Ode to The Baking Queen

I got invited to contribute to an Advent calendar.  Not just any old Advent Calendar.  This is one for a very special person, Karen from Baking in a Tornado.  Every day until Christmas a different blogger is doing something special for her.  Me the superstitious one has been asked to contribute on Friday the 13th.  I guess I had better make this one count, huh?

So what could I give Karen? I’ve known her for most of my short blogging career, which in blogging years is a long time! After a lot of contemplation, I decided to write her a song.  More specifically, a song parody, because she has a fabulous sense of humor.  But what song????  Then it hit me…

Karen has been referred to as many things, because she’s awesome.  Fairy Blogmother is one thing that I distinctly remember.  But to me she is “The Baking Queen”.

Now she is much too young to remember disco, but she may have heard this song before on a Time-Life commercial. You know, the ones where you get 1000 songs on two CDs?

Now, there are a few things you need to do before you actually finish this post.

Remember this guy?

IKE! (Don’t kick the baby.)

Humor me, k?  It will make sense in a minute.

1.  Now, print out this picture…

Print me out! (Pretend I’m saying that in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. Why Arnold? I don’t know, what voice do you want me to use?)

2.  Take a pair of scissors and cut across my mouth. Like Ike.  Really.

3.  Find Dancing Queen.  Here, use this.

Don’t actually look at the lyrics on the screen.  Just play the music.  Don’t know the song well?  Well then you’d better use this.  Just sing REALLY loud over the real lyrics.  K?

4.  Sing the following lyrics in the place of the actual lyrics.  Move the top part of my picture up and down so it looks like I’m singing as you do this.  Better yet, get someone to do that part for you.  You know, just in case you’re like me and totally can’t multitask (yes this counts as multitasking, believe it or not!)

This is as close as you’re going to get to seeing me perform this… though I do play a mean autoharp.

Still with me?  Good… carry on…

Baking Queen
My parody of Dancing Queen by Abba
written just for Karen!

You can bake, you can blog
Having the time of your liiiiiife
Oooo, read that blog, write that theme,
You are the baking queen!

Friday morn and you got the most
In a secret swap that you have to post
Always with some great food, getting in the mood
For crab pockets and pie
She is the mistress of the fly
With tales to make you laugh and crrrrryyyyy
With a bit of cream cheese, and everything to please
Now I really want a snack
And when she gets the knack

She is the baking queen, food that’s sweet, lots of tasty treats
Baking queen, feel the heat from your oven scene, oh yeah
You can bake, you can blog, having the time of your liiiiife
Oooooo, Read that blog, write that theme, add a little heavy cream

You come home and turn the oven on
Don’t burn the cookies when you’re gone
She makes up the best drinks I’ll never pour down my sinks
I’m in the mood to bake
And when she makes a cake…

She is the baking queen, treats so sweet, she bakes like a dream
Baking queen, she has helped with my blog esteem, oh yeah
You can bake, you can blog, having the time of your liiiiife
Read that blog, write that theme, diggin’ the online scene

*****************************************************************

I know, I know, don’t quit my day job.  That’s good, because I can’t afford to quit.

I hope you enjoy my gift to you for today.  Happy Advent Holiday Calendar Friday the 13th to you, Karen!

Friendship is the Best Ship of All

Everybody needs a cheerleader!

Everybody needs a cheerleader.  Darla has been my cheerleader throughout most of my blogging life.  She has pimped me out many times, entered me in contests, and has always assured me that I am good at what I do.  She is someone who I really think is a great friend.  I was very excited when she jumped up in a hurry to join my guest bloggers week!

Darla’s blog is Mom’s World.  She shares little bits of her life, some of it funny, some of it touching, some of it serious.  It is always entertaining.  Please go check out her blog and tell her I sent you!

