Big Stuff

Finish the Sentence Friday

This is a post participating in Finish The Sentence Friday.  This week we had to finish the following sentence:  I once saw the biggest…

It was summer.  I had spent a hot day walking around with no real destination.  My stomach was rumbling, my mouth was dry, and I was exhausted.

Just when I was losing faith that was when I saw it.  I could see it through the windows of a nearby building.  It was big, it was brown, it was beautiful.  It was beckoning to me, calling me to come closer.  As I entered the room, it smelled wonderful.  Masses of people converged just to have a look at this magnificent sight!

All I wanted was a little taste. I wanted to be part of this like no other.  Just a little satisfaction and I’d be on my way, never to bother about it again… but alas I was denied.  Turned down, rejected…

That’s right, I once saw the biggest piece of chocolate I’ve ever seen in my entire life at the Iowa State Fair, and they wouldn’t let me have any.  😦

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Yep, there he is, all that chocolate. Surely there’s someone would split it with me?  Maybe with a big glass of milk…  Oh that’s right, you can have the milk-I’m lactose intolerant.

This was short and sweet. HAHA see what I did there?  Chocolate?  Sweet?

Speaking of big stuff, I now invite you to transport yourself to a magical world.  I’m part of a campaign designed to try to get the dictator for life back into the driver’s seat over at The Adventures of a Misplaced Alaskan.  Terrye has been missing in action in the blogging world for quite some time and it’s time for her to start planning her triumphant return.  I offer up ten reasons why she needs to do so.  Please click HERE  to come over and snoop around.  It’s okay to check the medicine cabinet, but be careful!

Finish the Sentence Friday is hosted by the following princesses of blog land:

Kristi of Finding Ninee

Kate of Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine With My Quiet Time?

Stephanie of Mommy Is For Real

Janine of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyholic

(A little aside before I go:  this was supposed to go live this morning. Apparently you have to actually hit  an extra button before anything happens on WordPress.  Duh.  You’d think I’d learn that after four or five times.)

The Totally Tubular Story Of Tie-Dye Girl and Her Amazing Rubber Chicken

secret

Welcome to this month’s edition of The Secret Subject Swap, Take 2!  Presented to you by the lovely Karen of Baking in a Tornado, it all begins with participating bloggers sending in top secret prompts ahead of time.  Each blogger is then assigned one of these prompts and the resulting posts are all shared at the same time!

My prompt:  You had a horrendous day with your family. You argued with everyone even after you got a call from your son’s principal regarding his bad behavior. After a couple of glasses of wine, you fall asleep ready to start over tomorrow.  The next morning, no one was home. Everyone gone. No note, just looks like they disappeared.  What do you do?

It was submitted by: http://www.100lbCountdown.com

So be afraid, be very afraid of what I’m about to do with this one:

I woke up that morning with a pounding headache, laying across my bed, still in my clothes from the night before.  It took me several minutes to fully realize that I was awake, and that I hadn’t even bothered to get under the covers.  I knew I was exhausted last night, and the wine didn’t help, but this was a bit extreme.

That wasn’t all that was amiss.  My husband wasn’t there either.

“That’s funny.”  I thought, “Usually he sleeps in on the weekend.”

I walked downstairs, fully expecting to see my husband sitting in the chair with his laptop and both kids watching Saturday morning cartoons.  But no one was around.  Not even the animals.  It was like the whole world had disappeared.

Just like in the movies.

Had the world ended and I missed it?

Was the world ending?  I should have realized the signs... The cats within feet of each other?  Apocalypse is nigh...

Was the world ending? I should have realized the signs:  The cats within feet of each other? Apocalypse is nigh…

I made my way to the back porch and opened the door.  The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and I could hear the neighbor kids plain as day.

So much for that theory.  The world was still there.

I got a lump in my throat.  I tried to remember what exactly had started the argument the night before.  There was a phone call from the school.  The principal.  Something about a note.  The Professor was in serious trouble.  Evil Genius was livid.  And The Princess was not liking that someone else was taking the limelight from her.

I was upset, and the wine went down easily.  It was all blurry after that, and I barely remember going into the bedroom to lie down.

And now it was so hard to think… especially with that loud whirring sound.  Wait a minute-that whirring sound, WHERE WAS IT COMING FROM?

I followed it to the basement door.  The secret passage.  I had always wanted wanted a house with a secret passage.  Evil Genius had come through and made pantry shelves that swung open in place of the door. Being an old house, the uneven floor and plaster walls made it not quite so secret.  But it was stuck!

Pushing with all of my weight, I was able to slide the shelves aside.  I peered into the dark.  Dammit, the light wouldn’t work.  I grabbed the lantern and headed down into the darkness.

The whirring sound grew louder as I approached the brick wall.  But there was nothing there but the crawlspace.  That icky, gross place under the house where the basement stopped.  It was nothing but dirt and bugs.  But the sound was driving me crazy, and somehow I knew that it must have something to do with my family vanishing.

