August Fly on the Wall: Bob’s Lubed Bamboo Edition

Fly on the WallIf you tell your Iphone “A whop bop-a-lu a whop bam boom” it will translate it as “What Bob lube up a lot bamboo.”

Confused? I was trying out the talk to text function in the Notes to try to help preserve all those precious quotes for future Fly on the Wall posts. And it was funny.

Yes that’s right people, it’s fly time again.  Did you know that I spend quite a bit of time each month preparing for this moment? 

But Sarah, what exactly is Fly on the Wall?  And how will it make my life deeper and more meaningful?

Glad you asked, random anonymous person who kind of sounds like me.  Fly on the Wall is a post putting together many of the random things that are said or done around the house that on their own wouldn’t make up a post on their own.  Eleven bloggers all publish their posts at the same time with links to all the participating people so that you will get to take in all of their awesomeness in the SAME TIME PERIOD. 

Hot damn.  So make sure you check out some of the links at the bottom of this post.

As far as making your life deeper and more meaningful?  I’m not so sure about that happening.  But you will laugh…

This picture from the State Fair makes me laugh every time I see it.

This picture from the State Fair makes me laugh every time I see it.

The kids are playing legos in the next room.
The Princess: Wait! My lego guy says to wait!
The Professor: Ok, what’s his name?
The Princess: His name is Rotisserie.
(I suppose that’s better than Victoria Secret.)

The Professor:  “These shorts make me better. I’m like Ezra 2.0.”

My Facebook status a little more than halfway through our week of vacation:  So a week of vacation thus far: Sunday we took a trip to the zoo, yesterday we bought American cheese and cat litter, and tomorrow my husband gets an oil change. Bet you’re so jealous.

The Professor, upon hearing about Pigs in Space:  This pigs in space, is that an angry birds thing?

My children are deprived.  They had never had cotton candy before!

My children are deprived. They had never had cotton candy before!

We went to the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha.  The most interesting animal name we saw was a Screaming Hairy Armadillo.  No I did not take a picture, because it was dark and I couldn’t see it. Couldn’t hear it either.

I don’t have a bucket list, I have a Dixie cup list.

A good app to invent for those long car rides:  A where’s the next potty app, so we how long we have to wait until we can stop and pee at an actual restroom.  Somebody get on that, will ya?

Perhaps you saw my husband and I out on a date at the Piggly Wiggly?  Apparently we also brought Scott and Pa.

Perhaps you saw my husband and I out on a date at the Piggly Wiggly? Apparently we also brought Scott and Pa.

Recently we decided to do something that normal people do for a change and watch Game of Thrones.  Since we have it at the library we have rented it and have been watching it as we can.  It’s pretty good, though I can do without the very graphic killings and whatnot (unless you live in a box, you know what I mean by the whatnot). I literally sit and watch it, ready to turn my head at a moment’s notice so I don’t see heads being sliced off/throats being cut/etc.  Here are some things that have been uttered or typed on Facebook chat while watching Game of Thrones in our living room:

“I have to get off here now and go watch all the sex.  Evil Genius just put Game of Thrones in.”

“I wonder if they have breast auditions.”

“This is going to end badly.”

“Hey look, it’s John Oates.”

I really have to get off of Facebook while I’m watching this, because so far I keep seeing “Everybody diiiiiiiiessssss!”

(Maybe this is where Bob’s lubed bamboo fits in?)

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Look! A four leaf clover!

After arguing with my kids about the fact that they NEED to go outside and then MAKING them go outside for a bit, the thing that irks me is this: I wish someone would make ME go play outside while they do all my chores.

The Princess:  “Mommy, look, the Science Center has a MOAT!”  Hmmm, must be to keep unwanted science out?

Evil Genius:  “I’ll take a triple shot soy vanilla latte.  That’s right, that’s a man’s coffee.”

The Professor:  “These sunglasses make me look like a man.”

Played slow pitch softball for the first time ever.  My kids were the ones on the bleachers, biting each other on the butt.  Just in case you were wondering.

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The first day of school. Adorable. Especially when they aren’t biting each other on the butt.