Here is a bit about Darla:

Mom of 2, a boy and a girl ♥ Wife since 2000 ♥ Daughter ♥ Granddaughter ♥ Sister ♥ Auntie ♥ Cousin ♥ Niece ♥ Friend ♥ I like my eggs over-hard ♥ I love music but I hate Beyonce ♥ My favorite band is Incubus ♥ I bite my nails when I’m nervous ♥ I pretend to be crafty ♥ I am a football (Vikings) and baseball (Giants)fan ♥ I like to play Bingo and bargain shop at Thrift Stores ♥ I like tattoos and want more, especially a butterfly ♥ I love ice cream ♥ I like daisies and roses ♥ I have anxiety, and my biggest fear is death and flying ♥ My favorite Disney movie is “Alice in Wonderland” ♥ My favorite actors are Leonardo DiCaprio and Jason Bateman ♥ My favorite actresses are Rachel McAdams and Ashley Judd ♥ I love love.

And now, without further ado…

First off – I just have to say THANK YOU to my homegirl Sarah aka The Sadder But Wiser Girl for allowing me to be a guest post-er on her fantastical blog!

It’s amazing how quick humans can form a bond with someone. Especially in today’s world where there is more discussion over electronic means than in person.  When I started this blog back in November, I never imagined that I would meet so many awesome people and actually become FRIENDS with some of them! Like, literally “you-know-the-names-of-my-children” friends! Sarah especially, is one true friend. She is so honest and genuine and has this killer sense of humor (which you all see in her blog!).

Being an adult in today’s virtual society, I feel that forming friendships over the ‘net is just as beneficial mentally as an in-person friendship. Now – before everyone gets all worked up over this….being this is my personal opinion and opinions are always evolving, I do feel that the friendships formed really are through common bonds that people share – in person or virtually.

I’ve been a MySpace-er, Twitter-er, Facebook-er and Blogger. I have never really ‘met’ anyone on MySpace or Twitter, but I have ‘met people on Facebook. The majority of the people I ‘met’ were really out to get “friends” for the games like Farmville and Words with Friends. Those, obviously, are not really ‘friends.’

However, as a Blogger this has been the one is where I’ve actually been able to really feel a connection with people. Making myself open up about my personal history and present life has allowed the opportunity to ‘meet’ people who share the same experiences or feelings or sense of humor or just really connect with my personality.

There is this community; fellow bloggers who, like you, open themselves up. You find similarities in life stories, personalities, lifestyles, etc. You’re sharing your feelings you hide from your family because, hey, maybe they understand.

Not only that, but its so opposite from meeting a person, say, at school. You’ve likely never seen them, so if you’ve made any judgement of them, its on the contents of their blog or something along those lines. Your first judgments are on their interests or their personality.

Sure, there are drawbacks. You don’t get the facial clues, you don’t get to laugh at little quirks in their accent, but its just as valid in a completely different way.

It takes time to work up to even hearing a person’s voice. Everything you know of them prior to this point is (Unless they post pictures of themselves) their personality via what they’ve written. And I think that’s kind of beautiful.

Your first phone call, skype chat, or whatever, is like a brand new first meeting, but you’ve already got all this chemistry and friendship behind you. You start fitting the way you have thought of them in with how they look and sound and you’re getting an even fuller picture of them.

And by then, you’re so much closer. You add the intimacy of voices to the the thoughts and feelings you’ve already been sharing. And you KNOW them, even if you’ve never been within 100 miles of them.

That’s my opinion….what’s yours? How do you feel about internet friendships? Give us a comment and let us know!

xoxo,

D

St Patrick’s Day and the Prom Date Snatcher

My little leprechaun. We made leprechaun hats at school!

Happy St Patrick’s Day!

Today’s post is by a blogger that I had to track down.  I had lovely comments by a gal known only as “Ginger” on my blog post.  Oh my, I know several bloggers that follow me that are named Ginger or have the name Ginger in their blogs.  We finally connected, and now she’s guest posting for me on St Patrick’s Day.  The truth is, I thought Thursday was St Patrick’s Day.  For some reason, I was thinking it was March 14th, not the 17th!  How funny is that?  I’m glad she’s so excited to blog about St Patrick’s Day!  Be sure to check out her blog-the link is down below.

