Weekly Wrap-Up: The Forgetful Edition

My favorite meme this week.

My favorite meme this week.  BA HA HA!

It was evening.  The kids were in bed.  I was sorting through containers of craft supplies for work when it dawned on me that I FORGOT MY WEEKLY WRAP-UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Ok, all better now.

It wasn’t like I totally forgot-I’d been working on it earlier in the weekend, but I must have gotten distracted by something shiny.  So here’s the superduper quick wrap-up of stuff I did this week:

Tuesday  All I Wanna Do Is Throw Up When I Hear This Song One night stands/no strings attached was the theme.  I concluded that were no good songs made about this subject.  So I shared some other stuff, because I can.

Wednesday Finding My Place at Finding Ninee  Can’t you hear the Michael W Smith song playing?  No?  It’s in my head, I’ll think louder.

Thursday Battle of the Sleep Patterns  Night owls vs Early Birds.

Friday  August 2013 Fly on the Wall: The Free Fat Edition  More cuteness, less fat.

The Best Blogs You’re Not Reading (Or Maybe You Are?)
(I continue to pimp some of the ladies I run around with in bloggy land…)

Mommy For Real

Nothing By The Book

School of Smock

Best and Most Disturbing Search Terms

With the exception of those crazy Chad Knaus fans, I have no fun terms again this week.  Must be too hot!  I’m sad…

Next Week

Monday-Ba ba ba daaaaah…. I’m over at The Adventures of a Misplaced Alaskan.  There are no shirtless superheroes.  There isn’t even an RDJ reference THIS TIME.  Maybe I’ll do one the next time I guest post, provided she ever wants me back.

Tuesday-Twisted Mixtape Tuesday-I Suck, You Suck, and We Aren’t Even Vampires.  Huh? You’ll just have to read it to believe it.

Wednesday-Believe it or not, the Epistolarians have let me stay despite the fact that I’ve been less than prolific lately… My review of I Just Want To Pee Alone will be horrifying people everywhere…

Thursday-Theme Thursday’s theme is parenting wins.  Do I have any?  We’ll see if I am moved to write about it…

Friday-Well… we have found a local service that will provide internet AND cable for the same price that we were paying for internet and a land line that we never used.  If for some reason you never see me on here again, you’ll know that everything failed to work.  Keep your fingers crossed for me!

That is all.  It’s going to be scorching hot this week!  Stay cool!

Nooooo!  Not the ice cream truck!!!

Nooooo! Not the ice cream truck!!!

Theme Thursday: Parenting, ADD Style

Theme Thursday

Theme Thursday was created by Jenn at Something Clever 2.0 to bring peace and harmony to the blogging world on Thursdays… and a place for a few of us to complain.  This week’s theme is Parenting.  To read other people’s takes on parenting, stay tuned immediately following this program.  OR click on the link at the end of this post.  Something Clever 2.0 assumes full responsibility if you are entertained by this post.

I love this picture and I want to use it everywhere...

I love this picture and I want to use it everywhere…

Last week’s theme was O.P.K.:  Other People’s Kids.  This week the theme is parenting.  You don’t know how badly I wanted to entitle this post O.P.P.-Other People’s Parents.  But no, instead I decided to blog about me and what an awesome *cough* parent I am.

That’s a lie.  I am most likely classified among the World’s Worst Parents.  The WWP, it’s kind of like WWE without all of the chair smashing.  It’s because I miss stuff.  Not big stuff, like forgetting an important meeting.  I usually get to those.  I’m talking about the little things.  Little things like noticing that The Professor has claws instead of fingernails.  He probably doesn’t tell me they need to be clipped because he’s hoping that he’ll turn into Wolverine, so I can’t totally take the blame for that one.

I’ve got plenty more examples to support my point, take yesterday morning for instance.  I hit the snooze one too many times, spent too long on the computer looking at stuff, got in the shower late, got The Professor in the shower late, yet actually got in the car on time, got The Professor off to the sitter’s house just a little off schedule, and then drove the half hour to work.  As I pulled into town I caught a glimpse of Princess Tantrum in the rearview mirror.

Oh-I had forgotten to brush her hair.  And here I was congratulating myself on the fact that I got her out of the house in clothes that matched without a fight.  This isn’t unusual, she hates to have her hair brushed and will find any way she can to try to get out of it, but I usually catch it before I leave the house.  So I brushed her hair in the car before we went into the building.  Shockingly, I had a brush in my purse.  This IS unusual-I usually have all kinds of interesting stuff in there, but rarely something useful like that.  I am the person who has to buy extra deodorant in case I forget to put it on or has to go buy a box of maxi pads because I don’t have any on me when Aunt Flo comes to visit.