I crawled up on the freezer and put my hand upon the wood. Only it didn’t feel like wood.  It felt like… nothing.  I pushed my hand through until I could not see my arm any more. I pulled back in horror-what was going on?  Was this some sort of weird joke?  I pushed forward again, this time with both hands and the rest of my body. And I fell forward right into the nothingness.  And smacked my face hard against the floor.  Because putting my arms out to stop myself would make sense.

After a moment of lying there upon the cold floor, I sat up and opened my eyes.

Instead of that icky, dirty, buggy space there was a room.  Not just any room, like a command center.  Like a batcave.  Or that super secret room they won’t ever let you see at Target.

A voice boomed out of the shadows “Welcome back Tie-Dye Girl!  We thought you were going to sleep all day.”

I turned, very slowly, only to come face to face with…nothing.

“Huh?  I don’t know what you’re talking about!”  I replied.

The voice sounded very annoyed.  “Really?  Again?  Do we have to go over this EVERY TIME????”  Roger, we really need to quit using the brain eraser on our agents.”

“Ummmm… brain eraser?”  That would explain so very much about my life…

I heard a very loud sigh from, well, WHEREVER that voice was coming from.  Mumbling, angry whispering. “We’re giving you the short version.  We’re facing a world crisis and all reserve super agents have been activated.  That includes you and the agents assigned to you that also happen to be your family.”

“World crisis?” I inquired.

“A caffeine and chocolate shortage of massive proportions.  It seems that . Your son, The Professor, intercepted a message that was meant for the Evil Genius yesterday.”

“Wait a minute.  My husband is the Evil Genius.”

“No he’s actually the Not So Evil Genius.  The name just stuck.  The actual Evil Genius is somebody else.”

Suddenly things were starting to fall into place.  Sort of.  “So my family isn’t missing? They’re saving the world?”

” No ma’am they are assisting the people saving the world.”  The voice replied.

“I can’t say that I’m really understanding what you’re telling me.”

“You have a job to do. YOU have to stop the madness.  You’re our only hope.”

That’s when it hit me.  “Oh.My.God.  I’m an Avenger.”

I heard something that sounded like a forehead being smacked.  And then laughter.  Lots of laughter.  As a matter of fact, the laughter went on for about ten minutes.

“Actually, not quite.  Here’s the story.  Someone gave Tony Stark a magic mirror for his birthday, he’s so busy looking at himself that he won’t answer his phone. Thor had to attend some hair product convention because Fabio backed out at the last minute.  Captain America has been trying so hard to catch up to modern day technology that he discovered the internet and we can’t drag him away.  He muttered something about games called ‘Bejeweled Blitz’ and ‘Candy Crush’ when we talked to him.  The Hulk is in an anger management session.  Black Widow is nowhere to be found.  And nobody cares about Hawkeye.  So yeah, you’re it.  So get into uniform and await your instructions.”

“So I guess it’s up to me.”  After rummaging around for several minutes, I found my superhero outfit:

Protecting the earth from evil by dying them hideous shades of tie-dye!  Look up in the sky, it's a peacock, it's a rainbow, it's TIE-DYE GIRL!

Protecting the earth from evil by dying them hideous shades of tie-dye! Look up in the sky, it’s a peacock, it’s a rainbow, it’s TIE-DYE GIRL!

“Take this rubber chicken and place it at these coordinates.  This will disable the caffeine sucking machine and restore the world to its natural balance.”

“That’s it?  I was really hoping for something a bit more, um, interesting.”

“Dammit Tie-Dye Girl, do you really want to exist in a world where this is no caffeine OR chocolate?  We’re losing precious time!  Not to mention that the rest of your family would really like to be done with dishwashing duty.  You are welcome to switch places with one of them if you wish.”

“Okay”  I said quickly.  “Give me the rubber chicken.”

The next thing I knew I was transported to the most vile place on the face of the Earth.  A place where few venture into and even fewer make it out of alive. Yes, I was in the Wal-Mart bathroom.

From the middle stall emerged a man who looked remarkably like Dermot Mulrooney.  Or was it Dylan McDermott?  “Tie-dye Girl.  So we meet again.”

Again?  We’d met before?  I stood staring at the guy for a really long time.  A REALLY long time.  This was because I couldn’t remember his name.  Was it the memory eraser or was it just my brain?  Dang it he really looked familiar too.  And what was I supposed to do????

Then I heard a voice in my head “Remember the rubber chicken.  Use the rubber chicken…”

So I closed my eyes, and threw the chicken over his head.  Whatever force the was guiding me wedged that rubber chicken smack in the middle of the spinning caffeine sucking machine.  It stopped the machine dead.  Right there in the Wal-Mart bathroom…

The world rejoiced.  The Avengers were so thankful that they took me to the movies.  It was the dollar movie and I’d seen it before, but it was really cool getting to hang out with actual superheroes.  And Starbucks was so thrilled that they gave me a lifetime supply of free frappucinos.

