Doggone Weekly Wrap-Up

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I’m calling this the “Doggone Weekly Wrap-Up” because my dog has been gone this week more than he has been here.  He bolts every chance he gets, and he WILL NOT come to us until he is wet, miserable, and hungry.  He got out so much that on Thursday he had to hang out overnight in the puppy clinker.  When I went to retrieve him, I put the words “Bail for the Escape Artist” on the check.  Hopefully he’ll figure it out that it’s not cool to run away all the time from the place where he has shelter, food, and lots of love.  Yeah, right, I won’t hold my breath.

But I digress…other stuff happened this week too.

Monday EXTREME GREEN!  My efforts at trying to be more healthy…

Tuesday  This Mom’s Birthday List  I have a birthday coming up, so for fun I made a list.  This is one that’s a bit more realistic than my Christmas list was. At least I hope so.

I also dumped out my purse over on the Kelley’s Breakroom Facebook page.  It’s ok, I really needed to clean it out anyway!

whats in her bag

Wednesday Wordless Wednesday: Just Chillin’ (And A Link To My Guest Post)  I thought it would be fun to do both the picture as well as plug my guest post over at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion.  So I did.  Be sure to stick around and show some love to Stephanie’s blog when you’re done!

Thursday  Theme Thursday: Do-Overs  What would you do over if you had the chance?  My answers may or may not surprise people.  Complete with scenes from Star Trek IV, because I cover all the bases.

Friday  Help, HELP!  I’m Trapped At Target!  A tale for Finish the Sentence Friday for all to behold and laugh at my expense.

Cool Stuff That I Know About That I’m Not Sure That You Know About But Should And Favorite Stuff I Found This Week And This Is A Run On Sentence And I Don’t Care

Twisted Mixtape Tuesday-Here’s some fun every Tuesday that you can come over and put your two cents in.  Jen Kehl  spends some time each week making lists of songs according to whatever theme they have in mind.  This week’s list was breakup songs.  Who else breaks out into Paul Anka when they think of breaking up?

When Crazy Meets Exhaustion-Trouble Making Me-I was here this week guest blogging, and this is one of her posts that shows the awesomeness that is Stephanie.

Living on the Spectrum:The Connor Chronicles-POOP This has nothing to do with what you think it has to do with. It has everything to do with a real mom’s version of Gwyneth Paltrow’s website “GOOP”

vader no tp

Best and Most Disturbing Search Terms

Withdrawal  Who’s withdrawing what??? 

Moose yodeling  A moose that can yodel?  Or people yodeling for mooses?  Here moosey moosey moose yoh-deh-lay-hee-hooooo.

Exercise machine won’t make eye contact Do you really want your exercise machine to stare at you?  That’s weird man.

I don’t get the funny waldo post  You should because it was freaking AWESOME!  Missed it last month?  Read Where’s Waldo?  Answer: Creepytown here.

Renaissance fair cleavage  I defer this one to Menopausal Mother.  Missed this post too?  What is wrong with you people?  Read Cleavage and Kilts here.

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My lovely friend Marcia The Menopausal Mother at Renfest.

Next week

Our trip to the eye doctor, my review of I Just Want to Pee Alone (for reals this time, I promise!), a special birthday Wordless Wednesday, unusual parenting for Theme Thursday, and what I want on a desert island for FTSF (this is gonna be fun…)

Oh, and just one more thing…

I did this thing, y’all.  I’m terrible at self promotion and at asking for votes.  I submitted two of my posts to the BlogHer Voices of the Year.  If you’re a member of BlogHer and want to help little old me out, please follow the linky-dinks and vote for the posts.  I don’t know if it makes a difference, but it would be nice to be recognized!

Here are the links if you are interested in voting:

http://www.blogher.com/lessons-kids-life-short-play-naked

http://www.blogher.com/i-peed-my-pants-wal-mart-and-other-tales-mommy-incontinence

Have a great rest of your weekend and a FABULOUS week this next week!