For those who are maybe just starting to read my blog, it’s not because I’m working.  It’s not because I have too many irons in the fire.  It’s because I’m ADD.  I have been all of my life.  I also happen to be the parent of an ADD child as well as married to an ADD adult.

I’m sure my son’s teacher is ready to throw me under the school bus.  She sends me little notes that I sometimes get, and sometimes I don’t get.  Again, I know about the important stuff, it’s those little things.  When I bring The Professor home, we have a little routine that we follow (partly for him, more for me.)  He puts his coat away and then brings me his take home folder with all of his papers in it.  When Dad picks up it doesn’t work as well.  Yes he get the stuff out, but by the time I get home it’s spread all over the living room.  Last week I found a note about having the kids bring in a little snack to eat during ITBS tests.  These were three weeks ago.  I also unearthed a note about bringing stamps for pen pals.  I vaguely remember her mentioning something at his last IEP meeting.  I guess I forgot.

Keep in  mind that trying to get to our post office within the ten minute window it is open each day is challenging even when you do stay home all of the time.  Now that I am working in a different town and trying to get to a place that sells stamps when I remember it is even more challenging.  I even sent the teacher an email about said stamps, asking how many he needed and adding that I might be able to stop on my way to work during one of the many two hour delays we’ve had.  I didn’t make it.  Today I got her reply, and I told her I didn’t make it, but would try to get over to HyVee after work and get some.

forgot

After work I went to HyVee.  I bought pop.  I also purchased pasta.  As I got on the interstate to go home I realized that I had forgotten the stamps.  I wasn’t going back.

She also mentioned his glasses.  Oh dear, dear *Mrs Saint-please don’t ask about the glasses.  Oh the glasses…

The Professor has owned two different pairs of glasses.  Add in the times that they have been completely replaced and it is more like four or five pairs.  The glasses he originally had were made of porcelain or something else like it that broke when someone spoke too loudly.  These are the kinds of things you get while you are on Medicaid.  You can’t afford a nice pair of glasses?  We’ll give you the cheapest pair ever for free and actually spend the amount of a nice pair of glasses fixing them.  Grandma stepped in after the 1,927 times I had to go get either the frames replaced completely, the glasses bent back into shape, the lenses replaced because they fell out, the earpieces replaced because they had fallen off or snapped…  She helped us buy a very nice supposedly indestructable pair.  He broke them three times.  He even had them replaced completely at one point because they were still under warranty and shouldn’t have been broken like that.  Never underestimate the power of an ADD boy.

The good pair snapped in half completely the week after the warranty expired, so he resumed wearing the crappy glasses.  These glasses actually have earpieces that are two different colors because that was the only way they could fix them the last time they broke.

I noticed him pushing the glasses into his face as he usually does (because apparently that is how you wear them when you are eight?)  His nose looked really irritated on one side.  This is because the nosepad was missing completely on that side.  The next week I went to the eye doctor on my break and had the nosepad replaced as well as the glasses unbent as much as possible.

And now?  We have no idea where they are.  I brought them home.  I brought them into the house.  Where they went after that is a mystery.  I can’t even blame him this time.  So now my son has no glasses.  Doesn’t that make me look like such a FABULOUS mom?

The good glasses, right before their imminent demise...

The good glasses, right before their imminent demise…

(Valuable Info that I need you to know:  My son can see without his glasses, he has lazy eye in one eye.  And yes, I will not let him go too long without them.  If they don’t show up soon I’ll fork over the dough to get a new pair-when insurance permits us to do so…)

To add to all of this great parenting glory, I got a call on my phone from the school yesterday from the school.  It turns out that although I had received the letter about kindergarten roundup for Princess Tantrum, I had neglected to sign her up.  Luckily, they know me pretty well there by now…

While I may receive no awards for my fabulous parenting akin to a zombie (except that I don’t eat human flesh or brains-former vegetarian you know) I think I should at least be considered for a Miss Congeniality of Parenting.  I’m nice, I try, and I don’t judge other people’s parenting.  If nothing else, I probably make other parents feel REALLY good about their parenting.

So what kind of parent do you think you are?  Are you a member of WWP like me or do you fall closer to the PPs-Pinterest Parents?  Pinterest Parents are the great ones who actually do all of that crap they find on Pinterest as well as remember to brush their children’s hair before they leave the house.  I merely have good intentions.  To make myself feel better, I just call them PPs.  Get it?  PeePees?  See?  World’s Worst Parent!

For other tales of my fabulous parenting, read And The Mother of the Year Award Goes To…Not Me!

*Names have been changed to protect people that probably don’t want to ever be associated with me.

Yes, he can be in the WWP club too!  Check out last week's post featuring Darth here!