Now don’t forget-go visit my other friends (yes I have those.)

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                          Baking In A Tornado

http://www.therowdybaker.com                                  The Rowdy Baker

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                                Just A Little Nutty

http://themomisodes.com                                          The Momisodes

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                          Spatulas on Parade

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                            Follow me home . . .

http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com/                   Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                                Menopausal Mother

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                          Someone Else’s Genius

http://www.gomamao.com                                          Go Mamma O

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The Truth About Kindergarten: Mommy Won’t Be Driving The School Bus

At her kindergarten visit.

At her kindergarten visit.

Since she read the story “Kittengarten” in her High Five magazine last year, The Princess has been interested in kindergarten.  But she chose her words carefully. “That would be fun, but I’d miss you.”

How sweet.

But as the start of the school year drew closer it was increasingly obvious that she REALLY needed to go to school.  There was no question that this kid needed to have some time apart from her mommy, whether she thought she needed it or not.

Let’s be frank, mommy sure needed it.

Oddly enough, the “first” day of kindergarten here is a half hour long.  There are two shifts that parents can come in with their child and help them tour the school.  There were activities and stickers and muffins and orange juice.

I hated to break it to her that there would not ALWAYS be muffins.

Part of the visit included the kindergarteners getting to go all over the school to find where all of the different rooms would be located:  Music, PE, Art, etcetera.  The very last stop on the tour was a school bus out front of the school.  She was a bit put out with me that I would not drive her home in the bus.

This short little visit to school did nothing to convince her that I was not going to be at her school all day every day.  We even talked about it that night,  I’m pretty sure that she thought that I would be right across the hall or hiding in the closet.

(As a rule I don’t like to hang out in closets because I’m claustrophobic, but whatever…)

Her first “real” day of kindergarten she picked out her fancy purple sparkle dress  to wear and chose leftover veggie pasta to put in her pink thermos for lunch.  Such a contrast to her brother, who wanted to wear a superhero shirt and begged for hot lunch because he really wanted corn dogs.

The Princess was excited, but once it sunk in that mommy would not be getting on that bus with her (or driving the bus to school), she panicked. Luckily The Professor was quick on his feet-he was able to distract her, first with the “secret” passage by the school and then with stories of how much fun it was to ride the bus.  It worked I was really, really proud of that boy that morning!

Getting ready to get on the bus.

Getting ready to get on the bus.

Then the bus arrived and off they went.  I didn’t get any actual pictures of them getting on the bus like the 43 others moms with fancy cameras that didn’t have dead batteries.  And surprisingly I didn’t cry-probably because I got it all out of my system with my last post about kindergarten. 

It was a bit surreal spending the day by myself.  I can’t say that I did much.  I didn’t lay around in a bubble bath eating bon bons.  Instead I spent it fighting off a wannabe migraine and running errands.

And The Princess did just fine without me.  She came off the bus and ran to me with a great big smile, so excited about everything she’d done that day.  “Mommy, I learned that there is an invisible bucket and we all have one.  When people say mean things your bucket gets empty.  When people say nice things your bucket gets full.  And sometimes, when your bucket gets too full it EXPLODES!”

When asked hat she did in kindergarten she announced:
“We had nap time for just FIVE MINUTES!”
Me:  “Five minutes?  Why?”
“Because that’s how Mrs J wants it!”

Of course the first week of school one of her classmates had a birthday.  The Princess was so excited, because they got cupcakes!  She’s since been totally obsessed with the snack calendar.  Sometimes she comes downstairs from her room more than once to make sure that she knows who is bringing the next snack, and to make sure there are no changes.  I had to inform her, however, that the reason her friend brought so many cool things was because it was her birthday, and that we would not be supplying cupcakes until her birthday at the end of the school year.  Sorry Charlie, it’s fruit snacks or crackers for snack when we have to bring it.

She’s had a lot of fun planning for school.  She lays out her outfits and coordinating jewelry the night before.  The only issue she has really had was with the black mary janes I bought for her.  She doesn’t want to take them off, and they are supposed to wear tennis shoes for PE days.  She sadly informed me that bringing the athletic shoes to change into at PE time simply wasn’t an option because “Mrs J doesn’t want fancy shoes on PE day.”