And my family?  Back home and off of dirty dish duty. Until the next time I need to save the world.  I hear there may be a wine shortage.  Nooooooooooooooooooooooo…

IMG_1205

And of course in celebration I enjoyed some wine with my favorite superhero…

Now see what other talented bloggers have written!  Here are the other participants in this month’s swap take 2: 

http://www.menopausalmom.com                                Menopausal Mother

http://BakingInATornado.com                            Baking In A Tornado

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com             Evil Joy Speaks

http://www.100lbCountdown.com                      100lb Countdown

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                   Follow me home . .

http://dinoheromommy.com/                  Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/     Stacy Sews and Schools

http://thisisdiscoveringme.wordpress.com/              Discovering Me 

http://www.itsyummi.com                                      It’s Yummilicious

http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                         Dates 2 Diapers

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.com/     Confessions of a part-time working mom

Weekly Wrap-Up: The Rainy Itchy Edition

You can hear this being said in our house any time there's rain the forecast.  That and "Oh nooooo."

You can hear this being said in our house any time there’s rain the forecast. That and “Oh nooooo.”  Thank you Family Guy.

I for one am glad May is done!  I think we saw every type of weather imaginable last month.  Snow, cold, sweltering heat, torrential rain, severe thunderstorms, tornadoes.  The last week was particularly maddening with having to be stuck inside for an entire holiday weekend due to torrential rain.  Last year we had drought, this year we have flooding.  What gives?

Welcome To June.  So far I have been spending it trying not to itch my head.  Don’t worry, no head lice or anything like that here.  Just more complications from my ever lovely neck and head stuff that’s going on.  I won’t gross you out with the details…

My cat refuses to use a scratching post, she uses a wooden banister post.

My cat refuses to use a scratching post, she uses a wooden banister post instead.

I will, however, let you know what I did this week, just in case you were wondering.

Monday Memorial Day Oversharing  I was so tickled to participate in the Oversharing series at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion for many reasons, in particular I think Stephanie is the bomb and I got a day off!

Tuesday Twisted Mixtape Tuesday: Car Tunes  A list of what I belt out in the car, complete with videos.

Wednesday Wordless Wednesday: Wonder  One of my all time favorite pictures of my little girl.

Thursday  Lots of Pain, So Far No Gain  I thought I was so cool agreeing to co-host a blog hop with friends.  Apparently I do not know what to do to co-host a blog hop.  Neither do I know what to do about my pain…  Not that there isn’t always great stuff written for Theme Thursday, but this particular one had some very entertaining posts!  This week’s theme was what drives you crazy.

save the earth

I was out of chocolate and I was miserable. Not a good combination, which added to the crazy. And this meme made me laugh.

Friday FTSF: Favorite 80s Movies  I was supposed to pick my favorite movie of all time.  No way I could choose.  My list was long, then I narrowed it down to a few of the best from the 80s.  I got such great feedback from this that I’m thinking about writing a sequel.

Stuff I Really Liked This Week

10 Bad Father’s Day Gifts for 2013Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva She truly has the best gift lists!  I bet you can’t wait to run out and buy some bacon bedding!

I know there was other stuff that I really enjoyed, but this week has been such a blur that I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning…

Best and Most Disturbing Search Terms

Naket Grils We don’t have none uh them naket ones.

Life is short naked-Short naked WHAT?  Tell me!  Don’t leave me in suspense!

Hypnotized pee pants giggle I really want to know what’s behind this one.

Recorded deaths from caffeine withdrawal People seriously google this stuff????

I wear glasses now So do I.  ????

Next Week

I start Physical Therapy, so hopefully I will be back to my somewhat amusing self in no time… I’m pledging the fifth for the most part on what I’m doing this next week, though I do solemnly swear that Friday will be my latest Secret Subject Swap post.  YIPPEE!

Maybe this is the type of exercise that will help me?

Maybe this is the type of exercise that will help me?

 

Theme Thursday: Lots of Pain, So Far No Gain

Theme ThursdayTheme Thursday is a magical place where dreams come true.  All the magic is brought to you by Jenn from Something Clever 2.0.

This week’s theme was to write about what drives you crazy.

Crazy is right.  I feel absolutely nuts about now.

I have eluded to the fact that I’ve been in a lot of agony lately.  I don’t like to say a whole lot, because I don’t want to come off a complainer.  Trust me on this one, and don’t listen to a word my husband says about there always something being wrong with me.  He thinks he’s being funny, you know.

I’ve had a stiff, painful neck on one side for months, and it finally got so bad that I went in and got it looked at.  I’ve now been in there threee times.  Appointment #1-It’s stress and all in my head.  Appointment #2-I got X-rays and oh that was FUN. My spine is fine, thanks for asking.  Appointment #3-I don’t have shingles and it’s not going away on its own.