Yes, he can be in the WWP club too! Check out last week’s post featuring Darth here!

Go ahead, don’t be shy.  Don’t walk, RUN over to Something Clever 2.0 and embrace the insanity.  Tell them I sent you.  On second thought, forget I said that!

Whoever Has The Brain Today Please Stand Up: When ADD People Marry Each Other

Evil Genius left me a note the other morning.  It basically informed me that he wasn’t taking a lunch that day because there was a fundraiser of sorts going on at work.  Oh, and that he had put on someone else’s glasses.

Don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging without an explanation.  This is what happens when two smart but absent minded (ADD) people marry each other.  We both have a lot of brains upstairs.  All of those brains push out all of the other thoughts, you see.  So we kind of have to rely on each other to remember things.  I remind him about work related stuff, he reminds me about not work related stuff.

Every night before I go to bed, I find something for his lunch the next day.  I throw it together and put it in a bag.  Then I write him a note reminding him to take the lunch, and then stick it in a place where he really can’t miss it-like on his wallet or keys or something very important.  Because he gets up at the buttcrack of predawn, it’s difficult to remember much of anything at that time of the morning (I know, I used to do it, WITH a baby).  This, like many things, is not foolproof.  He still forgets it.  I’ll open the fridge and see the lunch still sitting there.  Since he works an hour away and a gallon of gas is roughly the price of a sandwich at Subway, it’s just a lost cause at that point.

There are times when I have considered this strategy for more than one member of our house.

And the glasses-well, they were mine.  I had laid them down when I went to change into my pajamas, and I wasn’t quite sure where I had put them.  Apparently I put them right where he puts his glasses, next to his clock, and he had picked up the wrong pair in the dark.  I find it funny that he wasn’t sure whose they were-he thought they were our son’s.  There are only three people in this house who wear glasses, and it’s not like I entertain groups of bespectacled people in our bedroom while he’s at work.  The whole fact that he didn’t notice that they weren’t his right away is really amusing to me. He is blind without his and I only need mine to see details on the TV or movie, or to drive (I have a slight astigmatism).  I had actually done something similar with my glasses the other day, so you’d think I’d learn to think before I set them down.  I was changing clothes, and he came in and started getting the bed ready to begin his insomnia for the night.  He pulled the blankets up, and it was right then that I panicked-“WAIT!  Where are my glasses?”  Sure enough, I had laid them down right on the unmade bed where he was going to lay down, and had forgotten them.  Thank goodness, because the other pair is long gone.

When we travel together, even just to the next town, we usually either have to make at least one trip back home on our way out of town for at least one thing that we have spaced off, of just say the heck with it and do without.  It’s usually me forgetting an important coupon or something silly like that, or he’s forgotten something like his phone.  What am I saying?  I’m the one who usually forgets the really important stuff-last week he texted me telling me he was on his way home from work, with my keys.  Apparently I had left them in his car.

Yes I have done this.

Don’t get me wrong, we are organized when we need to be.  He is the picture of engineering genius at work.  I know, I’ve seen his cubicle.  When I had my own classroom, while my teacher area may not have been the cleanest, I did have a very efficient and organized classroom.  We’ve got it where it counts.  Once we’re off the clock we’ve got better things to think about.  Then the brain doesn’t always cycle back to remembering that sandwich and chips for lunch.  I left my lunch sitting on the counter at home a bajillion times when I was working. At least when I was at the preschool they would still feed me for free.

A couple of nights ago he came home to me preparing supper.  He noticed that there was celery on the counter.  There was no celery involved in this meal at all.  He asked me if I had been meaning to put it away.  I had, five hours ago after lunch.  He said with a sigh as I went to put it away, “It’s a good thing that between the two of us, we can make a full brain.”  Or something like that, because my brain apparently was already on to something else to fully remember.  It was a good thing he caught that.  We have wasted a lot of condiments that way.  Supper gets done, and we THINK I have put everything away.  The next morning I’ll find something ridiculous out like shredded cheese or ranch dressing, something that can’t possibly stay good out overnight.  I’m not sure why this happens, it’s not like one of us was attacked by a rabid squirrel or something while trying to put the supper aftermath away.

We laugh about this a lot as well as tease each other a ton about this whole thing of forgetfulness.  If you can’t laugh together, well…  While I’m realistic enough to not buy into the silly romantic perfect relationship garbage, I do believe that people find each other for a reason, and that there really is someone out there for everyone.  I stated some of these reasons on our 13th Anniversary post.  I guess if we hadn’t married each other, not only would we never know the total information about a familiar person in a movie, we’d also forget a lot more things.

I don’t believe our flakiness has ever been THIS catastrophic.