May Secret Subject Swap: My Life Without Kids

secretWelcome to Take One of May’s Secret Subject Swaps. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My prompt is this:  Imagine yourself with no children, where would you be and what would you be doing? If you have no children, imagine yourself with children, how do you think life would be different?

It was submitted by:

If I had no children:

IMG_2307-001Eating would be much different.  I could eat grown up foods when I wanted, and no one would complain about it.  Or wear it.

I'm visiting today but no car rides with weird children...I would travel, and no one would be fighting in the backseat or complaining about the destination.  Or wearing Wal-Mart bags on their heads.

IMG_1591 (2)I would be fabulously in shape, since I would be able to work out and do things like take walks, take long bike rides, and do yoga without anyone protesting.

.My house would be clean.
(Though I must say my house, however messy that it is, doesn’t look like a drunken Barbie orgy took place. Oh poor Flynn Ryder-it must hurt to be passed out in that pose…)

IMG_1185I would sleep, perchance to dream and not be awakened by a little one at 6 am on a Saturday “Mommy you need to GET UP!”  (Some people are just too perky that early…)

But I would NOT have:

Bloggers in my Top 20 could receive this beautiful handmade, um, thing.  She says its a weapon...Original artwork for free.  Like this, um thing.

IMG_0460The experience of seeing the world as a child sees it.

IMG_0876Free comedic entertainment (I think he’s trying to read someone’s shirt while running those bases).

IMG_1225Infinite love.

The truth is, although there are times when I would like to just be able to have a day away, I was a very boring person before my kids came along.  I really don’t want to imagine a life without them.

This post is written for all the Moms out there.  Happy Mother’s Day ladies!

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

What I’ve Learned From Blogging: The Good, the Bad, and the REALLY Scary

Blogging has provided me with an outlet for my ideas. See look, I have one right here.

Today was my best day yet.  I smashed my previous record of having over one hundred views in a day, at last count I was up to 173 views!  That may not seem like much to those of you that get that many every day, that is huge for me.  As I close in on having 3,000 views and almost 50 followers, I can say that this whole blogging thing has been on the whole a very positive experience.  I sent my first post to the AimingLow website this week, hoping that maybe they’ll publish it.  I’m also trying to get going in the writing world.  It is definitely a process, though.  It took me a while to get here, and I still have a very long way to go.

Some things I have learned along the way thus far:

  • One of the scariest things about having your own blog is the stuff that people use to find your blog.  *shudder*  Search terms used to find my blog include the following- glue sniffing crack, why my husband takes 25 minutes to poop, is white chocolate made out of bat poop, barbie in compromising positions, girl poops out a mouse, moms that screw pets for fun and get caught and share.  That’s weird, man.
  • Never, ever use the word “penis” in a blog title.
  • No one cares about your PMS.  Even if it IS extreme.
  • Comment if you’re thinking something.  I never used to comment on anything I read before I started doing this.  Now I say what I’m thinking.  I can’t say it’s gained me a million followers, but it’s nice to see people read what I say on other people’s blogs.  And like it.
  • If I were a spammer, I would hire someone who at least knows how to write with proper grammar.  Or make it sound like it’s a real person.  Or something.  Don’t worry, I’m not hiring myself out to do this, though I could really use the money.
  • You find the bestest people on WordPress.  I don’t care if it’s not a real word, I’m gonna use it anyway.
  • Kids, husbands, pets, and my own stupidity are endless sources of blog ideas.  It’s pretty rare that I do have a day without something to write about.  Which is good, because I don’t want my brain to be full.  Or empty.  Or half full or half empty, depending on how you look at that…
  • I never lack for entertainment having found the blogging community.  Even when I’m not writing, I’m reading other blogs.  Tell me I need to get a life, I don’t care!

Not so much something I have learned but more of a thought in my brain:  As I continue to go on with my blog, my biggest fear is running out of space on here.  I started out not using a lot of pictures, but now I use at least 2 for every post.  Pictures use up a lot of memory.  Maybe I need to take up a collection to upgrade to PRO?  It could be like the Save the Children fund, only it would be “Save the Sadder But Wiser Girl”.  Perhaps by the time that happens I’ll be gainfully employed.  I applied at Casey’s General Store this week, it could happen.

What have YOU learned from having your own blog?  Any wisdom you’d like to share?