A little bit about the lovely Ginger:

I am a 30 something, happy go lucky lil gal from West by God Virginia, with a wicked sense of humor. I am a stay at home mommy to the most adorable four year old, loving wife to the best hubby ever, and have two awesome step kids, who are twenty and eighteen. I quit Corporate America to explore domestic adventure! I love Harleys, and my passion is photography!  I love reading, but currently cannot find my Nook cord!  I used to be crafty until becoming  a mommy, now we enjoy painting and playgrounds! I see everyday mundane things as great blessings and awesome adventures! I find the humor in everything, especially parenting! I write about all the wild and wonderful, crazy happenings in my world, from my quirky lil, sometimes disgustingly positive, point of view, on my main blog, The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps.  I also have a second blog, The Grief Chronicles  , which is all about my journey in grief, after losing my mother, my best friend, 16 months ago next week.  SO don’t be a stranger, hop on over and say Hi! Tell me TSBWG sentcha’! -Ginger

Hi there! I am Ginger From The Wild and Wonderful World of Gingerssnaps . I am excited to have been picked as a guest blogger for today of all days, St. Patricks Day! I had another idea all ready to go, when I realized I landed green beverage day! I am honored and just tickled pink to provide today’s St. Paddy’s Day entertainment! Thank you so much Miss Sarah!

So we were having dinner out.  I had been wondering what to guest blog about here on The Sadder But Wiser Girl, for St. Patrick’s Day.  I had thought about doing a funny SPD traditions, and history of the holiday post, but then my hub said,” They like what you write, so stick to that!” Okay point to Hubbie the Dearest, I’ll abandon my boring SPD idea, and break it out for you! I have to admit, I was a bit intimidated and super duper excited when Miss Sarah called me Epic! Wow! What a complement! So no more freaking out about what to write, I am going to delve into my neuroses, and bring out possibly the oldest for you today!

So while sitting at our local Mexican restaurant the other day, all the above thoughts were swirling through my head, as I stuffed guacamole dipped cheese quesadilla into, my not wanting to eat, 4yo’s mouth, when I heard that voice. The voice from my past that I would never forget. The tinkling, girlie girl, flirty, self assured, dripping raw sex appeal, voice of the prom date snatcher.  Yes folks, she sat diagonal from us in the restaurant, and I was forced to cringe, but at the same time hang on every word that spilled forth from her mouth.  I heard a child whining, and turned around to find none other than, the prom date snatcher! She was looking at her child, and did not see me.  She has met my husband before, but I am guessing did not remember him, as he was sitting facing her, her husband, and child.  I was sitting with my back to her, so I had some semblance of privacy for my eavesdropping!

I immediately felt that same old feeling that I get every time I run into her.  A mixture of dread, heartbreak, betrayal, and the sense of wanting to escape my ex best friend’s presence as soon as humanly possible. Your ex best friend you ask? Yes. The one who stole my senior prom date. The one that effectively broke my heart. And no, I am not over it! I have forgiven her, but I just cannot bring myself to be friends with her again.  She betrayed me.

Now for a little history.  I was’ that girl’ in high school.  The good girl.  I didn’t drink, smoke, or have sex…then I went to college, but that is a story for another day! I had sleepovers with girlfriends, was involved in SADD and Safe Rides, and was deeply involved in a fraternal social service organization, community service, and fund raising.  I was, ‘in love’ with the next door neighbor that I had grown up with, even though it was, as I found out later, unreciprocated. He was my best guy friend. He flirted a good game, leading me on, all the while dating girls that put out from his Catholic High School.  As such, he was my first puppy love crush! I adored this fellow! He had a rough upbringing with a single mother who resented the fact his military father abandoned them.  He also did some, ahem, not so legal things on the side, to earn cash.  So of course the bad boy element added to his allure! Plus he was a latch key kid.  So when his mother kicked him out for a while, he stayed with my family for awhile.  Oh boy, did that ever fuel my adolescent illicit dreams! But alas, I was a good girl, and stayed put under the covers in my bedroom. He also went to private military school for a while.  He told me to write to him, that he would miss me terribly! During which time, I clung to the songs that represented us best in my mind! Hello by Lionel Ritchie, and Because I Love You(The Post Man Song) by Stevie B.  I sang them to him every single night before bed.  I wrote him letters, and dreamed of telling him “Hello, is it me your looking for….” as he passed outside my door.  I dreamed of singing ,” Because I love you, and I’d do anything…..” except, wait…I was a chicken.  I wouldn’t actually do anything, but I dreamed I would for this guy! Teenage melodrama at it’s best people! At it’s absolute best!

