Expectation Versus Reality: A Morning in the ADD Household

june-cleaver

Not me.

So you’d think everything would just fall into place.  Both kids are in school, I’m working part-time so I send them off, have plenty of time to exercise, plan meals, clean the house, AND work.  Right?

Riiiiiiiight.  If you believe that, I have a bridge in New York that I can sell you really cheap.

A Typical Morning:  The Expectation

The alarm goes off at 6 am.  I get up to do yoga with the sun in my shimmery, flattering yoga outfit.  At 7 am, I gently my rouse my children out of bed with snuggles and kisses.  They dress themselves in their out of this world adorable outfits that totally match.  We have a lovely breakfast of homemade sprouted 7 grain waffles with organic maple syrup and freshly squeezed orange juice.  Afterwards, I carefully make them lunches that are not only healthy but visually appealing.  I take photos with Instagram and upload them to Pinterest.

I brush my daughter’s hair 1,000 strokes and make it look like perfection with the addition of a homemade hair clip that matches her outfit exactly.  Both children put their shoes on and are ready to bound out the door, eagerly anticipating the glorious day ahead…

We walk from the house, hand in hand, smiling all the way to the bus stop.  I drop them off and they skip hand in hand into the school building.

I now can enjoy my alone time to go to the gym for a long workout session and take a nice walk before donning my wrinkle free work attire and heading in for a day of librarianism.

Okay wait a minute.  Who are THESE people?  And why are they on a beach?  Uh-oh, it looks like fantasy has got in the way of reality again!

Okay wait a minute. Who are THESE people? They’re not going to a bus stop. And why are they on a beach? Uh-oh, it looks like fantasy has got in the way of reality again!

A Typical Morning:  Reality

I forget to set the alarm and stagger out of bed at 7:05 am. The Princess has been up for an hour, waiting for me to get my lazy butt up. (Insomnia the night before?  Say it ain’t so!). I rouse my son out of bed with pleas to shower as quickly as possible because I also have to take one before work.

The Professor dresses himself in a t-shirt that is three sizes two big and athletic shorts with black socks pulled up to the knees.  The Princess is dressed in a bright yellow and white flowered top and red plaid leggings with rainbow striped socks pulled up over the plaid leggings.

My son fights with me again about his cereal-he must have plain Fareway brand Tasteeos without milk and orange juice.  My daughter takes ten minutes to make up her mind about what she wants and then changes her mind after I’ve got it onto the plate.  Meanwhile she has already upset her brother ten times because she won’t quit touching him or quit “almost” touching him with her feet under the table.  He has been spending an inordinate amount of time trying to get his sister to understand the fact that the song “BINGO” is factually inaccurate.

Meanwhile, I hastily make lunches while they eat.  The Princess requests salad with ranch dressing and red grapes on the side.  It may be in a bento box, but it’s not exactly visually appealing.  Probably closer to CraftFail than Pinterest.  The Professor does not like any of the choices I have, because he prefers hot lunch 9 out of 10 times.

After breakfast The Princess wants to wear the sparkly purple flower with the “jewel” in the middle in her hair, because it goes so well with the rest of her outfit.  The Professor doesn’t feel that he needs to wash his glasses because he says he can see just fine.

It’s time to get ready for the bus.  It’s raining for the first time in what, six months?  The kids scramble to get their umbrellas.  The Princess can’t find her jacket, because she has left it at school.  And don’t short black boots go awesome with knee length cropped leggings?  The Professor dons a jacket that is very small instead of the one that fits him.  I find it and make him change, he is unhappy about this.

It’s time to go!  The Professor opens the door and the dog runs away.  After watching the kids walk up to the bus stop, I spend the next little while sitting in the car, waiting for the dog to come into sight so I can open the door and yell “Here boy, want a ride?”

By the time I get back inside, there really isn’t enough time to go to the gym.  And I never did get my shower.  I go to work with my hair in a ponytail and a semi wrinkle free outfit that almost hides my muffin coffee cake top.

This is an outfit we were forced to wear because the other one was too small.  This was not without a fight... It's a good thing she's cute.

This is an outfit we were forced to wear because the other one looked ridiculous. This was not without a fight… It’s a good thing she’s cute.

PS-I’m writing this surrounded by mountains of laundry on all sides, because my housekeeping skills are that good.  It’s like a little fort…

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