How Antisocial kitty reacted to the dog running away (a reenactment of course).

How Antisocial kitty reacted to the dog running away (a reenactment of course).

Helloooooo February! Week In Review

Help me Obi Wan Groundhog, you're my only hope!

Help me Obi Wan Groundhog, you’re my only hope!

The groundhog didn’t see his shadow this past weekend.  This is good news to me, though I still wonder why our country seems so dependent on a rodent to forecast the weather…  I understand folks on the East Coast are really hoping he’s correct.  I think they found Nemo, or Nemo found them.

Stuff I did this week, besides taking on a long term sub job:

Monday  This is Your Body on Stress:  Insane in the Brain  My body lashes out and tries to kill me.

Tuesday  My Life of Crime: Subliminal Criminal  Instead of getting to jump right into work like I wanted to I had to wait-my background check revealed I might be a criminal.  Too bad I didn’t know this, I could have been shoplifting this whole time.

Wednesday  Almost Wordless Wednesday:  BRAT  Some dogs are just not very smart.  MY pooch is one of them.

Thursday  Theme Thursday:  SHOW ME THE CANDY!  Valentine’s Day-my kids already know what it’s all about.
I also had my first post featured on The Epistolarians.  I’m very excited to be a part of this group of women!

Friday  February Secret Subject Swap Take 2:  Public Humiliation-I Pee Therefore I Am  Because pee happens.  Sometimes bad things happen when you pee, and I’m not talking about itching and burning.

And for those of you that were wondering about my criminal past:

I AM NOT A CROOK!  As it turns out, there must have been some glitch.  The fax came and there was no record found.  Too bad the paperwork sat on a desk for almost a week.

I AM NOT A CROOK! As it turns out, there must have been some glitch. The fax came and there was no record found. Too bad the paperwork sat on a desk for almost a week.

Favorite Posts by Other Blogs:

I am seriously behind on all of my reading for obvious reasons, but I did read some great stuff this week!

Mommy, How Did I Get Out of Your Tummy? The Bearded Iris  This conversation could have totally taken place in my house…

Ten Bad Valentine’s Day Gifts Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva  Meat underwear.  That’s all I have to say about this.

Secret Subject Swap Take 2 Baking in a Tornado  Be sure to check all of the posts-she has them all linked up!

Work is going pretty well now that I am exonerated.  This blog?  Unfortunately it’s losing views due to the fact that I can’t post updates during the day, or something.  Please check in on me and keep reading.  And you can still vote in the Circle of Moms contest up through 4 pm Wednesday-the last time I looked I was up to #99.  I never cared about getting into the Top 25, but I did want to get in the Top 100.  Thanks to everyone who has voted for me!

I’ve got some awards and a funny sort of q and a thing that I need to share coming up, and Friday is the next round of Fly on the Wall.  Hope to see you all next week!

wine

Almost Wordless Wednesday: BRAT

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Riddle me this-why is it that dogs wrap themselves around every fricking thing in the yard?  He has wrapped his tie out around everything from the table on the deck to a little bitty baby tree. Is it a superpower?  It’s certainly annoying.

This one took the cake.  Upon tearing apart the garbage, he found a small string of burned out lights.  This resulted in the above picture.  He looks quite proud of himself.  Sigh…

Theme Thursday: Cats and Dogs, Disliking Each Other In My Home Since 2012

Yeah, it's totally like that.

Yeah, it’s totally like that.

What is Theme Thursday?  ‘Tis a Thursday with a theme.  This is a gently used Theme Thursday post, originally for the theme cats vs dogs but now slightly modified for this week’s theme of rivalries!  Please join me over at Something Clever 2.0 to read what other folks have to say about rivalries by clicking on the perty blue Theme Thursday button!