When he came back from military school, we resumed our little relationship, going to the movies, group teenage movie dates, sneaking out to hair gel and shaving creaming the house of the guy that stole my dad’s baby Jesus, from our nativity, in the middle of the night, him hanging out with my family, and then my senior year we hooked each other up with our best friends.  No I am actually not kidding about my dad’s baby Jesus. Or the best friend fix up.  A kid in the closed in community where we grew up, a lawyer’s kid who was Mr. Know It All, stole our baby Jesus, and was bragging about it at school!  Well my dad was furious, because you had to buy the whole nativity family, you could just go pick up a baby Jesus at Kmart! So this time, after buy another entire nativity set, my Dad chained baby Jesus down.  I. AM. NOT. KIDDING!  Then he hid in my bedroom window and peeked out to catch Mr. Know It All, trying to steal baby Jesus #2.  Yup, that was my good ‘ol country boy daddy, who by day was actually a doctor. Not all  uncivilized-like chaining, by choking him with a chain around his neck, but drilled holes in his feet, and ran it through.  Keep in mind, I am from West Virginia! Anyway, back to my disastrous prom story!

 So of course I asked my teenage drama love interest, who went to a different school, to my senior prom.  Of course he said yes.  My parents had to pay for his tuxedo, I drove to prom, etc.  It was pre-destined to be a fabulous night! So my best friend at the time and I decided to double date.  She and my guy bff were both a year younger than me, so they were juniors.  She was the best friend for 2 years, that knew all my secrets.  She and I had slumber parties, hung out at school together, made up dance routines to Boyz to Men songs, did karaoke on a regular basis, were in the same SADD and Safe Rides group, talked about all the boys that we had crushes on, and had a ball together.  Were were , to quote Forrest Gump,” like peas and carrots.” And she knew all about X, which what we will call my prom date.

So we all met at my house, she and her date, as well as me and X.  I am in plaid, she is in red.

My momma and daddy took pictures, my grandparents were there, and as we were getting pinned with corsages in my front driveway, it started.  She started flirting with X.  My dad caught it on camera. I will show you.

See.  Told you so!  So we get to the prom, and as soon as she had an opportunity, she asked him to dance with her.  I was upset.  I told him sure, go on, I don’t care.  But deep down inside I did care.  This was my night with him, mine all mine.  And she had to go and flirt with him, and dance with him!  And how dare he! He wasn’t impervious to her charms! ARGH! So finally I danced with my senior girlfriends, and prom ended up being okay.  As he walked around the dance floor, I ignored him.  So once prom was over, one of my younger, junior class friends was having a prom lock-in, which the prom date snatcher’s older , 19 yr old date did not want to attend.  So what do you think she did? Flirted with mine! Leaned over the pool table and wiggled her bewbies in his face!  She pretended she did not know how to play pool, to let him snuggle up to her derriere, and lean over behind her, to “show her.” Yeah right!  I was so pissed off and upset! I had pinned so much on this night, and now it was ruined!  She followed him outside to watch him smoke.  She followed him around like a baby cougar in charge.  See, she had started  to hang out with other girls, ones that slept around.  She tried to talk me into it, but I was sticking to my guns, and was still far too innocent.