I’m sure I look like I’m possessed the way I’m walking around rolling my head these days.  I’m trying to unkink my neck, even though I know it’s not going to help.  It hurts like holy heck.  Add to that the newest member of the pain family:  The head.  Whichever part of my body decided that this was a funny joke can really just knock it off now!  Really?  A million pin pricks of hot pain on my scalp?  That’s real funny.  Not.

You find this funny?  I don't, because I'm completely out of chocolate.

You find this funny? I don’t, because I’m completely out of chocolate.

As one would expect, this is a huge challenge for someone who is considered a humor writer.  It’s put a great big giant Charley Horse in my style.  Although I’ve managed to maintain somewhat of a sense of humor during all of this, I feel like a horrible mom and wife.  I’m crabby because I hurt so bad and don’t sleep well.  I can do very little around the house.  I’m sure that my husband and kids would like to auction me off very cheaply about now.  Or at least trade me in for a mom without body issues.This past Sunday I felt totally useless as I lay on the couch and my family pitched in to do everything that I have been neglecting around the house.  It was literally all I could do.  I’m so happy that they stepped up-I fall somewhere between bad and terrible when it comes to housecleaning and maintenance as it is.  This is not helping my image!

I think I’d feel about the same as I would if were to lean on a cactus…  Or maybe I’d feel better?  I’ve shared my pain with a few of the people I talk to regularly.  My blogging friends in particular have been wonderful-I’ve received plenty of advice on things I can try:

Acupuncture:  It’s needles.  IT’S NEEDLES!  Noooo!  I’m deathly afraid of anything with a needle. No wonder I don’t sew.

Supplements:  I really would like to take some, but I already take a multivitamin and I’m skeered of growing an extra head.  One that would hurt just as much as the one I have.

It would be like the cars.com commercial but scarier...

It would be like the cars.com commercial but scarier…

Massage:  Hell yeah!  Who wants to give me one?  Actually, Evil Genius has stepped up nicely in the department, but he can’t do much about my head.

Alternative Medicine:  I’ve had all kinds of wonderful stuff suggested to me that I’ve never heard of before, and that unfortunately aren’t available here in corn country.

Chocolate Therapy:  I understand that chocolate goes quite well with vicodin.

Alcoholism:  Maybe a glass or two, but I really like my liver, thanks.

I personally think that if I were to cut myself in half I might actually feel better.  I’d look pretty weird though.

As I said, we’ve tried to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing.  Evil Genius has made sure to make plenty of jokes at my expense.  Some of them were even funny. He’s had his own pain to deal with-his knee is going to explode any day now.  Some snippets of things said at my house this week:

“You said you wanted to tighten up. I can’t help it if you’re an overachiever.”

“Come over here and put your neck against my knee.  Maybe we can cancel out each other’s pain.”

The doctor referred me to physical therapy, FINALLY.  She said I needed deep tissue massage and a few rounds with the TENS machine.  Unfortunately I have to wait until Monday to get any relief.  I’m really hoping it helps.  I’d really hate to feel like this for the rest of my life!

Have you ever been in pain that just wouldn’t quit?  What did you end up doing for it?  Did anything work (or are you still in pain)?  I’d love to hear your story, however depressing or funny it is…

lost itPlease be sure to see what drives other bloggers batty by clicking on the Theme Thursday link at the top!

I’m doing double duty this week by cohosting the Tattler Thursday blog hop.  I’m a blog hop virgin, so I’m not really sure what I’m doing…  We can’t get the links to work, so I’m plugging it sans links for now.  If you’d like to link up, please visit The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps and/or CHill Thoughts to link up your post!

Hostess

The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps

Co-Hostess

Co-Hostess

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

Awards! I Got Awards!

Oh you meant “A-Wards”, not “Wards”…

I got an award!  Then I got another award!  All right, I’ll try it.  I’m never good at these thingies.  And as I have discovered, this is a LOT of work!  Let’s see here…

The Beautiful Blogger Award

First up we have the Beautiful Blogger Award. I’m assuming it refers to the blog itself, and not the writer?  What?  Yes to both?  Ok.

I was nominated for the Beautiful Blogger award by momtimes4, a blog that I thoroughly enjoy reading every day!  She takes all the little things that happen in her house and draws cute little illustrations to go with them.  If you’re a Mom, whether you have two or six, you’ll be able to relate to these little stories and pictures!

Beautiful Blogger Award Rules:

The idea behind the Beautiful Blogger Award is to recognize some of the bloggers we follow for their hard work and inspiration.

1. Copy the Beautiful Blogger Award logo and place it in your post.

2. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.

3. Tell 7 things about yourself.

4. Nominate 7 other bloggers for their own Beautiful Blogger Award, and comment on their blogs to let them know.

7 things about myself (I hope they don’t have to be interesting!)

