Deck the Halls With Lots of Vomit, Fa La La La La…

Did you miss me the last few days?  Do you feel like I kind of left you hanging there?

Let’s review…

Previously on The Sadder But Wiser Girl…

Sewer grossness be gone!  (Because I have to put this picture in whenever I can…)

We last left our sort of heroine counting her blessings after the sewer backed up into her basement and left behind an odor similar to what one can only imagine the bog of eternal stench would smell like.

I was a little busy, but I managed to keep writing some stuff.

Enter the family Christmas this past weekend:  A little more than twenty four hours spent doing Christmas with two different families two and a half hours away from home.  Plus a visit to a third on the way home. Busy, busy, busy.

My stomach was rumbly.  I figured it was just all of the fish chowder I ate.  Or stress.  Or lack of sleep.  Or kids.  Or that I’m crazy.  I downed a Coke or two or seven and ignored it.

And while we were doing Christmas we received quite a few gifts.  However we got one additional one that we were not expecting.  A wonderful group of people in the blogging world got together to help us out in our time of stinkiness by making sure that we didn’t have to wait until after the fact to celebrate our Christmas day at home.  It’s something that I’ll never forget.

Again, for the zillionth time, thank you my friends.

Thanks to this thoughtful gift, the Monday after our weekend jaunt was spent at Target getting the presents that we had been putting off.  Even though I’d been up all night the night before with a stomachache, I was dead tired, and I felt like my food had been sitting at the bottom of my throat for two days, I was going to get my shopping finished!

As it turns out, I was pretty much spot on.  After I finished all of my shopping, I topped it off by puking for five minutes in the store bathroom.  Pretty much everything I had eaten the past day or two.  Isn’t that magical?  I’m sure that the people in the bathroom who heard me making sounds like I was dying thought so.

Then I came home and slept and puked and slept and puked in a vicious cycle that lasted through Christmas Eve.  I know there were things going on around me.  My kids played, they checked on me, they asked me for stuff.  At times I even responded with a half conscious “Honey I love you, I’m not being lazy I’m just really sick.”

I vaguely remember Evil Genius wrapping all the presents, doing the last minute grocery shopping, cooking all the meals, renting some movies, and even washing some dishes.  If there was a medal for that, I’m sure I’d dip it in chocolate and give it to him.

I said I wanted to rest and not gain any weight this Christmas, I didn’t mean it quite like that!

Luckily, I recovered enough to enjoy my kids opening their presents, and a wonderful dinner and dessert cooked by Evil Genius.  I was even conscious for most of it.

See the tie-dyed shirt that Evil Genius is wearing? Is that not the coolest shirt ever in the history of geekdom. And sadly not in my size.

Now that Christmas is over, it’s back to the real world.  I’m still not feeling well *urp* but there are no more excuses and I have to work as well as attempt to do those things known as chores.  The kids are for the most part well entertained by their gifts, except when they’re not.  Yesterday as I attempted to do the working from home part of my job I heard my daughter yell at least once “Mommy I’m LONELY!”

Translation-she’s ready to go back to school already.  We’re only a little ways into the SIXTEEN day break that the kids have this year.  Wow.  They have it rough.  We may not survive this…

The Professor is good, because he has a lot of screens to look at and that makes him happy.  Except when he’s not.

Oh… and the Christmas card?  Remember that from last week’s Fly on the Wall post?  After all that had happened, I thought I had better be a good girl and take them with me while I was visiting family and work on them in the spare time I foolishly thought I would have.

Then I left them at my mom’s house, because apparently the flu which infected my gut had already seeped into my brain, I just didn’t know it.

Once my brain began comprehending things, I mentioned something to my mom and she immediately sent them to me, only they no longer can be considered Christmas cards.  We’re now in the beginning stages of turning them into New Year’s cards, with only a few days before I have to send them.  The beginning stages as in I bought stuff to make them with and have felt too lousy and had too little time to do anything with them.

We’ll see how long before I just give up and figure that this year Christmas has just officially kicked my butt.

I hope you are all having a joyous holiday thus far!  I hope you actually got your Christmas cards sent out, enjoyed a lovely time with your family, and are enjoying the stretch of time between the two holidays without any sort of poop or puke in your midst.  Let me know how your holiday went by telling me in the comments!

And I leave you with my absolute favorite picture from the holiday…

Where else do you play with catnip mice but in a Christmas kitty bag?

Auntie Shrew, Auntie Shrew, Mommy’s Sick!

I wish there was someone to fill in for me today!

I’m pretty sure that Santa is sitting on my chest and there’s a reindeer up my nose.  Yup, I’ve been sick, and apparently it has to get worse before it gets better.  My brain is full of something that is not brains.  Due to this, I can’t even think straight and therefore am forced to take a day off.  Sort of, because Moms really don’t get a day off.

