Think you’re proud of your ride? Look out, because we’ve got something better. In addition to our 1999 Dodge Ram that doesn’t run, our 2003 Toyota Corolla with the front held together with a zip tie, and our new Nissan Altima, we have a zamboni.
It’s pure luxury-100% recycled, cardboard exterior with high quality waterbased marker detailing, quad cannons, paper plate steering wheel, and plush pillow pet interior. I bet you are so jealous!
I’m really not sure where the whole zamboni thing comes from. It might have been from an episode of Sesame Street or something. One thing is clear, she has no idea what a zamboni is, she just likes the word. Which is probably good, because I have never known a zamboni to have weaponry. This box actually started out as a puppet theater. She quickly grew tired of that, then it became a house for various animals in her bedroom, then a house for our cat (who was soooooo thrilled about that.) Finally the zamboni.
My house is currently overrun with art projects. I tried to keep up with them but she is an art machine. I really think she could run her very own site on Etsy and be able to keep up with demand. We have paintings galore with many different types of paint (tempera, watercolors), various sun catchers that I can’t find the hanger thingies for, sparklies glued on paper, drawings up the wazoo using different media (crayons, markers, colored pencils, chalk), masks, crowns, you name it she’s made it.
Some of the more recent projects include her bugs. The other day she told me she wanted to make a ladybug. Being the resourceful former preschool teacher that I am, I got construction paper, cut out the shapes, got googly eyes and then set out glue for her to glue it all together. She cut out the legs with shape scissors, and turned out the cutest ladybug ever. Then she wanted to make a butterfly. Again I cut out the parts for her, and even found sparkly shapes for her to stick to it so it would be sparkly. When she finished, I proudly displayed them on the wall. That lasted a whole two minutes.
“I need my bugs.” She demanded. “Why? Aren’t you finished?” I inquired. “No. I want to make them fly.”
It’s a good thing I took pictures of them, because she spent the next half hour running around the house, throwing them in the air to make them “fly”. I guess I can understand that. What good is art that you can’t have fun with?
Which brings me to the zamboni. It’s definitely a useful piece of art. You can sit in it and pretend to drive it-that’s useful! I can so see her father in her as she works on this project. It keeps getting bigger and bigger, but hopefully not out of control. The box is from an Amish grocery store that my family visits frequently. It’s very sturdy and it has these large holes on each side, which she determined were the perfect size to stick a toilet paper tube in. Hence the cannons. The steering wheel was my contribution. I had some of those brass paper thingies in my drawer-I poked a hole in the plate and the box and stuck it on that way. It actually turns-she was thrilled. Now she wants wheels. I told her I could only do wheels that look good, they won’t actually work. She’s not very happy with me about that. Even The Professor was intrigued. He walked around it, looking at it and studying it carefully. After a while, he asked if he could try it out. Shockingly she said yes. He barely fit, but he climbed in and sat anyway. Being an expert on superhero weaponry, I’m surprised he didn’t have some ideas for stuff she could add to it.
We’re running out of room for all of this art. I have artwork framed in the hallway. It’s on the side of the refrigerator. I made a display area in the living room. I’ve given art to relatives. She wants to do more, more, MORE! I’ve tried reasoning with her that we can display some of it, that we can’t keep everything. She disagrees. Grandma even bought her a folder to put her artwork in. She put drawings in it until it barely could shut.
I sat down to write this while she was eating breakfast and my hair was drying. Breakfast is done now, and she is on to doing some more art projects. This morning’s art is stenciling. After library, I’m sure she will try out the Crayola pastels I got on clearance at Walmart. It’s Crayola, so it’s got to be great, right?
If I turn up missing, don’t despair. Just come to my house and find me. I’ll be the one buried under all of the art projects.