1.  I am the daughter of a Navy Submariner.  I grew up all over.  I was born in Maine and wound up in Iowa, where my parents are from.  We moved back here when I was 15.  I haven’t been able to get away since.  Somewhere there is a giant tractor beam holding me in here!

2.  I am a geek.  Challenge me to a game of Star Wars trivia and I will kick your behind.

3.  I have two children, ages 4 and 7.  I also have a husband and a black cat who both hate people.  And a dog that doesn’t hate people at all.

4.  If I had better fundage (is that a word?)  I would return to vegetarianism and buy all of my food at the local co-op that I’m a member of.  It is the best smelling place in the whole wide world.  I’m the one who shops there and cries because the only thing I can afford to buy there are spices and some of the bulk foods.  Someday…

5.  I don’t have a job at the moment due to no fault of my own (and it sounds like I’m not alone).  Since I already have a degree, the next step is naturally going to get my Masters in SOMETHING.  Naturally, I don’t have any clue what it would be in.  My interests lie in writing, wellness and health, nutrition, and all of that jazz.  Someday I hope to figure out what would best suit me.  And then win the lottery so I can afford to go to school.

6.  I love NASCAR.  I even got to go to a race this year.

7.  If it’s not chocolate or caffeinated, I probably don’t consume it regularly.  I’m trying to change that…

Ok, enough of that-now the best part is that I get to nominate seven other people whose blogs I thoroughly enjoy!  The only bad part of this is that I have to CHOOSE.  And I’m assuming that I can only choose WordPress blogs?  And I know how some of you feel about the awards on here (Becca at Lady Or Not, that’s why you’re not on this list or I would SOOOOO nominate you!)

Atlantamomofthree– She JUST got this award.  Now she’s getting it again, because she’s awesome.

Motherhood Is An Art-I love this blog.  One lovely Mommy to three lovely children.  Her son Bency cracks me up!

Adrea In Wonderland-This is one of the first blogs I followed on WordPress. She is just a neat person, and posts some really interesting stuff.  If you are a C.S. Lewis fan you’ll appreciate all of the Alice in Wonderland references.

My Brain on Kids-Funny Lady.  She is Adam Levine’s future girlfriend, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Cloudy, With A Chance of Wine-Funny Mom, fellow wine lover.

Highly Irritable Blog-Not only does she write the funny stuff, she writes some wonderful stories as well.

Marj Hatzell is The Domestic Goddess-She claims to give Stay-At-Home Moms a bad name.  She does anything but.

 

The Liebster Blog Award

This was awarded to me by Valerie over at Atlantamomofthree.  And I agree, I thought it said Lobster Award when I first saw it too.

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers by bloggers. It is a way of acknowledging each other and is for blogs with 200 or less followers. This is also a great way to spread the word about smaller blogs and get them more readers and followers!  When you receive the award, you post 11 random facts about yourself and answer 11 questions from the person who nominated you. You pass the award onto 11 other blogs (make sure you tell them you nominated them!) and ask them 11 questions. You are not allowed to nominate the blog who nominated you!

11 Random Facts about Me:

I despise crunchy vegetables, except for sweet bell peppers.  See my next fact for why that is so ironic.

I was a vegetarian for many years, and a vegan for a year while they tried to figure out why I was covered with an eczema type rash, why certain types of food made me sick, and why I was doubled over with stomach pain (nothing was ever figured out, other than the rash)

I have a famous friend, Marcus Collins of the Texas Tenors (The gorgeous blonde).  We went to college together. He is the sweetest person in the whole world, and he IS as genuine as he seems.  If you didn’t watch America’s Got Talent the season they went to the finals, you should take some time and check them out.  What they do is unique, and great stuff to listen to!  I also shook Ana Gasteyer’s hand once, but we’re not friends.

I went to school to be a music teacher-I have had to at least learn the basics for every basic band/orchestra instrument there is.  I found out that it was NOT my lot in life to be a brass player (I guess I kind of knew that already).  It sounds more like a dying cow than music…

People I hope to meet someday: Ellen Degeneres!  I am a huge fan of hers!  I’d also like to meet Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters, Seth McFarlane, George Lucas, Demetri Martin, and Michelle Obama.  And a lot of the bloggers I follow I’d love to meet in person for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.  Contact me if you’re interested.  *wink*

I don’t sleep.  At least not without assistance.

When I was in 4th grade, the band teacher told my mother I had no musical talent whatsoever.

I am so allergic to certain plants that my eyes swell shut if I smell them. I know one of them is a type of evergreen, but there are other mystery plants.

I wear tie-dye most days of the week.  I don’t know why.  I just like it.  I also have lots of things with mandalas and yoga-type stuff on them.

As a child, I was such a picky eater that I would only take pb&j sandwiches in my lunches.

When I had my daughter, I couldn’t walk for a long time because somehow my pelvis was out of alignment,  and still to this day I do not have full range of motion in my neck.  So you can say that she is a pain in the neck, literally.