The princess has made sure I have good company for the five minutes that she allows me to lay down.

I know that I’d like to invest in one of these babies, but considering I can’t even use the bathroom alone I doubt I’d be allowed to use it properly.

Borg regenerator. I’d like the Mommy model, please.

I have a million and one unfinished craft and baking projects to do, because remember, I’m making all of my own stuff this year.  Our family Christmas is this coming weekend and I have sooooo much to do.  I’d take some elves to help out about now, not including the one walking around my house with my camera, taking pictures of her feet, the walls, and other random stuff.  She keeps trying to take my picture, and I’m about ready go all Hollywood on her.

Since I am almost always blogging a day ahead, this means that unless I make a rapid recovery that there may or may not be a blog post tomorrow…or the next day…  But I am also a big liar a lot of the time.  Maybe my daughter or son or husband will do a guest post.  HA HA.  I hope to be back soon-renewed, fresh, and full of something other than whatever my head is full of.

Oh-and stay tuned on Friday.  I’m participating in the Secret Subject Swap through Baking in a Tornado.  I can’t tell you any more, because if I told you I’d have to kill you.  It will be good fun!  Hopefully I’ll be able to focus enough to enjoy it.

I said I wanted elves. Wrong elves.

SuperintendentHalopedia: The Superintendent is a second generation “dumb” Artificial Intelligence. →

Our Black Friday: Replace Defective or Missing Christmas Decorations Friday

Maybe it’s because I’m already a pretty good bargain shopper, but I’ve never really had any desire to do the Black Friday thing.   I’ve gone once in my life with my in-laws, and I wasn’t really enamored with the whole experience.  You that like that sort of thing can have it!

Each year I go out later in the day after the initial madness has died down, but not for bargains.  We try to get our tree up that day, and I’m usually going out for that one Christmas thing that we can’t live without to finish putting up the tree.  Our tree stand broke last year-we can’t exactly put the tree up without it.  We tried it-we tied the tree to the ceiling with some fishing line.  After it fell over twice, we figured it would be best to just invest in a good tree stand.  It’s always something essential.  We couldn’t find the star for our tree one year.  We looked everywhere.  It wasn’t until after we had packed the tree up and put it away that we found the old one.  Another year we couldn’t get the star to work, or the string of lights wasn’t long enough, or they just plain didn’t work. I believe it was two years ago that I couldn’t find the ornament hooks.  Important stuff.

This year we’re going out later in the morning, but not for shopping.  We’re going to get the kids hair cut.  It’s a bit of a hair emergency-it’s been a while!

There’s just nothing that I really want badly enough for my kids or myself to stand in line for hours to buy.  We’ve never been ones to have to get this year’s “it” toy or item.  I tend to wait until it gets close to Christmas and get stuff when it goes on a good sale, or on clearance.  We buy a lot of things that were never opened or second hand and in good condition at consignment and thrift stores for a fraction of the price they go for in stores.  No stress, no getting trampled, no getting up early.

I have some friends who do it every year.  They make it fun-they go out and get coffee and go out for breakfast beforehand.  I have a cousin who is a whiz at getting some of the coveted items and does it every year.  Maybe if I had a fun group of gals to go out with I might consider it.  Or if I had any money to spend.

It seems like they keep starting Black Friday sales earlier and earlier.  Some stores are now opening on Thanksgiving.  Back when I was in college, I worked at Kmart and they have been open on Thanksgiving for years.  Not so much the Black Friday hype, just a store open for people to get stuff they needed.  I’d go in and make my time and a half by working a voluntary four hour shift, then go home and eat Thanksgiving dinner.  Nowadays more and more stores are opening on Thanksgiving and opening even earlier each year.  Pretty soon Black Friday will be starting the day after Halloween and going clear through until after Thanksgiving!

This year we won’t be doing much shopping at all.  I kind of wanted to go out later this weekend, but a major snafu at the bank took care of that.  We had two car payments instead of one come out of our account.  No money until the end of the month or until they resolve the issue, one or the other… Bummer.  Oh well, no matter how we’re looking at it this Christmas will be remarkably slim for the kiddos and no gift exchanging for the grown-ups.  Look honey, a shiny penny for you!  What a great gift!  😉

If we did have some money to spend, I’d be trying to help some smaller businesses.  The Saturday after Thanksgiving is Small Business Saturday.  My Dad is a small business owner, as are many of the stores we shop at on a regular basis.  I’m hoping that other people take advantage and check them out!

So for you Black Friday shoppers-have fun and help stimulate the economy.  I’ll be home in my nice warm bed fast asleep!

This COULD possibly get me motivated to go one of these years… could be fun!