I have owned cats for over half of my life, and have now owned a dog for about five months.  I’ve never really been a dog person, and I feel bad about this fact.  I totally get why people who love dogs love them so much.  I just personally relate better to cats.  I’m really not sure why.  I’m more used to cats?  After all, I never owned a dog of my own until recently.  I’m more LIKE a cat?  I don’t hide under my bed and growl at people, so this certainly wouldn’t be it either.

My dog is the eternal optimist.  His bowl is always half full, and his trash can is fuller.  This is because he would rather eat out of the trash most days than his dog food.  He thinks that everyone in the world is there just to play with him.  Someone comes to the house?  They have come to play with me!  Someone walks past the window?  They have come to play with me!  We see another dog?  It has come to play with me!

The cat… does not play with him.

Don't mess with the upstairs-it's her domain.

Don’t mess with the upstairs-it’s her domain.

My cat is a pessimist, for lack of a better word.  I think she has spent a good deal of time trying to figure out which method she is going to use to do the dog in.  It’s not like he is taking over or anything, she was antisocial before.  All she ever did was hide under the bed.  Occasionally she would even grace us with her presence and let us pet her for 4.5 seconds, sometimes even twice in the same five minutes.  I think that now that she is used to him being here she is actually more social than she ever has been.  There is totally a reason for this-she’s trying to show him up.  Think about it.  I have seen this firsthand.  She jumps up to be petted, the dog is instantly jealous.  I swear she is almost sticking her tongue out at him “Thhhhhhpppppt!”

She IS beautiful, and she wants everyone to know it.  I think of the old “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” commercials, only she wouldn’t care if anyone did hate her because of it.  The dog may think that everyone is there to play with him, she believes that everyone is there to admire her and bow in her presence.

True... true...

True… true…

I just want everyone to get along.  The cat chooses to disagree.  Meanwhile the dog never gives up on hoping she will play with him, or he just has a really short memory.  He runs up to her whenever she enters the room, wagging his tail, she hisses and growls. Sometimes she will even retreat under the couch and continue to growl.  It sounds like the entire couch is growling.

We’re not oblivious to the fact that our poor doggie could use a furry playmate.  We have been looking around for quite some time for a kitty that could hold its own and that actually might let the dog near it.  Our dear departed kitty was much more like a dog.  He was sweet.  He was tolerant.  He was so laid back in fact that my children could lay on top of him and he would maybe blink.  He would have made a great companion for our canine.  He was also the size of a small dog.  When he sat around the house, well, yeah… he sat around the house.  He was a fabulous lap cat, because he took up a whole lap and then some.  But he was not fat.  He was big boned.  Really, really big boned.

Having the dog has certainly made life more interesting, but also much more messy.  While the cat’s messes are confined to the occasional hacked up hairball and the wooden scratching post formerly known as a banister, the dog seems to make messes everywhere.  His trash addiction, which he lovingly brings into the room adjacent the living room for some odd reason, is maddening enough.  I seriously am going to ask for a stainless steel doggy proof trash can for Valentines Day.  Then there are his toys.  There is nothing that this dog cannot destroy in a matter of minutes.  NOTHING!  And these little remnants are everywhere-I will have just picked up and thrown away half a dozen stringy thingys that were once toys, only to find three more shoved into the couch cushions.  And pieces of rawhide chews.  And whatever else he’s been playing with.  Now that I think about it, it’s like living with one great big furry toddler.

I love both of my animals.  However if I had to choose between the two, every time I would choose the cat.  Sorry dog, it’s true.  You say dog, I say cat.  I will always be a cat person, and I’m not apologizing for it.

My cat and dog.  He is bowing in submission, because he simply wants to play.  She wants him to just go away.

My cat and dog. He is bowing in submission, because he simply wants to play. She wants him to just go away.

My friend Steve likes cats. People are always saying “Oh, Steve’s really a cat person”.  No he’s not.  If Steve were a cat person it’d be, like, “Hey, Steve never goes in the pool” -Demetri Martin

Theme Thursday