The 11 Nominees (Please don’t be offended if you have more than 200 followers! Not everyone shows the number of followers on their blog, and I still think you deserve an award even if you have more than 200!!) :D  I tried and tried to find 11 blogs that I follow on WordPress that had less than 200 and I was wildly unsuccessful.  That says something for the blogs on here, that you all are AWESOME!  And if I nominated you and you’re not into this type of thing, just ignore this and go on with your life.  So here are the ones that I nominated:

MomTimes4-One of the bestest blogs outs there!  Illustrations of everyday family life.  Funny!  If you’re a parent you’ll find something that you can relate to here!

Front Range Scribbles-A blog that everyone can relate to because it’s about a little of everything.  Plus fantastic photos!

Sky Blue With Daisies– Check out her art.  I think she’s great!

Dancing In The Rain-Living life with chronic illness and a fabulous attitude!

ADDadultstrategies-If you’re ADD this blog is a great resource.

Bug Bytes-Another fun blog from a Mom!

Naptime WritingMoms unite!!!

The Flat Broke Blog-Show this girl some love.  She’s back on the cheese line.

11 Questions for me

~Would you rather live where they have mild winters and very hot summers, or have freezing winters and mild summers?

Freezing winters and mild summers.  I hate to be hot.  And you can always put more clothes/blankets on when you’re cold, but you can only take so much off when you’re hot!

~If you had to choose a different decade to live in for one month from 1900-1990, which would you choose? Why?

The 1960s.  I am very interested in that time period!

~Do you have children? How many?

Yes, I have two.

~Where you live are there more cars than bikes? Do you own a bike?

Cars.  I do own a bike.  I used to bike everywhere.  Another unfortunate side effect of having children.

~What is one thing you are really proud of that you’ve learned how to do as an adult? (Mine is juggling!!)

How to make good food out of a few cheap ingredients.

~What is your favorite fiction book?

The Princess Bride by William Goldman.  And I read it BEFORE I saw the movie, thank you very much!

~If you found $1000 cash on a ride at an amusement park, what would you do?

Take it to the lost and found, of course!

~What is your favorite kind of music to listen to?

Ooooo… I’m probably on a special list.  I don’t really have just one favorite.  If you were to somehow hack into my Ipod, you’d find a little of everything.

~What do you think is the best way to spend a Saturday night?

A long walk under a full moon, then watch a good movie

~Would you rather spend a week in the mountains or on a beach? Why?

In the mountains.  Quiet, many hiking opportunities, and you can’t beat that scenery!

~Do you do Pinterest? Want to share your link?

Yes I do.  And yes I will!

11 Questions for the Nominees:

-What is the neatest place you have ever visited and why?

-Favorite kind of pet?

-If you could only eat one food for a whole year, what would it be?

-Who is (or was) your celebrity crush?

-What genre of movie do you enjoy the most?

-If there was one thing that you could do that you can’t right now, what would it be and why?  (I would go back to school, and take cello lessons)

-Do you have a hobby that you enjoy?

-If you could invite influential, famous, or just people you admire over for dinner, who would you invite?

-What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

-If you were given $10,000 and were told you had to give away half of it to help someone, who would you give it to?

-What led you to start blogging?

Ok, that’s all I’ve got!  Happy reading/answering and so forth!!!!

Let the Holidays Commence!

I do.

This is what I’ve been looking forward to-the next few weeks will most likely be an unending stream of idea diarrhea.  The stuff just keeps flowing because I love the holidays. Christmas is one of my very favorite times of the year.  Despite all of the poopy stuff we have going on (SHINY PENNIES FOR CHRISTMAS!  SHINY PENNIES FOR CHRISTMAS!) I am determined I am going to delight in the things that I love most for the next month.  Here are all of the reasons why I love this time of year so much.

1)  Excuses to watch my favorite movies.  What honey?  You said you want to see “ELF”?  Well let me pop it in.  No movie makes me smile as much as that one.

There is nothing funnier than this…

2)  CHRISTMAS MUSIC!  I like the older music.  I’m not a big fan of most of the newer stuff.  My parents had the original Time Life Christmas records.  The best music ever.  I thought I had found it on CD a few years back, but it wasn’t the same.  I’m still looking for the recording of Jack Jones singing “Do You Hear What I Hear?”  Can’t find it anywhere!  I love Handel’s Messiah, and of course I couldn’t be a band geek without mentioning Sleigh Ride.  I have a story about that, you’ll hear it later this month.

3)  Christmas lights They are even supposed to be up and lit this time of year!  It’s so much fun to drive around and see all of the different displays people have in their yards and on their houses.  We never decorate the outside of our house, so it’s especially fun to see what others have come up with.

I must admit I’ve never seen anything like this yet!