Fortunately my daughter hasn’t forgotten me yet.  She’s still very much wanting me around.  As a matter of fact she begged me to join her for lunch every day.  I finally gave in and came for pizza the second week of school.  They have the very same pizza and chocolate milk that I enjoyed at school as a kid, except that they get to have chocolate milk every day.  We could only have chocolate milk on Fridays.  Kids these days have it so easy!

So kindergarten?  So far, so good.  And Mommy has had very little time to miss her little one-good timing with the new job!

Both kids on the first "real" day of school.

Both kids on the first “real” day of school.

Ready or Not Kindergarten, Here She Comes (And Mommy Tries Not To Cry)

Five years ago... and now she's ready for kindergarten.

Five years ago… and now she’s ready for kindergarten.

I swore up and down that I wasn’t going to be one of those parents who lost it when their youngest went off into the great world of public education.  And yet here I am, bawling my eyes out at all hours of the night. And she hasn’t even started yet.

When my son started kindergarten it was a joyous occasion as well as a bit of a relief for us.  FINALLY he was going to be in an environment when he had to listen to someone else.  Maybe then he would finally have the challenge and the help that he needed.  And the best thing was that I was going to be right across the hall.  That backfired on me later, but at the beginning that was very nice to be near enough that he could see me.

He never worried, he did ask a lot of questions, but there was never any doubt that he was going and he barely looked back.  And the nightmare began shortly after that.

I have mixed emotions on The Princess starting kindergarten.  On one hand I know that she is more than ready.  But I’m also hearing things that I never heard from The Professor that are breaking my heart.

IMG_2175“You’ll be right there with me, right?  Right there in the room?”

“Mommy will you still remember me when I go to kindergarten?”

“Mommy I will miss you when I’m at school.”

We’ve had our moments, but she and I have always had a special bond.  When I went back to work after having her, it was short-lived.  I ended up taking a part-time job so we could share daycare between the two of us while Evil Genius was in school.  Even the year I worked full-time we never were very far apart.  So the idea of me not being right there is somewhat new to her.

As the time for school drew closer she asked for something simple.  She asked me for a picture of the two of us.  Two copies-one for her and one for me.  That way I will remember her while she’s at school and she can have my picture there in her backpack for reassurance.  While very sweet, she can’t take all the credit for that because she saw it on a tv show.

IMG_2308

The picture I had Evil Genius take of us at the fair for The Princess.

What’s breaking my heart right now is that I don’t know if I can deliver.  My printer is down, and I have spent quite a bit of time trying to get my computer to behave to get everything put back on it.  My printer, as you might recall, forgets who it is.  It also has been jamming up and eating paper and ink.  Unless I find a place here in town to print it out, she may not get to have her picture after all.

She’s always making up songs about how much she loves her mommy. How sweet is that?  I also have a pile of artwork that would put any artist to shame.  Every day she draws me pictures.  They are always the same scene, of the two of us standing together, holding a heart.  I have so many of these sweet pictures that I don’t know what to do with all of them.

Now this one is a little different.  We are wearing crowns.

Now this one is a little different, we’re not holding a heart but we are wearing crowns.  I guess I’m “fixing” her crown in this picture.

I just don’t get why she loves me so much.  She loves me, she really does.  Sometimes I wonder why.  I’m not a particularly good mom.  I try.  I always have good intentions.  I give an ample supply of hugs and kisses and let her sing her songs for me.  I just hope to continues to love me this much, even after she discovers all of the cookie-baking Pinterest moms who can take their kids to Disneyworld.

Tomorrow is not the actual start of Kindergarten.  Just a short amount of time where she can go in, meet her teacher, and see where everything is.  Then the real fun begins on Thursday.  Remember that this is the child that the pediatrician said that kindergarten would have a problem with her.  We’ll just have to see what comes of it.

Will I cry then?  Maybe not because I’m crying now.  I guess we’ll find out soon enough…

She calls it our house of love.

She calls it our house of love.  Indeed.