funny kids | The Sadder But Wiser Girl

Did I mention my cat tries to catch flies?

Have you ever thought about what people might think if they saw what goes on behind-the-scenes at your house? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to catch a glimpse of someone else’s daily life? Here’s your chance. Today 14 bloggers are inviting you into their homes to be a fly on the wall.

Buzz around, see what you think, then click on the links below the post for a peek into some other homes:

I actually have TWO children. I have my son, The Professor, who is chatty if you want to know all about the latest superheroes and scientific theories. Here and there he has a good one. However the one who says the classic stuff in our house is The Princess. I decided to make this month all about her, though if you ask her, it’s ALWAYS about her!

The Princess: “Is Doody home yet?”
Me: “You mean Daddy?”
The Princess: “No, Doody is Spanish for Daddy.”

Princess: “Mommy, how can you be older than Daddy when he’s taller?”
Later on, she’s still trying to figure it out: “I know Daddy is taller because his chair is bigger than the couch!”

Princess: “Daddy, your shoes are the perfect size for killing bugs!”

Me, looking at the snow falling outside: “Get out the four wheel drive!”
The Princess, frowning: “But Mommy, all cars have four wheels!”

What else do you do with the death star but make a death star bra?

The kids are settling in to the easy chair with Daddy, one kid on each side of him. Princess: “I’m sitting on the LOVE side!”
Evil Genius: “What side is your brother sitting on?”
Princess: “The NOT love side.”

The Princess: “Mommy, I am a big ball of wax, all ready to be made into a crayon.”

The Princess appears with her magic wand. “Hold still Mommy, I need to change you into a good mommy.”
Me, a little hurt: “Oh, aren’t I a good mommy?”The Princess: “This will make you a good mommy ALL the time.”

Evil Genius: “What are you doing in the kitchen?”
Princess: “Puttin maggots on the fridgerator.”
(They were magnets, apparently the ‘n’ is not important to her)

I hear The Princess talking to the Professor just out of my line of sight by the can box.
“I just drink what’s left out of them and then put them in there,” I hear her say.
Me: “WHOA! Who’s drinking what out of WHAT?”
The Princess: “Um… I’m drinking the water.”
I still can’t see her. “What water?” I ask.
“The water out of the lady cans.”she replies
“Huh?”
She comes into my line of sight with one of my Diet Sunkist Lemonade cans in her hand.
“I drink what’s left out of these.” she says sheepishly.
I roll my eyes, “Stay away from Daddy’s cans.” This is because the only cans he has are beer cans.
“OH NO. Those are man cans. I only drink out of LADY cans.”

She’s always on, that’s for sure.

The Princess would like to thank you for reading this month’s Fly on the Wall. Now she commands you to go visit all the other blogs that are also participating. Failure to do so means OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! I’d do it if I were you…

www.BakingInATornado.com

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/

http://mybrainonkids.net/

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/

http://sanitywaitingtohappen.blogspot.com

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/

http://ibddaddyandme.blogspot.com

www.therowdybaker.com

http://whencrazymeetsexhaustion.wordpress.com/

http://smn0409.blogspot.com/

http://DeBieHive.blogspot.com

http://specialedarmywife.blogspot.com/

Hey it’s almost 2013! Did you know I actually LEARNED stuff this year? I honestly can say this year was an extremely valuable learning experience! I’m gritting my teeth and grinning like an idiot as I say this, because some of the lessons weren’t so fun. And they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. They are wrong.

1) Never ever use the following words in your blog, lest ye have weirdos, pervs, and pornographic spam: Penis, naked, sparkly boobs, poop, pee, Chad Knaus. The others make sense, not so sure about the last one. On a related note, any time I want a laugh, I just go look at the search engine terms that people used to find my blog. Which ones were the best, well that’s another post (in other words, stay tuned)!

He probably reads my blog. Must be a Chad Knaus fan.

2) You can pour your heart and soul into a job, but in the end it don’t mean a thing. Especially if it ain’t got that swing. (Doo-wop doo-wop doo-wop…) We love you and all, but your position is being taken over by a taco. It happened to me. And I’m learning it’s not the end of the world.

3) You can lead a man to underwear, but you can’t make him find it. Ok, so I was a LITTLE behind on the laundry, but I did manage to get a couple of pairs clean. I then laid out some of the clean clothes. I even made SIGNS!

Some guys just don’t pay any attention!

4) Twitter is where it’s at. Mainly because Facebook is a total douche for the blogging population. Pay for people to see my posts? No thanks.

Why cats don’t use social media.

5) Need friends? Blog. The ladies I have met in the blogging universe are the most wonderful, supportive community one could ever ask to be a part of. I get all verklempt just thinking about it. There are too many to name, but you know who you are!

What would we do without the internets?

6) Underwear and butt are the funniest words in the universe. At least in my house. Knock knock! Who’s there? Underwear! Underwear who? Underwear Pajama Butt Pants! Funny stuff, man.

The book the kids had to get for their little cousin for his birthday? They think it’s the funniest book ever.

7) Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you need medication. I probably still need it, I just can’t afford it. Blogging IS terrific therapy, however.

Crazy ideas, crazy lady.

8) Four year olds only appreciate chores that have an element of danger to them. Combined with seven year olds and grumpy genius husbands, ideas for stories on here are always an imminent possibility.

This chore did not have enough danger in it. We put in her charge of cups, therefore she tried to make us rue the day. You can see I’m REALLY upset about this.

9) Just like in everyday life, your blog will have ups and downs. Some days people will make you feel like you’re on top of the world, other days you’re as popular as a booger. You just have to roll with it, just like in real life. Oh wait, this IS real life. Or IS it???

Amen.

I know I learned more than that, but these were the best and most interesting things I’ve learned this year. (WHAT? Uninteresting things are in my head? Believe it or not, I’m afraid so!) I realize that we still have a handful of days left in 2012, but with it being almost the weekend and then a holiday, I’d rather assume that I’ve learned everything I’m going to learn this year. Have you learned anything valuable this year? Feel free to share!