I still had yet to go to college, join a sorority, learn how to flirt, learn the unwritten rules of the male-female dynamic, and definitely had not learned how to be a player.  All that came a little later!  She had been learning already, and was ready to snatch my prom date.  She and several others had teased me about him being pretend, and I don’t know if it was pure fascination, or what, but she, my bff, had to go to work on that which was already known as my territory? Why? What bff does that to her supposed best friend? A prom snatching gutter queen tramp ho, that’s who. She broke my heart. So she effectively lost her best friend, did not really ever gain X, and made sure I had a terrifically craptastic one and only prom.  I was so distraught, not having mastered the art of in your face sarcasm yet, that I feigned illness and retreated to the extra bathroom floor, and curled up under the sink, with my pillow, to cry myself to sleep.  I couldn’t stand to watch the betrayal. When morning came, I left, took X home, and ripped him a new one.  Effectively ending our friendship, and whatever else it was or might have been.  I was crying and heartbroken!

So you ask why I still try to avoid her, unless I am forced to be around her? My husband tells me to get over it, it was 21 years ago! Because it brings up memories of what happened, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  That a teenage girl could do that to another girl, supposedly her bff, disgusts me. Plus I remember the double whammy heartbreak. Add that to 2 kids getting shot at my senior skip day, and the last month of my senior year was really, really hard! I did a lot of forced growing up that May, thanks to others!  And the balls! SHe did this all while wearing my mother’s borrowed jewelry! HMPH! The nerve!

So the other night, she actually left after I had to take my daughter to the bathroom.  I was actually going to speak, but she left before I had the chance.  They say karma is a , well you know….and she ended up being a single mom to 5 kids.  She is divorced from my husband’s friend’s bff.  I have heard many stories, and none sound like they were fun nor easy.  She is remarried, with a small child.  She lives near me, but I cannot bring myself to call her.  EVER.  I have no use for someone who steps all over people intentionally.  I now have the best girlfriends that a girl could ask for.  They would do anything for me, just like I would do for them.  I love fiercely and deeply, just as any of my bff’s will tell you.  I have forgiven, but I will never forget.

She was put in my life for a reason.  So I could live and learn.  But beware, this is what a prom date snatcher look like! See the gleam in her eye?

Hope you have enjoyed my little story! Thanks again to Miss Sarah for picking me to guest blog! Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!

The Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge: Friends

I’m doing the Getting To Know The Blogger 15 Day Challenge, started by A Little Unhinged.  I’ve been answering these questions a little out of order, and I apologize for that!

5) Who were your closest friends as a teenager?

Because I moved often, lasting friendships were hard to find as a child.  Since we’re talking about high school friendships, I actually attended two different high schools many states away from each other.  I started my high school years in Florida.  I hung out with a group of girls who were smart, had wonderful imaginations, and loved books and movies like I did.  When my parents had to move back to the Midwest when I was in 10th grade, I was devastated.  We all stayed in touch for awhile, but as the years progressed we lost touch.  Enter Facebook.  I have been able to reconnect with most of my good friends from that time.  That has been awesome!

As I said, we moved back to my parents hometown when I was in 10th grade.  While I never felt like I fit in like I did in Florida, I did make some good friends.  One of my very best friends was a transplant like me who was in the grade ahead of me.  What I admired most about her was the fact that she never was afraid to be herself.  I, on the other hand, as always afraid of what people would think of me when I let my true colors show.  Another friend was in the grade below me, we shared a similar crazy sense of humor.  I also had my friends from band and some of my honors classes, whom I spent a lot of time with.  Again, I haven’t been the best at keeping in touch, since I moved away from there for college and then for good when I married my husband.  I’ve found most of them on Facebook.  I never see anyone in person, just in print!

While high school wasn’t my favorite time of my life, I do smile to think about the people that I was friends with and have been able to reconnect with in the last few years.   I miss having friends like I did back in those years.  As you’ve figured out, I’ve never been very good about keeping in touch or staying in contact with people, especially in the last few years with all that has happened in my life.  Note to self:  Work on that!

Previous Blogger Challenge Posts-This Could Be Fun:  I’m Doing The 15 Day Getting To Know The Blogger Challenge, Where I Grew Up, Favorite Childhood Memories, School, Work, Life