4)  The goodies.  I’m not going to lie and say that I won’t worry about how much I’m consuming, because I will.  But when else do you get to eat so many homemade goodies.  I hope to make some this year.  I want to try to make the big pretzels dipped in chocolate.  YUM!

I’ve never made these. Maybe I should!

5)  Wrapping paper.  I love beautiful wrapping paper adorned with ribbon and bows.  One year I used wide gauzy ribbon to wrap all the packages for the growm-ups.  I just love the way they look under the tree.  I may be wrapping empty boxes this year but dammit they will be pretty!!!!

Not pretty, but quite useful.

6)  Creative decorations. Oh darn, I have to spend lots of time on Pinterest finding ideas for decorating.  Breaks my heart.  This year I’m looking for ideas for a new wreath.  Ours was looking pretty shabby last year.  I’m thinking jingle bells and ball ornaments.  We’ll see what I come up with!

Hmmmmm…

7)  The Wonder of It All.  My kids are at very fun ages.  It’s all so magical to them.  I know that they are most concerned about what they are getting on the big day, but they are so excited about everything.  The next few weeks we will see time and time again what we refer to in my family as “The Christmas Eyes”.  I will find pictures of my sister and I with our Christmas eyes on, and will post them.  I see these on my kids every year.

See? Christmas eyes!

So keep an eye out for all of my crazy posts.  I have drafts galore lined up for the next few days!  To paraphrase my daughter:  “Let the holidays COMMENCE!”

I’ve Been Married 4745 Days: How Did We Do That?

TV relationship most like ours. But my husband is much smarter than Tim Taylor.

“Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.” -Albert Einstein

We’ve been together awhile.  Every so often I want my husband to know that I still like him.  I actually wrote him an appreciation letter the other day.  It wasn’t a love letter, though I did tell him I loved him a few times in it.  It was just more me letting him know how much I appreciate him.

Evil Genius and I will be married for thirteen years today.  As I’ve said before, according to tradition it’s the lace anniversary.  Whatever.  I don’t need doilies.  We’re still happily married.  I’m not saying it’s been easy.  The last few years have been particularly challenging for us due to all kinds of weird work situations, his return to school and subsequent graduation, and difficult children.  Lately he has become an excellent zombie due to working long hours, two hours a day on the road for work in addition to those long hours, and a brain full of information and ideas that he can’t ignore.  Meanwhile, I am climbing the walls because I’m home all day and sleep until 7 am.  Nonetheless, I still love him to pieces.  Supposedly he loves me, but it’s hard to show it when you are too tired to move or disseminate information.

How will we be celebrating our anniversary?  We went out for a bit the other night.  Just the two of us without any children.  He’s working today, tonight we’ll probably cook something for dinner and hang out.  And hopefully he’ll be able to stay conscious.

Just in a show of appreciation for us, I think the dog tried to chew a red rubbermaid lid in the shape of a heart.  I’m going with that and ignoring the 17 other things he chewed up.

I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to write today.  In honor of our anniversary, here’s some random thoughts about our relationship:

You really CAN meet someone at a bar.  Believe me, I tried other venues.

If we didn’t have each other, I’d never know where I’d seen an actor/actress before and he would never know what their name is.

We’re both ADD, but man does it manifest itself in very different ways.

We’re an interesting couple. Here’s another one of our favorite TV couples. Who doesn’t love Monica and Chandler. They’re dysfunctional like us, I think that’s why I like them.

We both think the same things when we see something, but he usually says it first, and better than I thought it.  I tell him to stop.

Opposites can attract, but you have to some similar interests and values.  Our personalities are quite different, but we both have an outrageous sense of humor, love movies and music, and appreciate good food.  We don’t always want to watch the same movies, or eat the same kind of food, but we try to be flexible.

We’re not perfect.  Noooooooooooooo….  I wish he would not be so distracted and he wishes I would relax a little.  Ok, a lot.

He reacts to emotional moments in movies.  I’m dead inside when it comes to that, but I cry easily at real life…

“You are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky, without you, I dwell in darkness…” Are you puking yet? Don’t worry, our relationship is NOT like that.

I wish football would go on strike.  He wishes it was year round.

We both think chocolate is one of the food groups.

He thinks pain is weakness leaving the body, I am a complete and total wuss.  Once he had to hold me down and pull a giant splinter out of me because I was too weenieish to take it out myself.

I guess I’m still a romantic at heart. I love watching these two in the Iron Man movies. It works for them, probably because these two people are so full of themselves in real life…

So Happy Anniversary to my husband.  I hope he keeps me around for another one.

“All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” -Charles M Schulz

Pure Evil in a Small Jar

It’s just like eating chocolate frosting. Why won’t anyone share the evil with me?

Dear People of Our Small Town:

My son may look like he is starving to death, but I assure you that we do try to feed him.  But as they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.  Especially if there is recess involved.

