time I throw up I also pee my pants.  Is that normal?

Then reality set in that I hadn’t read a book in many, many years.

I blogged about this previously, thinking of how I would find the time to accomplish such a task (read about that here).  I finally did it, but it was not without considerable effort.

So technically I was NEAR the toilet when I read it.

So technically I was NEAR the toilet when I read it.

I laughed, I cried, I even peed a little.  Here is my advice for reading the book:

  • It is what is known as “an easy read”.  It’s like buttah for your brain.  Short but funny stories, easy to read a little at a time.
  • Reading on the toilet-yes, highly recommended.  Then when you pee from laughing, well… you get what I mean.
  • Hide it from your children.  My children thought it was the funniest thing ever because there was a toilet on the cover and therefore wouldn’t leave it alone.  Toilet=Funny.

My favorites (and I’m not playing favorites, we all have different senses of humor and there are different things that appeal to us more than others!  Don’t burn down my house please.)

  • Meredith from Mom of the Year wrote about the hilarity that ensues in some families when a member dies.  I could relate to a lot of this post.  We also laugh at morbid times in my family.
  • Bad Parenting Moments shared about birth control.  This is the one you need to read on the toilet.
  • Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva told A Tale of Two Vaginas.  I almost gave myself a second vagina laughing at this one.
  • Funny is Family humorously told the tale of just how embarrassing motherhood can be from the moment that test turns up positive.
  • Cloudy With A Chance of Wine reveals the truth about breastfeeding.  The truth hurts, literally.

And there is much, much more than this.  You’ll have to go find out for yourself!

If you were wavering on reading/purchasing/renting/stealing this book, I hope that I can persuade you to go ahead and take the plunge(r).  It’s well worth it.  You can find it right HERE.

Here is the complete list of everyone involved with this effort.  I found some new blogs from this read, and rediscovered some that I had not visited for awhile! I gave the ones I already followed a nice little star.  How nice.  Please note all of the extra work I did to provide a link to each and EVERY blog.  You’re welcome.

People I Want To Punch in the Throat
Insane in the Mom-Brain
*The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
Baby Sideburns
*Rants From Mommyland
*You Know It Happens at Your House Too
Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess
*My Life and Kids
Bad Parenting Moments
*Let Me Start By Saying
Frugalista Blog
Suburban Snapshots
*Ninja Mom
Four Plus an Angel
Honest Mom
Binkies and Briefcases
Naps Happen
*Kelley’s Break Room
*Toulouse and Tonic
HouseTalkN
Hollow Tree Ventures
The Fordeville Diaries
*Snarkfest
Mom’s New Stage
Nurse Mommy Laughs
The Dose of Reality
*The Mom of the Year
*Life on Peanut Layne
*Momaical
*Cloudy With a Chance of Wine
Confessions of a Cornfed Girl
I Love Them Most When They’re Sleeping
Random Handprints
RachRiot
You’re My Favorite Today
*Funny is Family
My Real Life

Never Judge A Mom By Where She Tries to Read Her Book

It came!  It came!

Something came in the mail for me that’s not a bill.  It’s also not the phone book, though I did get one of those recently too.  I was not nearly as excited for that as I was for this thing I’m about to reveal to you.

It’s this:

IMG_1749

Note the awesome photography by yours truly.  Yes, I will not be quitting my day job.  Oh yeah, WHAT day job?

It’s a book. *GASP*  Yes, little ADD me is planning on attempting to read a WHOLE book!

You see, I know some ladies.  Ladies that I interact with on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, among other places.  They are moms.  They blog like I do.  They are also well known and I am not.  I’m not hatin’, I’m very excited for any bloggers that get published, especially on a scale like this!

I strongly suggested I needed asked nicely begged for a copy of the book.  I commented to one of the wonderful ladies that is featured in that thar book that I would love to read it and it would be swell if someone sent me a copy.  Not only did she send me one, she also signed it.  This MADE MY YEAR!!!

I’m planning on reading it, and then reviewing it here shortly.  This makes me think that I should be working on a ratings scale.  Instead of five stars, maybe four snotty kleenexes?  Five messy handprints?

But if I want to read it, I need to FIND time and secret places to look at it and get this accomplished.  So if I’m not cleaning my house/blogging/feeding my children/pretending to care about my husband’s Sims 3 game as much as I probably should be, I’m probably in one of the following places with the book:

  • Up in my bedroom with a flashlight under the covers, hoping no one will realize I’m missing.
  • On the couch pretending to make a list of chores for the kids.
  • In the closet back behind a few rubbermaid containers claiming I am just “making the switch to the Spring clothes”.
  • In the kitchen making dishwashing sounds-oh hell no one is going to believe that one.
  • Inside the mountain of laundry with the camping lantern on the back porch.
  • In the car. (Interestingly enough, not in the garage because there are a few things preventing my car from fitting in there, including a bathtub.  I’m dead serious.)
  • On the toilet-duh.
  • In the basement, pretending to defrost the freezer, clean the dead mouse out of the furnace, and/or clean out the litterbox.

Meanwhile, I’m also dreaming up how I’m going to work the whole “poop roulette” thing into a post so that maybe I can be featured in the next one.  I can dream, right?

If you can’t wait for my review, and I am by no means telling you that you should (this IS me you know, I haven’t read a whole book since I had kids) then go to Amazon and take a look-see and order yourself up a fresh copy HERE.  And in case you’re wondering, I don’t get any credit for this.  BUT you can sure give me some brownie points by somehow working my name in there.  Something like writing in the review area there “Sarah from The Sadder But Wiser Girl, a fine humor writer (who ISN’T IN THIS BOOK and what a tragedy that is and should really be in the next one) recommended that I buy this book even though she hasn’t finished reading it herself yet…”

I begged for the book.  I have to find time to read it.  Think they'll find me back here?

I begged for the book. Now I have to find time to read it. Think they’ll find me back here?