My son won’t eat his lunch at school.  Him not eating isn’t unusual, but lunch is a meal that he traditionally actually eats, because it tends to be things that he doesn’t have weird issues with-sandwiches, etc.  The last two years we have either been on reduced price or free lunches, so it has been cheaper for him to eat the school hot lunch.  This year we supposedly have more money (we don’t), therefore we don’t qualify for assistance on this.  Which is fine-I send him a lunch every day, and it’s much healthier than what they serve.  He thinks I’m killing him.  I’m not totally mean, I do let him eat there once a week, usually when it’s pizza day or something like that. But the rest of the time it’s stuff from home.

Every day he comes home with a lunch that is barely touched.  It’s not like I’m sending stuff he hates.  I send sandwiches or wraps, usually either meat and cheese or peanut butter.  He likes peanut butter, he just tries to avoid it at all costs.  He’s weird in that he won’t eat jelly on it.  What kid doesn’t like peanut butter and jelly?  I subsisted on pb & j lunches every day for years and I was perfectly happy.

Recently I’ve discovered something that’s really good: peanut butter and honey-oooooooh, it’s delightful. Now I’m hungry.  What was I talking about again?

Oh yes, my son the slow and oh so picky eater. I emailed his teacher about it.  I’m not one of THOSE parents who expects the teacher to parent my child, but he had told me that he didn’t have time to eat his lunch because he had his small group reading right afterwards and he didn’t want to be late.  I was suspicious.  His teacher confirmed my suspicion, he had recess right after lunch, not reading, and he was welcome to stay in during recess to finish.  I didn’t push it, because I didn’t want her babysitting him when she could be doing her own stuff.  I’m not concerned necessarily that he isn’t eating as much as I am that if he doesn’t eat it could affect his behavior due to him being hungry. He has enough behavior issues on certain days (he’s on an IEP for his ADD and behavior), I don’t want to make it worse.  He has really good days, and not so good days, but there’s not exactly any rhyme or reason to them.

He does supposedly finish his lunch when it was a school lunch.  Maybe he just didn’t like the stuff enough that I was sending.  He always finishes his milk, which is a dream come true because they can have chocolate milk, EVERY DAY if they want.  I remember when I was a kid, we only got chocolate milk on Friday.  Kids are so spoiled!

My Mom had a great idea when she was up visiting.  What about trying nutella?  It’s supposed to be healthy.  I had never thought about it because it was hazelnut and I assumed it tasted like coffee.  Oh no it doesn’t-it tastes like chocolate frosting!  It is wonderful!

Shockingly the kids won’t touch it.  They have both tried it and said that they liked it, but every time I serve it, they don’t eat it.  I, however, can’t stay out of it.  All 210 calories a serving and 29 grams of sugar.  I spread it on a tortilla, I put it on bread, I put in on graham crackers, heck I eat it right off the knife.  I thought my peanut butter craving was bad-this is worse.  It’s pure evil in a small jar.  I’ve gone to the dark side, and it’s made of hazelnuts.

I personally will make sure that this jar disappears and I will save my family from that delicious pure evil… now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to the dark side with my spoon.

My Road is Unpaved… No Intentions Happening Here

I am so full of good intentions.

Every evening I seem to have such good plans for the next day.  Get up an hour before the kids and do yoga.  Get out first thing after getting my son off to school for a walk with the dog and daughter.  Exercise during PBSKids.  Read more of a book.  Apply for 60 jobs.  Stay off of Facebook.  Only drink one or two caffeinated beverages.  Make homemade baked treats and prep a healthy dinner.  Reorganize the house.  I make lists of what I need to do.  Sometimes I even meticulously plan what I am going to eat the next day in the losing battle against my non existent willpower.

And then I go to bed.  For the record, I don’t look like a man when I sleep.  I just really like this picture and this movie.

Sometime in the night I think something comes in and sucks out my brains.  Or melts them.  (BTTF reference #2, thank you very much).

The next morning I blearily stagger out of bed at the exact time my son needs to get up for school.  My daughter bounces out of bed at that exact same moment.  I prepare breakfast half asleep and then doze off on the couch after my son leaves.  I may get off the couch and put clothes on by 9 am-yoga pants and a t-shirt.  I can’t find the lists.  I let my daughter watch PBS all morning.  I might get the walk in, but I probably won’t.  I haven’t showered in days.  No baking or reading of any kind occurs.  Each time I reach for the weights some sort of catastrophe occurs involving insert name here.  I eat a whole box of Kraft mac and cheese for lunch plus a handful of M&Ms.  I consume more caffeine than a human should possibly be able to tolerate.  Supper is whatever takes the least amount of time (usually some sort of pasta).  I spend half the day checking Facebook.  I apply for no jobs because the three that looked halfway interesting I wasn’t the least bit qualified for.

(Not…gonna…happen…)

Yeah, this is my world.  And then each night comes around and I start all over again, being optimistic and stuff…

…And look there’s that road of good intentions again.  UNPAVED!